Frustrated morning

Wednesday RUN only 2.5 miles, wanted 5
Thursday RUN 0.75 treadmill, wanted 1
     STRENGTH 20 mins of most of a pull workout, I wanted the whole thing
     RUN 0 miles because we're out of time, I wanted 2

UGH. I waited for everyone else to get their shit together (I said I'm leaving at 6:45am, we don't leave until  710 or so) and then I'm late and miss out. I feel unfinished, like I have this hanging on my to do list. 

We get home on time 8am, but slow to shower, slow after shower, my mind is unfocused and lacking direction, I'm late to work, I have to leave by 1020 to get the midday passport appointment, then a zoom at 1pm then a zoom at 5pm. and UGH. 

I'm thinking I could run home, 3.5 miles. That would put me at 8.65+3.5 = 12.15 miles for the week, run tomorrow and run Sunday to get 20? How will I get stuff to work to run home? Run 4 tomorrow, 4 sunday, that's good.

I'm unfocused with messed up days, and I need to get control of that back. I come home to a flurry. Sometimes I handle it great (last night) and other nights I'm not so great (Monday, I come home overwhelmed). But although last night is great, it has problems. I STILL come home to a long buffet line of dinner: home, wash, shoes, all good. Then: chicken chunks, broccoli, spaghetti squash, more chicken I think, spaghetti squash, rice and butter, rice and butter second bowl, I think more squash, a bunch of water a few times --- and wham --- I'm too full too  much too bloated too much. 

I wake up this morning and yesterday's 1340 is now 1378. FUCK. WTF.

Can I keep blaming hormones?! Did they "make" me crave rice/carbs last night? Am I "bloated" and "retaining"? Is that why my mood is flat, or was my mood flat only after I hit the scale?!

Yesterday ABA promised herself to not eat bread. Even though VLA made soughdough, she still stuck to it. I promised myself not to eat rice, I didn't stick to it. 

UGH>

So what's the plan? I have another 9 days on Noom trial #2. Both the workout plan and meal plan were total wastes. They lessons though are hitting traction, today I'm supposed to be working on my eating scripts. Like - come home and eat the evening away.