Go Ape! run

RUN 1:35 and 8.3 miles

DC joined me and TV for this one in CCP. He hit his toe early in the run (early as in about 0.1 mi in!) and damn that bruise looked awful!

We loopty-looped the noodly trails in upper CCP. It was hot and steamy and I was for whatever reason anxious to get done. My mind kept saying "It's only 10 miles" so I didn't take it terribly seriously. I didn't tape the feets, brought the wrong Cascadia's (and the ones without the insoles!), and didn't bring the Camelbak. In the end I was thirsty, underfed, and blistered on both feet. The Cascadia 8.1's now have a bloody stain at the heel. What's one more stain?

We did a few repeats of the big hill at the very end. I think we named it Vascula hill? From that Killian article he saw on Friday.

For being "only" 8-some miles, this was a tiring run. And it felt WEIRD to be home by 11am.

Rule Development

This will be an post in draft version until finished.

I've decided on 8 rules, it's my favorite number. And it's two 3's face to face. And 3 is my most favorite number. And I couldn't limit myself to just 3 rules.

Another rule: Bee Positive! You'll be more bees with honey, as they say. Smile, enjoy what you're doing, and listen to the whisper of rain.

Lots of energy today, it was a day off! All I have to get done is my BRR shoe shopping spree. :)

The Death of Doubt

RUN 6.6 in a squeak under 55 mins, for an 8:20 m/m pace

Hot, humid, and summery this morning with the group. It's summer baby!

I start most posts for the Thursday run with some whine about how "I didn't think I could do it! Then OMG I did it!". It's getting old.

Time for the Death of Doubt. Out with it. With the trash.

I want to wake up and KNOW I can do something. Maybe I can't do it at the pace I want. Maybe tomorrow would have been a better day. Maybe thinks won't go just my way. But I KNOW I can do it.

This isn't new, really. I learned it with IMWI 2010. When I signed up I doubted myself. After I'd finished I realized just how strong desire can be, and just how motivating. I've been living it ever since.

Well to be honest, not really living it fully. I still wake up with doubts. [A common one: Can I keep up with DC?]. It's NORMAL to have doubts. It's not healthy, however, to let them rule your life.

In the run, I began to wonder why I wanted to sign up for 3DoS 2014. I hesitate because I DOUBT that I can do it! OK, that's a great reason to sign up and TRY IT.

If you're guaranteed success, then there's little thrill.

Sometimes I think I could come up with a list of rules to live by. It sounds so silly, but they keep floating around. I could hone it down to say 8 rules that govern me. What would the Doubt one be?

It's NORMAL to have doubts. It's not healthy, however, to let them rule your life. Embrace doubt and squash it like a python. :)

The Whisper of...Sprinklers!

RUN 51 mins and 5.1 miles to work
BIKE 6.2 miles home from Big Shark

I took the wandering route in to work today, looping through TGP to catch some extra miles. There's a heat wave this week, and I don't see a need to burn myself out with a hot two-a-day. So the modification also includes bringing Puppy home from Big Shark, where he got new tires, cables, bar tap, and some work done in the annual maintenance.

I didn't want to run in, yet I wouldn't have not run in. My tummy was upset (probably ate too much for brekkie) and feeling queasy. Wanted to, but didn't want to. Sounds like mostly a mental problem! I felt better once I started, and even better yet when I came through 6 sprinklers on a street north of the Bot Garden! Sweet!

The day took a bad turn with news from TH--bike crash and injured. My gut twisted with this, I'm worried for her. Then I get details of JM's crash, more sadness. After seeing AK Monday with his arm in a sling, this now makes 3 peeps with major shoulder injuries. Is this the injury of the month or something?

"Can-you" speedwork

RUN: 8 miles in 1:12, trackwork

In addition to a few laps and the run to/from the track:
WU 10x100
MS1: 6x200 as 2x [2x200 "uptempo";1x200 "fresh"]
MS2: 3x [400@5K, walk 50, 350@5K, walk 50]
MS3: 6x200 as 2x [1x200 "uptempo"; 2x200 "fresh"]
CD 10x100

I only counted the 400 and 350 times: 1:36, 1:28, 1:35, 1:27, 1:35, 1:23.
That works out to just-under 6:30 m/m pace!

I'm lovin' these more complicated trackwork sessions! I don't know what to expect for the next set or for my pace. I'm still learning the paces, so to speak :)

With the extra day between my long run, this was feeling better than last Tuesday's speed work. My legs were quick, strong, and ready to fire. I surprised myself in these--I faded in the last 150m or so of the 400's but stayed steady and even said out loud that "I need to dig deeper" to find those last few meters of speed.

All said and done, T joked that maybe I'll find my calling in short distance. ha! I had in my head "can you, can you, can you?" with the dog, hence the title. YES I CAN.

This was refreshing! With each lap, we saw a little more sun on the horizon. GORGEOUS morning. Love it.

The Fall Of Rain, explained

The name of this blog, the quote on my RoadID, and my inspiration the past few years have come from this quote. Time to 'splain myself. This is as close to biblical/religious I'll get. In some translations, it reads "whisper of rain" instead of "fall of rain". Obviously, I prefer the former.

And Iluvatar spoke to Ulmo, and said: “Seest thou not how here in this little realm in the Deeps of Time Melkor hath made war upon they province? He hath bethought him of bitter cold immoderate, and yet hath not destroyed the beauty of the fountains, nor of my clear pools. Behold the snow, and the cunning work of frost! Melkor hath devised heats and fire without restraint, and hath not dried up thy desire nor utterly quelled the music of the sea. Behold rather the height and glory of the clouds, and the everchanging mists; and listen to the fall of rain upon the earth! And in these clouds thou art drawn nearer to Manwe, thy friend, whom thou lovest.”

Then Ulmo answered: “Truly, Water is become now fairer than my heart imagined, neither had my secret thought conceived the snowflake, nor in all my music was contained the falling of the rain.”

Very briefly, Iluvatar was the "God" in Tolkien's world, and Ulmo the Ainur god of water. They were referring to Melkor, the evil Ainur "fallen angel" of Middle Earth. Tolkien fans often ponder why Iluvatar didn't remove Melkor, who was destroying the world the Ainur created. But the Silmarillion says that the Ainur can't create anything that doesn't ultimately come from Iluvator, so anything that goes against Iluvatar's desires will only enhance the creation of Iluvatar's designs.

In the above example, the Silmarillion explains that in freezing water Melkor created snowflakes; in trying to burn water he created clouds and rain. In the end, amidst the storms of fire and ice, something more beautiful was created. At first Ulmo did not appreciate that the desire to destroy something could lead to creations heretofore unimagined.

And why does this fit for me? For me, the challenge of triathlon is to always push myself to higher limits and find the edge. Sometimes it hurts to get there, psychologically and physiologically. Sometimes weather, luck, or injuries conspire against me. Yet in all the suffering, pain, fatigue, disappointments, losses...there is always something to be learned and appreciated. And when I come out the other side of these pains, I look back and see how much I've grown from the experience.

There is always something positive you can find, though I admit sometimes you really have to look for it. Hot day? Great--it's summer and the hours of daylight are the longest. Out in the heat and not enjoying it--heat acclimation training! Suffering the heat and not feeling so good--you found a weakness to work on. About to die--I'll bet it was a pretty sunrise.

So when it's hurting, or even when it's wonderful, I'll stop and listen. To my breathing, my footfalls, my heart beat, and the whisper of rain upon the earth.

MiTi is 363 days away!

Last run of the big weekends

RUN 5.2 miles in 59 mins

I can't believe I went to this run. I can't believe I doubted myself. And I can't believe it felt so good in the end.

RM and I ran QP with Daisy :) My goal was to not hurt or get hurt in doing so. Once this run was done, it's taper time! So just get through this!

We took an easy pace and I walked most all the uphills. My form suffered on them and it just wasn't worth it. I didn't hurt in any specific way, mostly just a tired soreness. Why did I doubt this, after so many other back-to-back runs, and after the Redman full to sprint weekend last year?! I can do this!

And at the end--I yelled out: "I DID IT!"

Bring on the taper. Bring on race specific packing and thinking. Bring on the MT50.

The last 30 miler in this progression

RUN 30.6 miles in about 5:45 moving time

Well here it is, the last long run of the MT50 progression. In the Poto50 progression, this was a technical Greenrock run following the LBL race. What sounded so hard when I first read the schedule has now become normal.

We've been having mild, cool weather here the past few weekends which was kinda spoiling the heat acclimation I had worked up in July. But as expected, the heat came back. At the end of this run, it was a fully sunny 91F. TV and I started at Lost Valley for a 11 mile loop, then headed to Katy to connect to Klondike. This last part was all new to me, I'm happy to know that even after all the running I've done in the past year I can still find new paths.

The LV loop went great, the only problem being that my head took a damned long time to get into the game. My brand new Cascadia v8.2 shoes broke into this run faster than my brain. Things improved with a 2x caffeinated gel, but not by much. I chalked it up to cumulative fatigue and heat.

The first 10 miles of the Katy clicked along smoothly. It was a mixed blessing that most of our last 19 miles were mostly flat on the Katy. The heat and fatigue probably would have left me tripping over everything in sight. As it was, the constant pausing at maps was messing with my rhythm. I was eating right on schedule, and thought I was drinking OK, but as it turns out I was probably waaaay behind on hydration.

We reached Klondike at just under 19, then had 5-6 miles of singletrack up and down a bluff. I was mentally struggling, but physically OK, and that's why I kept going. At the 21 mile mark we stopped at a water source to fill the packs. I tried some math, a simple subtraction of 21-18=? and failed. Again and again, then reached the point of not thinking at all. I was already having troubles remembering simple things (like Arwen's name, that bothered me the whole time!) and TV suggested more rest. It seemed to help, but in reality I just needed to keep moving and finish up.

On the way back down the hill, my diaphragm cramped up again. As with all silly pains it went away soon enough, but left behind a nagging soreness. The return trip home seemed to take less time than the outbound, and it probably helped that I was really pouring down the water by this point. Instead of 3 gulps per sip it was 5. That's about all I changed, so the lesson here is that I need to drink MORE.

No other major revelations in this last long run. My nutrition is dialed in, my hydration needs help if it's hot out. My gear is selected and ready. Now I just need to taper! No, wait, one more run!

Final big Wednesday

STRENGTH: 38 mins of PlyoX, then the AbsX
RUN 6.5 miles in 60-65 mins, commuting

Wednesday is supposed to be a midweek long run day, but I've changed it up to get 2 long runs Tues and Thurs, then a cross training day on Weds. I added the two a day to amp up the challenge. This doesn't sound like a big day, does it? 6.5 miles? With 3 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon? No, sure doesn't.

But this run home is amazingly hard. I want so badly to WALK. But I won't let myself. I slow way the hell down, but don't walk. OK, maybe I'll walk 10-20y or so on the hill up to the rez.

On top of the fatigue, it's always warmer in the afteroons. And my legs are already shot from the workday, heck I don't run well in the afternoons even if that's my only run of the day.

So there are plenty of reasons to do this. The heat, fatigue, dead legs, and lack of motivation--I'm going to see every one of those reasons to stop in this race. In any race, really.

As for the P90X, I did the PlyoX DVD with about 60-70% effort. The AbsX DVD I tried but had no motivation (or abs strength!) to finish. Combined with the fact that I needed to get to work, it just didn't happen. But I tried. I really need to get back into that habit.

Something new at the track

RUN 10 miles in 8:27

For the first time, I ran with T and his group. His sessions always seemed more intricate than the plans I brought for myself and since I was out of inspiration for my personal plan I thought I'd try this today.

The "on" intervals at about 5K pace: 600 on, 300 rest, 300 on, 150 rest, 150 on, 100 rest. Repeat 5 times. That adds up to a mile, and the mile should end up being about 10K pace. My mile intervals ended up being in the 7:45-ish range.

The first interval I miscalculated and did 5 laps. The last interval I cut short to join the group's 10x100 CD. So I don't have much data to report, but I do have some observations.

First off, I'm amazed I could run this at all after having a 43 mile weekend! Yay and Wow! Goes back to my theory that most fatigue has a mental component. If you think you're tired, or think you should be, well then that's probably how you'll feel. Second, I may have been running but I wasn't strong. My 600's faded around the 300 mark, and my 150 and 100 rest were barely enough. But yowza I was doing sub-8 miles! This goes back to my speed work-as-mental-training theory, that if you can force yourself to do speed work even when you're tired you'll be surprised with the result. This lesson is what drove the Rt 66 HIM half-mary PR: when you're in-race and feeling tired, you'll know you're capable of continuing because you did it every Tuesday in speed work.

Third, it takes a lot more brain to run with math. Usually I get lost in the run and my mind drifts. It's easy to do that when the plan is something like a 1200 with 400 rest. But to break the track up into segments and count the laps--woo that's not as easy! So I liked that the miles just clicked by. Finally, it took extra brain to enforce the pace. At the end of the first mile, I was blending my on and rest paces into one steady pace. Instead I needed to keep the on fast then milk the recovery.

This felt great, and I'll be back next week!

In general, I'm feeling 50 times better than I did yesterday. My energy and mental clarity are super today, I feel like I'm high on something. Yesterday I was sludge. I went home early and just laid on a bed for a few hours, also drank LOTS of water. I was worried that my lab meeting this morning would be sludge, but instead I felt great about it. Apparently, taking recovery seriously means I can seriously recover. Duh! But it's hard to do this sometimes.

I have a decision to make for tomorrow--The goal mileage this week is about 60 miles. The plan calls for a 4+12+6 midweek and a 28+12 weekend. I'd already modified the midweek 20 miles to 10+bike+10. Now I'm asking myself--how important is that weekend 12 and would it be better to run tomorrow instead? If I put the run on Weds (tomorrow) I'll get 6 miles probably in a two-a-day commute. If I did that, I'd only run 6 miles on Sunday. Which is the better option? Two long midweek runs and a weekend back-to-back? Three midweek runs and a one quality weekend long run? Split the 12 miles between Weds and Sun?

Putting the run on Sunday would be harsh and potentially damaging. Although the mental toughness and willpower needed that would be ultra race specific, and really good for that HTFU I'm going to need in the race. But I didn't do this 28+12 for the first 50M (was too tired) and I survived the 50M. But this is the 2nd round, I'd like to think I've improved to where I can do a 28+12 back-to-back.

I'm thinking that 12 is just a number, and if I ran 4 or 6 on Sunday, I'd get the same effect: I'm tired and I'm making myself run. And the two-a-day commute is one of the hardest things to do. So I've decided: 6 mile commute tomorrow, and 6 miles on Sunday super EZ, or whatever it takes to add up to 12 miles.

Sludge fest Monday

Aren't all Monday's a sludgefest? They seem to be at least this time of year. For the past few years August has been a peak month for me. 2010 Wisconsin. 2011 Pigman/Savageman. 2012 Redman. 2013 MT50. 2014 MiTi?

I'm writing this on Tuesday (a retrospective) because on Monday I was remarkably uninspired to write anything at all. Fatigue is hard to convey. How do you get across the feeling of walking underwater? The inability to answer a question when asked? The lack of motivation to even walk down the hall to use the restroom?

To top it off, I had the tick bites to worry about. Also the continued feeling of something in my eye (eye Dr confirms I'm OK). And an aura! Awful day. But I was in good spirits, I wasn't too lousy to be around (I hope!), and I took the recovery seriously. I didn't even commute in! Thankfully 4 episodes of the the new ANTM season were on the DVR. :)

[Update on the ticks--they looked OK Monday, but as of this writing on Tuesday they are little red bumps. Not super inflamed angry bumps. Just little pin-prick looking things. I otherwise feel OK.]

30 miles of Chubb plus plus plus (+ticks)

RUN 30.00 miles in ~6:13, about a 12:20-something pace.

Week total: 53-ish miles running, 56-ish miles biking, 30 miles commute.

Just when you think you know Chubb, it turns out you don't know Chubb.

The goal was 30 miles. In my mind it was 30.00, as in 'not taking another step' once the Garmin beeped 30. This is the first of 2 high mileage weekends, the final tune-ups before the race. After that it's a sharp taper, so now is the time to hammer it all out.

Another gorgeous day. If there's anything to summarize this summer's weather, it's "what summer?". Seriously, it's always 70-some odd degrees and wonderfully cool outside lately. No long sleeved shirts yet, though! We also got clouds for most of the morning, more luck! A few problems, which I'll indicate with this little ^ tick mark. You'll see where this going soon enough.

I'll break it up into segments.
1-11: We decided to walk the uphills, and doing this early on was a huge save for me. It's something hard to do in a race when the gun is just shot off, so practicing it now was needed. Even though neither of us had a starting gun. TV didn't spray me with the usual DEET, and we joked that I'd be the negative control for today. ^ We started at the WT end, so up and over the bluff to start with a little Chingy to warm the legs up. We ventured out accidentally onto my "lost hill" where I slipped on rock--nice bruises! I ate q45 mins, had no issues at all, and enjoyed the new-to-us 3 mile Castlewood Loop (why why I told it's flat and boring? It's a pretty meadow and shaded trees!). We arrived at the water drop side at the end of the Chubb trail still feeling good, excepting I had something in my eye.

11-15: We found some new trails here and wandered a bit. The first trail dead-ended at the highway, and a turn off from that tapered out to a creek bed with no clear trail. The ends of these were rough, bushy, unopened and were probably the local deer commute paths. ^ To our surprise, we found another trail marked with turtle signs, and further exploring landed up at the bird sanctuary. I knew this was in the area, but had no idea it was right there!! Turns out we were on Turtle Bob's trail, it's part of the Sanctuary. This led us back to the Chubb trail (again to our surprise). Seeing our mileage, we knew  we had some changes to make to our original Double Chubb plan.

16-24: Back to the start again adding miles at the Castlewood Loop, met up with a mule and a donkey (it's probably their poop I nearly landed in at a few points). Close to the parking lot that long run feeling was starting to settle in, a little bit of trail stare and clumsiness. But being so close to the truck it was easy to manage. We tried the baby food sweet potato--yum! At the truck, we met another runner--a younger guy thinking about 70.3 and RnR26.2. Do it!!! Hope he signs up :)

24-30: Now the pain was setting in, my right ankle did not want to start running again and left me limping up another new trail for the firt 0.25-0.5 miles. This new trail put us at the Chubb shelter, and so back up to the picnic table we went. Once there, we explored again and found a trail that is a detour around the steeper descent to the wall, and adds a few tenths on a narrow singletrack. Back up the hill to the picnic table, then back down the Chubb trail. By this time, I'm alternating between feeling good and feeling dead. Sounds about right. Once the parking lot, we needed another mile. So up and around Chingy, where I turn my right ankle a bit. I only mention it because I was surprise to learn that I was able to control the fear and keep running. (no damage from it later, I just get panicky?). Then another half mile needed. Up and around another side loop, and in this loop I started to crash. I just lost focus, but got it back once I quit walking.

30.00 STOP!

All was well until I peeled off my compression socks! TICKS!!!!!!! HOLY F^CK there were hundred's of them. Most washed off under water with some scrubbing, a few were too stuck and got plucked later. Turns out they were seed or larval ticks. I need to look up how ticks pick pathogens--whether vertical or host transmission. If it's vertical, I joked that I'd been exposed to every tick-borne encephalitis know to science. There was some hope that they were chiggers, but judging by my lack of skin reaction we're going with ticks. Another piece of good news is that they supposedly need 12+ hours to really attach and spread disease. I caught them in less than 8hrs.

Lots of water recovery, very little appetite, but felt surprisingly great!

What to work on next weekend? My current Cascadia's v8.1 are losing their soles, so I need to break in the new ones. I get hungry for something real around the 5hr mark, so maybe a sweet potato? Otherwise, keep it going into next weekend!

RBR Sammich

RUN 6.6 miles in 1:07
BIKE 15.6 miles in 1:02
RUN 6.5 miles in 1:12

Ah the iron sammich. I do love these workouts! 13 miles of running in 3 hrs of training using the bike ride as an aerobic extension. This was a refreshing workout that didn't beat me up at all and was included as an initial wear-down for tomorrow's loooong trail run.

LC, TH, RM, and IML-2013 PG joined me for this. I described it as 'social casual pace', and it certainly was! During the run I'd see my HR hovering in the mid 120's.

Gorgeous day, perfect weather, great friends, lots of tri conversation, a chance to catch up with people and hear whats's going on.

Ended on a good note with RM not walking in the last run loop. Was his goal, and he did it!

Rest day for the body, but not for the mind

COMMUTE: 6 miles with some hill play
SWIM: ?

Another day of good solid energy. That seems a strange thing to have to report, but since it is an improvement over how the week started it's worth mentioning.

I haven't swum yet, and I might or might not get there. We'll see.  Whatever that little bump is on the back of my left wrist hurts, and I'm sure water pouring over it repeatedly won't feel any better.

It Just Comes Natural and Just Dance are stuck in my head.

I'm bored at work. Waiting to leave, maybe I should swim?

What a day...waiting...

Fast 4 miles with the group

RUN 6.6 miles in 54:55 8:19 m/m pace

And I slowed down after 4 miles!? Holy cow what was my pace before I slowed?! AND WHY DID I SLOW DOWN?! I was getting sloppy form, it was a struggle, and I wanted to talk to LC. Good enough reasons for me.

And I wanted to run a total of 10 today. WHY DID I STOP?! Cuz I'm lazy. Good enough reason for me :P

I'm on the upswing from my low, the low of energy and motivation. And from the low grade fear I suffered due to injury fears. At least as I sit here now, everything feels good. Some minor tingling in my left foot now and then. And if I stretch too far or roll either feet funny, I get a sharp burn. So while things are perfectly healed over, things are definitely better.

Twice today I've been a work-out conversation target at work. One person was happy to report she was strength training. Another loved the weather for running. I admit I'm one dimensional when it comes to topics, I'd much rather talk about something I'm comfortable with. But since I'm so elitist and macho...LOL. Yet I'm happy to talk about those topics and I'm happy to be inspiring, if that's the right word for it.

Playtime with the Pup

BIKE 12 extra miles in FoPa on top of the 6 mile commute. Just needed some play.

It's happening again. That end of year chaos. Not the end of the calendar year, but rather the training year. I'm only realizing this right now as I type, but the race is 1 month away. So maybe I shouldn't be surprised that it's happening again.

I'm skidding. Not kidding. Skidding. Sliding. No traction. You get the idea.

My training plan since the HIM a few weeks ago was rumbling right along until my 56 mile running week, which was the week immediately following the HIM. It was part of my plan--to have 2 build weeks, then a rest, then two more build weeks. Then the taper.

Last week was my much-needed rest week. This week is supposed to be a build. So far it's a bust.

But it's only HUMP DAY. LOL.  OK now I'm kidding. What I mean is that I can't write off an entire week, when it's only day 3 of 7.

So that being said, what needs to happen to turn this week around? What needs to happen to turn this month around?

Well first off, don't stress it. This might be a good thing as it will give the injuries, both acute and chronic, a chance to heal. It might also be what I need to avoid burn-out, both before and immediately after the race.

But judging by the last few days, the biggest thing I need is a schedule. My tri training plan kept me going up to the HIM. Now that the tri is over, I seem to be lost. So a few things I need to fix:
1. A better scheduled morning. Today I woke up late at 6:50 but then sat around until 830 doing...what?!? I don't know?! I walked the dog, got to work at 9:30, started an incubation, then got my bike ride in. Before the HIM, I'd get up early for the indoor bike before run commuting to work. Granted run commuting is out while healing, but I didn't even have the urge to run today.
2. More to do at work. Work was super slow this weak, and to be honest it's got a lot to do with my low motivation. There's probably things to do, I'm just not identifying them.
3. Better meal schedules. For the past two days, I ate a big brekkie, no lunch, then a big dinner. Oooof my tummy and body hated it. Today is better so far. No wonder my motivation flags at work--I'm hungry!
4. A training schedule. Yes I have the running schedule, but I need to spice it up a bit. I miss swimming and biking! I want more strength training!

Those are some pretty easily addressed goals. Just spend some time (a schedule for my scheduling?!) to think these things though, as opposed to just thinking about.

But at the same time, rest and heal. And don't push so hard to burn out. ENJOY it.

And to update on a few other things alluded to but not addressed above--my left ankle feels OK, a bit stiff; my facial tic is still there, mild but there, so I'm not fully rested; I slept about 9 hours last night, so I'm not fully rested; my PF fears are subsiding, but it's still early in the day so ask me again at night when it seems to be worse.

Easy run at the track

RUN 45 mins and 4.5 miles. No intervals, just run.

"Nobody ever defended anything successfully, there is only attack and attack and attack some more."

--General George S. Patton

The above quote applies for me two ways today.

First. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn't help but worry about my feet. The tingly pain that might be plantar fasciitis is most prominent at night after I take the weight and shoes off my feet. I thought PF hurt most in the morning, at which time I don't have symptoms. (I'm using this line of thought to keep myself convinced it's not PF). I can't help but think--what to do, what to do, different shoes, stop running for a few days, stretch more, stay on schedule, don't change shoes it will just hurt another part of the foot, golf ball rolls, ice, rest, run. What to do, what to do.

Today I could have taken the morning off from running. A 4.5 miler won't make or break the 50 miler in terms of energy or stamina or speed, but it could make or break my feet in terms of being able to run the 50. But what do I do anyway? I run. I attack and attack and attack. Only to later wonder if I did the right thing.

Second. A conversation with LC today reminded me that I need to work on swimming. I've said recently that my swimming plan is poor and uncharted. I don't know what to do about it. I take lessons, I swim 100+ miles a year, I don't swim--and still have the same speed and problems as always. What would it take to help me improve?

I don't know, but all I can say right now is that I'm sure as hell not giving up on it. More lessons, more master's classes, whatever. Attack and attack and attack.

The art of racing in the rain

"I always wanted to...but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I, alone, could manifest a change in that which was around me. By changing my mood, my energy... And while I cannot say that I am a master of my own destiny, I can say that I have experienced a glimpse of mastery, and I know what I have to work toward."

The Art of Racing in the Rain, Garth Stein 

Living The Dream

Yesterday when asked how I was doing, I replied that I'm working a lot and running a lot, in essence I guess I'm "Living The Dream". This resulted in what sounded like doubt from the questioner.The follow up question was "Are you really?" as if maybe I was joking or being sarcastic. No I assured them, I'm happy, healthy, and busy. What more could I want?

What kinda question is that? And maybe it's less the question and more the tone behind it. The doubt. As if to ask, working and running--is that really the dream?

Well, to be honest, the 'working' part is really not the career I'm referring too but rather that I'm busy with stuff to do. Whether it's lab or house or dog or errands, I'm a busy bee.

For me, busy = happy. So does running. Running/training/racing/planning, it's all the same.

So when I think about it, YES I AM living the dream. And I encourage you to live yours as well.

Resting on Greenrock

RUN 17.1 miles in 3:40 at Greenrock

And so ends my rest week--with a very mild left ankle injury! But this was otherwise a great day. Perfect weather and companions. EK and her AR team joined me and TV for a one way trip up Greenrock.

I had planned kinda poorly for this trip. I skipped some of my usual rituals, like taping my feet and wearing compression socks. I also didn't pack much food. In my head, I was thinking "It's ONLY 17 miles" and so maybe that caught up with me.

The pace and conversation moved fast, but at the same time I was aware of the the first few miles passing slowly. It wasn't until after 2.5 miles that I let that go and just ran. And run I did--I was having a great fast-downhill day!

We paused at the VC for water, and for some reason after that point I never re-settled into the run. I just didn't get the flow back. So it didn't take long before I mis-stepped and turned my ankle! F^CK! It hurt, tingled, then subsided into a pivot-sensitive pain. Of course after this point I'm injury-focused. And what happens when you start focusing on something? You do it! Next thing I know it seems like every rock is a trip-up or pivot point out to get me. I rolled the right ankle a little too, so by the last few miles I was a mental mess. I dropped back to stay focused, which helped but hurt at the same time because of that sense of "they're waiting on me". Oh brain. You need to STFU sometimes....

Later on it was OK, so far no swelling or purpling. Like I expected, nothing too serious?

Macho and Elitist. Who me?

BIKE 20 miles in ??
RUN 3 miles in about 35-40 mins

Took the day to work with a group of new triathletes. I was indirectly told that my attitude was elitist and macho. I won't deny that, but at least wait until I do something elitist and macho to call me on it!

Nice restful day otherwise.

Recovered by Friday

Took yet another rest day, only riding the Pup in for the commute. It wasn't until late in the afternoon that I felt some pep coming back to me.

That's a lot of recovery time, and goes to show how critical and how damaging those back-to-backs can be.

Skipped the Thursday run

RUN 0
Walk 45 mins with the doggie
COMMUTE 6 miles on bike

I should note that I am commuting every day, 4 days biking and 1 day running. That adds up!

Oh excuses, excuses. I woke up at the normal time and knew pretty much right away I wouldn't be running. And you know how I knew? Because I didn't even feel guilty for it! Usually when I skip a workout I have this triathlete guilt, a nagging sense of "oh you should have...".

Not today. Oh no. I'm tired. So tired in fact my facial tic was briefly back this morning!

It's hard to convey fatigue in words. The heavy, dead legs. No motivation or momentum. Apathy.

This is a rest week, I should feel rested, and I don't yet. My weekend plans are a mentoring ride on Saturday and an 18 mile trail run Sunday. Maybe I'll run Friday. We'll see.

Either way, no guilt about today!

2x run and 4x tired!

BIKE 40 mins and 11 miles
STRENGTH 15 mins of AbsX
RUN 3.2 miles, about 30 mins
RUN 3.2 miles, about 33 mins!

Yikes! No wonder I'm tired! The bike ride was to wear the legs out a little more without the pounding. The strength training was because I felt lazy doing only 40 mins of biking instead of 60.

The runs were part of my run commute/TAD plan. I moved the TAD from Tuesday to Wednesday so I could leave Tuesday's as a speed work and quality focus. This sounds so easy--run 3 miles, work, run 3 miles.

Then why is it so damned hard?!

The run in was unremarkable, except for just how gorgeous the day was looking. Cool, clouded, a light foggy air.

By 3pm I was dreading the ride home. I'm doing my "standing desk" thing at work for 4-5 days now and boy am I surprised at just how tiring that is. I knew sitting was a relaxed position, but I didn't realize just how much more muscle engagement is required for standing. Not walking, standing. I'm more efficient (cuz I'd rather be moving, it's easier!) and waste less time, I have more energy since I'm not slumped over a desk, but I also have some tired feet and knees! I'm stretching my legs more, that's a good thing. I'm feeling some tightness in the soles of my feet, that's maybe not a good thing. I'm sidetracked...

By 3pm I was looking out the window towards home (I can see the tower from there) and wondering why that 3 miles seemed so far. TV even mocked me a bit, and I joined in by calling up the elevation profile for the run. That last hill that I dreaded the most was only 100 ft. I'm sidetracked again...

So by 530 when I left for the parking lot I wasn't feeling it. I dropped off my bag at DH's car and secretly hoped he'd give me a ride home. Nope, he wasn't done yet. I'm on my own. I was secretly happy for this.

The day had warmed up but it wasn't hot. Regardless, I was sweating. It took a lot of mental encouragement to finish this run, and I coaxed myself along saying "just to the next stoplight", "just to the next stoplight...". Lots of coaxing, lots of positive self-talk, lots of HTFU. In the end I did run most of it, excepting about 10 feet on the "big hill" and about 25 y in the park.

When I got home I was pretty cooked. Hungry. Hot. Tired. Didn't even feel like walking my poor doggie!

Step down workout in the fog

RUN 6.45 miles in 1 hr
COMMUTE 6 mile bike

This morning was beautiful. There was a light fog before sunrise that turned the sky a light pink color. The air seemed to glow this pretty shade of pink/red for a few moments before it turned to gray. The air temps were perfect too, that skin-temp temperature that is neither warm nor cool. And running in fog is just fun, everything looks different, the city smaller, the buildings obscured....just pretty! Oh and a very light almost not there rain fell :)

I'm still recovering from the 34 mile weekend, and starting off this run was tough. I knew that once I got moving I'd feel better, but it took a long time to feel better! The goal was step-downs: 2x1200, 2x800, 2x400 (400m). I had thought about doing 3x, but oh-no--2 was all I could do. We did a long 400m recovery of walk 100m, run 200m, then walk 100m for complete recovery. I needed it, after some intervals I thought I could puke.

I'm so grateful BE was there for the workout, he kept me moving. T & J had arrived early and were finished with the 200's workout right as I arrived. My legs felt dead, my body heavy, my mind unmotivated. Left alone, I would have done the workout but more sluggishly. So BE even though you're never likely to read this, thank you & I appreciate it! And I'm happy you're running again :)

Distance	Time	Pace	Ave HR
0.83	6:25	7:42	139
0.82	6:24	7:46	143
0.54	3:56	7:19	148
0.54	3:52	7:14	150
0.27	1:43	6:20	148
0.27	1:47	6:36	148

Friend to Friend relay long run

RUN 18.4 miles in 3hrs

My training plan called for a 26+10 weekend, or 36 miles total. Being the OCD fool that I am, I decided that since yesterday had only 16 miles, today should have about 20. Great idea, right? Not surprised, right?

I started out from home, walking with DH and the dog through the park before splitting off. Very shortly after splitting off I run into MK! She turns around and runs a loop of TGP with me. She had just finished a big race and I was happy to hear about it, as it's the type of race I'd like to do someday but probably won't. But hey, who knows!? This was the best-paced 4 miles of the day, with a nice sub-9 pace. Things slowed down after that. While running with MK, we saw CB twice going the other direction :)

I continued back through TGP and came up behind some of the BRR training groups. One of my plans was to run to BRR SC before heading to the RDP Greenway, so while heading that way I run into BK! I run with him a bit before a break at the YMCA. Off to BRR SC where I see him again, and get a chance to see EC! Four friends in just the first 7 miles, this was awesome!

The day was beautiful--cool and sunny, but I was suffering already. I wore the Camelbak, I usually don't in the in-town runs but I'm glad I did today--I really needed it. I stuck to my q45 min feed schedule and soon noticed that the only time I felt good running was soon after eating. Was that physiological or psychological? Hard to say, but it was pretty clear. After leaving the store, my mood and motivation started to slip such that be the time I reached 12 miles I was ready for this run to be over. But I was still miles from home!

I hadn't run the RDPG in a while, probably since 2011, so it was kinda new to me. Also new was the diversion into Carondelet Park. I've never run there! And unfortunately today's run didn't enlighten me to the layout or perks. I just wanted to be done. By the time mile 15 came around, I realized I didn't have much more in me. By 17 I was happy to be a mile from home--my feet were scuffy and stuttery; my head wasn't calculating traffic; my legs felt dead; my water was mostly gone; and a right quad muscle felt like was about to seize up.

My initial plans were for 20.3 (to round up yesterday's 15.7 to 36). I'll be honest, I didn't have another 2 miles in me. Even the last half a block walk to the house was awful.

I recovered relatively quickly, but wow what a run. What a weekend! What a week! 55.7 miles running!

The Buford Beast

RUN 15.7 miles in about 3.5 hours, 3100 ft climbing!

While packing for this run, I noticed that the Cascadia 8's are missing some lugs! They have about 350 miles already, that seems soon but I do put a beating on those shoes. Time for new ones!

This was like a special day, excursion run. One of those once-a-summer runs in which the driving vs running mileage is unfavorable, but it's all worth it.

EK and TV ran with me, starting off with a rainy drive down, followed by a rainy start and a foggy overcast. This eventually burned off to a sunny day with stunning views over the mountains. And of course, the pretty rain :)

I call them mountains, they're really the only local such option! And they lived up to the name in relative terms. The hills were LONG. Long as in Oh Geez when is it going to end long. And rocks. Rocks everywhere on some of those hills. I ended up walking up the rocky hills, in part energy conservation and in part ankle conservation. I was walking up as fast as I was running them!

But the down hills I used to improve on my weakness--downhill technicals. I'm a pussy-foot down the rocky hills for good reason, but it's become a little too pussy-footin'. These descents were long enough for me to try various things in a sustained test. I found that keeping my eyes more forward on the trail worked better than keeping them drilled into the few feet in front of me. I also found that just keeping a steady pace helped, instead of slow-go-slow-go. And EK had a good suggestion, to make use of the width of the trail in a lateral sense. I was doing that--picking a line from left to right and back--but I wasn't taking advantage of it. I thought it was a problem slowing me down, but I think if I worked on it I could take that and "run" with it, haha.

It wasn't my mileage goal today, but it was all worth it!

I thought I was too tired. So explain to me today's pace!

RUN 6.6 miles in just under 55 mins, for a 8:15 ish pace
COMMUTE 6 miles

I went to bed fatigued, woke up fatigued, then started coming up with excuses as to why my run would be slow. Thinking...maybe I should shoot for a 10 m/m pace...maybe I should drop off the back right away so I don't feel like I was dropped too hard...maybe...oh HTFU. Just go.

It was just me and IT, DS and CB were there but ran their own loop. IT and I talked racing and I got to verbalizing some of my recent philo-tri-sophical thinkings. A summary is below, it's good to remember these and come back to them at some point. But first the run.

We started out at 8:45 pace but that turned out to be the slowest mile! I was huffin' and puffin', but keeping up! By mile 4 my legs were getting burned. My mile 5 I had tight muscles at the lateral quads. My mile 6 I was wobbly. But I knew I could do it, so I didn't stop or slow. This past Saturday's race really drove home the point that you can ignore those mental ramblings and perform well. And here I thought I was too tired.

So back to my mental ramblings. They fall into a few categories.
1. I hold myself back too much. As Saturday and today proved, I can push myself to improvement. So why don't I? Why do I let the mental side of "oh I hurt" or "oh I'm tired" win? Dammit, shove that weak shit aside and f'ing GO. Why don't I?

2. I see the race season as big waves, but I let them crash into shore instead of riding them out. A big build to an A race, big A race, then a hard crash after the A race. Sound familiar? That's me! I'd like to learn to go with the flow more in the season, to let races build with and for each other. To run the MT50 and keep some of that in the back pocket as base training for 3DoS.

3. I'm not trying very hard. I seem to think about trying hard, but am I out there doing it? OK no doubt I do a lot of work, this journal confirms that. But I'll loaf a ride to enjoy the social aspect instead of going out and doing my own thing at my pace. Those type of days are few and far between. Maybe a better way to say this is that I'm trying harder but not smarter? I run and ride (and swim) the same way all summer and do I really expect to improve?

4. I'm doing something wrong in iron distance racing and training. When the iron training is harder than 50M training, but then the 50M race is harder than the iron--what does that mean? IT pointed out that the 50M adds up to a lot of pounding on the legs. Good point. But at the same time, I know I haven't PUSHED in an iron tri yet. Heck, have I pushed in a half iron tri yet? I did once in an olympic and the results were good. But when it comes to long distance I tend to stick to Steady Eddy. And steady as she goes really just means that the only way she goes.

5. I limit myself at the swim. I was going to type something like "I can't swim no matter what" but I caught myself before doing it. Yesterday JM offered more coaching time in the pool. It got me thinking--would a few more hours help? I've spent hours and $$$ on swim lessons and Master's, with minimal if any improvement in speed. My confidence in the water went up, but my pace didn't. It's as if I don't Get It for swimming. They are all telling me the same thing, but I Don't Get It. Yeah, well, 1-2 swims a week this year ain't doing much for me: just look at Saturday's time of 53-f'ing-minutes! (OK OK it was a no wetsuit...but still). What if I dedicated to 3-5 swims a week? Go back to the Saturday Master's in MidCo? Commit to improvement? Look what it's done for my run, what could it do for my swim? Why do I limit myself by saying "I can't swim, I can't improve, I just don't Get It". Huh?   WHY?!?!?

Keep thinking...keep being honest.  You might learn a few things.