Found my current upper limit

RUN Treadmill 6.2 miles, ran 5 miles of that
STRENGTH 20x 1-minute intervals, upper body, increased weights
NO COMMUTE! More over night snow

I'm back to my habit of early morning, happily! And it's working even though LA is not going into work early. That's what started this habit - I was getting up early with him. 

My goal this week is 15 total miles of run/walk, with 10-12 miles running. After last Saturday's left ankle injury I was hesitant to put a longer run this early in the week, but after realizing that my weekend might be disrupted with travel my plan of a 3+5+4+1.... checking my file in the Drive...

Ooh last week was supposed to be a 15 total miles, but I only reached 12.5. So hmmm.... how do I alter this week for that, cuz now this week was gonna be 18 miles....and I rest next week.... thinking. 

Let's do this: 6 today, 5 Thursday, and 5 Saturday for a total of 16 miles. And run 5+4+4 for a total of 13 running miles. See how it goes. If Saturday feels great, walk another 2 miles to get to 18. That seems like a good plan, since I only ran 11 miles last week. 

Today felt great, I did the first interval as 2 miles, varying the speed from 5.0 to 6.0. The next 3 miles were 1 mile intervals. I really felt the fatigue in the last half mile of the last interval. And a sharp niggle appeared in the left foot. So I slowed wayyyyy down to 4.0 speed. Couldn't bring myself to walk the last 0.2 miles of the interval??!!

So 6 miles is my current "long run". 

The right ankle felt OK, a bit stiff the rest of the day. I'm still noticing that my right and left legs feel different on the treadmill, but I can't pinpoint how or why. Sometimes the left leg feels heavier. 

H100: Set Your House In Perfect Order

Right before leaving for Nashville Turkey Week, I received the registration email from Hennepin. It had my 2019 credit waiting to be used, and now I again had the chance to sign up and prepare.

This isn't the email I had in mind for this - my hands are nervous for some reason, hard to type.

Well anyway, I waited on clicking the Register link until I'd decided that I was mentally ready to commit to this. Not commit to the race, but commit to me. Because until I change me, 2019 can happen all over again. That was hell. 

The pull towards that hell is still there, but the chaos of it is gone. 

So I waited a few days. Did the run in Kenlake and fell, and right after I fell of course I'm mad at myself. And I'm talking out loud to no one but me. Cursing myself. Frustrated and upset and hurt. 

I told myself, that Gawd only left me because I left myself. In 2019, I lost myself and I left myself. As the song goes, I know the pieces fit 'cuz I watched them fall away.

2019 H100 was lost to injury, because of that hell.
2020 H100 was a COVID year, and I was too injured then too, not recovered. Not changed.
2021 H100 was COVID and injury (ankle), and I'm still not recovered. But I'm changing. 

In the midst of my cursing and frustration, I realized - I need to set my house in order.

To finally get to this race, to finally see the start line and before I can even think about the finish line - I need my house in perfect order. 

Balrog 914 days.
Monster 10 days.
Azuc 14 days. 

Still Blerch. Still Sabotage. Still the urge and the desire and the pull. A black hole pit into Moria. 

I've done this maybe a million times. Telling myself - this is it. Back in ...October...?.... I started this "one year thing" and gawd dammit I'm not starting it over, but I'm still on it!

What's next? December. In October I got the habit back of being a gymrat, got my mileage up to a nice 7 miles of running. In November I was up/down on the Moria habits but I kept up and got to 11 miles of running.

December: The goal is 20 miles total a week of walk/run/jog. I don't have a specific run mileage goal yet. 

That's great and all, but what about the rest of it? Keep going. Just keep going, one day at a time. 

Turkey week: As if Gawd had left me....

 Monday RUN 4 miles out of 5, 
     STRENGTH 20 mins of upper
Tuesday ELLIPTICAL 1 hour (this was different shoe day, haha)
     STRENGTH 20 mins of core
Wednesday nothing? 
Thursday RUN most of 5 miles in Kentucky trail, fell!
Friday Does waterpark count as a swim?
Saturday RUN 2 miles of out 2.5 treadmill, up to 6.0!
       SWIM haha maybe 100 yards of play
Sunday again nothing, barely 2500 steps

And when I say 20 mins, I mean 20x 1 minute intervals, with 1-20 seconds of rest. I keep debating, do I say it's a 30 min session when I only did 20 actual minutes? 

Turkey week retrospective, all travel and making the best that I could of it.

One note - I was running in Kenlake Park, planning an easy walk-the-hills 4-5  miler before we started travel again. I'm alone on the trail, light rain and jewel-raindrops on the leaves around me. My mind is tumbling over kids stuff, and the conversation I had with AB and VL the night before. Around 3.5 or 4.5 miles (I forget) in to the run, over absolutely nothing I could see, I tripped and fell. All the way down. Right elbow, right knee, left ankle. 

The stupid part of it, my mind was wandering on how to say something to the kids, and my stupid shit head had a thought of "I felt as if Gawd had left me" (referring to the 2018-2019 era) and I fucking kid you not it was as if Gawd fucking tripped me right at that moment. Shit you now, right then and there. Of course he didn't, but geez if I were him - I woulda tripped me!

Left ankle didn't bruise or swell, but later that night I was outright limping around Opryland and to the Thanksgiving dinner. Thank you Gawd (haha) that the next day it was an almost-nothing minor issue. Today, on Monday, there's a minor niggle on the lateral ankle that is probably some damage. Hopefully I can let it heal, or Gawd will leave me. 

No M 10 days. No Azuc 14 days. None. 

M is out. Azuc is out. Rice had to go out. Turkey is in! Haha.

 Quick summary of last week - 6:05 hours and

SWIM ZERO
BIKE  zero
RUN 10 miles out of 12.6
COMMUTE 21 miles
STRENGTH almost an hour
ELLIPTICAL 2 hours

Nice! All feels good. See title. 

Day of Rest. And end of LA's surgery weeks. Will my routine change? Full Moon day!

Driving to MO today, won't get a workout in. If I'm lucky, I'll get steps. If I'm still lucky, I'll get the short 3 mile run in tomorrow that I "need" for a 13 mile week.

The past 8-ish weeks I've settled into my routine: Up early with LA at 4am, some time with him until he leaves then chores. Around 530 I leave for the gym, I'm there until 7-730, then home for brekkie, shower, dog walk. If I'm on mental and physical schedule, I get to work by 9. If M is here, it's later. Ugh. 

Speaking of which, no M yesterday. Full moon today. And a partial eclipse.

I don't want my schedule to change, I'm into the early-gym thing and want to keep it going. 

Treadmill run 4.2 miles out of 5.4. Garmin says Unproductive!

RUN 4.2 miles in ~1 mile increments with a short rest between, total 5.4 miles
STRENGTH 20 mins of chest, back, arms (20x 1 min exercises)
COMMUTE 7 miles

I looked at the definition of "Unproductive" and instead of meaning just being lazy or junk miling, it can also mean doing way too much? But isn't that Overreaching? Whatevers. Tuesday's run and today's run were pretty similar in pace (about 5.0 mph today) and time and distance. The difference was that I wore the chest HRM today and got ave HR of 124. On Tuesday the run was the wrist HRM.

So I deem the wrist HRM to be the Unproductive partner in this. Not me. 

The run felt great, but a few niggles. The whole left hammie/hip niggle is gone, it came on after a leg strength training session about a month ago and haven't seen it since. But now that mild discomfort at what I would call the place were the plantar tendon attaches to the calcaneal bone. That's just my best way to explain it, that might not be the right thing. Now this isn't new. This hurt earlier this spring the same way - a mild pain now and then - and I feared PF or a stress fracture or a bone spur. I thought the surgery recovery would take care of it. But it's still there, I wouldn't say it bothers me or anything, until it does what it did today. 

Around the end of the 1st mile, it pinged enough that I thought I should walk! I kept it slow, waited, it went away. Now hours later, sitting here, it's fine. Last night going to bed, I was aware of it. And that's where it stands right now. Classic Niggle. 

No other niggles, no other issues. Unless I want to count the fact that the bottoms of my feet hurt lately, and walking barefoot is distinctly uncomfortable. 

Strength session was great! I'm feeling yesterday's core workout this afternoon, and given the shaky feelings I had in today's session I might feel that tomorrow too. I didn't push heavy weights, it was more the repetitive 3-4 minutes of similar exercises that accumulated fatigue. 

As for my feet hurting, I'm doing something like 17-20K steps a day, between elliptical or running and walking through the day. I've been talking a long lunch walk a lot lately. So keep an eye on this! And do I need new shoes for cushioning? My feet don't hurt during the run though. I looked yesterday at Brooks Adrenline 21's and learned that the 22's are coming out "soon". So the 21's might be discounted if I'm patient. 

M0 A1; 4 miles run on treadmill

RUN 4 miles out of 4.5, WU and CD 5 min walks, then short walk between the miles
COMMUTE 7 miles (assuming LA doesn't give me a ride home again

No Azuc yesterday:1
M today yesterday: 0 But no honey. Wraps n mix.

The run felt great, I sped up a little bit to 5.0, a little even at 5.3 mph. My stride rate was great at low 170s. I didn't wear the HRM so I only have wrist data, which means I don't have good data. 

The rest of the day - felt OK, and I didn't feel the run. I just felt the normal tightness I get after sitting awhile. All good!!

Except the M.  

Yesterday: Overreaching. Today: Unproductive. Huh?

ELLIPTICAL 60 mins and 4.3ish miles, higher intensity than previous
STRENGTH 30 mins of core, 20x 1 minute exercises
COMMUTE 7 miles 

While I was waiting for the Connect to update today's workouts, I saw that it graded yesterday as Overreaching. An hour on the treadmill, half commute, and 15 mins of upper strength.

Today, I'm graded as Unproductive, for an hour on the elliptical, 30 mins of core, and (so far) half a commute. Da Fuq, Garmin? haha. Overreaching and Unproductive, not in my vocabulary.

There's a lot of data in the Connect collection, if I were to use it. Some of it seems poorly-defined -- body battery? -- stress? But sleep is good: 7.5-8 hours lately. Steps: getting 20K a day, my daily goal today is 16K (based on last 7 days average plus some). Others I don't track. Hydration. Menstruation. haha

Yesterday was day 2, no Azuc. Today hopefully Day 1 with no M. It's all gone how, to the curb so to speak. 

Been reading about ABoone lately. Thinking about my 9 Bees. Is that future B? I read about how she used to get on an elliptical and "murder it". That was my motivation today!

I reset counter. It was never 170 days. And now it's Zero.

Monday ELLIPTICAL 1 hour
COMMUTE 7 miles, it was cold and wet but not bad at all

I was supposed to do 30 mins upper, but I lost time due to bathroom and Moria. Moria was the pre-I-promised against. 

I had a counter going of a lie, that said about 170. I reset it and cleaned it up. 172-27=145. But now it's only a couple of hours. This way of thinking needs to be stopped. My head can't keep going like this. 30 days of NONE. 

This week is 13 miles total run/walk. 1-2 weeks ago at this distance I did 9.9 run and the rest walking. Stick to that again this week. Put the longer run on Thursday, since this weekend is a travel week. 

So the plan is another 4+4+5 total, with something like a 3+3+3 run. 

Get your head together. Treat yourself like you're someone you're responsible for treating. Get your house in orde. 

Monster Azuc Pendulum

Actual RUN was 7 miles, in a rest week GOOD!

The numerics feel low, I'm still eager to ramp back up to "normal". There is no normal, forget about it. Find the new normal. 

Good week, I was fearing that I did too much last weekend on my "long trail run", as my feets would get painful and tight after not moving for awhile. They'd loosen up, but the pain was a constant reminder. What if I get a stress fracture? What if I break something else? What if...? 

The second run of the week was outdoors around the neighborhood. My sense of distance over time is off, I'd keep expecting the miles to come faster than they were. My brain and body expected the 1-mile lap beep too soon, it's a drag to feel so slow. But I love it anyway. 

I'm dodging the M topic, the A topic, the idiocy of it. Fucking stop. 

Rested the Negativity, but not the M

 Rest day! COMMUTE 7 miles. 

Didn't go to the gym, I stayed home to get stuff done. I managed to finish a letter to mama in Russia and a W&P chapter to the kids. And I found that the gfree muffins were 2x the servings I thought, and M took them from me. I can't read? 

I've been trying to reintroduced rice and gfree bread stuffs. If I don't overdo it, my stomach handles it OK. Too much = gas and cramps. Just enough = a little gas and lotsa 'bulk' each morning! I'm beginning to wonder, if it's not always food that throws my gut off course? I dunno, I just keep trying to figure it out. 

M today got the muffins. Good for him. Bad for me. Last night I tried buckwhead, so did he. But he didn't get much at all. 

M comes back, or tries to. And things need to change.

Monday ELLIPTICAL 30 mins
              STRENGTH 25 mins all upper

             COMMUTE 7 miles

Tuesday ELLIPTICAL 60 mins!

              STRENGTH 25 mins core

             COMMUTE 7 miles

Wednesday TREADMILL RUN 3 out of 4.2 miles, as 4x 0.75mile(0.25) at 4.5 mph

             COMMUTE 7 miles

My feets were still hurting from Saturday's 'long run', not an injury pain but rather a re-adapting fatigue pain, the soreness attributed to having worked a bit too hard. So I reworked the schedule to get an extra day of running rest, and instead of on Tuesday I ran on Wednesday. Then I didn't come into the Weds run with any more of a plan than "keep it easy, only 2 miles". Naturally, when I got there it all felt too good, I was listening to Tool's Fear Inoculum, and decided on running a mile then walking a quarter mile. Then I changed it to 3/4 mile run. Because it's rest week. But I didn't change the pace -- 4.5 mph.  Hold it there awhile. I like this, it feels good and energizing and I'm seriously considering running to work here soon. 

The strength training is paying off too, I notice it on the bike and in how I move throughout the day. I'm stronger, and the workouts don't leave me weak and sore for days. I've bumped up to a 30 minute session (from 20) and since I do it as 60s (20s), it's really a ... 22-23 minutes of actual work. OK maybe 20 minutes of actual work since I skip some of the less-than-fun 60s intervals. I like it, I like how it feels and how it's changing me. 

What I don't like is how after 160 days M keeps popping up, like a mole that needs to be Whacked. Except I don't whack him, I entertain him and feed him. Welcome him and give him space. This needs to change. NOW. 

What also needs to change is the negative dialoging, as it spills over on to LA. I hear criticism in my head of me and of more me and more more me and I redirect it, I think that's what I do, and instead of pointing at me I point at somebody else and it's not going to work that way. Nothing will work that way. Why the critique of me in my head? Why the critique of him? Why critique? 

Set your house in order. 

There are trails right near my house!!

Friday REST
Saturday RUN 4.5 miles out of 5.3, in about 65 mins
Sunday BIKE 10 miles on Liberty with LA

I didn't mean to run 4.5 miles, but I did. I stuck to 0.5 or 1.0 increment intervals, but really meant only 3 miles running and 2 miles walking. But it felt good and I did it and I found some great trail so close to the house in Greenview Park. You didn't even know you were in an urban area, just tall trees with yellow leaves and a soft dirt trail.

I mildly turned the right ankle around mile 3, slight twinge, but it didn't hurt for that. Afterwards both feet had pained tendons and soft tissues, and the medial incision area on the right ankle hurt the most. Here on Monday it still hurts, but it's not an injury. So far so good.

This coming week is a rest week, and instead of running Tues/Thurs I might wait until Weds/Fri to really let this heal and adapt. 

The ride was with LA on his new mountain bike, fresh out of a tune up at REI. What a joy to be able to ride with him, something I've been doing alone for the past few years. 

It was an unseasonably warm weekend, might be our last. And we made the best of it.  

Wasting time at work looking for running routes

Wednesday BIKE 18? miles in 60 mins, indoors
     COMMUTE 7 miles
Thursday RUN 2.7 miles out of 4, as 3 min (1 min) at 4.5mph
     STRENGTH 20 mins up all upper
     COMMUTE 7 miles

I'm feeling good about running again - I'm searching for local races and looking for routes around the house. I'm happy to find a few nature trail type things, not as happy to know they are *only* half a mile from the house. 

Today's treadmill run felt better than Tuesday's, the same interval pattern. My HR didn't drift up in the late intervals, it stayed steady at 133-136. The spm was great in the low 170s. So running at 4.5 mph is great for now, as much as I'd like to speed up, that's not the goal yet. 

I found an April marathon in Toledo, it's penciled in to the calendar. I found a trail race but it might be on the same weekend, and the course is "tough", meaning maybe not favorable to a new ankle. Things might change my then, and the new ankle is just my ankle. 

I modified my upper body strength time to 30 minutes, then skipped a few of the exercises. So it was maybe a 25 minute session? With 20 mins of actual work. Give or take. My arms were weak afterwards! Yes!

LA biked to work to day, and I might get to bike home with him!! I'm looking forward to it, even if we don't get to ride together, I at least got to look forward to the possibility all day :) 

Did not skip core today

TREADMILL 4.0 total, 2.7 miles run as 3 mins @ 4.5 with 1 min rest
STRENGTH 20 mins core
COMMUTE 7 miles

It's getting cold out. 38F this morning on the way to the gym! And the sun doesn't appear until 8:10am, it goes away at 6:27pm. Thought that was bad? Next week it still doesn't come up until 7:10am but then disappears and 5:27pm. UGH.

My goal this week is a total of 13-14 miles of run/walk/jog/etc. I'm still doing indoors because of the dark and because it keeps me going slower. I'd speed up otherwise. I'm eager to get to 5.0 mph. But right now it feels good at 4.5 and my spm rate is super great at 168-174! My HR seems too high though for the effort, another reason to keep it easy?

And while running today the fears of getting a stress fracture or other did-it-too-fast injury came back in my head. It all feels so good right now, but when that niggle appears it's crushing. 

The run felt great, and the ankle was a little stiff/sore later. But not in an injured sort of way. The core workout was something I almost talked myself out of. I'd showed up 'late' to the gym, 15 mins off my schedule, but I'd built in extra time so I kept to it. Geez, that woulda been two days in a row that I avoided something. And then when I'm done, I realize that my "20 min" workout is really 15 minutes, because 1 min (20s) means 15 1-minute intervals and 14 20-second rests. While I'm happy to say "only 20 minutes" because it's so doable, I either need to up the energy in these sessions or lengthen them. Happily, I don't get so sore as I did the first two weeks. But am I not sore because I'm adapting or because I'm not working?!

I did the math - 30 minutes would be 22.5 sets. Fixing....a 30 second rest would give 20 full sets. And that would be my "20 minute session"!

-------

I set up 9 goals yesterday to help highlight some spots that need fixing in the day. I love checking boxes, this is just another way to do it. So far today - nailing it. 

November goals

ELLIPTICAL 30 mins 2.2 miles
STRENGTH upper body, 20 minutes
ROWING because I avoided the pool, 20 mins
COMMUTE 7 miles in my new red coat

I woke up with goals and immediately failed them. That's not to say November is shot, but more that just saying I want to do something doesn't always mean it will happen. Sucks.

"Treat yourself like someone you were responsible for helping"

I got stuff done this morning before leaving for the gym but it included nom'ing the fig/almond cake (that will certainly upset my stomach later) and then nom'ing egg whites 'because the book said to eat some protein' and then at the gym my stomach was still growling. 

I skipped the pool, I'm now twice rejecting a swim, and rowed instead. I came home cold and hungry and instead of a shower I nom'ed M1 standing at the counter. Then nom'd something else, then a late shower, then a cold walk, then more nom'ing. Didn't go good. I'm too full now, and do I really need lunch? I'm craving salt and I'm thirsty. And I was avoiding going back out into the cold - 37F this morning! 

So here I am looking at November goals and I see yet another need for check lists and boxes? Yup. I came up with 8 goals for each day - 8 check point goals to keep me from doing this morning all over again. Will it work? I dunno. 

I'm also committing to getting back to what I call HA-Era Bee. I know what that means, it means 8. Only 8!! 90 Days. Go!!!

LA has new bikes! End of October: mileage goals met

Friday rained out and too busy of a day
Saturday busy day and missed a ride opportunity
Sunday: RUN 4 miles on treadmill, extended to 3 minute intervals. Run was 2.4 miles
BIKE 5 miles with LA on his new MTB bike

WEEK NUMERICS 4:43 hours (excludes commute time)
SWIM 0
BIKE 5.03 miles
RUN 12 miles, as walk 5.1 and run 6.9
COMMUTE 21 miles
STRENGTH 40 minutes
ELLIPTICAL 30 mins

I finally recovered by the end of the week, feeling back to normal energy-wise. But my gut is still hair-sensitive and I'm not happy with how it feels. I'm also not happy with the emotional wreck it makes me into. Grocery shopping makes me anxious, meals out are avoided, and I feel a sense of being left out lately. So at WholeFoods Saturday I bought some GF bread, mixes, etc to add those into my routine. I'm wondering if I'm in the so-called mid-lands of carb amounts: Not low enough to be keto yet not high enough for fueling. So I'm adding in more fruit and some of these foods if they work. 

I tried a few things (too much, I admit, the mixes are a shit headed M idea) and ended up with gut cramps by the end of the day and through Sunday. One serving! Only!

We shopped at REI on Saturday - I got a bright brick red rain coat like I've been wanting (the rain coat part, not necessarily the red) and LA got cycling shoes and bibs. Lotsa money -- oof -- but the gear lasts for years for me. Then we took LA's new bike and Puppy out to Liberty for a ride, only 5 miles (chilly wind and a kids call took the warmth out of me) but it was great to have someone to ride with. He was a bit testy during the ride not sure if it was the phone call or something I did or both (he blamed me for it) but I still enjoyed it