The 2015 Songlist

As with previous lists, I don't pick these. They pick me. They are songs that played on the radio, inspired me at the moment, played over and over or at key moments, and the like. Not every song makes it, but enough for me to remember the year, the races, and what happened.

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson "I'll spread my wings; And I'll learn how to fly". My 2015 year started off with a major mind-fuck blindside life change. 'Nuff said on that. But this stupid pop song was stuck in my head while walking the dog, running, sleeping, ugh. Then it seemed to always pop up on the radio. So it made the list, like it or not.

Solitude by Nina Simone "With gloom everywhere; I sit and I stare; I know that I'll soon go mad". In early March my back started spasming again. Running was the thing keeping me going, and suddenly running was painful and scaring me a bit. I think I was getting depressed -- I was coaxing myself to do the simplest of tasks. I was mentally cracking, and only barely realizing it.

Runnin' Down A Dream by Tom Petty "I felt so good like anything was possible". The Kettle Moraine 100 song. I had this in my head before I'd even registered. And the morning of the race, while packing bags at the hotel, I played this off the phone.

Rehab by Amy Winehouse "They tried to make me go to rehab and I said No, No, No". Once my back problems were diagnosed I spent a few months making the trip to West County for rehab. Although the PT itself I didn't mind, I was losing time so fast, just didn't have any extra to spare between all the life stress and realty errands. So I told Dr M 'no more, at least for now'. I needed to focus on healing the rest of me.

Set Fire To The Rain by Adele "But there's a side to you; That I never knew, never knew; All the things you'd say; They were never true, never true". Heard this in a waiting room and it stuck in my head for a while. Gotta have at least one rain song on the list! And the quoted lyrics fit.

Fight Song by Rachel Platten "But there's a fire burning in my bones; Still believe; Yeah, I still believe."  TH sent me this song. At first it was too sappy, eventually it won me over. It's still a sappy pop rock ballad though.

Just A Girl by No Doubt "What I've succumbed to is making me numb" A song for me and poor Sugar, who had just come home from her lengthy ICU visits in a full body wrap with scars from tubes and wires and surgeries. My life had turned into a roller coaster whirlwind and it was all I could do to just hang on and hope it ended soon.

Sabotage by Beastie Boys "So while you sit back and wonder why; I got this fucking thorn in my side". This came on the list in September, right around the height of my buy a house, sell a house, get ready for hip biopsy STRESS. I was picking up old habits that were only hurting me. Not The Monster, but definitely bad.

I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty "And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down; Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down". Ugh. Disney shit. 'Nuff said.

Ain't Worth The Whiskey by Cole Swindell "I don't care that you done me wrong; 'Cause I've already moved on". Late addition, needed more country music. Removed 'cuz he ain't worth space either.

My Girl by The Temptations "I've got so much honey the bees envy me". My sweet dog, my Sugar/Shuggah/Shoogie/Fitty-Pound bag of long-eared love. She was put aside to some degree over the past few months and I wasn't paying as much attention as she deserved. And then at the end of it all she's still what I look forward to upon coming home, still wagging her tail no matter how stressed and short-tempered I get.

Fit But You Know It by The Streets "Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit; But my gosh don't you just know it". A late addition to the list, putting it in 2015 even though I heard it in the first days of 2016. New to me, but from 2004! The TJM podcast played it on one of my runs through TGP. The bouncy beat was the perfect run tempo, I laughed with it, and even though Urban Dictionary tells me the word meanings aren't what they seem on the surface, I'm keeping it 'cuz it makes me smile.

2015 Christmas to New Year's Ketchup Post

Thursday Christmas Eve: RUN 6.6 miles in about 54 mins
Saturday RUN 6 miles in about 50 minutes

And that's about it! Lots to say, probably won't get to it all.

Thursday, Run then drop off dog and head to Illinois!
Friday, Xmas
Saturday, Dad's bday and a 6 mile run to the school and back. Cold eastern wind!
Sunday, JD Pavilion for Dad's Bday
Monday, morning visit with Jess then winter storm canceled B-I-L's bday dinner
Tuesday, furniture shopping and canceled family photos
Wednesday, Brekkie with Feuchts then ice storm, delayed drive to STL, tummy buildup problem.
Thursday, terrible tummy upset accumulated from about 6 days! Missed work and run
Friday, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Still some tummy trouble but I'm not worried about it.

Regarding nutrition -- this was probably the best vacation and restaurant-laden week I've had ever? Aside from the issues noted, no specific symptoms or problems. In fact, my fat-adapted state let me miss meals instead of forcing food and kept me even keel.

Training was minimal. Oh well!

Still undecided on what to do about gluten challenge.

But feeling good and ready for 2016. :) And yes, I know I need to get my 2015 summary and book taken care of.

Christmas full moon

Shoulder work ahead!

RUN 3 miles in 26 mins, first 2 miles as fast/easy each block

This run was in 59F weather with RAIN! Short warm up then switch each block from fast to rest. Ran to Grand and back, then looped the park to cool down. I should go back and see what my intervals were at, because the last quarter mile was plyos and I still had a good overall time. 

Well I (finally) have my MRI diagnosis: brachial nerve injury, maybe a neuritis. A branch of this nerve goes to the supra-inspinatus and infraspinatus muscles. The nerve damage led to paralysis and atrophy, hence the still weak arm. All the MRI showed was what looked like a change in the muscle density. The pain is mostly gone, more of a case of the damned thing won't move! Or I just get a penguin arm when I do try! LOL.

Dr M said it was a "unique" injury and seemed excited to show me the MRI and explain it. No wonder I like this guy. And he opens the appt by showing me his newly machined bike fork! :)

As disappointing another injury is, I'm OK with this. It's not torn or broken. It's frustrating to not have a cause, he said it was acute but can't say exactly what caused it. He said sometimes it's a brachial neuritis caused by a respiratory infection (even though I was asymptomatic at the time). Could also be a bad twinge, bad lift of something,. ...?  Unknown.

Either way. See him again in 3-4 weeks. Rest it another 4 weeks. No swimming for maybe 6 weeks because the compensation and pressure would not be good for it. Start PT when I can. Heather, I'm baaaaccckk!!!

Solstice five miler -- fasted!

RUN 5 miles in 50 mins, near end of a fast.
BIKE COMMUTE 5 miles from Chevy dealership

I did a solstice fast and actually managed a run near the end! Slow, but done. The fast was interesting, I'll definitely do it again. Wasn't as hard as I thought it would be? Really helped that I spend the evening walking with RM, CM, Daisy, and Shoogie to see xmas lights.

Mouse surgeries that afternoon, great energy and mental clarity!

Two a day weekend

RUN 10 miles in 1:32 with TV in Queeny 9:12 pace on hills and grass
RUN 1.7 miles in 15 mins with RM 9:01 pace

Oh yeah I'm breaking more rules. This week brings me to a total of 25.4 miles (I had to check the numbers repeatedly for my week total!), so not only am I up'ing frequency and mileage, I'm up'ing frequency per day.

And it feels GREAT!

The QP run was my first "trail" run and the first real test of hills in my recovery. There were no problems, minimal if any pain, great energy, and a fast finish as what TV called 10K pace. We ran some new areas (for me, anyway) of grass and meadow, explored some horse trails, and took hills. So the 9:12 pace doesn't reflect those meanderings :)

Happily he didn't check his new phone for messages during the run -- cuz if he had seen the text about his house being under contract during the run I would have had to run even faster :)

Dropped TV off, ran to Walgreen's and errands, and saw a text from RM asking if I wanted to join for his 15 min run. I was still in running clothes, somewhat refueled on coconut chips and string cheese, so why not!? It was totally worth it -- to see how excited RM was about his 9:01m/m run!

We're both making a strong comeback :)

I thought for sure that on Sunday I'd need a few miles to round up to 25 miles, but after checking, checking, and checking again - nope! I'm good!

I almost drove in?!

BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles
DRIVING 0 miles

Geezus Louizus it's 31F outside and I nearly cave in to driving?! Admittedly, it was a whimsy type of thought that fluttered across the brain after I walked the dog. It didn't last long, but it was tempting. What talked me out of it was the fact that I'd spend more time driving+walking than I would just biking.

In the end, I biked. And it felt good. But cold! I tried my new lobster gloves (or should I call them my 'live long and prosper' Vulcan gloves?), my finger tips got cold. I wasn't expecting them to be warm by any means, but at the least that they would be warmer than my other gloves.

Dr office just confirmed I do have the DQ2 gene. Now I want to know how many copies I have, whether family should be tested, and whether I should do a gluten challenge.

On that last question, here's my rationale. Things won't change much if I do have the disease, I'll be more careful about exposures. But if it's NOT celiac causing my vitamin deficiencies then what is it? And what about my gut reactions to the common gluten cross-reactive foods (for me that includes coffee, oats, potato, corn, rice, chocolate, tapioca, etc)? Is is cross reactivity or SIBO/SCD? Again, it's not so much that I miss eating these foods but rather that I need to understand what's going on.

But do I really want to try re-introducing gluten for up to 3 months at the top of my training season? Heck, nothing might happen and I might learn that gluten isn't a problem! Or I have symptoms that are attributed to FODMAPs. In that case, it would be worth it for me to find the carbohydrate-free version of wheat gluten so that I only eat the gluten protein. More researching....found that vital wheat gluten is almost starch free. So that would be something to consider.

Factors to consider:
Pro challenge: 
1. Mom, gpa?, great-gma, and great aunt all reported to have symptoms. Am I just the next in line? Or is just just vague symptoms?
2. Something is causing my vitamin D deficiency and symptoms
3. Sometimes I just gotta KNOW
4. I have been sloppier about potential cross contaminations in the past year or so (however endoscopy and antibodies are negative)
5. And why do I react to some of the common gluten cross-reaction foods, including coffee, oats, potato, corn, rice? Is it the starches or a cross-reaction?

Con challenge:
1. I've been having symptoms while on a gluten free diet, from terrible gut symptoms in 2014 and including the deficiency
2. Eliminating FODMAP and SCD starches improved things, so maybe it was SIBO (how does that impact absorption of vitamins?)
3. Clinical reviews seem to suggest that not all CD adults revert after being gluten free, in that the challenge might need to go on a longer time for antibodies to appear. Although the appearance of intraepithelial lymphocytes is reportedly rapid. But that requires another endoscopy.


And more waiting as I wait for the office to call back with answers. And I see Dr M next Weds about the MRI. Wish I could at least get a verbal explanation between now and then.

Fast and Full FoPa Loop!!!!

RUN 6.6 miles in a squeak under 54 mins  8:11m/m pace!
BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles

Brrrrrrr 34F this morning. And cloudy, so not much hope to bump that up much.

Awesome run this morning. Two new people. Forgot my lights. DC was there! EW and I ran the first two miles (she left to finish her blueberry muffins) then DT and I finished the loop a few mins ahead of the rest. I brought kombucha and kefir for everyone to try, nice totally unplanned coordination with the muffins!

The hip feels great, minor discomfort if anything. The shoulder is tired and sore I think from how I hold it when running. And the right shoulder is not far behind and feels similar.

Call Me Back DAMMIT! Still waiting to hear from my doctors!

DQ2 is present. "So I guess it's business as usual."

BIKE COMMUTE 9.5

I was going to do a trainer ride, then I was going to ride outside, then I did nothing. I had a dental appt in the morning that threw my schedule off. I was happy enough to drive back home so I could at least bike in to work. Another pretty day, gotta milk these while I can.

I've been waiting for days for test results. For the MRI of my shoulder, for the appeals process in the bone prescription, and especially for my celiac genetics and endoscopy results. Typically the health log program emails me when changes are made so I haven't been checking the site. I checked yesterday and found results!

The Interpretation says DQ2 is Present, but DQ8 is not. It seems the results are not the complete version? I've been Google'ing and PubMed'ing these allele infos trying to learn more. Left a message with the doctor's office but they haven't called me back yet.

From what I understand 95% of celiacs have the DQ2 gene. And 30-34% of the population has the gene, but only 3% develop the disease. So as of now, I just have the gene. Or so I think. Do my recent symptoms add up to meaning I have CD? Unfortunately, my antibody and endoscopy results show nothing. Or is that fortunate. Either way. Because I'm gluten free already, those tests won't show anything.

I'm anxious to answer so many questions! Call Me Back!

I had lunch with TV, our Weds ritual. When I told him result, he shrugged and pretty much summed it up for me. Not much is going to change because I have this information. Not like I need to go gluten free!

Starting to plan my new run commute

RUN 5.1 miles in 46 minutes, 8:59m/m pace
BIKE COMMUTE

This morning's run was going to be a 4.5 miler, but oops. Damn it felt good. I went west to Comp, north to the Heights, loop the heights, then off to Russell to MO, then south to home. Love seeing my old run routes again :)

The run felt great, my hip is a discomfort, not a pain. My left shoulder is still weak and I'm noticing that after a run there's a muscle that's ... what's the word...tight? across the top...not to trapezius, but maybe the supraspinatus muscle? It feels deeper than the surface and feels like it's nestled in the bones. Google Doc says supraspinatus. Still waiting to hear the MRI results! Call me back dammit!

I think I'm ready to start planning my run commute, and thinking about it reminds me of that brain puzzle about how the farmer can get a fox, a chicken, and a bag of feed across the river in his boat without the fox eating the chicken or the chicken eating the feed. Something like....take the fox and the feed across, then go back for the chicken bringing the ...wait gotta think...bringing the fox, then get the chicken and leave the fox, drop off the chicken on the other side then go back for the fox and the feed. Right? I think so.

Anyway, I'm not sure I can put a 9.5 miler on Wednesdays just yet. I'm following my personal rule of picking between distance, intensity, frequency improvements. I'm working on distance and doing great. Adding a 2-fer on Weds increases the frequency. I initially thought about biking in/running home on a Tuesday, then running in/biking home the next day. But there's also the possibility of running Monday, skipping Tuesday, commuting Wednesday, running Thursday. I think it's all the same in the end!

Puddle Jumping

RUN 2 miles in 18 minutes
BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles

Woke up to more rain, and my only concern was that it wouldn't taper off as forecasted by commute time. I took the anxious doggie for a short walk before the run, the west wind make it unpleasant! So added a hat and gloves before heading out for a run. I did some of the pre-run stretches I learned on Saturday from RM, but certainly not the prescribed 40 mins!

The run was great. 50F, rain, west wind, still dark out at 6-6:30am. The rain let up after the first half mile or so. Oh, and it's 1 mile between Grand and Jeff. Still mapping out my standard routes from the new place.

The gray skies held on until commute time, as I rolled out the west sky was showing blue. By the time I got to the TGP/MoBot corner, I had full sunshine :) It didn't last all day, but it was great while it lasted.

No news yet on the MRI or other medical tests. Called and left a message with Dr M so that could change here shortly. The patient record from the appt (not the MRI) said incomplete tear of rotator cuff!

Was Gonna Bike. Didn't.

Nuttin.

I did go to a pool for the first time since...February?! January?! I was at  the WHP pool for a Club clinic.

I was gonna ride the Puppy maybe on the Katy after the clinic but instead it was raining. A plan change left me bringing the dog (the 4-legged one) and running errands until early afternoon. Once home I needed to work on my weekly cookup. I knew by about 2pm that I wasn't getting a ride in.

On the plus side, I finally made it to REI to get new reflector gear, and to Big Shark to get better winter gloves. I was gonna order bar mits, but Bill the nice salesman talked me into trying lobster gloves.

Happily, it's too warm outside to need the gloves! It was a nice rainy day, never really heavy, always gray.

NUMERICS!
RUN 20.5 miles

Big TEN!

RUN 10 miles in 1:37

YES! I'm getting back to normal! I wake up, I run. It feels good!

I wasn't planning on a full 10 miles. My weekly goal was a total of 20 miles so all I needed was 9.5. And I wasn't really planning on that either. I went out the door without water or fuel. I can do 10 miles unfueled, but water is generally a good idea.

I set out heading towards MoBot and TGP, carrying only a letter for Jess that I needed to mail. And I knew there was a mailbox on Shenandoa :)  Dropped that off, then headed through the old neighbor hood to the Heights, then MoBot.

Almost everyday on my commute home I pass the section along the MoBot that I frequently ran before I moved. And it has become a habit to lament the fact that I haven't run there in some time. Well, FIXED THAT! I did my favorite CCW loop around the MoBot, including the Gringo Jones bonus loop. Then to TGP, then home on side streets.

I came near the house around 8-some miles and decided to keep going. Would be awful hard to log the mileage to come up short of the goal 20, and I couldn't guarantee that I'd run tomorrow.

How did it feel? Pretty bonkers in the last mile. The hip didn't hurt much during or after -- that's great news. But my left shoulder was bothering me later, I kept using it and I think running has me 'holding' it even if I'm not using it.

Fog. And RAIN.

BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles

My bike commute is really somewhere between 9.5 and 10. How am I gonna add this up in the end? Round up?

No news on all the stuff I'm waiting on: endoscopy, HLA tests, MRI, insurance benefits for prescription, and disney. Oh, I can say that court was delayed because we have a tentative agreement!

Walking the doggie this morning was pretty-- a fog was settling in and I'm pretty sure it got deeper as we walked. It's so amazingly warm out (60F as I write this!). On my commute in, water was dripping from my helmet and I had to take my sunglasses off because they fogged up.

Anxious and unfocused all day -- I'm pretty much all the symptoms of HALT. Angry. Lonely. Tired. And Hungry! Great combo! But I'm able to apply a new technique for all this that arrived in my inbox today: RAIN.

Recognize what is going on;

Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;

Investigate with interest and care;

Nourish with self-compassion.

Thrusday loop with EW and MRI

RUN 6 miles in about 57 mins
BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles

So wonderful to be back in the Thursday morning run. When I have a morning workout I stay moving, focused, and forward. See yesterday for what happens when I don't have a workout!

Still unseasonably warm, 50F today for the run! EW and I ran most of a loop. She's recovering from an ankle injury, we thought we'd cut short at the zoo, then the Jewel Box, then finally just cut out the dinos and the bridge bonus. Didn't think I'd hit 6 miles but I did!

Gorgeous morning, with 3 bright planets in view to the southeast. A colorful sunrise of pink and blue and yellow. And chatting with EW :) Haven't seen her in a while.

Then walk the doggie, then my shoulder MRI. I selected country music for the headphones but in the end just listening to the magnets would have been enough. I closed my eyes, and just meditated. The technician happily showed my images and briefly covered some anatomy. Then a brief grocery stop, then a shower, then the rest of brekkie, then a commute to work. I was happily overdressed :)

Then phone calls while analyzing yesterday's PCR results. Trying to get disney sorted out, trying to figure out prescription assistance and insurance coverage. Trying to stay calm and positive, waiting for MRI results, CD genetics results, endoscopy results, benefits office to call, and I'm sure there's more!

So I might be able to add more later to here....we'll see!

WasGonna Bike

BIKE COMMUTE 9.5 miles

My original plan was to bike on the trainer early in the morning. I woke up, got busy futzing in the kitchen, and convinced myself that I'd ride during my PCR this afternoon. The weather is unseasonably warm, so why ride indoors?

In the end I didn't ride at all. Only the commute. Just didn't feel like it. My head is busy with shoulder, gut, work, and disney. While biking is usually a relief from the mental tumble, it just didn't happen today.

Back on Tuesday schedule, Dr M appt

RUN 43 mins and 4.5 miles
No commute had to drive

Woke up and did my usual 4-5 mile Tuesday run, it felt great! I ran west then north into the old neighborhood. Kinda fun to see my old running grounds again. The hip hurt a bit, and hurt afterward, but not terrible and no limping like before.

After that an appt with Dr M for a follow up on shoulder and questions on hip. The hip part is easiest: run what you can tolerate, no major damages indicated, just need time. The shoulder however...

Lots of weaknesses in the shoulder, even though the pain is more of a bad 'discomfort'. A few tests suggested a partial tear in the supraspinatus or the infraspinatus. He doesn't think a full tear because I do have controlled motion, it's just weak.

Nuts. So an MRI is scheduled for Thursday.

Endoscopy

Sunday BIKE 45 mins on trainer
Monday endoscopy

Did a mid-distance trainer ride even though I really wanted to run. But as per my rule and goal, don't layer on back-to-back runs just yet. Maybe next week ;) Heck I'm already scheming about how and when I can start incorporating run commutes to work.

Mom came down on Sunday to help me with the endoscopy recovery. So Sunday and Monday (aside from the procedure) were wonderfully relaxing and chill.

The endoscopy was like it never happened. No throat pain or discomfort at all. I was woozy afterwards for a few hours but otherwise normal. Initial report from the doc is 'everything looks normal, wait for the pathology report'.

In other news, my celiac antibodies are all normal, as expected. The genetics aren't back yet, but I expect they'll be normal too.

Whoop 6.5 miles!

RUN 6.5 miles in just under 60 mins, ave 9:12m/m

Yahoo! This felt great and is the farthest I've run since before the hip biopsy in mid Sept. And it felt OK afterwards too, no limping or bad pains like the past few weeks.

This puts me at 15 miles for this week. 

Thursday group run!!

RUN 4.5 miles in about 40 mins? Didn't watch time
COMMUTE 9.5 miles

Yahoo I did the Thursday group run! I cut short at the zoo with LC, I voiced this out loud and told the group to kick me out at the point. It's only 2 miles to finish the loop, that's a great goal to work for.

Everything felt great for the run. My hip pain/discomfort is pretty minimal. My back is tight and didn't feel 100% however. And just now in the afternoon my left hammies are talking. They feel tight. Hope that's all!

Yesterday I saw a GI doctor about my issues. Tests are ongoing.

They paved the path in FoPa!

RUN 4 miles in 34:44 another sub-9!
COMMUTE 9.5 miles

Whoop another 4 miler and I'm feeling good so far. This was a stressed/bored/can't-think midday run. LOTS on my mind.

Have a GI appt tomorrow. Yesterday they said they were scheduling for May, and this morning they called with an opening. This really has me thinking! Summarizing my history, wondering what tests to have run, and wondering what those results will show! And change for me?

Waiting on a Disney call. Honestly, this is pretty low on my stress list though.

Blocked a problem that resurfaced a few weeks ago. It was just getting to f'ing WEIRD.

Called the Bone Clinic to ask about follow up results and the bone biopsy procedure, that upcoming appt with Dr M is on my mind (not until next week) because of the somewhat constant shoulder and hip issues.

And Dad had his surgery today.

So my mind was full. This causes a distracted mental state in me, when I have so much to get done that I can't get done but I can't do much else until it's done. Hahaha, but I'm getting this done! Admittedly, I'm waiting on something, so this is a good time to focus.

The run felt great, thinking I'll join the Thursday run this week for the shorter 4-5 mile loop! And I realized that I can plan a run to work soon, it's 4.5 miles and I can take the Metro home?

And I'm pulling out the 50 miler training plan to overlay on the calendar, and opening calendars to see what's out there. While driving to and from for Turkey day, I got in the mood for 70.3's so if I want to do that an early 50 miler would fit the schedule. Whoop!