RUN TRAILS 3.1 miles in 36 mins. I was going to rest the weekend, planned maybe an indoor spin or a swim depending on how much work I could get done. But then SO offered a ride in Rockwoods, each at our own paces. WHOOOP!
It was 36F. Yeah, I wasn't supposed to be doing this due the cold. Seriously, does that apply to ME? No. lol.
By the time I got back to the house from work, I'd decided a run would be better. I have warmer run clothes, so if the cold is the issue this would prevent it. Oh the things I tell myself...
SO layered up and took off, and I started with a short walk. Short. It didn't last long. Soon enough I saw gravel and my inner voice went "gravel..." and well that was that. I was jumping up to hit tree branches, jumping on rocks, and smiling. Ooooohhh I'M BACK!!!
Last time I was hear was hiking with SO, back in ... May? Nope June 10th. LOL. I passed landmarks and couldn't help but smile. Like the base of the stairs...Who woulda thunk? Not me. :X
I certainly didn't stick to my HR goals on purpose. My excuse was that I needed to watch the time so I could be back at the car on time. I mostly walked the uphills, ran the flats, and bombed the downhills. YAY! My new Cascadias need more of this, they feel great and they want more trail too.
My HR was high, but it really does look like cadence lock. Oh the things I tell myself. But no, seriously, it does.
No pains afterwards. From running anyways :X
However the next day, Dec 31st as in today, I've had a few moments of throat tightness or soreness (wouldn't go so far as "pain") and now that I'm aware of it I'm focusing on chest signals too. Who's to say my rib cage isn't tired from running? So I watch. And get internal-mental defensive when I feel it. And a bit scared. I'll admit.
Monday, December 31, 2018
End of 2018!
What a year. Jeezus Fucking Christ what a year. Back to running after hip surgery with PT all summer into my first triathlon in 4 years, then a heart attack sequence on Labor Day weekend. As of now on the 31st, I'm back to running and planning a swim.
My goals for 2018 were to return to running and racing. To get back to my long distance training. I was getting there. Then my goals changed.
When the year started I was keto and experimented with carni keto. I'm not sure this worked for me, as I look back and recall lots of fatigue and heaviness that isn't present now. As of now, I'm 99% plant based, no longer keto but still relatively low carb.
My total cholesterol in Sept was 460, 360-ish LDL. In December, after a month of tapering into plant based and the injected Repath, it was 89. As in, the total was 89. LDL was 11! With permission I'm stopping the Repatha and continuing the plant-based until Feb when I'm tested again. The goal is to stay OFF the drugs.
My recent visit on the 21st with a nutritionist didn't go well. This is not the nutritionist I met with in November. She first said a multivitamin "doesn't really do anything for you", then said that I should drink rice milk "because it's fortified". Why do people get so hung up on drinking milk? She set some goals for the next visit in February -- eat 3oz of chicken a day (why?!), etc etc. I was upset about this and it showed in the ave HR for the run that day (I just realized that might explain the high HR for that rehab run lol). But I felt better after realizing that it's not like she's following me and tracking me. Duh, I can report back anything as long as I'm healthy.
Later that day I had my annual bone scan. Significant decrease in the lumbar, but significant increase in the hip/femur. So I guess that's a wash? My vitamin D came back at 66, a WIN as I stopped the prescription D2 in May and went OTC instead. Ironically, this costs me more but whatever I feel like it's a win. No other suggestions or changes from bone doc. Good, because this annoys me every year.
I gave oatmeal on honest try -- instant or rolled or steel cut, whether microwaved, soaked overnight, or fermented (yes, fermented) upset my stomach. It sat heavy and a few times came back up. Felt much better after that! Next I'm trying millet, so far so good.
WTF is it about oatmeal? Dunno, it's got FODMAPs but this is a more severe/different problem. I've been picking up any veg*n book from the library and one book that I almost returned unread has my attention. I've been through the Furhman, the Engine 2, the this, and the that. But this is my first reading on lectins in the diet. And as it turns out there's a list of foods I should be able to eat but react badly too: corn, oats, peanuts, sunflower seeds included. These cause a lot of pain, heaviness, reflux. As it turns out, these are high lectin foods! What ?! Is that a clue? Millet is lectin free, hence that test.
So now I'm reading more, learning, wondering, not sure. Seems like another faddish thing. But starting tomorrow I'm going to give it a go, following the Phased plan from the book. If it seems like a bogus science project, I ditch it. But I should try it. It really only changes a few things for me. Like nightshades for one.
And I'm looking at buying an Instant Pot! I tried mom's over the xmas break and the lectin book says pressure cooking breaks down the lectins. But that's an expensive test!
More later. Nah never mind. Quit thinking on the past and L'Audace. Toujours, l'audace.
My goals for 2018 were to return to running and racing. To get back to my long distance training. I was getting there. Then my goals changed.
When the year started I was keto and experimented with carni keto. I'm not sure this worked for me, as I look back and recall lots of fatigue and heaviness that isn't present now. As of now, I'm 99% plant based, no longer keto but still relatively low carb.
My total cholesterol in Sept was 460, 360-ish LDL. In December, after a month of tapering into plant based and the injected Repath, it was 89. As in, the total was 89. LDL was 11! With permission I'm stopping the Repatha and continuing the plant-based until Feb when I'm tested again. The goal is to stay OFF the drugs.
My recent visit on the 21st with a nutritionist didn't go well. This is not the nutritionist I met with in November. She first said a multivitamin "doesn't really do anything for you", then said that I should drink rice milk "because it's fortified". Why do people get so hung up on drinking milk? She set some goals for the next visit in February -- eat 3oz of chicken a day (why?!), etc etc. I was upset about this and it showed in the ave HR for the run that day (I just realized that might explain the high HR for that rehab run lol). But I felt better after realizing that it's not like she's following me and tracking me. Duh, I can report back anything as long as I'm healthy.
Later that day I had my annual bone scan. Significant decrease in the lumbar, but significant increase in the hip/femur. So I guess that's a wash? My vitamin D came back at 66, a WIN as I stopped the prescription D2 in May and went OTC instead. Ironically, this costs me more but whatever I feel like it's a win. No other suggestions or changes from bone doc. Good, because this annoys me every year.
I gave oatmeal on honest try -- instant or rolled or steel cut, whether microwaved, soaked overnight, or fermented (yes, fermented) upset my stomach. It sat heavy and a few times came back up. Felt much better after that! Next I'm trying millet, so far so good.
WTF is it about oatmeal? Dunno, it's got FODMAPs but this is a more severe/different problem. I've been picking up any veg*n book from the library and one book that I almost returned unread has my attention. I've been through the Furhman, the Engine 2, the this, and the that. But this is my first reading on lectins in the diet. And as it turns out there's a list of foods I should be able to eat but react badly too: corn, oats, peanuts, sunflower seeds included. These cause a lot of pain, heaviness, reflux. As it turns out, these are high lectin foods! What ?! Is that a clue? Millet is lectin free, hence that test.
So now I'm reading more, learning, wondering, not sure. Seems like another faddish thing. But starting tomorrow I'm going to give it a go, following the Phased plan from the book. If it seems like a bogus science project, I ditch it. But I should try it. It really only changes a few things for me. Like nightshades for one.
And I'm looking at buying an Instant Pot! I tried mom's over the xmas break and the lectin book says pressure cooking breaks down the lectins. But that's an expensive test!
More later. Nah never mind. Quit thinking on the past and L'Audace. Toujours, l'audace.
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Last half of December
Another rolling update post, since dedicating an entire post to my short days would just eat up paper.
Rested the weekend of Dec 15-16, no training and all work. Oooh and a Blues game Friday night! I was worried about being cold, not so bad. Thankfully he patiently explained the game, otherwise I would have been too fascinated (well I was still fascinated but at least able to follow the game) with how the ice is cooled, how the zamboni works, and how the ref's do their signaling. Happy to say, I wasn't "lost" on the game itself.
Tried oatmeal Sat and Sun, at SO's encouragement. And milk! Oof, not great.
Monday Dec 17th, I was up'd to 5.4 mph for 10 min, interval and rest intervals not specified. So I mapped out a 5 mins 3.0 WU, a 5 mins 3.5 more WU, then 4x 5.4 mph for 10 mins (RI: 3.5 mph for 2.5 mins). This added up to a wonderful 3.6 mile RUN! And also my 2 mile commute from Fo Pa.
I asked Marsha about how my low blood pressure (they read 80ish/50ish at rest; 90ish/60ish in RI) might impact my running. Will I be slow to bust up a hill or have a burst of speed? Slower to recover? More sensitive to temperature and hydration? She will ask.
Tuesday only my 2 mile bike commute. WasGonna swim. Didn't. I re-activated my YMCA membership in late November with the best of intentions (aren't they all?) for December but have yet to get there. So if'n's I get a swim in before the end of the year, it'll be a $42 swim. Ugh.
Wednesday RUN 3.7ish miles! I was told to do the same workout at Monday, they haven't yet discussed moving me up more, so once I realized that no one was really looking at the numbers on the treadmill I snuck it up to 5.5 mph in the second and third interval, then up to 6.0 in the last one. SHHHHHHH don't tell anyone! LOL! My Garmin didn't accurately pick up the HR in the last interval, it kept reading 125-129 and that didn't feel right. Marsha said I got upwards of 150s. Still under my 160 bpm limit.
Friday the 21st, again 4 intervals of 10 mins at 5.4 mph. Marsha was out for holiday, but another rehab peep said next week I get to do 5.6 mph. And for the first time in rehab, I put my foot down and said "no, that's not real running". I explained that running is intervals and surges and terrain and hills and stoplights. That if they really wanted to test the heart, this had to progress faster. I think I have only a few more weeks of this, then I'm done. We'll see what happens when I get back.
Rested the weekend. Worked mostly.
On Monday rehab was closed for the holiday so I went to the gym. My first appearance since the SCAD! My friend/aquaint who is always smiling and saying hi and high-5'ing peeps was near the door and I was delighted to see him. Even a brief hug? When asked how he's doing, he said "I'm alive". Oh buddy if you only knew.
I was thrilled to be at the gym! And it showed as I didn't stick to the rehab numbers. And I downloaded a new song, one I almost picked up right after the attack: Tubthumping. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down". Yeah, no keeping it 5.4 mph with that rocking :) I made it up to 7.5 for a few mins, but mostly stuck to the 6-7.0 range. Only the pace changed, time and incline as per rehab. My stride feels so much better at those paces. Or do I just tell myself that? HR was good in the early intervals but went high in the last 2, upwards of 170. Could that be right? Didn't feel that good. Looking at the data, might be cadence lock.
Tuesday, full Christmas rest!
Wednesday and Friday on parent's treadmill. Again snuck up to 7.0 speed at the most, but kept the 0% incline and 10 min intervals. Only changed the pace. Ever the scientist. HR stayed as expected in the 140-150 range. Friday's run even lower with a lot of 130's.
Since I'm keeping the intervals of rest and run the same, I might be able to lightly compare my ave HR numbers over these runs? I do a longer warm up in the rehab facility....so starting with my graduation to 10 min intervals:
17th at rehab averaged 120 bpm
19th at rehab 111bpm
21st at rehab 152 bpm?!
24th at YMCA 149
26th at home 130
28th at home 131
This all feels great! Some minor fatigue pain in the flexor/quads, and back muscle fatigue. So gotta get back to strength on that.
Rested the weekend of Dec 15-16, no training and all work. Oooh and a Blues game Friday night! I was worried about being cold, not so bad. Thankfully he patiently explained the game, otherwise I would have been too fascinated (well I was still fascinated but at least able to follow the game) with how the ice is cooled, how the zamboni works, and how the ref's do their signaling. Happy to say, I wasn't "lost" on the game itself.
Tried oatmeal Sat and Sun, at SO's encouragement. And milk! Oof, not great.
Monday Dec 17th, I was up'd to 5.4 mph for 10 min, interval and rest intervals not specified. So I mapped out a 5 mins 3.0 WU, a 5 mins 3.5 more WU, then 4x 5.4 mph for 10 mins (RI: 3.5 mph for 2.5 mins). This added up to a wonderful 3.6 mile RUN! And also my 2 mile commute from Fo Pa.
I asked Marsha about how my low blood pressure (they read 80ish/50ish at rest; 90ish/60ish in RI) might impact my running. Will I be slow to bust up a hill or have a burst of speed? Slower to recover? More sensitive to temperature and hydration? She will ask.
Tuesday only my 2 mile bike commute. WasGonna swim. Didn't. I re-activated my YMCA membership in late November with the best of intentions (aren't they all?) for December but have yet to get there. So if'n's I get a swim in before the end of the year, it'll be a $42 swim. Ugh.
Wednesday RUN 3.7ish miles! I was told to do the same workout at Monday, they haven't yet discussed moving me up more, so once I realized that no one was really looking at the numbers on the treadmill I snuck it up to 5.5 mph in the second and third interval, then up to 6.0 in the last one. SHHHHHHH don't tell anyone! LOL! My Garmin didn't accurately pick up the HR in the last interval, it kept reading 125-129 and that didn't feel right. Marsha said I got upwards of 150s. Still under my 160 bpm limit.
Friday the 21st, again 4 intervals of 10 mins at 5.4 mph. Marsha was out for holiday, but another rehab peep said next week I get to do 5.6 mph. And for the first time in rehab, I put my foot down and said "no, that's not real running". I explained that running is intervals and surges and terrain and hills and stoplights. That if they really wanted to test the heart, this had to progress faster. I think I have only a few more weeks of this, then I'm done. We'll see what happens when I get back.
Rested the weekend. Worked mostly.
On Monday rehab was closed for the holiday so I went to the gym. My first appearance since the SCAD! My friend/aquaint who is always smiling and saying hi and high-5'ing peeps was near the door and I was delighted to see him. Even a brief hug? When asked how he's doing, he said "I'm alive". Oh buddy if you only knew.
I was thrilled to be at the gym! And it showed as I didn't stick to the rehab numbers. And I downloaded a new song, one I almost picked up right after the attack: Tubthumping. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never gonna keep me down". Yeah, no keeping it 5.4 mph with that rocking :) I made it up to 7.5 for a few mins, but mostly stuck to the 6-7.0 range. Only the pace changed, time and incline as per rehab. My stride feels so much better at those paces. Or do I just tell myself that? HR was good in the early intervals but went high in the last 2, upwards of 170. Could that be right? Didn't feel that good. Looking at the data, might be cadence lock.
Tuesday, full Christmas rest!
Wednesday and Friday on parent's treadmill. Again snuck up to 7.0 speed at the most, but kept the 0% incline and 10 min intervals. Only changed the pace. Ever the scientist. HR stayed as expected in the 140-150 range. Friday's run even lower with a lot of 130's.
Since I'm keeping the intervals of rest and run the same, I might be able to lightly compare my ave HR numbers over these runs? I do a longer warm up in the rehab facility....so starting with my graduation to 10 min intervals:
17th at rehab averaged 120 bpm
19th at rehab 111bpm
21st at rehab 152 bpm?!
24th at YMCA 149
26th at home 130
28th at home 131
This all feels great! Some minor fatigue pain in the flexor/quads, and back muscle fatigue. So gotta get back to strength on that.
Friday, December 14, 2018
First half of December
Dec 1st I dedicated to a full-on but not facultative (haha, science joke) vegan diet. And of course on this first day SO brings me steaks! I haven't told him about this, too complicated. YUM. I enjoyed slowly over the course of the week. I said facultative, not obligate!
RUN 1.5 miles Monday Dec 3rd is 99 days since first attack (episode, whatevers) and my goal was to be running by this point. WIN! In my mind there were confetti cannons and Ray of Light song. 4x 5 mins on treadmill at 4.5 mph and 0% grade, with 5 mins 3.5 mph rest. AWESOME.
Oh and don't tell anyone, but I'm riding Puppy the 1 mile each way from my Forest Park parking spot. Goal is to bike commute Tues and Thurs once I have permission to do so.
Weds RUN 1.5 miles
Fri RUN 1.66 miles (when I'm down to the hundredths of a mile, it shows my desperation). Now up to 4x 5 mins intervals at 5.0 mph. I talk to Marsha and beg for more, mention my goal race of 24 The Hard Way. (I know of no other way to do it!)
Weekend Full rest. Mom and Dad visited!!
Monday RUN 2.42 miles now up to 7 min intervals, 3 min rest at 5.2 mph. More please. Marsha said Dr W was thinking the 24 hour race was a relay. LOL! Even with M&D here I went to rehab. Desperation. Naw. LOVE.
Weds RUN the same as Monday. Had the cardio education class with the dietitian. I was jumping to get on the tready, and ran out like a schoolkid once I could. Got new cholesterol panel results today:
TOTAL 89 (!); HDL 73; LDL 11; TGs 25. Holy shit! I emailed Dr S to inquire about stopping the Repatha to see if my new diet changes are effective. Waiting for reply.
Friday RUN 3.0 miles!!!!!!!!!!!! Added another 7 min interval, same 5.2 mph. Asked Marsha about the cold weather limit, it's 40F. So no exertion below 40. I ask if I can bike outdoors if it's over 40. Yes, but not the bike commute. Maybe a 20 mins ride to a park and bike. Next week I can do 5.4 mph (sooooo conservative!) but 10 min intervals. YAY!
Songlist additions. Ray of Light by Madonna and Anything But Mine by KennyC. More love songs about running. :)
RUN 1.5 miles Monday Dec 3rd is 99 days since first attack (episode, whatevers) and my goal was to be running by this point. WIN! In my mind there were confetti cannons and Ray of Light song. 4x 5 mins on treadmill at 4.5 mph and 0% grade, with 5 mins 3.5 mph rest. AWESOME.
Oh and don't tell anyone, but I'm riding Puppy the 1 mile each way from my Forest Park parking spot. Goal is to bike commute Tues and Thurs once I have permission to do so.
Weds RUN 1.5 miles
Fri RUN 1.66 miles (when I'm down to the hundredths of a mile, it shows my desperation). Now up to 4x 5 mins intervals at 5.0 mph. I talk to Marsha and beg for more, mention my goal race of 24 The Hard Way. (I know of no other way to do it!)
Weekend Full rest. Mom and Dad visited!!
Monday RUN 2.42 miles now up to 7 min intervals, 3 min rest at 5.2 mph. More please. Marsha said Dr W was thinking the 24 hour race was a relay. LOL! Even with M&D here I went to rehab. Desperation. Naw. LOVE.
Weds RUN the same as Monday. Had the cardio education class with the dietitian. I was jumping to get on the tready, and ran out like a schoolkid once I could. Got new cholesterol panel results today:
TOTAL 89 (!); HDL 73; LDL 11; TGs 25. Holy shit! I emailed Dr S to inquire about stopping the Repatha to see if my new diet changes are effective. Waiting for reply.
Friday RUN 3.0 miles!!!!!!!!!!!! Added another 7 min interval, same 5.2 mph. Asked Marsha about the cold weather limit, it's 40F. So no exertion below 40. I ask if I can bike outdoors if it's over 40. Yes, but not the bike commute. Maybe a 20 mins ride to a park and bike. Next week I can do 5.4 mph (sooooo conservative!) but 10 min intervals. YAY!
Songlist additions. Ray of Light by Madonna and Anything But Mine by KennyC. More love songs about running. :)
Friday, November 30, 2018
November is ending on a Puppy note!
BIKE COMMUTE about 2 miles!!
Shhhhhh.....I'm not really supposed to be riding Puppy, but I couldn't resist. The rear tire has been flat since he came home from SO's mechanic, wouldn't hold air. Then in October Dad moved Puppster to the basement. Last night I pulled him back up and this morning popped a new tube in. I was singing "Go Puppy, it's your birthday, we're gonna party, like it's your birthday..." Don't worry, that song won't be added to the IM Songlist. Oh, maybe it will. Playing on the YouTuber now for review.
LOLZ can't help but laff at the video. Yeah no not sure about this one. As a side note, SO's Candy Shop song is next on the playlist. Hahaha! Oh ya this In Da Club song is awful. Why was I singing it?
This morning Marsha and I talked about running next week, only with permission from Dr White. In my mind's eye there will be confetti cannons. Today I did my longest treadmill and bike sessions - 30 mins of each (no handcycle, boring!). 1.75 mi walk and 7.8 miles biked.
I've been aiming for 60' mins of activity a day. On Tuesday (or Weds, not sure) I did the first P90X CD, did it lightly and was still sore and numb afterwards. It was the push-up/pull-up workout.
I'm feeling great! No symptoms since around Nov 5th or so. A few days ago I committed to a 6-8 week vegan test, I'm a few days in and starting with a juice "fast", not really a fast and not really all juice. But it's pushing veggies, I tried beets today - just a half cup of canned - and Yummy! So my shopping list for next week has lots of F&V that I don't normally buy.
Oh did I mention I bought a Breville juicer for only $10. Thanks neighbor! The doctors aren't telling me to go veg*n but when they hear about it they support it. So I'm happy to try it. I really never thought I'd be OK not eating meat because I love it so much! But I haven't had my fluff in over a week, had a few egg whites while home for Turkey day, and other than a steak SO brought over for dinner (a man after my heart!) I've been pretty meat free.
The goal of this veg*n test? 6-8 weeks, depending on how I'm feeling, to see if I can shift the blood numbers. I get tested next week or so and this will measure the effects of the Repatha anti-PCSK9 human monoclonal, then the next test in February will test the effects of the diet. At least that's how I see it.
Oh and speaking of SO, last night I got my xmas present! A SUPER NICE jersey and bib shorts. Bib shorts?! New for me, oooooh hope it warms up so I can wear them. The material is soft and thin and way nicer than I've ever owned for biking. Or running. Or well much of anything lately.
Speaking of Turkey day, I enjoyed some Turkey on two days, no cheese, and no other meat! Only some yogurt and a few nibs of SO's lasagna cheese that I made for him and Dad. Dad's pan was enjoyed by the whole family, including niece and nephew who stayed there for the weekend while sis and BIL were on vacay in New Orleans.
Speaking of neighbors, I'm getting more follow-up-ish on queries about the furniture and schtuff I'm trying to sell. My living room so cluttered - sofa, swivel chair, lamps, rocking chair. All piled up.
My coworker SVC had her last day today. I got her a Nathan waist pack and a BRR card for her Disney marathon. Real Disney, like not my Disney, haha.
It's supposed to be upwards of 60F tomorrow, after some overnight rain. Want to go hiking!! But lets see how much mud from the rain and how much work I need to get done this weekend. M&D might be visiting next weekend so I want to get caught up.
So for December it's getting into running and my vegan test!
Shhhhhh.....I'm not really supposed to be riding Puppy, but I couldn't resist. The rear tire has been flat since he came home from SO's mechanic, wouldn't hold air. Then in October Dad moved Puppster to the basement. Last night I pulled him back up and this morning popped a new tube in. I was singing "Go Puppy, it's your birthday, we're gonna party, like it's your birthday..." Don't worry, that song won't be added to the IM Songlist. Oh, maybe it will. Playing on the YouTuber now for review.
LOLZ can't help but laff at the video. Yeah no not sure about this one. As a side note, SO's Candy Shop song is next on the playlist. Hahaha! Oh ya this In Da Club song is awful. Why was I singing it?
This morning Marsha and I talked about running next week, only with permission from Dr White. In my mind's eye there will be confetti cannons. Today I did my longest treadmill and bike sessions - 30 mins of each (no handcycle, boring!). 1.75 mi walk and 7.8 miles biked.
I've been aiming for 60' mins of activity a day. On Tuesday (or Weds, not sure) I did the first P90X CD, did it lightly and was still sore and numb afterwards. It was the push-up/pull-up workout.
I'm feeling great! No symptoms since around Nov 5th or so. A few days ago I committed to a 6-8 week vegan test, I'm a few days in and starting with a juice "fast", not really a fast and not really all juice. But it's pushing veggies, I tried beets today - just a half cup of canned - and Yummy! So my shopping list for next week has lots of F&V that I don't normally buy.
Oh did I mention I bought a Breville juicer for only $10. Thanks neighbor! The doctors aren't telling me to go veg*n but when they hear about it they support it. So I'm happy to try it. I really never thought I'd be OK not eating meat because I love it so much! But I haven't had my fluff in over a week, had a few egg whites while home for Turkey day, and other than a steak SO brought over for dinner (a man after my heart!) I've been pretty meat free.
The goal of this veg*n test? 6-8 weeks, depending on how I'm feeling, to see if I can shift the blood numbers. I get tested next week or so and this will measure the effects of the Repatha anti-PCSK9 human monoclonal, then the next test in February will test the effects of the diet. At least that's how I see it.
Oh and speaking of SO, last night I got my xmas present! A SUPER NICE jersey and bib shorts. Bib shorts?! New for me, oooooh hope it warms up so I can wear them. The material is soft and thin and way nicer than I've ever owned for biking. Or running. Or well much of anything lately.
Speaking of Turkey day, I enjoyed some Turkey on two days, no cheese, and no other meat! Only some yogurt and a few nibs of SO's lasagna cheese that I made for him and Dad. Dad's pan was enjoyed by the whole family, including niece and nephew who stayed there for the weekend while sis and BIL were on vacay in New Orleans.
Speaking of neighbors, I'm getting more follow-up-ish on queries about the furniture and schtuff I'm trying to sell. My living room so cluttered - sofa, swivel chair, lamps, rocking chair. All piled up.
My coworker SVC had her last day today. I got her a Nathan waist pack and a BRR card for her Disney marathon. Real Disney, like not my Disney, haha.
It's supposed to be upwards of 60F tomorrow, after some overnight rain. Want to go hiking!! But lets see how much mud from the rain and how much work I need to get done this weekend. M&D might be visiting next weekend so I want to get caught up.
So for December it's getting into running and my vegan test!
Friday, November 16, 2018
I cn haz hundredz?!
YES according to Dr W who said that intensity is more the problem than volume. So when I specifically asked about the low HR races like ultras and hundreds, she seemed OK with it.
I can't WHOOP loud enough on paper for this!
It's a wonderful carrot. I joke that I'm already race shopping, but it's a joke. I went through all this spring race shopping and planning and mapping and thinking and etc and etc, only to have most none of it pan out. My eyes and brain were bigger than my endurance capacity and my hip healing.
This week has been my best week since the initial events on Labor Day weekend. 80-some days ago I think. (I set a countdown in my phone for this). I'm pain free, no cardiac symptoms, no dizzy or fatigue, or breathlessness like I was having. Whether it was mental or physical or a combination of both, who cares. I'm out of it.
This past weekend I had a strong urge to run, even just a block or two. I still have it, but haven't acted on it. At rehab I started doing 10' handcycle (swim), 20' bike, and 20' treadmill (run). Only the bike gets my HR up, walking will need more hill.
Today on the bike my BP was 120/something! The highest it's read for me lately, but also I don't typically get BP readings while exercising. I hit my goal of 5.5 miles in just a squeak under 20 mins. Then on the treadmill a woman who got on an adjacent treadmill halfway through my session set hers to 1.5% incline and 3.4 speed while I was 1.0% and 3.0 (GRRRRR) (but don't forget she was holding the handrails) (but still, the competitive in me...) and this only spurred me to increase very slowly my speed a few points. Next week, >3.0 on the 'mill.
And yesterday I did my first stairs climb at work to the 7th floor of the mouse house. Felt OK, so I'll continue adding that back in.
And I'm looking at being meat-free before the end of November. I'm going to enjoy Turkey and more while on holiday vacation, then transition once the "clean out" is done. Then I don't buy anymore until ....? I'm going for 6 weeks as my initial goal.
Bought a juicer too, did I mention that in the last post? Enjoying a morning juice, still finding my fave ingredients. For the past 2 weeks or so I've had awful bloating and gut swelling, last night was first night that it wasn't a problem. So gotta keep track on that. Some suspicions on the blackberries I've been buying.
I can't WHOOP loud enough on paper for this!
It's a wonderful carrot. I joke that I'm already race shopping, but it's a joke. I went through all this spring race shopping and planning and mapping and thinking and etc and etc, only to have most none of it pan out. My eyes and brain were bigger than my endurance capacity and my hip healing.
This week has been my best week since the initial events on Labor Day weekend. 80-some days ago I think. (I set a countdown in my phone for this). I'm pain free, no cardiac symptoms, no dizzy or fatigue, or breathlessness like I was having. Whether it was mental or physical or a combination of both, who cares. I'm out of it.
This past weekend I had a strong urge to run, even just a block or two. I still have it, but haven't acted on it. At rehab I started doing 10' handcycle (swim), 20' bike, and 20' treadmill (run). Only the bike gets my HR up, walking will need more hill.
Today on the bike my BP was 120/something! The highest it's read for me lately, but also I don't typically get BP readings while exercising. I hit my goal of 5.5 miles in just a squeak under 20 mins. Then on the treadmill a woman who got on an adjacent treadmill halfway through my session set hers to 1.5% incline and 3.4 speed while I was 1.0% and 3.0 (GRRRRR) (but don't forget she was holding the handrails) (but still, the competitive in me...) and this only spurred me to increase very slowly my speed a few points. Next week, >3.0 on the 'mill.
And yesterday I did my first stairs climb at work to the 7th floor of the mouse house. Felt OK, so I'll continue adding that back in.
And I'm looking at being meat-free before the end of November. I'm going to enjoy Turkey and more while on holiday vacation, then transition once the "clean out" is done. Then I don't buy anymore until ....? I'm going for 6 weeks as my initial goal.
Bought a juicer too, did I mention that in the last post? Enjoying a morning juice, still finding my fave ingredients. For the past 2 weeks or so I've had awful bloating and gut swelling, last night was first night that it wasn't a problem. So gotta keep track on that. Some suspicions on the blackberries I've been buying.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Two weeks into November
I miss typing into my little log here, but at the same time it surprises me that days can go by and I don't even think about ?!
Today is the 13th, almost halfway into the month. On Friday the 2nd I met my lipidologist Dr S. Awesome many times over. He's excited to discuss the science and research and answer questions, what more can I want for? He's starting me on two more Rx, Repatha and Vascepa. I'm still doing the research on them. The first is a PCSK9 inhibitor that will result in more LDL particles at the cell surface, instead of being targeted for degradation. The second is a high concentration EPA fish oil show to reduce cardiac deaths/events but the mechanism isn't clear from what I read. The Repatha is almost $7000/year (this after a 60% discount by the manufacturer) and the Vascepa is $300/month. See what insurance will do for me. Dr S says they'll go to bat for me on that. Oh, and I stop my OTC fish oil, the DHA can increase LDL. He gets tests for TSH (normal), free T4 (low, haven't followed up with that yet), and a serum protein electrophoresis to look for oligoclonal bands indicative of antibody, one theory is that I have antibodies interfering with LDL uptake. Cool, right?! Except, it's me.
So then on to Monday, where I have a head and neck CT immediately followed by an appointment with Dr B. All is well. The 8mm iliac dissection in the abdominal/pelvic CT last week is either not really a dissection or it is and he's not worried about it. I'm feeling MUCH better that I did a week ago, I didn't realize just how fatigued and tired I felt. The metoprolol is the suspect in that. He's stopped that and now I'm on a Ca+2 channel blocker to keep the arterial muscle cells calm. Dr B is optimistic for my future, pleased with how things are going, and what better can you want than to hear "see you in 3 months". Awesome!
It seems my science life has invaded my training life blog.
Tuesday the 6th I see Dr L. I'm holding good there, he says I need to start up the PT exercises to restabilize my hip which has started popping sometimes and occasionally hurts at one of the hip flexors.
On Weds the 7th I go back to rehab! Again I recognize a huge increase in energy, mental and physical. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling in the weeks before my second hospital admission.
This past few days was a quiet weekend with no symptoms. And I bought a juicer. Just what my countertop needs. But, I can see where it fits into a more-veggie lifestyle. Some of the soup recipes use veg juice as a base instead of broth. And speaking of recipes, I'm hoarding veg*n books from the library (probably cruised through 15+ already) to learn what to do about vitamins, protein, how to fix these new foods, and more. Soooo much info, and it all seems to agree but that could be because I'm searching within a defined parameter of "vegan". Engine 2, Eat 2 Live, 22-Day Revolution -- all programs espousing no animal products, little to no oil, limited starch, veg*n life.
As of today, I've cut processed foods, pork, oil, beef, fish, full fat dairy, and this week egg yolks. Leaving me with chicken, egg whites, the remaining liver in the freezer. The goal last week was at least 1 meatless meal a day. This week pushing that out a little further.
I've added tofu and tempeh, more greens, chia and flax seed (don't overdo these either), tahini, sunflower seeds (>1T a fail), red lentils (OK to 1/8th cup so far), butternut (tend to overeat), canned chickpeas (fail), canned lentils (not final test, and kinda yucky), and eggplant. Next up maybe quinoa. Haha, Fuck Quinoa.
Speaking of whom. I have this long draft email to send him as an update. Last time I did this we talked over the phone and he invited me on to the pod. I'm tempted, but not wanting to do so. So I'm wondering, why send the email then. Keep thinking on it.
Well anyway, the nutrition experiment is going good with a potential issue? In the most recent cath before they started they took an image and asked if I was constipated? No... why....? I "looked like i was". Nice. Then in the abd/pelvic CT the same observation of a "large volume of feces" and more etc. Yeah, that would explain why my gut is perpetually SWOLLEN. Ugh, some days I feel nauseated. The next morning I pass what seems to be and entire large intestine of stuff. I'm giving my gut a few weeks to adapt before make more changes. Or worrying about it.
This week, still feeling great at rehab yesterday. On Sunday I had the urge to run, that urge has been stalled out lately so it felt good to see it coming back. Yesterday at rehab I did a "swim bike run" by doing the handcycle first, then a bike, then the treadmill. :)
Today, in an hour I have my first followup with Dr White. More after that.
Today is the 13th, almost halfway into the month. On Friday the 2nd I met my lipidologist Dr S. Awesome many times over. He's excited to discuss the science and research and answer questions, what more can I want for? He's starting me on two more Rx, Repatha and Vascepa. I'm still doing the research on them. The first is a PCSK9 inhibitor that will result in more LDL particles at the cell surface, instead of being targeted for degradation. The second is a high concentration EPA fish oil show to reduce cardiac deaths/events but the mechanism isn't clear from what I read. The Repatha is almost $7000/year (this after a 60% discount by the manufacturer) and the Vascepa is $300/month. See what insurance will do for me. Dr S says they'll go to bat for me on that. Oh, and I stop my OTC fish oil, the DHA can increase LDL. He gets tests for TSH (normal), free T4 (low, haven't followed up with that yet), and a serum protein electrophoresis to look for oligoclonal bands indicative of antibody, one theory is that I have antibodies interfering with LDL uptake. Cool, right?! Except, it's me.
So then on to Monday, where I have a head and neck CT immediately followed by an appointment with Dr B. All is well. The 8mm iliac dissection in the abdominal/pelvic CT last week is either not really a dissection or it is and he's not worried about it. I'm feeling MUCH better that I did a week ago, I didn't realize just how fatigued and tired I felt. The metoprolol is the suspect in that. He's stopped that and now I'm on a Ca+2 channel blocker to keep the arterial muscle cells calm. Dr B is optimistic for my future, pleased with how things are going, and what better can you want than to hear "see you in 3 months". Awesome!
It seems my science life has invaded my training life blog.
Tuesday the 6th I see Dr L. I'm holding good there, he says I need to start up the PT exercises to restabilize my hip which has started popping sometimes and occasionally hurts at one of the hip flexors.
On Weds the 7th I go back to rehab! Again I recognize a huge increase in energy, mental and physical. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling in the weeks before my second hospital admission.
This past few days was a quiet weekend with no symptoms. And I bought a juicer. Just what my countertop needs. But, I can see where it fits into a more-veggie lifestyle. Some of the soup recipes use veg juice as a base instead of broth. And speaking of recipes, I'm hoarding veg*n books from the library (probably cruised through 15+ already) to learn what to do about vitamins, protein, how to fix these new foods, and more. Soooo much info, and it all seems to agree but that could be because I'm searching within a defined parameter of "vegan". Engine 2, Eat 2 Live, 22-Day Revolution -- all programs espousing no animal products, little to no oil, limited starch, veg*n life.
As of today, I've cut processed foods, pork, oil, beef, fish, full fat dairy, and this week egg yolks. Leaving me with chicken, egg whites, the remaining liver in the freezer. The goal last week was at least 1 meatless meal a day. This week pushing that out a little further.
I've added tofu and tempeh, more greens, chia and flax seed (don't overdo these either), tahini, sunflower seeds (>1T a fail), red lentils (OK to 1/8th cup so far), butternut (tend to overeat), canned chickpeas (fail), canned lentils (not final test, and kinda yucky), and eggplant. Next up maybe quinoa. Haha, Fuck Quinoa.
Speaking of whom. I have this long draft email to send him as an update. Last time I did this we talked over the phone and he invited me on to the pod. I'm tempted, but not wanting to do so. So I'm wondering, why send the email then. Keep thinking on it.
Well anyway, the nutrition experiment is going good with a potential issue? In the most recent cath before they started they took an image and asked if I was constipated? No... why....? I "looked like i was". Nice. Then in the abd/pelvic CT the same observation of a "large volume of feces" and more etc. Yeah, that would explain why my gut is perpetually SWOLLEN. Ugh, some days I feel nauseated. The next morning I pass what seems to be and entire large intestine of stuff. I'm giving my gut a few weeks to adapt before make more changes. Or worrying about it.
This week, still feeling great at rehab yesterday. On Sunday I had the urge to run, that urge has been stalled out lately so it felt good to see it coming back. Yesterday at rehab I did a "swim bike run" by doing the handcycle first, then a bike, then the treadmill. :)
Today, in an hour I have my first followup with Dr White. More after that.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
No _______ November?
November 1st, and it seems my main goal right at the moment is planning out my diet changes. I talk to a lipidologist tomorrow, will know more about whether going veg*n, full or in part, will make differences for me. I should at least try it? Either way, because I like planning and because I don't have any training plans or races to plan for, I'm planning this.
List to add and test slowly over time: soy and tahini already done, then quinoa, red lentils, flax, chia, butternut, oats?, more greens, canned legume, canned lentil, eggplant. I've found 2 more FODMAP apps that are helping with the serving sizes. The schedule will be determined by how symptoms go.
List to eliminate over time: processed food and and pork already done, then in this order: added oil and beef, egg yolks and fish, full fat dairy and chicken, all egg and all dairy and liver. This was in part dictated by what foods I have on hand to use up. I think if I don't consume all of fish for example (bag of scallops, 2 sardines, 1 oyster, 1 salmon, 1 anchovy) it won't be the end of the world. Eat them into the next week, or just leave in cabinet.
So far, butternut was a problem because I ate too much. The latest serving recommendation is only 0.25c. I was eating 1 cup! Also tested flax and chia, but lines got blurred because I was stacking and overdoing the recommended 1 tablespoon serving.
Geezus, VEGAN?! What a HUGE missed-steak.
List to add and test slowly over time: soy and tahini already done, then quinoa, red lentils, flax, chia, butternut, oats?, more greens, canned legume, canned lentil, eggplant. I've found 2 more FODMAP apps that are helping with the serving sizes. The schedule will be determined by how symptoms go.
List to eliminate over time: processed food and and pork already done, then in this order: added oil and beef, egg yolks and fish, full fat dairy and chicken, all egg and all dairy and liver. This was in part dictated by what foods I have on hand to use up. I think if I don't consume all of fish for example (bag of scallops, 2 sardines, 1 oyster, 1 salmon, 1 anchovy) it won't be the end of the world. Eat them into the next week, or just leave in cabinet.
So far, butternut was a problem because I ate too much. The latest serving recommendation is only 0.25c. I was eating 1 cup! Also tested flax and chia, but lines got blurred because I was stacking and overdoing the recommended 1 tablespoon serving.
Geezus, VEGAN?! What a HUGE missed-steak.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
October Songlist additions
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
It takes a lot to change your plans
Hell a train to change your mind
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
Oh, maybe it's time to let the old ways die
and
You found the light in me that I couldn't find
and
It takes a lot to change your plans
Hell a train to change your mind
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
Oh, maybe it's time to let the old ways die
and
You found the light in me that I couldn't find
and
I'm fighting a battle
I'm fighting my shadow
Herd fears like they're cattle
I'm fighting a battle, yeah
I'm fighting my ego
Lost youth, where did we go wrong?
I'm fighting for me, though
I'm lighting the long way home
I'm fighting my shadow
Herd fears like they're cattle
I'm fighting a battle, yeah
I'm fighting my ego
Lost youth, where did we go wrong?
I'm fighting for me, though
I'm lighting the long way home
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
But the battle was lost
'Cause I'm still here
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
But the battle was lost
'Cause I'm still here
How October ended. The Good, The Bad, and the Vegan.
Monday Oct 22. No rehab due to suspension. Dr A just so happens to message me, asking how I'm doing. I reply with last week's story. He says I should call Dr B. I send Dr B the same message. And get an appt for Wednesday. The day goes OK, I left awful in lab meeting. TM said I looked sullen. Sooooo not my goal for anyone to see this. I've been aiming for Make Like Duck (make it look easy...) but I'm failing. I make a list of things to do before anyone comes to the house, and prep a packed bag, expecting the possibility of a September repeat.
Tuesday Oct 23. Still pain. To be more specific -- Getting up out of the chair and moving for a few minutes induces a tight feeling in the chest, that sometimes radiates up into my neck. I think even my jaw and ears. But it's not pain like I call pain. And it goes away after a few mins.
Weds Oct 24th. I get a balloon and Energy Drink from TM, LOL. Have lunch with TV. Appt with Dr B, and just the walk over to the CAM building left me w symptoms. As I waited in the room, studying meditatively the heart anatomy wall poster, I contemplated how to describe this. Dr B reviews my SLU cath images (so cool except it's me), can very clearly see how arteries acutely narrow to nothing. And he might even see another tear. He wants Dr Sing (phonetic spelling for now) to review tomorrow. In the meantime time he wants to admit me. NOW I REALLY START HAVING SYMPTOMS. Oh gawd, NO! But....... I can't deny how I feel. (well, I can deny anything, but.....). So I go home, grab up the dog, quick tidy the house, and grab the bag I packed on Monday. How did I know? Once at BJC, I drug my feet, walked Hudlin to see the rising full moon (never did get to see it), went to lab, finally checked myself in.
The hospital stay, Day 1. Weds night. The plan is to prep me for cath tomorrow, so NPO after midnight. I hadn't eaten since lunch with TV and I had zero appetite now. So I opted for no dinner. Hooked up to telemetry, giving some new meds, they tried nitro SL but my BP dropped too low and I was dizzy, so the IV nitro wasn't even started.
Day 2, my FUCKING BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday to me, how looks, my EKG? OK not funny. Up and waiting the day to see what happens. Dr B comes by quickly, I'm getting cath'd in the afternoon. More waiting. I get a balloon from Concierge, the nurses want to bring me a cupcake but I'm g-free dairy-free and on top of all that NPO. Waiting, enjoying my Indianapolis book, fielding texts about birthday and updates. I don't tell most people where I am, I'm embarrassed about it all. And don't want to attract attention for it. My cath is scheduled for 3pm, M&D expect to arrive about then. They find me in pre-cath prep, I'm so happy they made it before I went in! I was awake for all of the cath this time and watched what I could on the big TV. Great News!!!! The stents are wide open, everything is healing, and they see nothing. Wait, then what's causing the pain?? Dr S suggests artery spasms. Ugh. OK so good and vague news. Back to recovery, Dr B comes in and seems 10x more relieved than I am, I think I'm still processing, M&D come in, Dr S comes in, it's like a parade and I'm at the middle of it and don't like it, then back to my room for 4 hours of stillness for the post-cath wound closure. As before, I use this time to think.
See this is good news, but also not so good news for me. Now what do I do when I have symptoms? Keep going? Ignore it? How do I trust myself? Was I making it all up? Was it in my head? Did I condition myself to feel "something" on a treadmill? Did I get too involved in the pain, and cause myself anxiety?
It was real. I'm certain of that. It would come on so unexpectedly, like a surprise. I wasn't overtly anxious over it, it was more of a mental diversion, a distraction. I couldn't focus when it happened. That last bit might be the "overthinking" and "getting too involved" in the pain. So mayhaps I amplified it? I don't think so, my gut instinct doesn't agree with that. But I will for sure watch for this in the future, as part of the modifications.
In other news of the day, M&D set off the alarm at the house that night. But it's OK but who would break into the house with custom plates, a business logo on the vehicle, and be carrying things INTO the house?! LOL. Got my new dining room table.
Day 3, M&D come in early for Dr B's rounds. I get my bday present -- the necklace!! Time For A Snoopy Dance! Then I'm whisked away for my echocardiogram. Happily the sonographer explained it all in wonderful detail!! 30-40 mins of fun! I have mild and normal valve leaks, he doesn't mention anything else. Dr B comes in briefly, he talked to M&D too --
** And fucking-A just sitting here my chest starts to hurt, a pulsing focal pain. WTF. **
-- even though he didn't have explicit permission to do so, and I'm so thankful he did. He smirked when Mom told him about Cleo, LOL. Back to the room, where things happened quickly and I was discharged. HOME!!
We kinda celebrated my birthday the whole weekend. Shopping errands, resting, saw RM on Saturday for dog walk and TH on Sunday for breakfast. Dad walked Sugar, fixed back gate and installed light, and did lots of little lifting duties and more. Mom showed me how to cook tilapia. Visit ended way too soon. But I was looking much better this time around, the last time they were here things were less certain.
The last week of October, the 29th, I was back at work. Feeling MUCH better. It seems a heavy fatigue is lifted, was I subclinical sick last week? Did my weeklong experience with hives have something to do with anything? Today (on Nov 1st) I happily emailed Dr B an update that said I'm better than the past two weeks. and it's true. Not Cleo.
There's so much to be said about the past week. I may end up adding some in edits, or maybe I'll just let it go into the past. Speaking of which, I've dropped for now the 30+ point checklist thingie I've been doing for a few years. Time to let the old ways die? (Good song, by the way, downloaded to song list). So far I don't miss it. Of course, I've started another checklist. But I've also dropped the weekly Nutso checker with the colors and boxes I've been doing for a year or more too.
One week ago I was in the cath lab at this hour. Now I'm back to life, planning diet changes -- have lots of vegetarian and vegan books from the library!, listening to a 7-8 hour podcast from Peter Attila on cholesterol, fielding innumerable MyChart updates, straightening out a $22000 bill from St Mary's with UHC (Yikes, you can't do that to a heart patient!), and every now and then I feel an itch to run again.
Tuesday Oct 23. Still pain. To be more specific -- Getting up out of the chair and moving for a few minutes induces a tight feeling in the chest, that sometimes radiates up into my neck. I think even my jaw and ears. But it's not pain like I call pain. And it goes away after a few mins.
Weds Oct 24th. I get a balloon and Energy Drink from TM, LOL. Have lunch with TV. Appt with Dr B, and just the walk over to the CAM building left me w symptoms. As I waited in the room, studying meditatively the heart anatomy wall poster, I contemplated how to describe this. Dr B reviews my SLU cath images (so cool except it's me), can very clearly see how arteries acutely narrow to nothing. And he might even see another tear. He wants Dr Sing (phonetic spelling for now) to review tomorrow. In the meantime time he wants to admit me. NOW I REALLY START HAVING SYMPTOMS. Oh gawd, NO! But....... I can't deny how I feel. (well, I can deny anything, but.....). So I go home, grab up the dog, quick tidy the house, and grab the bag I packed on Monday. How did I know? Once at BJC, I drug my feet, walked Hudlin to see the rising full moon (never did get to see it), went to lab, finally checked myself in.
The hospital stay, Day 1. Weds night. The plan is to prep me for cath tomorrow, so NPO after midnight. I hadn't eaten since lunch with TV and I had zero appetite now. So I opted for no dinner. Hooked up to telemetry, giving some new meds, they tried nitro SL but my BP dropped too low and I was dizzy, so the IV nitro wasn't even started.
Day 2, my FUCKING BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday to me, how looks, my EKG? OK not funny. Up and waiting the day to see what happens. Dr B comes by quickly, I'm getting cath'd in the afternoon. More waiting. I get a balloon from Concierge, the nurses want to bring me a cupcake but I'm g-free dairy-free and on top of all that NPO. Waiting, enjoying my Indianapolis book, fielding texts about birthday and updates. I don't tell most people where I am, I'm embarrassed about it all. And don't want to attract attention for it. My cath is scheduled for 3pm, M&D expect to arrive about then. They find me in pre-cath prep, I'm so happy they made it before I went in! I was awake for all of the cath this time and watched what I could on the big TV. Great News!!!! The stents are wide open, everything is healing, and they see nothing. Wait, then what's causing the pain?? Dr S suggests artery spasms. Ugh. OK so good and vague news. Back to recovery, Dr B comes in and seems 10x more relieved than I am, I think I'm still processing, M&D come in, Dr S comes in, it's like a parade and I'm at the middle of it and don't like it, then back to my room for 4 hours of stillness for the post-cath wound closure. As before, I use this time to think.
See this is good news, but also not so good news for me. Now what do I do when I have symptoms? Keep going? Ignore it? How do I trust myself? Was I making it all up? Was it in my head? Did I condition myself to feel "something" on a treadmill? Did I get too involved in the pain, and cause myself anxiety?
It was real. I'm certain of that. It would come on so unexpectedly, like a surprise. I wasn't overtly anxious over it, it was more of a mental diversion, a distraction. I couldn't focus when it happened. That last bit might be the "overthinking" and "getting too involved" in the pain. So mayhaps I amplified it? I don't think so, my gut instinct doesn't agree with that. But I will for sure watch for this in the future, as part of the modifications.
In other news of the day, M&D set off the alarm at the house that night. But it's OK but who would break into the house with custom plates, a business logo on the vehicle, and be carrying things INTO the house?! LOL. Got my new dining room table.
Day 3, M&D come in early for Dr B's rounds. I get my bday present -- the necklace!! Time For A Snoopy Dance! Then I'm whisked away for my echocardiogram. Happily the sonographer explained it all in wonderful detail!! 30-40 mins of fun! I have mild and normal valve leaks, he doesn't mention anything else. Dr B comes in briefly, he talked to M&D too --
** And fucking-A just sitting here my chest starts to hurt, a pulsing focal pain. WTF. **
-- even though he didn't have explicit permission to do so, and I'm so thankful he did. He smirked when Mom told him about Cleo, LOL. Back to the room, where things happened quickly and I was discharged. HOME!!
We kinda celebrated my birthday the whole weekend. Shopping errands, resting, saw RM on Saturday for dog walk and TH on Sunday for breakfast. Dad walked Sugar, fixed back gate and installed light, and did lots of little lifting duties and more. Mom showed me how to cook tilapia. Visit ended way too soon. But I was looking much better this time around, the last time they were here things were less certain.
The last week of October, the 29th, I was back at work. Feeling MUCH better. It seems a heavy fatigue is lifted, was I subclinical sick last week? Did my weeklong experience with hives have something to do with anything? Today (on Nov 1st) I happily emailed Dr B an update that said I'm better than the past two weeks. and it's true. Not Cleo.
There's so much to be said about the past week. I may end up adding some in edits, or maybe I'll just let it go into the past. Speaking of which, I've dropped for now the 30+ point checklist thingie I've been doing for a few years. Time to let the old ways die? (Good song, by the way, downloaded to song list). So far I don't miss it. Of course, I've started another checklist. But I've also dropped the weekly Nutso checker with the colors and boxes I've been doing for a year or more too.
One week ago I was in the cath lab at this hour. Now I'm back to life, planning diet changes -- have lots of vegetarian and vegan books from the library!, listening to a 7-8 hour podcast from Peter Attila on cholesterol, fielding innumerable MyChart updates, straightening out a $22000 bill from St Mary's with UHC (Yikes, you can't do that to a heart patient!), and every now and then I feel an itch to run again.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
3rd week of October, 2nd week of rehab
So little is going on, I can only come up with lame post titles.
Monday 15th -- After Friday's increase in symptoms at rehab, more attention was put on me today. And sure enough, a few minutes into the bike I had "symptoms": chest discomfort (not really pain), throat pain on left side, and a headache. I did get 25 mins on the treadmill, 20 mins on the bike (with lots of slowing and stopping), and 10 mins on the hand cycle. The rest of the day, I had chest discomfort.
Tuesday -- purposefully took an easy morning and noted no symptoms. Good, like starting from a zero baseline. Then I walked into work from FoPa, took the steps up to Children's and since then (hours ago) I'm having chest pain. Just pain in the chest, behind the sternum, comes and goes, sometimes pretty notable. But not at all like the initial attacks. My bottle of nitroglycerin is sitting next to me, what to do?! Take it and see what happens? This borders on scary.
I left off here. Now it's Oct 31st and I'm retro-writing. I'll pick up in next post.
But I can summarize the rest of the above week -- more symptoms Friday in rehab, and received a call that afternoon that rehab is suspended for at least two weeks.
Monday 15th -- After Friday's increase in symptoms at rehab, more attention was put on me today. And sure enough, a few minutes into the bike I had "symptoms": chest discomfort (not really pain), throat pain on left side, and a headache. I did get 25 mins on the treadmill, 20 mins on the bike (with lots of slowing and stopping), and 10 mins on the hand cycle. The rest of the day, I had chest discomfort.
Tuesday -- purposefully took an easy morning and noted no symptoms. Good, like starting from a zero baseline. Then I walked into work from FoPa, took the steps up to Children's and since then (hours ago) I'm having chest pain. Just pain in the chest, behind the sternum, comes and goes, sometimes pretty notable. But not at all like the initial attacks. My bottle of nitroglycerin is sitting next to me, what to do?! Take it and see what happens? This borders on scary.
I left off here. Now it's Oct 31st and I'm retro-writing. I'll pick up in next post.
But I can summarize the rest of the above week -- more symptoms Friday in rehab, and received a call that afternoon that rehab is suspended for at least two weeks.
Sunday, October 14, 2018
First week of cardiac rehab
Monday 17 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 10 mins hand cycle
Tuesday 20' on Bird (shhh not supposed to), Dr L appt, nutritionist appt
Wednesday 30 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 10 mins hand cycle
Monday I wasn't in the best of moods for rehab, why was I so negative? I guess it's my reaction to doing something new I don't want to do? Really though it wasn't hard, I don't mean the workout, I mean going to rehab and jumping through the hoops.
I arrived early, filled out my paper, grabbed a monitor and my pouch to carry it. I didn't want to do the warm-up (seriously, I'm already warmed up by 9 am, I've walked the dog and more) and besides the warm up exercises just seem dumb. Blood pressure 80/50 something, off to treadmill. They check on me a few times, check BP, ask about exertion level (exertion?! at 2.5 mph?!). I went over my 10 mins, headed towards 15 and they said OK go 15, I kept going.... Off to bike, again I went over time. Then hand cycle, where I did NOT go over time. They asked about pain, yeah some, more after the session though. Like I was punched in the sternum. Before leaving I marked my ziplock bag for my pouch with a Hello Kitty "awesome" sticker :)
Tuesday an appt with Dr L, I started it off dumb and made a really unnecessary comment about something, his response was polite but told me I was out of line. I want to say it wasn't a mean thing I said, but it was mean. In the end, my only complaint was the left leg pain in bed, and he only found issue in my lower back. So the lumbar disk stuff again.
Later Tuesday I had a last-minute appt with a nutritionist in West County. So more driving. I went into this with trepidation but a forced open mind. I wanted to hear what she had to say, but didn't want to hear what I had to change or had to avoid and had to not do. I was happy to hear she'd heard of FODMAPs (but maybe not SCD) and understood the elimination/reintroduction. Her hubby is a triathlete and she was a little confused by my non-car-loading (she said I was an outlier for that) (yeah, I'm an outlier...). In the end, I should reduce saturated fat (beef, dairy), not worry so much on cholesterol, and increase soluble fiber. She also noted that my blood tests were also outliers -- that I can't attribute this to diet alone and I should follow up on lipidologist referral. She's thinking a lot of stuff, but I'm going to wait until I hear from said lipid specialist before too much speculation. And dietary change.
And don't tell anyone, but I did another 20 mins on the Bird after dinner. And I stopped taking the metoprolol blood pressure med. I felt so flat, and no energy, and no taste, and standing up was dizzying. But I'm on such a low dose, I think it's all in my head.
In the parking lot after this appt, I found a reply message from Dr A, said he put in a referral to lipid specialist. And that you can't eat your way to my blood numbers. Which, btw, were Trigs 46, HDL 135, and LDL 350. Yeah, Outliers.
Wednesday I had 2 of 36 rehab, I went in again in a forced better mood and did better. Hello Kitty helped my find my bag. I skipped the warm up and cool down (seriously, calf stretches and arm circles won't do it for me). I was allowed 20 mins on treadmill at 2.7 mph, somehow managed 30 mins haha. Again they asked about pain. And I asked if I can swim, do push-ups, or do planks (as recommended by Dr L). No, No, and No. Dammit. While on the treadmill I had mild pain come and go. Then off to the bike, where I got 4.1 miles done! Again, didn't go over on the hand cycle thing. But I did turn up the resistance and tried to get up to 90 rpms.
DK texted as I left rehab, TaraB called me at work, lunch with TV, then quiet the rest of the day. Built a spreadsheet comparing saturated fats and cholesterol in common foods, then comparison with swaps. Do I really eat that much sat fat? Denial.....
Got an appt with Dr Semenkovich for lipids, gotta wait a few weeks on that. Will I make dietary changes between now and then? Yeah, obsessive as I am.Did some research on secondary (non-genetic causes of hyperlipidemia). TV suggested looking into the bile salts connection, given my gall bladder issues, but I'm not seeing a connection yet. Then looked in to hypothyroid connection, my thyroid tests came back normal, but....?
Thursday, not much. Did 20 mins on Bird maybe.
Friday rehab -- now I can confirm a pattern of symptoms, that may or may not start on the treadmill. But definitely on the bike -- chest discomfort, throat pain mostly on left side, and mild headache. Marsha will talk to Dr W and get back to me. When she called later, it was more of the same -- is it like the initial attacks? No, but....
Saturday and Sunday -- took it easy. Wanted to hike but didn't. Mostly hung around the house and took the doggie for long slow walks. Symptoms not really notable.
Tuesday 20' on Bird (shhh not supposed to), Dr L appt, nutritionist appt
Wednesday 30 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 10 mins hand cycle
Monday I wasn't in the best of moods for rehab, why was I so negative? I guess it's my reaction to doing something new I don't want to do? Really though it wasn't hard, I don't mean the workout, I mean going to rehab and jumping through the hoops.
I arrived early, filled out my paper, grabbed a monitor and my pouch to carry it. I didn't want to do the warm-up (seriously, I'm already warmed up by 9 am, I've walked the dog and more) and besides the warm up exercises just seem dumb. Blood pressure 80/50 something, off to treadmill. They check on me a few times, check BP, ask about exertion level (exertion?! at 2.5 mph?!). I went over my 10 mins, headed towards 15 and they said OK go 15, I kept going.... Off to bike, again I went over time. Then hand cycle, where I did NOT go over time. They asked about pain, yeah some, more after the session though. Like I was punched in the sternum. Before leaving I marked my ziplock bag for my pouch with a Hello Kitty "awesome" sticker :)
Tuesday an appt with Dr L, I started it off dumb and made a really unnecessary comment about something, his response was polite but told me I was out of line. I want to say it wasn't a mean thing I said, but it was mean. In the end, my only complaint was the left leg pain in bed, and he only found issue in my lower back. So the lumbar disk stuff again.
Later Tuesday I had a last-minute appt with a nutritionist in West County. So more driving. I went into this with trepidation but a forced open mind. I wanted to hear what she had to say, but didn't want to hear what I had to change or had to avoid and had to not do. I was happy to hear she'd heard of FODMAPs (but maybe not SCD) and understood the elimination/reintroduction. Her hubby is a triathlete and she was a little confused by my non-car-loading (she said I was an outlier for that) (yeah, I'm an outlier...). In the end, I should reduce saturated fat (beef, dairy), not worry so much on cholesterol, and increase soluble fiber. She also noted that my blood tests were also outliers -- that I can't attribute this to diet alone and I should follow up on lipidologist referral. She's thinking a lot of stuff, but I'm going to wait until I hear from said lipid specialist before too much speculation. And dietary change.
And don't tell anyone, but I did another 20 mins on the Bird after dinner. And I stopped taking the metoprolol blood pressure med. I felt so flat, and no energy, and no taste, and standing up was dizzying. But I'm on such a low dose, I think it's all in my head.
In the parking lot after this appt, I found a reply message from Dr A, said he put in a referral to lipid specialist. And that you can't eat your way to my blood numbers. Which, btw, were Trigs 46, HDL 135, and LDL 350. Yeah, Outliers.
Wednesday I had 2 of 36 rehab, I went in again in a forced better mood and did better. Hello Kitty helped my find my bag. I skipped the warm up and cool down (seriously, calf stretches and arm circles won't do it for me). I was allowed 20 mins on treadmill at 2.7 mph, somehow managed 30 mins haha. Again they asked about pain. And I asked if I can swim, do push-ups, or do planks (as recommended by Dr L). No, No, and No. Dammit. While on the treadmill I had mild pain come and go. Then off to the bike, where I got 4.1 miles done! Again, didn't go over on the hand cycle thing. But I did turn up the resistance and tried to get up to 90 rpms.
DK texted as I left rehab, TaraB called me at work, lunch with TV, then quiet the rest of the day. Built a spreadsheet comparing saturated fats and cholesterol in common foods, then comparison with swaps. Do I really eat that much sat fat? Denial.....
Got an appt with Dr Semenkovich for lipids, gotta wait a few weeks on that. Will I make dietary changes between now and then? Yeah, obsessive as I am.Did some research on secondary (non-genetic causes of hyperlipidemia). TV suggested looking into the bile salts connection, given my gall bladder issues, but I'm not seeing a connection yet. Then looked in to hypothyroid connection, my thyroid tests came back normal, but....?
Thursday, not much. Did 20 mins on Bird maybe.
Friday rehab -- now I can confirm a pattern of symptoms, that may or may not start on the treadmill. But definitely on the bike -- chest discomfort, throat pain mostly on left side, and mild headache. Marsha will talk to Dr W and get back to me. When she called later, it was more of the same -- is it like the initial attacks? No, but....
Saturday and Sunday -- took it easy. Wanted to hike but didn't. Mostly hung around the house and took the doggie for long slow walks. Symptoms not really notable.
Thursday, October 4, 2018
One month post-SCAD
In a neat coincidence, I had my start of cardiac rehab one month after I was admitted for the SCAD event (until DrB changes the dx, I'm going to keep calling it that, even though the cath report and cholesterol numbers might indicate suggest otherwise). As I was driving to St Mary's this morning, I looked back on the morning I drove to the ER. What a whirlwind since then.
I'm doing OK, I think. I mean, really, considering all that's happened, I'm going OK. Good, great, even. Today is also 4 weeks into the 8 weeks of "slow walking and lifting restrictions" put in place. Half way there!
What's changed? Not terribly much. Mostly my diet. I'm now dedicated to grass fed/finished, opting for more olive oil instead of butter, aware of my saturated fat intake.
I miss training! But after 4 weeks of nothing and seeing another 4 weeks of nothing head of me, all the momentum is sucked out. When I see a runner or cyclist, I yearn for that feeling of movement and motion, wind and sun, exertion and pulse and fatigue and push.
I have not, as suggested by others, started writing a book or picked up a new hobby. To be honest, I'm not sure where my time has been going. Crossword and puzzles. SO. Selling shit from the house. Butterflies and gardens. More time in bed, some of it sleeping some of it just lying there (or is it laying there?) trying not to think.
Some of my OCD-type habits came back, they're OK, not harmful. Just quirky and re-focusing. Not the stair climbing one though. I miss that habit.
After close connections to family and friends in the first week, all the updating and news and such, I've reclused again back to normal. Not much to say, so I don't say much.
I still don't feel like a "survivor", or that I went through some harrowing life and death ordeal, but everyone around me seems to think I did. I'm still not sure if I'm disconnected from it or if they're overreacting or if I tell the story in a way that leads them to that conclusion.
But all in all I'm doing OK. No, I'm doing good!
I'm doing OK, I think. I mean, really, considering all that's happened, I'm going OK. Good, great, even. Today is also 4 weeks into the 8 weeks of "slow walking and lifting restrictions" put in place. Half way there!
What's changed? Not terribly much. Mostly my diet. I'm now dedicated to grass fed/finished, opting for more olive oil instead of butter, aware of my saturated fat intake.
I miss training! But after 4 weeks of nothing and seeing another 4 weeks of nothing head of me, all the momentum is sucked out. When I see a runner or cyclist, I yearn for that feeling of movement and motion, wind and sun, exertion and pulse and fatigue and push.
I have not, as suggested by others, started writing a book or picked up a new hobby. To be honest, I'm not sure where my time has been going. Crossword and puzzles. SO. Selling shit from the house. Butterflies and gardens. More time in bed, some of it sleeping some of it just lying there (or is it laying there?) trying not to think.
Some of my OCD-type habits came back, they're OK, not harmful. Just quirky and re-focusing. Not the stair climbing one though. I miss that habit.
After close connections to family and friends in the first week, all the updating and news and such, I've reclused again back to normal. Not much to say, so I don't say much.
I still don't feel like a "survivor", or that I went through some harrowing life and death ordeal, but everyone around me seems to think I did. I'm still not sure if I'm disconnected from it or if they're overreacting or if I tell the story in a way that leads them to that conclusion.
But all in all I'm doing OK. No, I'm doing good!
Cardiac rehab initial interview
Oh boy. I was excited about doing this, then I started it, and while I'm still excited about it now I'm feeling some sour notes. Not on them, all on me. Let's get into that a little more.
This was at short notice so I didn't have time for the info packet to reach me ahead of this appt, so I have it now and just filled it out. I can start with that. What a joke. Why does it bother me so much? Ugh. Firstly a Rate Your Plate nutrition questionnaire - do I eat skin on poultry; what spread do I use on my bread and crackers; do I pick low or high fat cuts of meat; whole grains or refined; cheese and dairy; processed foods; do I add fat when cooking or frying; how many cups of fruits and veggies (including potato, corn, and legumes), etc. It's dated 2010! So it's a bit DATED don't we think?!
I got stuck on some of the answers, I mean, I eat all meats low to high fat, so what to pick? "Spreads" seriously -- they mean tub margarine, veg oils, canola oils!! Their idea of heart healthy is margarine, whole grains, lean meats, legumes, low fat dairy. Ugh, I'm in trouble. I'm sure a balance can be found, right? I'll come back to that.
Then a questionnaire about how satisfied and how important various life factors are to me: including my health, symptoms, my family's health, children, emotional support, my usefulness to others, my education, peace of mind, faith in god, personal appearance, my neighborhood, my worries, etc etc blah blah. Rated on a scale of Very Dissatisfied or Very Satisfied, or Very Unimportant to Very Important. Same questions, different rating on a 6-point scale. I stared at this for awhile. How da fuq am I supposed to answer? While I do think about whether I'm satisfied with my neighborhood, and my neighborhood is important to me, I don't dwell on it. Where I to select Very Dissatisfied I mean, really, what are they going to do about it, move me to a new neighborhood? Where I to say that my friends are Very Unimportant to me, or even Slightly so, isn't that on me to quit bitching about and go fix?
What am I trying to say here. I dunno. Guess I mean that were I to dwell on these issues, then yeah I would be an unhappy person. So I got mad and circled all the same numbers for the first 3 of the 4 pages, then quit before I got to the 4th page about how Important it is to "have no worries" and "having a happy future" and "my personal appearance" is to me.
Then a depression screen questionnaire: How often do I have trouble with focus, energy, eating, sleeping, moving, speaking. Um let's see here, don't we all have days like this? So is it "several days", "more than half the days", "nearly every day", or "not at all". Well YEAH I have trouble focusing lately, duh!, who wouldn't. Yeah my appetite and sleep sucks, shouldn't it?! As I learned in the previous questions, it's Very Important to me. Were I to check "more than half the days" I'd sound like a depressed loser who needs a hard smack across the head. (And maybe more exercise in nature, oh, right, I can't do that shit right now). So I selected "not at all" for the answers to all questions. Seriously, I don't dwell on this shit, and if I did I WOULD be depressed.
OK so enough on the paperwork. My BP was in the 80/50 range (started the blood pressure meds yesterday) so that was "low". My oxygen was 99-100%, that was "good". My weight is "low" but "don't lose anymore" (and don't forget that my appetite is poor and my diet SUCKS according to these other forms). I walked 14.5 laps in 6 mins, and while doing so read "heart healthy" notes on the wall that don't seem to apply to me. I asked afterwards, the usual is around 15 laps. Damn, I'm slow.
Lots of asking, naturally, about my symptoms. What is the pain level? I dunno. 1? Wait JeffH says to add 2-3 points, so does that mean my pain is a 3? I wouldn't call this a 3. I just call it.....there. I'm aware of the discomfort. I can't attach a number to it. It's just a dull ache, and I think it's better to ask me if it it's better or worse. I explain that it comes and goes, sometimes bad but mostly just a discomfort. Did it hurt more when I was walking? I dunno, I ignore it and focus on walking. What does the Dr say about it? They don't know either. They aren't worried, so neither am I. Until it gets worse, I'll call it Very Unimportant to me. Although I'm Somewhat Dissatisfied with the lack of answers about it.
Geez I'm really bitching about this! lol. I'm just letting off steam.
Good news -- Some rehab patients do get to run in rehab! If I have a few good sessions I might could do the bike trainer and light swimming (but no bike commute it seems). The woman running the rehab is great and supportive and athletic, so she'll be good to work with.
Why did this bother me so much? I guess I don't like being questioned? I don't like the probing of my habits and choices? I don't like admitting that I have symptoms of depression (and going back to that, again, WHO WOULDN'T?!). I'm not sure why it irked me so much, these questions. The rehab itself seems like it will be great, so I'm going to put my focus there and away from these boilerplate forms that don't really apply to me.
OK i'm gonna stop now. haha, enough.
This was at short notice so I didn't have time for the info packet to reach me ahead of this appt, so I have it now and just filled it out. I can start with that. What a joke. Why does it bother me so much? Ugh. Firstly a Rate Your Plate nutrition questionnaire - do I eat skin on poultry; what spread do I use on my bread and crackers; do I pick low or high fat cuts of meat; whole grains or refined; cheese and dairy; processed foods; do I add fat when cooking or frying; how many cups of fruits and veggies (including potato, corn, and legumes
I got stuck on some of the answers, I mean, I eat all meats low to high fat, so what to pick? "Spreads" seriously -- they mean tub margarine, veg oils, canola oils!! Their idea of heart healthy is margarine, whole grains, lean meats, legumes, low fat dairy. Ugh, I'm in trouble. I'm sure a balance can be found, right? I'll come back to that.
Then a questionnaire about how satisfied and how important various life factors are to me: including my health, symptoms, my family's health, children, emotional support, my usefulness to others, my education, peace of mind, faith in god, personal appearance, my neighborhood, my worries, etc etc blah blah. Rated on a scale of Very Dissatisfied or Very Satisfied, or Very Unimportant to Very Important. Same questions, different rating on a 6-point scale. I stared at this for awhile. How da fuq am I supposed to answer? While I do think about whether I'm satisfied with my neighborhood, and my neighborhood is important to me, I don't dwell on it. Where I to select Very Dissatisfied I mean, really, what are they going to do about it, move me to a new neighborhood? Where I to say that my friends are Very Unimportant to me, or even Slightly so, isn't that on me to quit bitching about and go fix?
What am I trying to say here. I dunno. Guess I mean that were I to dwell on these issues, then yeah I would be an unhappy person. So I got mad and circled all the same numbers for the first 3 of the 4 pages, then quit before I got to the 4th page about how Important it is to "have no worries" and "having a happy future" and "my personal appearance" is to me.
Then a depression screen questionnaire: How often do I have trouble with focus, energy, eating, sleeping, moving, speaking. Um let's see here, don't we all have days like this? So is it "several days", "more than half the days", "nearly every day", or "not at all". Well YEAH I have trouble focusing lately, duh!, who wouldn't. Yeah my appetite and sleep sucks, shouldn't it?! As I learned in the previous questions, it's Very Important to me. Were I to check "more than half the days" I'd sound like a depressed loser who needs a hard smack across the head. (And maybe more exercise in nature, oh, right, I can't do that shit right now). So I selected "not at all" for the answers to all questions. Seriously, I don't dwell on this shit, and if I did I WOULD be depressed.
OK so enough on the paperwork. My BP was in the 80/50 range (started the blood pressure meds yesterday) so that was "low". My oxygen was 99-100%, that was "good". My weight is "low" but "don't lose anymore" (and don't forget that my appetite is poor and my diet SUCKS according to these other forms). I walked 14.5 laps in 6 mins, and while doing so read "heart healthy" notes on the wall that don't seem to apply to me. I asked afterwards, the usual is around 15 laps. Damn, I'm slow.
Lots of asking, naturally, about my symptoms. What is the pain level? I dunno. 1? Wait JeffH says to add 2-3 points, so does that mean my pain is a 3? I wouldn't call this a 3. I just call it.....there. I'm aware of the discomfort. I can't attach a number to it. It's just a dull ache, and I think it's better to ask me if it it's better or worse. I explain that it comes and goes, sometimes bad but mostly just a discomfort. Did it hurt more when I was walking? I dunno, I ignore it and focus on walking. What does the Dr say about it? They don't know either. They aren't worried, so neither am I. Until it gets worse, I'll call it Very Unimportant to me. Although I'm Somewhat Dissatisfied with the lack of answers about it.
Geez I'm really bitching about this! lol. I'm just letting off steam.
Good news -- Some rehab patients do get to run in rehab! If I have a few good sessions I might could do the bike trainer and light swimming (but no bike commute it seems). The woman running the rehab is great and supportive and athletic, so she'll be good to work with.
Why did this bother me so much? I guess I don't like being questioned? I don't like the probing of my habits and choices? I don't like admitting that I have symptoms of depression (and going back to that, again, WHO WOULDN'T?!). I'm not sure why it irked me so much, these questions. The rehab itself seems like it will be great, so I'm going to put my focus there and away from these boilerplate forms that don't really apply to me.
OK i'm gonna stop now. haha, enough.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Nutrition review, more tests, more prescriptions
DrA sent a message that my thyroid results were normal, but he'd like to see a 3 day food log, that he's never seen anyone "eat their way into high cholesterol", and he's respectful of the keto/low carb diet for athletes, and of my food limits.
So September was way out of normal for food log, I'm now over-aware of eating "healthy", not eating as much with stomach upset, and just out of whack. So I picked three random days in August. Here's what I sent. This averaged over time to be 20-50g of saturated fat a day, and I looked up the recommendations to be 13g of SF for 2000 calories. Huh?
So September was way out of normal for food log, I'm now over-aware of eating "healthy", not eating as much with stomach upset, and just out of whack. So I picked three random days in August. Here's what I sent. This averaged over time to be 20-50g of saturated fat a day, and I looked up the recommendations to be 13g of SF for 2000 calories. Huh?
I will promptly start the statins. And it would be prudent for me to follow up with a lipid specialist. To my understanding, Dr Braverman put in a consult for a nutritionist.
I tend to eat the same foods all week by doing a bulk meal prep on weekends, and purposefully avoid buying the same foods week after week. I log foods so I can track any symptoms from re-introducing new foods. Recent new foods include avocado and nuts, with limited success. Shown below are three random days from my food log in August before the heart symptoms started. September was not typical due to stress, schedule disruption, and subsequent stomach upset. When I review averages by week, my food log program says 20-50g of saturated fat per day, and 300-900 mg cholesterol.
I strictly avoid added sugar and grains, avoid as much as possible vegetable oils. I'm not at all prone to nibbles of candies or cookies or snacks. Rarely eat in restaurants. And supplement with a prebiotic, protiotic, antioxidant "greens" powder starting in late August. Not in the log is 1-2 cups a day of home-brewed strong Kombucha, 1-2T of raw ACV, and 1-2 tsp added salt to recipes (my blend of iodized, potassium salt, and sea salt).
Day #1
4 oz ground beef, as measured raw
0.5 c pineapple
2 oz beef liver, measured raw
0.13 c coconut milk
1.5 T tomato paste
1 T sunflower seeds
3 oz beef chuck roast
1 cup steamed carrots
3 egg
1 T butter
2 oz pork rinds
2 clementine oranges
Day #2 (did a 5K this day)
1c 5% fat Fage yogurt
~ 1 cup blackberries
half banana
4 oz ribeye steak, as measured raw
3 eggs
2 pieces bacon
0.5c home brew whole milk kefir
2 Clementine orange
4 oz pork rinds
1 cup whole milk kefir
0.5 can of salmon
1T olive oil
Day #3
2 oz unsweetened chocolate
5 macadamia nuts
3 eggs + 3 egg whites
0.25 avocado
1 oz chicken liver
1 T butter
6 oz 85% ground beef, measured raw
2 clementine oranges
1 cup whole milk kefir
And since no experiment comparing a before and after is complete without, well, a before, here's three days in August 2014:
Mayhaps a peek into the "before" eating when my cholesterol numbers were lower will provide insight. I have food logs back to 2014 when symptoms were the worst and I was still learning what caused problems. Here are the same August days in 2014. The biggest difference I see between the before/after is addition of red meats and removal of most all fruits, vegetables, and grains. While 2014 is what the AHA might call "heart healthy" my logs also show daily GI symptoms, missed work, and rapid weight loss at this time.
Day #1 ran 6 miles Half banana
1 T Ghee butter
2 egg whites
Quinoa rice cereal
5 strawberries
1.2 pint blueberries
0.5 c ricotta cheese
Kiwi fruit
Orange
2 scoops protein powder
1 T ghee
1.5 cup sweet potato
2 cup cantaloupe
3 oz ground chicken
2 c eggplant
2 c zucchini
1 c daikon radish
1 banana
Day #2 ran 4 miles 1 egg
0.5T ghee butter
Large sweet potato
Banana
¼ c cranberries
2 cup green beans
1 oz prosciutto
2 eggs
2 cups mixed greens
0.5c rice
3 carrot
3 c eggplant
1 tomato
3 oz ground chicken
Rice and quinoa cereal
0.5c walnuts
2 clementine oranges
1 scoop protein powder
Day #3 no training
0.25 c walnuts
1 scoop protein powder
Medium sweet potato
3T maple syrup
Quinoa and rice cereal
2T coconut butter
1c carrot chopped
2 eggs
1 c white potato
2 pieces bacon
6 egg white
Banana
2T Almond butter
medium sweet potato
2 cup green beans
WOW I can't believe what I used to eat, the variety and foods I haven't' thought of in years! This was 2014, I was already low FODMAP and I didn't start SCD until June 2015. Then in late 2016 started NSNG, then in December 2017 started Keto, and in 2018 removed most all veg from my diet.
I will grant that my current foods could promote high cholesterol. Question is, what types of changes can I make? Assuming the high saturated fats are a culprit -- that includes dairy, red meat, my chocolate (to my surprise!). Swap out a red meat meal for more fish? Swap out butter for more olive oil?
As I'm typing, got calls from DrB office. The Crestor prescription is in and she gave me side effects heads up. Ugh. Also the genetic testing office will call me.
Another call -- in addition to my CT for pelvic and abdomen on Oct 29th he's adding in an "echo" ECG.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Hello October. Let the medical appointments begin
Stuff like this is harder to type up, it comes out random and less than complete. But here goes.
Last Thursday I emailed BenG and asked permission to email DrB with Ben's wife's name as reference. Emailed DrB Thursday, and he replied with his pager and office appt number. Friday morning I called office to start appt process, was told there was a review process. Figured I'd hear back in abt 2 week. Went down the hall for tea, saw DrRavi, shared my DrB news, turns out DrB is also his cardiologist! And DrR likes him for open and scientific approach. I tentatively email DrB with DrR's recommendation to "say I speak highly of him", let DrB I called office to start appt process. Went home. Came to work Saturday morning and found email from DrB offering to see me Monday 8:15!! If I hadn't come to work, I would have missed this!
So OF COURSE I said yes and went. He's awesome! Best 75 mins of medical time spent. Here's a run-down, in and out of order and as I think of it. Nothing I could have done differently, if it's a SCAD. It happens to couch potatoes and athletes. He's going to review St Mary's imaging with a team of interventionists to be sure it's SCAD, and that things look the way they should. He's prescribing a blood pressure lowering med at a very low dose, since I'm motivated and aware of my body, if I can tolerate the side effects it might speed healing. Prescribing nitroglycerin for acute attacks, should another occur. Scheduling CT of pelvis, abdomen, and neck to screen for vascular disorders. Found out later he also wants an "echo". He will retest the cholesterol, says my LDL of 318 is "the highest he's seen". Says statins aren't proven to be of benefit yet for SCAD. Explained how a tear can form a second lumen in the artery, how it clogs the artery. Reviewed the cath lab report from Dr Thanigaraj with me and described the coronary artery vasculature, the branches and the proximal and distal and etc. Said genetic testing is "low yield", costs $5000 uninsured and as low as $100 with insurance and "discounts". Answered all questions. Was direct, wasn't wavering or evasive, solid answers, familiar with athletes and recommended the IronHeart Foundation. Stressed the need to just rest and recover right now, was encouraging in that I can come back to training and athletics if things heal up right. And best of all, he was affirming, said that I've "been through a lot, it's a lot to process" and that I look good. Why does that seem to hard for others to say? And why do I need to hear it?
Needless to say, I was immensely pleased after this. Got my blood drawn for the lipid panel, found out they could expedite the test to have it for my appt later today, went back to work. Busy day!
Later that afternoon appt with DrA. His asst was familiar with my story, apparently I was office news. Of course. DrA comes in with just a "wtf you doin' woman?!" look on his face, lol. No better way to describe it. Updated him on everything, he was mostly up to date already and knew about appt with DrB. We talked about the cholesterol numbers (new results not in yet), low carb/keto diet, his races and his fall on Greenrock, lol. He's supportive of the low carb and familiar with it, gawd bless that! He ordered a thyroid panel, just in case. Talked about Maffetone diet and training, maybe he means MAF for my upcoming cardiac rehab too? Told me about his experience in cardiac rehab after a valve replacement, how he covered 10 mins on the treadmill in his first appt and was told "never come back again" and "you just passed cardiac rehab". LOL!! Reminded me to not get discouraged by the potentially slow pace of rehab. What else... talked about dietary cholesterol and blood cholesterol not being directly linked, but that cholesterol loves to stick to vessel damage, and I have vessel damage. Showed me an app he has for reading pubs for CME credits and his search history included MCT oil and fasting mimicking diet and more stuff I've been reading on myself. He showed me an article that indicated that MCT oil does NOT change blood lipids. Just last week I looked at MCT oil and decided against because it's saturate fats. He's going to send a note to DrB about my diet. Another Great appt for the day!!
On the way home, stopped for gas, and while stopped DrB called. My cholesterol numbers are the same: TG's in the 40-50, HDL in the 120 range, and LD still over 300. He's prescribing Crestor, and I get retested in 8 weeks. Jeezus Krist. I'm a mess.
He's also going to connect me to a nutritionist it sounds like. I'm working on the mental part of that. Trying to make sure I keep an open mind, don't go in defensive. I've spent so much time and research on my diet to have it thrown out so fast, but maybe something's gotta change!! So some stress there. I'm sure there will be more on this soon.
Friday, September 28, 2018
Patience Perseverance Perspective
Summary of 4th week from event, or 3 weeks after event, or however you choose to look at it.
I called the Dr office and left a message with this, noting that symptoms seem to worsen after I stand up and/or start walking. But the for the past hour it's been continuous. My HR at 60 ish, seated. Should be lower? Is this anxiety?
This past Tuesday marked 3 weeks, my counter says 23 days, when I count the calendar I get 4 weeks. What-f'ing-ever.
Hooo I'm not a great mood am I? Today is Thursday, I haven't been sleeping great, no appetite (I get hungry sometimes but don't feel like eating), I'm bored.
And all day lots of chest.... pain? discomfort? sensation? You know that feeling you get after holding your breath, like your chest is cold and your heart bounding? That feeling.
I called the Dr office and left a message with this, noting that symptoms seem to worsen after I stand up and/or start walking. But the for the past hour it's been continuous. My HR at 60 ish, seated. Should be lower? Is this anxiety?
Monday in lab meeting after we switched rooms my symptoms shot up, and TM noticed that I wasn't OK. I said "it hurts" but didn't go further. And worked to hide it better. That night I started a rant text to TH and TB but didn't send it. Don't want to be a Symptom Sissy. A Negative Nan. A Debbie Downer.
Wednesday TB called me, she said she learned Patience Perseverance and Perspective going through her schtuff. She's about 1-3 months ahead of me in mental recovery and her advice is so far my favorite. Only TB and TH let me rant without trying to fix me, they affirm and accept how I feel. No push back, no fixing, no "well you need to {insert crazy idea here}".
Today I also contacted St Mary's medical records office to get the info started for the Mayo Clinic research study. I contacted BenG to get info, then emailed Dr Braverman to get that ball rolling. On Monday I see Dr Avery.
In sum total, is all this causing my stress? The uncertainty? The wondering? The waiting? I don't feel overtly stressed, but it's gotta be there.
What else is going on? Random: Sold a stack of history WW2 books yesterday. Might sell my dining room table and chairs tonight, if the neighbor shows up this time. SO build a third caterpillar cage for me Saturday. Currently listening to my favorite LOTR soundtrack mix to calm myself. However, in an anti-calming effort I'm trying to burn it to MP3 or AAC to listen offline.
Friday update. Sold the table! To a triathlete, who's from Iowa, who lives on Compton, who went to WashU. Realized on this morning's walk that the table has now gone from Wyoming to Compton to Wyoming and now back to Compton!
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Hobbit Day and Frodo
This was a caterpillar SO gave me right after I came out of the hospital. For once, my cat didn't DIE on me after hanging in a J. She (figured out she was a she only once she came out of chrysalis) went into chrysalis on Sept 14th, and my quick math said should might could emerge on Sept 24th, a full Moon Day!!
I eagerly and carefully waited :)
On Friday Sept 21th the chrysalis changed from green to black! SOON!
On Saturday the 22nd, aka Hobbits Day for both Bilbo's and Frodo's birthdays, the chrysalis turned clear and I could see the orange wings folded inside. I watched and researched how to know "when" and waited. My iphone camera hasn't been working lately, it freezes up and pixelates. But the front-facing camera works, and I decided to test for the first time a time-lapse. While I was testing, NO JOKE, the chrysalis cracked open!!! That really happened! So I got a few short videos of my butterfly emerging. Once determined to be a female, she was christened Frodo :)
Texted SO, send picts to Kaitlynn, imaged more, and waited happily while she pumped up her wings and started her "new" life.
SO suggested taking her out to a warm place, so I took her to the front yard. She walked on my hand and my arm while in the sun. SO came by later and took me shopping for my 3rd whiskey barrel planter :) I'm gonna have ALL the butterflies next summer.
Frodo hung out on the fence and in my 2nd planter with the white butterfly bushes, but didn't fly off. Some concern about this. I brought inside overnight in case the temps dropped.
Sunday morning I took her back outside to the orange milkweed. She still didn't take off, seemed to hang tentatively and clumsily on the flowers. Other monarchs same in to feed on the orange flowers, and they only knocked her off. I'd pick her back up, only to have her fall back again.
Not good. Sadly, by the end of the day she wasn't moving and I had to declare her dead.
I brought her back inside to the kitchen, and she's been there ever since. SO suggested putting her in a glass frame, still haven't done that yet (it's been at least a week).
So why am I writing this up about a dead butterfly? As she went into her chrysalis and I waited for her full moon arrival, I formed an attachment with the parallels to my new life. Here I was coming out of the SCAD events and hospital to my own new life, at the same time here was my little cat doing the same. It seemed so.....omen....and you know I love that shit.
But....she died?! Do I still see the parallel? I do. My silly mind rationalized that stayed behind to remind me, so I could see her everyday. And remember what we went through. I know...silly, but that's me.
And now OF COURSE I want a monarch tattoo, but I gotta wait. LOL.
Friday, September 21, 2018
Two week follow up appt, increase in pain and stress
Tuesday, after the dog's walk I went out on my own for a walk to Grand along Arsenal, back on Wyo. This felt great!! But did it contribute to the increase in chest pain/pressure/? I felt the rest of the day?
Wednesday, my follow up appt at St M's. I saw Deborah a CNP. And TH joined me, thankfully, as I was rolling ideas around in my head and wasn't sure I'd absorb it all. I think I did. Summary:
--I should be taking the statins, however, I'm still not on board with the idea. She said my LDL is "High, really high". Uh huh, at 318. And my TG and HDL are phenom, but that's being ignored? My argument is that I still haven't seen evidence that my bad LDL (the small dense type) is high. And until the LipoProfile or NMR is done, I'm not convinced. Her second attempt to convince me went along the lines of "statins lower inflammation", sorry but that's weak. I'm open to taking it, when the evidence is solid.
--the pain/pressure I'm feeling, worse today than yesterday but not bad like the attacks were. It's just a persistent and constant ... pressure? I think it could be anxiety too. It's definitely not my back, I can rule that out.
--My EKG (I think done to reassure me) was somewhat abnormal, but not such that they were concerned. And it's possible that it's still changes from 2 weeks ago events.
--NO ACTIVITY. No I can't ride my trainer, even in HR zone 0. Boooo. For a total of 8 weeks, full rest, dog walk only, and less than a gallon of milk. Boooo......
--My backpack was even weighed! Came in at 7.64 pounds.
--Testing for potential causes will be handed off to my PCP. There's many ways this could go for follow up: rheumatologist, more vascular, immune, metabolic/gut, and those further branch into genetic, environmental, functional, etc. So that's on hold until I see him October 1st.
--The only way to know if the 3rd tear is healing is by another catheterization. And there's no need to do that unless the symptoms indicate the need.
--I CAN NOT stop taking the anti-platelet therapy drugs. Do not miss a dose, do not stop taking them for dental work or surgery unless they've talked to the cardio office. They seemed amused and scared that I was "testing" my bruising abilities to see how much or how little pressure it took. Gotta know, right?
--What else.... ?
--I picked up my discharge record and got started on getting a copy of the catheterization procedure. I'll put that in another post once I have it all. I really want to know the details of what, why, where, how, and more. So I'm learning more anatomy and lingo.
Thursday. Still have pressure/pain in my chest, but figuring that "it's nothing" I went for another long walk and tacked on a super-easy no-resistance trainer ride. My hip appreciated that! Don't tell anyone.
Friday. Today, as I'm writing this. Seated, with the same chest feelings. It's no better or worse than the past few days, and I'm still telling myself "it's nothing" based on the EKG. I just need to learn to deal with it.
A few low moments this week when people react to my news. Most express shock, disbelief. I'm finding that I don't want to talk about it much. But I'm accumulating a list of things to NOT say to someone like me, including
-- read a book, or watch a movie. I nearly died. Or so I'm told. That's not going to help.
--you just need another hobby. Yup, it's a simple as that.
--you should pray more. So this is my fault for not praying enough? Seriously, I think God has it out for me.
Wednesday, my follow up appt at St M's. I saw Deborah a CNP. And TH joined me, thankfully, as I was rolling ideas around in my head and wasn't sure I'd absorb it all. I think I did. Summary:
--I should be taking the statins, however, I'm still not on board with the idea. She said my LDL is "High, really high". Uh huh, at 318. And my TG and HDL are phenom, but that's being ignored? My argument is that I still haven't seen evidence that my bad LDL (the small dense type) is high. And until the LipoProfile or NMR is done, I'm not convinced. Her second attempt to convince me went along the lines of "statins lower inflammation", sorry but that's weak. I'm open to taking it, when the evidence is solid.
--the pain/pressure I'm feeling, worse today than yesterday but not bad like the attacks were. It's just a persistent and constant ... pressure? I think it could be anxiety too. It's definitely not my back, I can rule that out.
--My EKG (I think done to reassure me) was somewhat abnormal, but not such that they were concerned. And it's possible that it's still changes from 2 weeks ago events.
--NO ACTIVITY. No I can't ride my trainer, even in HR zone 0. Boooo. For a total of 8 weeks, full rest, dog walk only, and less than a gallon of milk. Boooo......
--My backpack was even weighed! Came in at 7.64 pounds.
--Testing for potential causes will be handed off to my PCP. There's many ways this could go for follow up: rheumatologist, more vascular, immune, metabolic/gut, and those further branch into genetic, environmental, functional, etc. So that's on hold until I see him October 1st.
--The only way to know if the 3rd tear is healing is by another catheterization. And there's no need to do that unless the symptoms indicate the need.
--I CAN NOT stop taking the anti-platelet therapy drugs. Do not miss a dose, do not stop taking them for dental work or surgery unless they've talked to the cardio office. They seemed amused and scared that I was "testing" my bruising abilities to see how much or how little pressure it took. Gotta know, right?
--What else.... ?
--I picked up my discharge record and got started on getting a copy of the catheterization procedure. I'll put that in another post once I have it all. I really want to know the details of what, why, where, how, and more. So I'm learning more anatomy and lingo.
Thursday. Still have pressure/pain in my chest, but figuring that "it's nothing" I went for another long walk and tacked on a super-easy no-resistance trainer ride. My hip appreciated that! Don't tell anyone.
Friday. Today, as I'm writing this. Seated, with the same chest feelings. It's no better or worse than the past few days, and I'm still telling myself "it's nothing" based on the EKG. I just need to learn to deal with it.
A few low moments this week when people react to my news. Most express shock, disbelief. I'm finding that I don't want to talk about it much. But I'm accumulating a list of things to NOT say to someone like me, including
-- read a book, or watch a movie. I nearly died. Or so I'm told. That's not going to help.
--you just need another hobby. Yup, it's a simple as that.
--you should pray more. So this is my fault for not praying enough? Seriously, I think God has it out for me.
Monday, September 17, 2018
OK time for some SCAD thoughts, not just schedule reporting.
This will be random.
First off, I'm writing this on Sept 17th, two weeks post events. My symptoms are seemingly better? I still get chest pain but less frequent than last week. It's a tight feeling, less pain than pressure. I get sometimes a fluttery/cold feeling in my chest and throat. A few times I had throat pain and tightening but it was short-lived. The chest pressure feeling makes me catch my breath, I stop and think and wait and wonder.... but it goes away.
So I wonder, is it heart symptoms or anxiety? A Vanderbilt study reported that 46.5% of survivors experienced chest pain after a SCAD event. I'm guessing I'm one of them, and just rolling with it. Taking the advice of -- if it gets worse or radiates into the neck and/or arm then get worried. So far, not much of that.
And the "survivors" thing. When I look online I see women talking about being a "survivor". How the event changed and scared them. I don't connect with those feelings, they don't land with me. Yet? I don't feel like a survivor. I feel like, well of course I survived. Dad pointed out that maybe since I didn't have the full ambulance/resuscitation/dire emergency experience that it's not the same life-changing event for me? And in retrospect, I was never really afraid, never sitting in fear for my life. I remember being calm and just taking the days one at a time. So I survived, but I'm not calling myself a survivor.
People keep saying "I'm so glad you're alive" and again I think, well of course I am.
I found a necklace pendant that says "God gives us only what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I'm a BAD-ASS". lol Badass Bee.
I texted TH today about her coming to my Weds cardio appt. I'm really focused on this appt, listing and questioning and researching. So many questions. I mentioned to her that I can't distinguish chest pain from anxiety, and I don't trust myself to even try. Also mentioned that were I to have another attack, I don't trust myself to tell anyone else for fear that the rest of my athletic life would be taken away from me.
First off, I'm writing this on Sept 17th, two weeks post events. My symptoms are seemingly better? I still get chest pain but less frequent than last week. It's a tight feeling, less pain than pressure. I get sometimes a fluttery/cold feeling in my chest and throat. A few times I had throat pain and tightening but it was short-lived. The chest pressure feeling makes me catch my breath, I stop and think and wait and wonder.... but it goes away.
So I wonder, is it heart symptoms or anxiety? A Vanderbilt study reported that 46.5% of survivors experienced chest pain after a SCAD event. I'm guessing I'm one of them, and just rolling with it. Taking the advice of -- if it gets worse or radiates into the neck and/or arm then get worried. So far, not much of that.
And the "survivors" thing. When I look online I see women talking about being a "survivor". How the event changed and scared them. I don't connect with those feelings, they don't land with me. Yet? I don't feel like a survivor. I feel like, well of course I survived. Dad pointed out that maybe since I didn't have the full ambulance/resuscitation/dire emergency experience that it's not the same life-changing event for me? And in retrospect, I was never really afraid, never sitting in fear for my life. I remember being calm and just taking the days one at a time. So I survived, but I'm not calling myself a survivor.
People keep saying "I'm so glad you're alive" and again I think, well of course I am.
I found a necklace pendant that says "God gives us only what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I'm a BAD-ASS". lol Badass Bee.
I texted TH today about her coming to my Weds cardio appt. I'm really focused on this appt, listing and questioning and researching. So many questions. I mentioned to her that I can't distinguish chest pain from anxiety, and I don't trust myself to even try. Also mentioned that were I to have another attack, I don't trust myself to tell anyone else for fear that the rest of my athletic life would be taken away from me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)