Second week of June, still in gym

Monday morning STRENGTH upper, afternoon treadmill RUN 4 miles 55 mins

Tuesday rest and new PT appointment
Wednesday morning SWIM 25 mins 700 yards, afternoon treadmill RUN 70 mins 5 miles

Thursday rest

Friday morning STENGTH lower

Saturday

Sunday REGISTERED for the Firewater 50K!

Two a days continue at gym. I'm not running outside, walking much outside, and missing out on heat adaptations. Treadmills runs are now up to 4 min run, 1 min walk and still at 12 min/mile pace. Left foot/toe is noticed while running, OK, but should get attention. Hip - fine. 

Meals? Ugh. Same issue of drifting to 1200-1500 to 1600 maybe. I was 1500-2000 before, now the average closer to 1200. Same issue of "no change". Really? Am I in denial or some shit? Well, I still don't sit, plate, or pay attention. No change, until something changes. 

Friday - a slight maybe better fit to my jeans?! Working on a more sustainable, aka doable, meal plan with copilot. I just want to eat protein powder with peanut butter and ghee and oats and ugh. 

Registered! On a New Supermoon day! 

131 days to race.

55 days to first goal. 

First week of June - still in the gym. 134.8 and 14.8%

Monday - STRENGTH upper in the morning, then ELLIPTICAL 10 mins, RUN/WALK 50 mins

Tuesday - rest
Wednesday - RUN/WALK treadmill same as Monday: ~2 mins run, then ~1.25 min walk

Thursday - rest

Friday - RUN/WALK treadmill 3'run/2'walk at ~5.5 

Saturday - 

Sunday - 

Monday was another two-a-day. Strength for upper body in the morning (still tight as I update on Wednesday) then we went back during the NSCC class. Aurora logged 7 miles on a recumbant bike! I did a warm up on an uncomfortable elliptical to loosed up an oddly pain-tight right knee, then switched to treadmill. Still slow at 5 min/mile but going for 50 mins is a new stretch for me. I did about 0.15-0.20 mile in about 2 mins, then walked to the 0.25 mark to start the next run.

Tuesday rest! Needed it. I'd set a goal for today of being one of the 800 days, but I failed it with 7 rice cakes upon coming home. I hit 1300 ish, a fail for the day. I'm still not noticing changes, and days like this are why! I remembered this morning while running that in 2016 I did 800, but used training to balance it out. Looking at MFP, I was eating much more variety of veggies and foods than now, and Oh Geezus I see a 242 sugar listed. And it was 118.8 then. 

Wednesday hour in the morning, repeat the treadmill intervals. I don't feel like I can extend the run interval or speed up much just yet. I'm happy to say thought that the hip does NOT hurt, the left big toe only mildly does, and all feels great. 

Rest then repeat. I'm also repeating rice cakes, and after lamenting again the lack of change while walking the dog last night - I realized that I'd eaten 1500 (more?) of calories that day, when the plan was for an 800 fast. Twice as much. How? 3 rice cakes, canned pumpkin, oatmeal (dry, uncooked!), watermelon). Then extra salmon. I came home to Moria and it won. 

I'm listening to the audiobook Embrace the Suck, and that book started going through my head, especially in the last 10 mins of this morning's run. My headphones had died, but my head didn't. So I was thinking. I'd find myself repeated deflecting from me to think about kids or Lev. Wrong. Me. Think about me. I could see the 2016 me of 115 lbs looking at me. Lean, strong, fast. 800s then too but with heavy endurance training. But unhealthy habits. Mentally fucked over. 

By Aug 2nd it was the lowest, more ways than one. And my goal this year is Aug 9th: end of summer, end of Army, and end of Scatha. End of Moria, binged rice cakes, canned foods, creamy mashes, etc etc etc. End of 134.8. 

Goal by Aug 9th: under 125. Able to run half marathon straight through. Biking and swimming as support. But mostly end of the 130's. Last time for that - May 2019. With Balrog, Monster, and total mental fuckery. 

How: continue the gym habit, but include strength and stretch, you're too old for the old ways - find new ones. rewrite coming home to Moria, now the first new habit is closet on zero = chocolate or none. And  sit to eat. Two simple changes to start NOW. 

The gym habit is back, but don't forget the outdoors is there too

Tuesday - rest!
Wednesday morning: 15 mins treadmill with 0.5 mile RUN, then STRENGTH lower body
Wednesday evening!: 15 mins treadmill WALK, ELLIPTICAL 30  mins, some random strength with kids

Thursday rest, legs are sore

Friday SWIM 20 mins, maybe 500-600? My estimate last week of 700-800 was high!

Saturday Ren Faire

Sunday Catchup, nothing but walking, ugh

Wednesday two-a-day! Not by plan. All kids wanted to go to gym at 6am, aurora slept in. Then in afternoon they wanted to go back while Arlette was at her A&P class. The morning thing worked, I can keep doing that since I was there before 9am. And the evening thing worked as we had time to kill anyway. Busy but a learning day. 

Thursday the rest of them took off for a 2-day trip to eastern TN leaving me to plan a SWIM after work if I can get the Letter of Recommedation, World Courier, and ELISA shit finished. Oh, and the Seahorse analysis. 

As for the fast 800, I'm "stuck" (mentally) at 1200 and continue the not-hungry-at-all nibbles. Results, please. 

Memorial Day weekend

Friday SWIM (OMG) 20 mins about 700 uncounted yards
Saturday Treadmille WALK/RUN 30 mins 2 miles, STRENGTH lower body. ELLIPTICAL 20 mins HIIT
Sunday WALK at house 3 miles
Monday Treadmill WALK/RUN 15 mins 1 mile, warm up. STRENGTH upper body. ELLIPTICAL 20 mins another HIIT. Then waterfall hikes.

Walking into work today, I looked back and remembered the TrailNet Memorial Day rides. I miss it. 

I feel great, walking feels strong. But my female hormones are still messed up, upper swollen and painful for over a week now. Legs swollen, but that's due to SALT likely. 

Today a week of trying the Fast800. I keep doing 1200, and that's a way more honest "1200" (really more like 1500-2000+). I was trying for the past year or so. Since Friday 9pm start of summer - no cheese other than babybell, no rice cakes, but not for wanting of having them!

Disappointed that there's not change yet!! Patience? Denial? Hormones? 

I have a gym membership again!

 STRENGTH 25 mins of upper body/posture

WALK/RUN 64 mins in 1(3) intervals, 17 mins of running total

I have a gym membership again! It's been since I left AA two years ago. I kept thinking I'd save the money from a membership and apply it to a home gym. But no, this didn't happen. Walking running and biking are OK from home but the rest of it....not inspiring. Apple Fitness home gym, I tried it but it's not enough. 

So yesterday I did an upper body workout. Today if I can I'll SWIM and holy shit how long has it been - 2023? My last swim in AA in that itty bitty pool wasn't comfortable. I ended up with a headache from poor form and struggled through 20 mins of it. And I'm excited about it now?!

I have a great discount and waived fees, that helps!

Also this week started the 800 fast again. Started Tuesday and yesterday was 0/3 success. I'm closer to 1200 (ha, the original goal I was supposed to be at) but not goal 800. That's the goal for 14 days, then go from there. Two meals isn't hard, but ugh I found rice cakes again after months of no rice cakes. Stop it, as Bob Newhart would say. STOP IT!

The kids arrive tonight! Then summer, I'm excited and nervous, as always. I look forward to doing things with them and hope the feeling is mutual. 

Right hip MRI

MRI this morning for the right hip. After Dr Fitch said that he expected to find a labral tear, it's as if a veil of denial fell and I have to wonder if I knew all along and ignored it? Because this does feel like an impingement. 

I ran a little bit Tuesday and still on Thursday it hurts more. Walking to the MRI with a limp...

The left foot bunion-ish toe still hurts. My left hip mildly hurts and pops. It's been doing that, but I attributed it to limping and being off balance. 

I reviewed the notes from 2017 surgery. No driving, no work, boarded dog, time with mom, months of PT. I know, it's not confirmed that I'm getting surgery, but my mind is already there. Next step is to wait for the MRI reading, wait to meet with Dr F for a follow up, wait for the inner hip (or outer, if it's a tendon!) injection, then wait to decide on surgery. 

So, wait. 

Right hip, Menopause, Insulin Resistance

RUN WALK 1.56 miles in 23 mins

Yesterday I saw Dr Fitch in orthopedics about my right hip. He expects to find a labrum tear, mostly because I'm a runner. It may or not be the cause of the pain, but he's suspecting an impingement and that to be one potential source. 

And as I digested this, yes, I might agree. I ignore willfully the fact that inside the joint often hurts too. But I'm holding off on more of this until the MRI is one and read.

I don't have overt menopause symptoms, besides hair loss the last few months. Meno Belly too, I fear. In reading about it and still trying to optimize my diet (I've been 40% protein lately and Unsatisfied) I'm learning that the 16:8 IF and low carb are helpful here. 

I work with AI more now, although ChapGPT is hung up on things in the last 6 months, when I ask Copilot he comes up with suggestions I can work with. 

GPT didn't tell me that high protein is for rebuilding, not energy, and that it drives gluconeogenesis. Es verdad?! So I'm shifting from 40% protein over to 40% fat. 

More later. 

No Fooling Here: 1300 days and 2500 days

Yesterday -WALK RUN 2.1 miles in 35 mins!! STRENGTH 10 mins upper and 10 mins core

Nice, a real entry almost. 

3-30 was the day gramma L died, is that what I was thinking of? 

Today April 1st. Tomorrow Full moon, wedding anniversary. Today 1300 days no M and 2498 days no Balrog. 808 days NoS NoF. 

53 days left to my end of May goal. What is the goal? Under 130. I don't think that was a solid goal even just a few mins ago, but that's it. 

I was 129.8 after San Antonio, then back to 132 soon after. I'd quit eating much fiber on the trip. 
LA is down 25 lbs with his changes - very high protein and mostly no junk food. 

I've off grapes, potatoes, gawd what else....why can't I think. Peanut butter, fake butter, bottomless bags of strawberries. 
I'm two days off propowder mal-use. 

I've made so much change - to also a high protein diet - and removed triggers that I'm unsatisfied with food. But I keep wanting more of something, like a date or cheese. Bad choices! But so much change, yet not so much change. Yet. 

Keep running! 

Why does Mar 30th or 3-30 sound so familiar?

It's been bugging me - why does 3-30 sound like an anniversary of something? Well I just went through all the Marchs since 2009 when this started and didn't find a specific event. But I did find some things to look back on. 

On one Mar 30 I was dx'd with T8 compression fracture. Another was Disney shit. Another was a Potowatomie taper. Another a swim challenge. Another some other injury with k tape. 

Oh how the times have changed. 

And but how they haven't.

I can find in the logs times where I'm promising myself yet again to change and fix things. Sit to eat, come home to chores and a real meal. Dear Gawd, that's still a thing. 

So here all this part weekend, I'm lamenting the lack of change. Tomorrow, I tell myself. On 3-30, I'll start. Again?! 

I've changed so much in the past few months. Totally eliminated rice cake, fake butter, peanut butter, grapes, potatoes, chips (mostly, plantains sometimes). Struggling with protein powder, standing, random, etc, cheese, standing. Yeah, I still come home to stand at a counter top to destress.

I can type all I want here, but it's THERE that the change needs to be made.

No running, biking, swimming at all these days. Finding time to walk ain't all that easy either. My right hip hurts still, I think it's a hip flexor. PT didn't help, I see ortho in about two weeks. Nova has been in pain since the end of Feb, and without her walking is even less. LA has radically changed his diet since Jan and lost 20-25 pounds. He wants to run another race, but I have to wait to see what the hip eval says. I want to do another as well!

Happy 2026 Bee!!

Typed Jan 14th, hit Publish later on March 30th. 

It's a late post, but who cares? Not me. 

Happy New Year Bee! I heard a joke last week, "thank you for me 7 day trial of 2026, I'd like to cancel my subscription this isn't what I expected". 

So true. In just the last 13 days, 2 two kid exchanges/visits (Xmas and rescheled post MLK), LA started a 2 month rotation of hell at the VA, dad had flu and 3 seizures, and now I'm waiting to see if mom's hip is damaged after yesterday's fall. This is why I haven't typed much here - there' so much going on but no training. And this was a training blog. 

Slava and LA did a half marathon on turkey weekend, but that's not my training. 

As for me, I have a new "coach": ChatGPT. Once I started doing that on the daily, I quit journaling and blogging. I'm short on time, short on thinking, and short on more to say. 

More on me, I have my 2nd PT visit for my hip today. Right hip mostly, but will help the left. The eval revealed very tight right hip for external rotation, weak left leg, and weak core. Added together - flexor and lateral pain. I'm 99% on finishing daily PT. My long term goal is to get back to running. Some days I dream of long runs and races. Some days I don't even want to walk (the cold and dark has a lot to do with that too though). 

In addition to the hip, right wrist and left elbow to wrist need PT. Why do I keep putting it off? It hurts and burns. 

Further, the November botox wore off by xmas, and I'm reminded just how bad and noisy the twitch is. I have another dose in February. So that's OK. 

In December Coach and I laid out a "zero zero" plan of zero rice cakes, zero salt dumps, zero unmeasured cheese - those are successful for like a month now. Also zero standing while eating - and that's not zero as of yet. I'm supposed to have a quiet time the last 2-3 mins of the commute, immediately walk the dog, return to my closet to change and clean up, then find 10 minutes of transition time, and use that time to dump the hurry and stress and not go into Moria hunched and hurried. GFP says I live on "being busy" and being unable to have quiet idle time. So correct. Yes, I still have these goals, years later. 

I'm 50 years old, and I'm still fighting these goals. What prompted me to come back today, besides just being overdue for my posts? As I'm waiting for mom to get her hip imaged, I'm realizing that LA is right and I certainly need to travel and experience NOW before we lose the chance to do so. Not only experience NOW, but CHANGE NOW. Do I want to wait until retirement? Do I want to lose the chance? Do I want to die with these issues?  

No. But I've said all this before. Here I am, again. 
I made my usual list of goals for the year, some already accomplished.

Next day. Mom's hip is OK? Did I improve on my goals last night? eh....why am I here typing this?