RUN?
Yesterday I completely rested, I went to bed with really pained feet (roller skating and the 3 short back-to-back-to-back runs Monday and Tuesday?) and woke up with a sharply pained metatarsel/phalange in the 5th toe. Sharp, like a stress fracture or something acute. Sitting here now and all of today - no pain. But now I'm sick-to-my-stomach nervous about it. Like, right when I start to find a plan or a habit or something -- something else comes up to disrupt it. This week is supposed to be the "First Week of The 13.1M Training" and I'm debating whether or not I'm injured.
Today, so far better on that front. But today another Discussion about .... with LA.... and we keep having this and why do I always come away feeling like the Defective part? Because I am? I thought I was Different. Not Defective. It took years to get over the Defective label I had on myself and now it's back. I'm Wrong. Not Right. Need To Be Fixed. Again.
Totally undercuts the 'self of steam'. Which hurts worse, a potential bone injury or to feel like you're some Defective part? The latter. The bone fracture will heal. I've been Defective for as long as I've known.
So my self esteem low today.
In other news, today is day 7!! We had PB and oats last night and they survived. So did my streak. I have the PB to the dog :)
And my streak of no breakfast blipped today as I came downstairs feeling awful and dragging, sick to my stomach a bit and weak, so I ate the oats I made last night. Still full! Let's see if increasing carbs improves my energy and constantly-feeling coldness. I feel like nothing is working for me. Like all avenues just lead to failure. Athletics. Nutrition. Relationship.
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