Just do what you can -- 2x TGP, Zoom, and Indianapolis

 BIKE 14 miles in TGP, 2 intervals

Travel stresses me, rushed schedules stress me, and as I'm finding out so do Airbnbs. The plan this weekend is to meet in Indy, since mom is presurgery and isolating so she isn't exposed to COVID. He's done this Airbnb thing before (I think I knew he was using it, but I didn't realize what it was) so instead of a hotel we're staying in someone's house.

Someone else's house. Ugh, that alone stresses me. I'm not comfortable in my friend's houses. I'm mostly OK in my sister's house. I'm afraid to touch anything, I sit on the edge of chairs, I won't look at or touch their stuff....so to SLEEP OVER and stay in a strange home is, as I joked, beyond my pay grade.

So with this stress overhead, I didn't get out the door on schedule Friday morning to finish a full 3 intervals. I wavered on going at all, my usual "all or nothing" mentality -- if I can't get 3 full loops why go? I'm better with that than I used to be. The ride was great, LOTS of people in the park!

Some work, lab meeting on Zoom (decidedly do NOT like that either, feels invasive), then rush home to pack and leave. I'm mostly pre-packed but I'm still like hurry-hurry-hurry. I don't like to hurry, I make mistakes. 

Uneventful drive to Indy with the dog, listened to more of the Biblical series of my Jordan Peterson podcast. He can explain religion in a way that I understand it, years of Sunday school failed, so did wikipedia and attending church. I arrive after LA to learn that we are staying in the house AND SO IS THE OWNER. Not a private apartment or house, just the bed and bath. 

I hate to say it, but my stomach and nerves went from OK to awful in just seconds. I couldn't stop the free fall into the stress. My gut locked up and refused to relax, it wasn't until Monday back in StL that it finally unwound and started to recover. My head spun from nervousness, a vague nervousness that couldn't find anything to focus on. 

JBP says that meaning and growth occur when you have one foot in order and the other foot in chaos. My order was LA, the chaos was all around me.

Almost no sleep Friday night, better Saturday. We visited a park Saturday and just relaxed -- I needed that break as I didn't want to return to the house. Way too creepy. I was more comfortable hanging out in the driveway than I was the house. 

Sunday was like it never happened, all of the sudden we're leaving and driving back. 

I'm writing this on Wednesday after, and I'm still a bit sick from it. Ugh.