2nd full FoPa Loop, wiped me out for the day

 RUN 6.5 miles in about 1:07, me and BE

No COMMUTE

Great morning for a run, if you're willing to ignore the near-stifling humidity and warmth. I am. BE, EW, and EW's friend Tony joined. We started off talking about Tony's garage fire!! Then we split into two groups right away. 

I wore my HRM today, the real one so no wrist data. It's one of my 9 Things to do if I'm going to prep for racing again. Maybe it wasn't the best day to look at HR, the humidity and stuffiness drives up the HR. Right away I was in the high 150s and telling myself to slow down. But habits are habits and when you're mind says "slow down"  the rest of me says "fuck you and shut the fuck up". Ah, me. 

But it's one of those days that my chest was hurting. Chest. I didn't say heart. My chest, on the upper half, sorta right of sternum midline. This isn't new, it comes and goes, it wasn't there last week. Along with it is some throat pain, like I'm getting a sore throat or an ear ache. I know how this sounds. Trust me, I was there, I know what this sounds like. But all my tests come back negative for any issues. So fuck you and shut the fuck up. I'm running. 

BE slows for me, I say aloud my goal to finish with 100% run and that I'll pace this to finish that. He slows, runs backwards a little, pulls ahead and falls behind, but always there. I can remember running with someone slower than I was, and I know I was happier to wait and dance around than I was to drop and pull ahead. And I've been running with BE for years, he knows I can run the park and he doesn't judge or doubt or push for me. (Well he might doubt if I said my chest hurt...). So I comfortably settle into a "easy" 10:30-ish pace and decline when he offers to walk a hill by the zoo. 

Of course I finish, my gut is the only part of me unhappy so I get home to that, and from there my day went downhill. No motivation. No oomph. No focus or drive, just stress and anxiety. Hits of what feels like adrenaline, butterfly-y stomach, head spinny. I know this is stress, it's not my heart. But when you're stressed and your chest hurts and you're stressed they're like a positive feedback look.

I decide to delay going to work and get stuff done. I know the unfinished items on my to-do list are part of my stress. So off to Global Foods, Fresh Thyme, Restaurant Depot, Schnucks, and in that loop I get kbac and cok for LA, jarrow and PB2 for me, fish and eggs, dog food and multivitamins. Bing, done. 

Once home, I decide work ain't gonna happen, I'm feeling worse. So I get onto the food prep: all the salmon bento boxes. Hard boiled eggs. Chicken legs and an egg pizza for the freezer. Nibbles aliquoted and chopped. Bang, done. 

More to do, I've had cleaning the car and truck on my list for ..... months. The truck hasn't been washed at all this year! So scrub-a-dub both are washed, but I'm out of spray wax. Vacuum, windex, tidy. Boom, done.

Back into the house, LA calls, it gets late, and I get back to the master bedroom window project. Last night I pulled the upper sash and re-glazed it, and painted the lower sash. Today I evaluate - the upper sash has a full crack across one of the panes (fuck) and the lower sash gets another coat of paint. They are talking rain and I have much trim pulled out to repair and remove these sashes. I work on this, but not done yet. 

I still feel pretty stressed. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, the change in living patterns, the compressed week without weekends to get things done, the stress of work and upcoming stuff there. But today was a day off work, I took a benedryl to sleep, I got LOTS done and opened up my weekend. 

I still need to get stuff done better, streamline all the things I think I need to do, and remove a few things I don't need to do. This has got to change. It's only been 6 weeks.