RUN 3.5 miles easy on track with BE
COMMUTE about 14 miles, to track and to work
Oh and I get to edit yesterday - I did do the longer ride home to get my even-steven 10 miles. Distance Whore.
Above are my numbers-to-date for 2020 and 2019. I didn't realize I'd bike so much last year! I did some 50-60 milers, I did Mondays in TGP all season, but wow. And lookit them commute numbers!
What happened this year!? Aside from the swim - (another aside -- is my pool open?......YES!! if I reserve a time!) - I can be forgiven for not swimming when the pools are closed. The bike and commute - I didn't do those so much with LA around. Not that it was his fault, more that I lost the habit and/or got a ride from him. Knowing the time was limited, I chose the ride when I could. As for running, Ugh, I missed running and it's been an up/down roller coaster to get back into it.
Ran a little in Jan and Feb, sick in March and most of April, started again May and June but limited to 10 miles a week due to sick/fatigue, finally in July and August I hit a build I could hold on to. Then in August I wrote up a training plan for a 100-miler. If my blog accepted emojis, the one to put right here would be the laughing until crying. Wait....😂 Jeezus this new blogger format has emojis?! Oh JFC I wonder if they print in the book! hahahahaha!
Well anyway, the run. I'd considered pulling out a swim workout and modifying it for the track. A ladder or loco, for example. Turns out, BE also thought about a swim-mod, this time a SKD (swim-kick-drill) mod but we decided after a few laps of easy jogging to leave it for next week. Weird that we both turned to swimming for track inspo. We did 4 miles total, walked 2x200 and 1x400 intervals for a sum total of 3.5 miles running.
The college track teams were back, this time more of them. Masked while in their groups and even sometimes while running drills. Changed days.
I'd thought about getting into something I was thinking about this morning -- about being a passive person -- but I'm losing motivation for it after sitting here typing a few minutes. It relates to this blog in that while I'm an apparently passive and apathetic person otherwise, when it comes to triathlon and training and even commuting to work I'm NOT a passive person. Is that why I like it so much? I find 'myself' in it? Similarly, I'm not competitive and driven otherwise, but put me in a training or race even and I'm no longer happy taking a back seat and I'll drive right into the ground trying to get ahead of my own self.
The last few years - maybe since the heart attack, no, since the hip injury/surgery - have shattered the person I used to be. I used to *want* to be afraid of what I was doing, I loved finding out that I was capable of more than I realized. 10x-10 mile days. Triple Bricks. 30+20 weekends. Gone. Gone where?
I don't trust myself anymore. Back to back injuries sucked the inner confidence dry. Now I run and wonder how long I can go before I break again, instead of wondering where the next turn will take me.
I think part of my need to get back into a race mentality - to train and plan and scheme and experience the fear and doubt of a hard run or long race - is because that's where I find my inner self being strong and decisive. I'll push and drive and suffer to find what I'm capable of doing out there.
While I type this, running at Lost Valley comes to mind. The swiss-cheese rocks. The overlooks, the U-turns and drops. The broken bridge. These are the images that haunt my mind. On the commute in, I thought about Berryman, 25 miles of rugged trail that go by so fast and I know I have to run that again before I can leave St Louis. I used to be able to run that. I want to run that again. I need it.
I need to know I can do it.
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