RUN 6.2 miles in 60 mins, walked just 2 mins at 4 miles
Woke up thinking I'd hit Greensfelder. Didn't. Thought I might swim. Didn't. Thought I'd visit T&M's new patio. Didn't. Ugh.
Didn't think I'd waste the morning on M. Did. Didn't think I waste time and resources with M. Did. Ugh.
Colored, that worked for a little while. Cleaned on the patio and threw stuff out, that worked for awhile too. Got myself to noon, and forced a reset. That worked.
Took the dog for a walk in TGP, just maybe 2 miles to calm down and get out. This helped too, seeing all the other runners got me thinking I'd drop her off at home and get my own run in.
My mind kept skipping to errands I wanted to run, but errands that wouldn't help me any. I wanted to go and didn't want to go. The conflict persisted, but I over came it.
Dropped of the dog, gave myself until 4pm to get running. Changed, believe it or not munched some butternut, out the door. Off to TGP, thinking that I was a "princess" for trying to get some tiny little chip of something between my shoe and sock. This set off some mental defenses like "I may be acting like a princess but..." and tried to bolster myself up by recalling how far I used to run, how much I like to run, etc etc blah blah. JFC.
I didn't do a walk-run-walk-run WU, I just walked a bit then started the Garmin. Played my Waggle songlist. Held good paces between 9 and 9:30m/m through the first 4 miles. Ran a kid on a LimeBike off the sidewalk at Magnolia, he tried to play chicken with me and failed. Smiled through my fave part of TGP on the mulched bird trail, did my little weave-in weave-out along Kings. Hit 4 miles and although I didn't want to, I just had to walk. I was starting to fall out of form and reviewing the Garmin HR data I can see that I was a steady below-150 until mile 4. So a 4 min walk right after crossing TGA. Then back to the run and felt OK until I got near the Grand/Arsenal intersection where it felt really forced. Again the HR data reflects this. (and even looks like some cadence lock? Or is that my excuse?)
Hit Grand and decided to pick up my library book as planned. Along Grand I passed two guys slugging along, each more focused on the TWO phones each carried, one in each hand. More focused on that than my own run, I guess. Still feeling forced. Library, get book after handing the librarian my probably sweaty card, out.
The last mile home was hard. It felt all uphill and underwater. And yet I refused to walk. I happily paused at intersections, but wouldn't walk. Ugh.
But I got it done, a 10 miles of running this weekend is a peak number for me. Did I do it good? I think so. I'm happy I did it. Happy I'm resetting. Gonna miss my 80 day streak but that was also a number of denial.
The book I picked up? "The Brave Athlete. Calm the F*ck Down and Rise the the Occasion". Funny to pick that up on a run after which I battled a mental demon all morning, fought through a tough run, and avoided errands that would have set me back. I'd heard about this book on a podcast and it seemed like it addressed issues I've been having in trying to develop Bee 2.0. We'll see!
NUMERICS 5 hours not including bike commute
SWIM FUCKING ZERO
BIKE 36.2 miles
RUN 18.3 miles
BIKE COMMUTE 35.3
PT 2 hours I should count this too as time dedicated to Bee 2.0
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