BIKE 5.77 miles in about 27 mins, Puppy
I no longer have three bikes, so do I need to say it was Puppy? I do need to say - it was wonderful! I went south around the new drainage lake and around the high school area up 7th to Liberty. I was frustrated that my mind though about 'avoiding hills'. I expected to feel so winded and out of shape and flat-energy. I probably did, but I did OK if I did.
My left knee still has that super sharp on/off pain, that is bothersome! What da fuq?
Today (Friday) I'm trying to drag myself out of stress mode. The delay of court, the delay of STEP exam, that's all hitting me now this week, maybe in addition to hormones, but either way I'm so fucking tired and low energy. If I were to throw rocks (like that kid from the restaurant with the pod caster) I'd throw rocks into the lake and say :
I'm tired of this!
I'm stuck living like this
I want things to be normal
I want a normal life not stress
I don't want to think about kids
I don't want to think about moving next year
I don't want to think about staying here
I want to cut my hair
I don't want gall bladder surgery
I need a hug not accusations of "you're transferring" "you're snowballing"
(btw, I did get a hug this morning)
I need to feel progress, like we're getting somewhere with all this!
But taking a step back - there's progress!
LA may have figured out dairy is a dietary issue
LA is exercising and eating better
LA is recognizing issues of stress and anxiety
LA is almost a 4th year med student!
What, what about me?!
I sold two of my bikes and I'm happier with the $$ and just Puppy
........
.......
Um..... what about me?!
Well yesterday I did say I wanted new habits, I wanted certain changes. Last night I sucessfully did those changes! So let's report in:
I came home, changed shoes, took off coat, went upstairs to wash up, changed and rode my bike!
I came back from all that and stuck to my meal plan!
I STOPPED at 8pm and didn't go back.
WIN! Do it again!
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