Choose Your Own Adventure

All the stress and thinking and worry - all postponed until later. That's been life lately, postponing things until later. 

But we are improving. LA quit dairy (and I quit back in ... December or early to great benefit) and his symptoms improved. He's sleeping better for a few reasons. His STEP was also postponed, until June? His work load is still high, might is too but the di -----  

TUESDAY RUN 1 miles

I stopped yesterday's entry, it was forced. On Monday my to do list shows "update training blog" so I tried. It started to go negative.

Today I had another gallbladder surgical consult. I still don't want it, but I feel like I'm out of choices. Why don't I want it? The anesthesia is a secondary issue. The primary issue the the CHANGE. More change. Change diet (for about 6 months), change workouts (no lifting over 10-15 lbs for a month, 4-6 weeks before you start to feel normal again), change work (1-2 weeks out!). This is what kept me from doing this last summer - this summary of changes. Last summer I was "training" for the ultra marathon H100, well I wasn't really in the end, but that was my excuse. 

And now? I'm barely "training". And I'm unhappy about that. And I'm unhappy about having a real excuse to set me back. I'm trying to get unstuck, and I feel like this surgery will just get me entrenched in stuck!

I woke up this morning feeling so heavy and sluggish. I went back to bed! And the headache, still have it at 1030am, wow what a headache. I rarely get those. But in good news my gut isn't aching and making awful noises.

Well back to topic, we did run, 2 miles and I didn't think I could do it and I didn't think I would do it, but the TLJ voice in my head was there (appeared over the weekend somehow, but it helps) pointing out my mental problems.

Towards the end of the 2 miles, I realized this is a Choose Your Own Adventure - I can be unhappy or I can be happy. I can focus on the good or the bad. I can CHOOSE. 

The Atomic Habits book came again to the Libby app. Reading it for the 4th? time. Why? I know the contents, I still like it though. It hints that I want change. HA!!!!! Read above, for how I don't want CHANGE but here I want CHANGE!

Figure this out!