I'm now training for a 50 miler, and training to be more balanced

RUN 4 miles in 39 mins, Target and back,  not speedwork but with a bit of "push" in mind but that's not a pushed pace!

I slept poorly last night and instead of being worried about it, I'm just trying to be mindful and more forgiving if I'm tired and slower today. LA worked late, most likely the start of many like this. In retrospect, instead of sitting around waiting for him, I could have gone to the gym!

I listed to Ester podcast today and got some thinking about the fear of  change. Gave me something to consider - why does change cause fear? Think back to 2014 when everything changed, and the loss of stability I felt. And think about why things don't feel stable now, what's still missing for me? Or what don't I do to appreciate the stability that I do have? 

I worked out a 50M training plan yesterday, with the  mid weeks looking like 4+6+4. The travel and rest weekends are mostly synchronized. The peak mileage is still in the 60-miles range, not much different from the 100M plan. What then is the difference? I'm trying this on for size right now, to see how I feel. 

Also I'm doing more Implementation Intentions -- When this happens at this time I will _____ planning. Like, at 8pm when the meal is over I will leave Moria. When I come home I will have a glass of water, go upstairs to wash my face, and find a chore to do. 

Also working on Identity work: If I want to be an athlete, then I need to do things that athletes do. If I want to be more race-weight-ish, I need to make choices that get me there. Then planning two minute goals towards those. First, two minutes a day of mindful mediation. Two minutes of flexibility and/or PT.

And Thought Dumping as a way to break the Bounce Into Moria over and over cycle, like last night. I just kept going back, knowing full well that it wouldn't change anything, I'd just come back again. I TD'd it, found the tension in my shoulders, and broke out of it. Good!