I did the 20-miler, but nearly had a mental break up over it

Friday WasGonna run 10 miles
Saturday WasGonna run 20 miles
Sunday RUN 20.2 miles in 3:46

Whew, what a weekend. Did I talk about Friday's gut issue? I think I did, I lost down to 125 or 126 pounds with fluid imbalance hopefully being only a part of it. Friday night I tried to recover it, but at the grocery I bought greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and something else...., oh yeah PB2, and came home to that for dinner. Not good. Went to bed feeling lonely, full, tired, couldn't sleep at first. 

Saturday morning I slept in until 720am and I dressed to run but the momentum wasn't there. I'll run at 9am, I promised myself. I'll run at 10am, I promised. I took the dog out for a "warm up" walk and realized it was cold out! Windy, cloudy, cold, and all momentum to run died. I was getting anxious, and to finalize the decision to Not run I ate a big bowl of veggies. Of course I continued to eat more of the dairy, and I was bloated and stressed (Rector and Murray calls) all day. On edge, Anxious, Tired, Lonely. Sadly I went to grocery shop for the meal prep and bought peanut butter and chocolate nibbles. Ate too many nibbles. Threw away most of the peanut butter jar. 

Come Sunday morning, I was feeling much better and actually was eager to run. But 132 brought my mood down. It was only a few degrees warmer, but sunny and light winds. Walk dog, a few chores, I ate egg whites, chocolate, cottage cheese, a spooner of peanut butter. Fucking hell. Like I'm trying to not run?! Nope, I ran!!

I wandered the neighborhoods with easy pace, sipping water and walking a bit every mile. I had a Danielle Steel audio book (perfect fluff, so distracting and mindless) and as I wandered I found new places in AA - tennis courts, bike trails, wooded trails, fancy houses, cornfields. I was excited to tell the kids! And I pointed out some neighborhoods to LA who was in MO. 

Around mile 16 I started to run low on will to run. I was mildly hurting, but really it was dehydration (empty Camelbak), the end of the audiobook (the next one sucked), and low energy (I hadn't eaten at all on the run!). I stopped as planned at a Meijer to look for garlic powder ($!) and instead bought celery. That was memorable to run with in the Camelbak - and painful on the collarbone. 

I was at 17.6 when I left Meijer, biobreak and some water in the pack, and so close to home! I finished just before the house and walked. I could have kept going, but needed water and fuel. The last 6 miles would hurt!

What happened over the weekend? Was it imbalances from Friday? Mental shit? Come on, now what's going on. 

I need to draw the line on the foods I've incorporated - they aren't serving me. The chocolate might have been fine, but the PB2, PB, cottage cheese, yogurt, all pushed better foods off the plate. So LIMIT THEM until I see a 124.9. Limit as in NOPE DON'T HAVE ANY.