Cutting Edge pre and taper week

Weds BIKE 1hr and 18 miles, indoors
Thurs RUN just under an hour and 6.6 miles
Fri COMMUTE 6 miles
Sat RUN 3 miles in about 30 mins, social with RM

I'd rather not be writing this after the race is over, but last week got hectic and I just didn't see this as a priority over everything else. I think I was also in a bit of denial in that I was ignoring the fact that this race was this weekend!

As noted in the Tuesday run, I was feeling sluggish. I was also off schedule with the doggie being sick and needing to get to the vet. Swimming, as always, was the first to fall off. Too much time driving to/from the pool, I wasn't bike commuting, and I needed to be flexible.

Wed's bike ended up indoors so I could be available to shuttle the doggie to the vet. I didn't have to, just needed to get to work to finish a long harvest day. As per usual, these long harvest days leave me dehydrated due to the time spent away from a drinking source.

This continued with more harvests Thurs and Friday! The Thursday run was terribly sluggish and left me worried about my taper and rest. I took Friday off entirely and still didn't feel rested.

Friday was capped off by my bone scan, the less than ideal results, and a looooong conversation with DH about my body image issues.

The 3-ish miles with RM was at an easy talking pace, and that still felt hard. Denial was getting replaced by doubt. It wasn't until I went home and ate a super carby brekkie that I bounced back, so much so that I went shopping and felt great and buoyant for it! The day went great, we worked on our cookup and hid from the heat outdoors. But I didn't start packing until after 7pm! Why wasn't I taking this seriously!?

I had goals for this race, but I didn't review them until the Monday afterwards when I found them again. I'd really forgotten about what I wrote down.

So what happened this week? The schedule change? The nutrition stress and changes? Poor planning?

RM said something that stuck with me, he wasn't referring to me when he said it though:
You are responsible for your own happiness.