Freedom from …

Anxiety. Stress. Being overweight.

I was going to type over whelmed. But the autocorrect/suggest said overweight.

That's a good way to put it. Overweight mentally and physically. The weight of ….

Of what. I'm buffered out today. It's another day of travel, I don't like travel. This sucks. The negativity. The lack of schedule. The constant attention. The constant people. The bickering. The attitude. The disrespect.

I realized that when the crowdedness is too much, I can leave. I just left. Again. To the beach. I'm supposed to be no screen in bed.

Chest pounds. Can't think. Can't breathe right. Tightened chest. A swirl.

I realized too that when I tell them to do something, it's me talking to me. My angry self talking to me. When I tell them to eat real food. Have a glass of water. Veggies. Are you hungry. Stop and pause. I'm wishing I had someone to talk like that to me. ?

Freedoms from. Comparisons. Moria. Regret. Wishing. Wanting.

Wanting change. Wanting less. Wanting more.

Tomorrow is 300 days no Monster. I treated today like it didn't count but it does. 500plus CO. Hotel food and habits. Waste. Screens. Garbage.

The sun sets. The waves touch the shore. The colors change and darken. Another day is gone. Another day lost.