COMMUTE 3.5 or 7, don't know yet
Yesterday in short bursts I'd typed up this long analysis of my habit lists and realized that I was repeating over and over the same issue - that I'm making bad plans and I'm unable to stick to these bad plans. I was making a sort of punishment about what was a bad ADF plan execution. This lead to CO days, bad Net numbers, bingy cycles, "ignorance" about current counts, etc etc.
I don't know if I'll publish that post.
The post started because I've been trying to decide what's going wrong - why don't I see the changes I'm trying so desperately to make? Maybe because I'm being so coy and indirect with myself about it, haha, see above. I'd made a list of things that Patrick would tell me (stop the carbs, make a plan, master the mindset) and gave myself until the end of August to see if I could start making better plans for myself.
I'd had some grand realization this morning after waking up about this, but as I sit here I can't seem to recall it.
But do I need to re-hire someone who told me what I needed to do, I paid for it but then didn't do it?
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The run today felt like it was gonna suck in the first mile, and I was concerned about not being able to hit the goal of 5-6 miles. But I did, listening to my Empress Vicky audiobook, slow and tired, but finished. It amazed me the rest of the day that I didn't "feel" this run at all. Like I'd forgotten it happened. No fatigue, soreness, extra hunger or thirst. It happened, I'm sure of it! But is this a good thing - that I kept it easy amidst the stress. Or that I could have pushed a bit more - and kept it too easy?
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