August has arrived. What else 2?

I'd said back in late May that the 10 weeks were going to be defined by change. In some ways, they were. I've quit Reddit, news, internet. I'll look something defined up, something short or needed. That's it for the web. My phone usage has drastically changed because of this!

I've been doing clean fasting until at least noon since late June. This was a win, and in July I was easily able to go 20+ hours IF.  

But everything else - fell apart.

My running went from 3-4 times a week for 15+ miles to hit-or-miss and less than 15 miles. My gym workouts went to zero. Swimming stayed at zero. Azuc came early and left. Rice came back. Sweets came back. Then sweet potatoes. Monster - comes and goes and repeats and now I'm 5 days done of M-free. I've started I'm trying and failing at ADF, the CO and inability to keep track are the problem. 

I've been 1308 to 1348. Maybe 1350. For all the change, this didn't change, and it's a killer. 

I also said back in late May that maybe once the 10 weeks were over I'd go back to Patrick. The three months I had in Jan-Apr were a lie, denial and dishonesty, lack of integrity and intention. But change occurred, but only once the mileage hit higher numbers. 

Numbers. It's a numbers game. So as of now I've moved the timing from 16:8 to 20:4 or 23:1, but I haven't changed the sum total. Yesterday was a high ADF day at 12 +5CO. Today now is the 5CO+5, if I stick to plan. And there's the catch - I don't stick to plan. 

And I know this, that I'm dishonest. Lie Cheat and Steal, there's all 3 going on here. Were I to get honest, would I see change? Where's the dishonesty?
1. Unmeasured, especially PB and PPowder and dairy and rice and oh everything
2. CO as a way to balance things out
3. Unmeasured. 
4. Snacking as a way to destress
5. Unmeasured.
6. Bouncing back after 8pm thinking I can CO it.

Will this make sense in a few years, if I ever read this again?! 

To summarize: training is low, monster is low, azuc is gone, BUT NO CHANGE. There's no change, because nothing changed.

Ugh. Going back. Were I to work with Patrick again, I know what I'd hear:
1. No sugar
2. Low carbs, as in no rice and maybe no sweet potato
3. Fasting - CHECK
4. Strength training - Kinda CHECK
5. Deal with the mental shit
6. Goal of 13

Do I need to pay someone to hear this again ?!