Up and Down, Round and Round

Still just BIKE 2 miles a day

Wow it's been a week?! Not much to say. I've worked full days all October since coming back from H100. Weekends and all, like normal days. Busy bee, just how I like it. But the time flies and already it's almost the end of October.

Today at lunch with TV we sat south of McM building in the sun. Gardeners were winterizing the sprinklers. It was 70F degrees and full sun. I hope the butterfly in today's chrysalis gets out safely. Monday's butterfly didn't make it. SO says my remaining two green chyrsalides in the house are probably OK, he's released as late as end of November.

Last night and another few nights the hip bone aches in bed. It might ache all day long, but the signal:noise covers it? Drives me crazy, keeps me awake.

M left but came back both weekend nights. And I was sick from it. Just when I was starting to see some change on Friday, a positive benefit, he's back. He's gone again now last day or two and I'm again starting to feel better. SOB.

I want so bad to run. I want so much to bike. I want to be normal.

I found a nutritionist, the one recommended by the orthopedics doc. I'm filling out the assessment forms and a few days of food log. The log asks to rate hunger on a 0-5 scale. Yesterday while I was swollen and sick I wasn't much hungry at all. Today was better. I'm becoming aware of how much I eat "because I should". I "should" eat dairy. I "should" eat more. This has to be contributing to how overstuffed I feel sometimes?

When I see a runner in Forest Park, I can feel the path they are one. The surface, the incline, the next turn. This kept happening when I met LA in the park after work last friday (before we went for Chinese, my first chinese restaurant meal I think!?). I'd see a runner and just lose track of the present moment.

Over the weekend I had a flash memory of me with Frea, on a highway in Illinois, with cars passing and a long left curve ahead of me. I know that road, it's in my head. But I'm not sure where on the map. I miss it. I ache for it.

I picked up the 2014 blog book and re-read October. Five years ago. And what will I be five years from now?