June 30th End. July 1st Begin

ELLIPTICAL 10+15
STRENGTH 30 mins pull
COMMUTE!! 7.6 miles yay!

The smoke is clearing out, my cough is better. My habits are slow to change dammit.

My June goals were mostly met, I did 20 mpw when I wasn't sick, I did run sub 9's when I wasn't sick, but I didn't lose 4 pounds. Sadly, I went up from 134 to 137 (water weight, likely) down to 131 (??) and back to 133-134. So. July. 4 pounds!

I've stopped the Balrog, the Monster, Azuc, standing, wasting, processed foods. I climb stairs to the bathroom, I get ave 13K steps a day, I do some exercise most every morning, oatmeal and PB under control, rice under control, I'm nooming to change (I'm averaging 1400/day, as logged).

So - I CAN make change! Proof!

Nothing changes, if nothing changes. 

July 1st These things HAVE TO CHANGE 

1. Stop eating standing up
2. Stop sitting just to eat, then bouncing around, just wait.
3. Stop coming home to Moria
4. Stop rando-eating foods and make a plate

July GOALS: same as before, keep trucking, don't add more on. 

Sounds like a recipe for weight gain

 RUN 3 miles in about 32 mins, solo, in the smoke haze

Yesterday I said this in my post:

THIS CAN CHANGE: -- I do come home a wait a few mins, wash up, but immediately to Moria.  But I can also just STOP the progress to Moria and find something else to do. -- I do have prepacked foods, but I add on more and more. But I can PLATE the foods and make a real meal out of it -- I do stop at 8pm, but I fill up until then. But I can combine waiting and plating so that I'm mindful of what I've had and enjoy it

Yesterday I said to the kids:  In reference to their wanting honey on butter on bread:  Sounds like a recipe for weight gain.  This, after I'd eaten for dinner, unplanned, unplated, unwaited: Butternut, pickins from the zucchini/beef I don't like, LAs tofu, my tofu, I'm full.  To Costco, thinking I'm done. Home to pickles, beef, raw oatmeal with butter, more oats. I'm very full. Water too with fiber, a bucket of tea, more fiber, more fiber, more Calm, more.  So full. Sounds like a recipe for weight gain. What doesn't change, doesn't change.  I need to change. This habit needs to change.  Ugh. See above.

Hazy dazy

Monday RUN WALK 40 mins 3 miles, half running roughly
Tuesday 44 min WALK with LA
Wednesday ELLIPTICAL 15 mins, STRENGTH 30 mins push, RUN 1.3 miles treadmill

The air quality is a mess, it's like a morning fog that never burns off. Pun not intended. The Canadian wildfire's smoke is settled over the area, and I'm coughing again. 

From Hamilton Trained:

what's making you struggle in your weight loss isn't what you think... What you’re truly up against is not calories, workouts, hormones, or your metabolism... What you’re really up against is years of failure & old conditioning. You see, our mind craves & gravitates what’s most familiar (even if it hurts us). Which means if you’ve been struggling and failing for decades on end losing weight, you’re going to subconsciously sabotage your situation to struggle and failure until you break that pattern of sabotage. Agree. I keep trying to change M3, the overeating and mindlessness and the overfilling.  I've changed so much!! I'm a few days away from 300! I've stopped Azuc for same time. I can have OM and PB (hotel cups) in the house and they just sit there.  But - I had to sabo the rice this morning. I've had to sabo the big OM (but that was 1-2 weeks ago), the next GF-OM is OK. I don't think I'm purposefully sabotaging, but I'm certainly settled into HABITS. The habits of: -- coming home hungry and wanting to eat right away -- having a plan for M3 that gets blown out right away -- having a goal to STOP on time that is ignored right away THIS CAN CHANGE: -- I do come home a wait a few mins, wash up, but immediately to Moria.  But I can also just STOP the progress to Moria and find something else to do. -- I do have prepacked foods, but I add on more and more. But I can PLATE the foods and make a real meal out of it -- I do stop at 8pm, but I fill up until then. But I can combine waiting and plating so that I'm mindful of what I've had and enjoy it

Sick week, wins and losses

BIKE 16.5 miles family bike

No commute at all, sick and rain, and ugh

We did get some running, but it was more run/walk and I didn't track it

No gym until Sunday, STRENGTH legs light workout

What a week. Last Thursday my throat got scratchy, it continued that way until late Monday or early Tuesday, while running that morning I was suddenly coughing with pressure-feeling on my chest. I started taking cough meds to keep from coughing, so I'm not sure if this suppressed other symptoms or not. I didn't really get much worse - congested, etc - but I was blowing my nose sometimes. Just that cough, ugh. 

So I took it light. No energy. My June goal of 20 miles a week, and sub 9m/m, and 4 pounds....win and lose.

Saturday was the family bike, then Sunday morning was 1312, then monday 1332. 111111!!!! Progress. I didn't get PB, wraps, bread, inst potatoes, I'm focused on changes. But still having bad habits. Slow but forward. 

LA had to go to the ER Friday. What a scare. What a memory flood. But he's making so many changes, and I love him even more for it. 

Father's Day Weekend at home

Friday RUN 3 miles with LA
Saturday RUN 4 miles with a sub 9 mile in hotel treadmill
Sunday RUN/WALK 4 miles in hotel again, some left hip pains so I stopped running

Travel back to Illinois for Father's Day. I'm busy so this will be short.

NUMERICS 5 hours

RUN 19.8 miles, OK and some walking

No COMMUTE, rained out and scheduling

Yes to the sub 9 mile on a treadmill!
only 2x to gym due to travel, this is OK

Not great progress on the 4 pounds, At least I'm not gaining :/

Frustrated morning

Wednesday RUN only 2.5 miles, wanted 5
Thursday RUN 0.75 treadmill, wanted 1
     STRENGTH 20 mins of most of a pull workout, I wanted the whole thing
     RUN 0 miles because we're out of time, I wanted 2

UGH. I waited for everyone else to get their shit together (I said I'm leaving at 6:45am, we don't leave until  710 or so) and then I'm late and miss out. I feel unfinished, like I have this hanging on my to do list. 

We get home on time 8am, but slow to shower, slow after shower, my mind is unfocused and lacking direction, I'm late to work, I have to leave by 1020 to get the midday passport appointment, then a zoom at 1pm then a zoom at 5pm. and UGH. 

I'm thinking I could run home, 3.5 miles. That would put me at 8.65+3.5 = 12.15 miles for the week, run tomorrow and run Sunday to get 20? How will I get stuff to work to run home? Run 4 tomorrow, 4 sunday, that's good.

I'm unfocused with messed up days, and I need to get control of that back. I come home to a flurry. Sometimes I handle it great (last night) and other nights I'm not so great (Monday, I come home overwhelmed). But although last night is great, it has problems. I STILL come home to a long buffet line of dinner: home, wash, shoes, all good. Then: chicken chunks, broccoli, spaghetti squash, more chicken I think, spaghetti squash, rice and butter, rice and butter second bowl, I think more squash, a bunch of water a few times --- and wham --- I'm too full too  much too bloated too much. 

I wake up this morning and yesterday's 1340 is now 1378. FUCK. WTF.

Can I keep blaming hormones?! Did they "make" me crave rice/carbs last night? Am I "bloated" and "retaining"? Is that why my mood is flat, or was my mood flat only after I hit the scale?!

Yesterday ABA promised herself to not eat bread. Even though VLA made soughdough, she still stuck to it. I promised myself not to eat rice, I didn't stick to it. 

UGH>

So what's the plan? I have another 9 days on Noom trial #2. Both the workout plan and meal plan were total wastes. They lessons though are hitting traction, today I'm supposed to be working on my eating scripts. Like - come home and eat the evening away. 

No more skateboarding

ELLIPTICAL 10 + 10
STRENGTH push b about 20 minutes

On saturday while skateboarding I fell three times - hard. Twice on the right hip (IT band connection to hip bones area) and once on the left popping something in my shoulder. I didn't hurt much Sunday, but yesterday was pretty bad. My right ankle skin is abraded and swollen to where the tongue of my shoes hurt. My right hip is swollen, tight, and bruising. My left shoulder is tight, but on top of that my other shoulder also hurts, my ribs and my upper spine soft tissue too. No more.

I did what I had time for today, LA joined me and really my goal today was just to move and see if everything still works. It does! I was able to do presses and lifts OK. Whew.