My week to restart. This will end. --- It restarted, has it ended?

It's Monday, I just went home for the weekend, a wonder weekend of family! My other family is in MO, I see them in a few days!

Today is 03-13-23. I love that type of thing.

It amazed me over the weekend how my mind could keep calling up old pains and sins, how it could be punishing and mean to me, and how some things just never seem to change. 

At the volleyball games, insecurities. 
Sitting in the car, old memories and insecurities.
Sitting at home, old habits, old memories, and insecurities.

I keep saying I want to change. I need to recognized that I have changed!

There's more I want to change, and I can't do it all at once. 
But for this week - set up a workout schedule and follow it. Set up a meal schedule and follow it. 

Progress:
Monday: I slept in to catch up from last night late arrival. I plan to walk and/or go to the gym. When?!? That's not a plan!

Monday evening: I went home on bus, immediately to dinner, too much unplanned, bouncing and blerching. I cooked and cleaned, finished my walk, and talked to kids. But I was anxious and not really effected.

Tuesday: I went to the gym! 30 mins on the treadmill. Good day at work.

Tuesday evening plan: Home to dinner (plan it!), 7 mins home gym in the app, and go to Kohls and Library. Actual: home, out by 8pm and stayed out, 7 mins home gym in app, kohls and library!! Only problem - didn't stay on plan.

Wednesday: I went to the gym! 30 mins on elliptical. So far so good at work, but too much brekkie. Yet, I skipped the tater!

Wednesday evening plan: Pack, dinner per plan, another 7 mins. Actual: home immediately to a BOUNCED meal, almost over, stopped, 8pm goal, 7 mins goal, pack and bed goal. I was anxious, I could feel the pressure of ....? 

Thursday: Day 3 in a row to the gym, 28 mins run! A guy ahead of me on a treadmill had an IM hat, awesome calves (jealousy), and a slow easy step-step-step run. I got to wondering, could I do a marathon this late summer? Would I want to? Anxiety a little about packing and getting everywhere on time today. ONly a half day at work. Meals in my packed bag. Tonight plan: eat before 8pm and not after!

Was I paying attention when I went through this weekend? Thursday brekkie, lunch, and dinner before my flight. Aldi pork rinds and water, to bed. Then all Friday stress GAL (skipped Sirloin Stockade) and STEP1 and nom nom. CO. Saturday same, drive to my parents and Jason's Deli and my sis's house, and CO. Sunday brunch buffet and drive to AA and overfill at home and CO. 

Ugh.