Independence weekend, a monster took my finger tip

Saturday RUN 3 miles

Sunday RUN 8 miles
Monday rest on the 4th

A 21 mile week!

The streak was broken on 14 days. CCheese, plantain chips. I begin again today.

It's +8 today. It's killing me.

I'm killing me. It's my choice. I'm playing the numbers game and only the numbers don't lie. I do. 

And so as long as I keep lying to myself, the numbers will win. And I Lie. I Cheat. I Steal. 

I can't tolerate you. 

Good for you - 18-20 hours. But then if nothing else changes, then nothing else will change.

I started eating fruit again. It's meant to replace Azu. I forgot ignored that yesterday. I lied. 

Today I have a plan. The week is planned. Just follow your plan. 

Yesterday I snipped off the end of my left ring finger. So fucking fitting, that I broke a personal promise to myself the day I put that ring on and that I cut that finger. Now it's a scar I'll wear to remind me everyday after. Another scar. 

Remember the left wrist/thumb scar? Almost 30 years ago! That ugly thing now a part of me. This new one also a part of me. 

I need to cut off M instead. That's the problem. That part of me needs to Get The Fuck Out. 

He's not going to leave on his own, Bee. You keep opening the door. You Tolerate. 

It's Your Choice.