H100: Set Your House In Perfect Order

Right before leaving for Nashville Turkey Week, I received the registration email from Hennepin. It had my 2019 credit waiting to be used, and now I again had the chance to sign up and prepare.

This isn't the email I had in mind for this - my hands are nervous for some reason, hard to type.

Well anyway, I waited on clicking the Register link until I'd decided that I was mentally ready to commit to this. Not commit to the race, but commit to me. Because until I change me, 2019 can happen all over again. That was hell. 

The pull towards that hell is still there, but the chaos of it is gone. 

So I waited a few days. Did the run in Kenlake and fell, and right after I fell of course I'm mad at myself. And I'm talking out loud to no one but me. Cursing myself. Frustrated and upset and hurt. 

I told myself, that Gawd only left me because I left myself. In 2019, I lost myself and I left myself. As the song goes, I know the pieces fit 'cuz I watched them fall away.

2019 H100 was lost to injury, because of that hell.
2020 H100 was a COVID year, and I was too injured then too, not recovered. Not changed.
2021 H100 was COVID and injury (ankle), and I'm still not recovered. But I'm changing. 

In the midst of my cursing and frustration, I realized - I need to set my house in order.

To finally get to this race, to finally see the start line and before I can even think about the finish line - I need my house in perfect order. 

Balrog 914 days.
Monster 10 days.
Azuc 14 days. 

Still Blerch. Still Sabotage. Still the urge and the desire and the pull. A black hole pit into Moria. 

I've done this maybe a million times. Telling myself - this is it. Back in ...October...?.... I started this "one year thing" and gawd dammit I'm not starting it over, but I'm still on it!

What's next? December. In October I got the habit back of being a gymrat, got my mileage up to a nice 7 miles of running. In November I was up/down on the Moria habits but I kept up and got to 11 miles of running.

December: The goal is 20 miles total a week of walk/run/jog. I don't have a specific run mileage goal yet. 

That's great and all, but what about the rest of it? Keep going. Just keep going, one day at a time.