The 2015 Songlist

As with previous lists, I don't pick these. They pick me. They are songs that played on the radio, inspired me at the moment, played over and over or at key moments, and the like. Not every song makes it, but enough for me to remember the year, the races, and what happened.

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson "I'll spread my wings; And I'll learn how to fly". My 2015 year started off with a major mind-fuck blindside life change. 'Nuff said on that. But this stupid pop song was stuck in my head while walking the dog, running, sleeping, ugh. Then it seemed to always pop up on the radio. So it made the list, like it or not.

Solitude by Nina Simone "With gloom everywhere; I sit and I stare; I know that I'll soon go mad". In early March my back started spasming again. Running was the thing keeping me going, and suddenly running was painful and scaring me a bit. I think I was getting depressed -- I was coaxing myself to do the simplest of tasks. I was mentally cracking, and only barely realizing it.

Runnin' Down A Dream by Tom Petty "I felt so good like anything was possible". The Kettle Moraine 100 song. I had this in my head before I'd even registered. And the morning of the race, while packing bags at the hotel, I played this off the phone.

Rehab by Amy Winehouse "They tried to make me go to rehab and I said No, No, No". Once my back problems were diagnosed I spent a few months making the trip to West County for rehab. Although the PT itself I didn't mind, I was losing time so fast, just didn't have any extra to spare between all the life stress and realty errands. So I told Dr M 'no more, at least for now'. I needed to focus on healing the rest of me.

Set Fire To The Rain by Adele "But there's a side to you; That I never knew, never knew; All the things you'd say; They were never true, never true". Heard this in a waiting room and it stuck in my head for a while. Gotta have at least one rain song on the list! And the quoted lyrics fit.

Fight Song by Rachel Platten "But there's a fire burning in my bones; Still believe; Yeah, I still believe."  TH sent me this song. At first it was too sappy, eventually it won me over. It's still a sappy pop rock ballad though.

Just A Girl by No Doubt "What I've succumbed to is making me numb" A song for me and poor Sugar, who had just come home from her lengthy ICU visits in a full body wrap with scars from tubes and wires and surgeries. My life had turned into a roller coaster whirlwind and it was all I could do to just hang on and hope it ended soon.

Sabotage by Beastie Boys "So while you sit back and wonder why; I got this fucking thorn in my side". This came on the list in September, right around the height of my buy a house, sell a house, get ready for hip biopsy STRESS. I was picking up old habits that were only hurting me. Not The Monster, but definitely bad.

I Won't Back Down by Tom Petty "And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down; Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down". Ugh. Disney shit. 'Nuff said.

Ain't Worth The Whiskey by Cole Swindell "I don't care that you done me wrong; 'Cause I've already moved on". Late addition, needed more country music. Removed 'cuz he ain't worth space either.

My Girl by The Temptations "I've got so much honey the bees envy me". My sweet dog, my Sugar/Shuggah/Shoogie/Fitty-Pound bag of long-eared love. She was put aside to some degree over the past few months and I wasn't paying as much attention as she deserved. And then at the end of it all she's still what I look forward to upon coming home, still wagging her tail no matter how stressed and short-tempered I get.

Fit But You Know It by The Streets "Yeah yeah like I said you are really fit; But my gosh don't you just know it". A late addition to the list, putting it in 2015 even though I heard it in the first days of 2016. New to me, but from 2004! The TJM podcast played it on one of my runs through TGP. The bouncy beat was the perfect run tempo, I laughed with it, and even though Urban Dictionary tells me the word meanings aren't what they seem on the surface, I'm keeping it 'cuz it makes me smile.