Schedule and Goals for a rest week

PLAN:
Monday REST
Tuesday RUN 2-3 miles, STRENGTH, CALL to CP
Wednesday RUN 2-3 miles, 
Thursday X-TRAIN choice, STRENGTH
Friday RUN 5 miles, travel in late afternoon
Saturday Out of town
Sunday Out of town

Next week, back to 26 miles running!  

Summary of last week:
1. All running, all good, no pains problems etc
2. Body/breasts are swollen and pained. Feel heavy and swollen.
3. Anxiety of last weekend alleviated, not sure if it was low carb, #2 above or hormones?
4. Mental clarity, energy, and IF getting better.

Three body goals for the week:
1. Two strength sessions
2. Five to ten minutes per day of flexibility
3. Walk plenty!

Three nutrition goals for the week:
1. Stick to it with Saturday/Sunday travel, and preplan it
2. Establish the Noon M2
3. Pre-Plan and Stick To It!

Three mental goals for the week:
1. Figure out the anxiety at pre M3
2. Work on the 1-word list from last week 
3. Start the list of Bee-Coming

Special considerations for this week:
1. Dental and medical appointments
2. Travel and schedule disruption this weekend
3. Lack of flexibility is being noted

Talk to Coach:
1. The hunger at pre M3, real or imagined?
2. Feeling too full, then hungry again in 2 hours, what?!
3. I'm starting to re-establish confidence in what I want to eat, not what others are eating

26.2 mile week, and I need to sign up for the marathon!

Saturday REST

Sunday RUN 8 on treadmill, then RUN 1.7 outdoors with LA

A split run day, accomplished my goals of running outdoors and hitting the 9.7 miles needed to reach 26.2 for the week. It felt great, no pains no aches little fatigue.

I am noticing that my flexibility is low, squatting and reaching for something and moving outside a "normal" range is tight. So add in something to focus on that, before it becomes a problem. 

I'm low carb now since the 18th, only 12 days, the "flu" hit on about the 21st/22nd and hasn't really been there since. I'm also trying IF this week, waiting until noon. The low carb and IF doesn't seem to be impacting the running, I'm already running so slow!

This next week is a rest week, only 10 miles. Get outdoors for it!

I can't change the past, but I can change the meaning of it. And, I can chose Who I Want To Become

 Coach Patrick post. Just finished a few podcasts including the "how to change your past" and "defining who you want to become", paraphrased kinda throughout here. 

I'm stuck, at least that's how I feel. I'm stuck in a loop of unable to go back to who I was Before and unable to go forward to be who I want to Become. Who I was Before is easy to define: I was healthy, fit, ambitious, fearless, unstoppable. Who I am Now is: I feel unhealthy, my fitness is improving, I've lost the ambitious drive, I'm fearful of injury and change, and something as simple as my dog throwing up is enough to stop my day.

But who I want to Become is a different question, and so happens to be pretty undefined. At the surface, I want to be the Before Bee again - I want to saddle up for a run or ride and just crush it. I want to be able to roll out the door not concerned with what injury or illness or life stress is on my mind. 

But I've romantisized the past. I really didn't just roll out the door carefree. I had my share of injury and illness. I can break up the past into segments and see the similarities and differences:

Pre 2013. Cuz let's be honest, that's when it all started. I was Savageman, post-IM, ultra running. I was spraining my ankle a lot. The stress of pre Disney had my health in pre-decline. 

2014. Although my health was in decline, I was a rock star that year. MiTi and B2B. I used to think Bee 2.0 born here. Maybe my life really hinges on this year, not later as I initially expected. M was here too. 

2015-2018. I had plenty to worry about. Recent Disney, ongoing M, upcoming hip surgery, past fractures and medical appointments. Let's be specific. Disney. Brachial nerve injury. Compression Fractures. Celiac shit. Rib fractures. Stress fractures. 

Then heart attack, this is where I thought my life took a turn. It did. Maybe it's two turns total. Bee 3.0.

2019-2022. It started with HA recovery and nose dived into a mental hell. M all over. M all day. My body and mind changed in ways I struggle to recover from. I became fearful, hesitant, on-edge, distrustful. I started thinking the world was aligned against me. And that's me today. 

So when I say Before, I mean when? 2016 - another rock star year full of running and M. Sure I was injured, I was running on a torn hip and ran so much I stress fractured my fibia without knowing it. But I didn't give a shit and just kept going. 

But did I really? If I were to review 2016 would I find it all sunshine and roses? Or would I see spillage of M and mental anguish and problems like I have today? That's a good chore for this weekend - go back and look at 2016. Sure, I raced and ran a lot. It was my last "normal" year of life before everything took a turn. But really, was it so perfect?

And that's the past. Before Bee. What about Becoming A Baddass Bee? Who Am I Becoming? My assignment is to work on this! Really think about it and define it, with the goal of remembering my future and not remembering my past. 

Back2Back Runs, another this weekend?

Thursday RUN 6 miles treadmill at 3pm 
Friday RUN 4.5 miles outside! at 730am

As per plan, I didn't run Tuesday due to a long day at work. Due to Tuesday fatigue and continued pains from Monday's strength session, I didn't run Wednesday either. Then on Thursday I woke up stressed, had lab meeting, then had appt with dental surgeon, then during LAs dental appointment I went to the gym. I felt much better after the run! But the emotions still weren't cleared out. I didn't take care of them, I just buried them. 

So when we got home, after getting rings measured and a trip to Walgreens, I came home tired, cold, and hungry. I ended up eating a fast random M dinner before my shower. Ended up stressed about that. Ended up stressed and cold and regretting, went to bed overfull and stressed. 

Common theme here - I'm stressed. I can't pinpoint a cause, except it feels like everything.

Today, I ran outside! LAs truck is in the shop so he took the car. I'm a bit miffed that he just takes the car and there's no addressing how that impacts my plans and my schedule. What about my gym time? I can't really easily get to the gym without the car. Yet there was just this assumption that he can start taking the car early in the morning and I'll wing it however I can, if I can. 

There, I said it, I've been holding that thought back last 2 days. Now it's out there. Another common theme here - what about me?! 

Lately I feel as if everything happening around me is happening to me and not in my favor. I get to clean up dog vomit (at 2am this morning, and I emotionally cracked over it). I get to clean up the gel mess at work. I get to manage coworkers who apparently can't manage themselves. I get to clean up the kitchen counter mess, do laundry, clean floors, clean the house, take care of the dog, manage meals and food selection, cooking and clean up, more. "I get to" is what I say, but that's not how it feels. 

So this morning I did my Thought Download, some watercolors, my daily chores (I get to clear the countertops too), then once the sun was up enough went for a run! It snowed overnight, a crunch half inch, and I wasn't the first one to enjoy it. I did the Pioneer High Loop, 4.5 miles. It was cold, it wasn't easy to run on snow, but the delight of being able to do it was great. 

AND - I'm successfully IF today, it's 11am and I'm hungry but I need to wait just a bit. I can do this. I don't feel good when I eat to early, I regret it and it's off the goals that I've made for myself. I'll live. Embrace the Suck. 

The Better Version of You ran outdoors today, and the Better Version of You will wait until after 11, maybe wait until noon? (Go pass your cells!)

Loooong work day with first 30 mins update to Patrick

WORK 7am - 130am! 
WALKED 12K but that's it. 

And I'm back at work at 10 am the next day. Ugh. It's fucking cold outside, I'm having trouble staying warm. I'm always layered up and still cold. And as per conversation with Coach P, he's not telling me to run outside, but he's telling me that the Better Version of Me would run outside. 

But the better version of  me did a strength training on Monday and I'm sore as all hell. Yesterday it was like post-marathon leg burn. Today I took Tylenol!

From yesterday - start working on two meals a day, like 10am and 6pm. Stop the snacking. Stop the off plan stuff. And realize that hunger is not going to kill you, it will suck but it's not fatal. It will go away over time. But don't let it get you anxious.

Do a Thought Download every morning. Today's TD included stress about the work load, stress about the custody issues, thoughts about IF, and a congrats about a long day yesterday. 

Yesterday I was 136.8 and came up with a zillion excuses: strength training swell, too much salt, PB M. Then today 134.0. Fucking fluctuations. But last Tuesday was 135 and weekend was 133.6. Fluctuations. Hold the course. Although I'm not adding back the run energy, I'm still  noming the meals. I stand and hurry and surf the phone. I zone out and don't pay attention. 

I had dinner last night over the course of hours. Was hungry when I got home at 1:45 and didn't eat. THen waited until 930 (cucumber) and 10 am (eggs and meat and ghee) today. I was hungry. But it won't kill me. It just distracts me.

Goal today: I wanted to run 6 or 2 miles, but I hurt and we'll see. I will sit and eat my peanut chick and berries dinner, then done. I will get to bed earlier. I won't use my phone during dinner. Sit and pay attention.

Other things from Patrick - those were the highlights I think. I gotta get to work. Also, this is kinda a Thought Dump too!

I did the strength training!

RUN 6 miles (total distance 6.25 with walks)
STRENGTH as per CP, 20 mins? 

I need to log the ST before I forget!

My week is messy, and I'm trying to accomplish probably too much:
1. 26 miles running
2. Some of the running off the treadmill (in the snow?)
3. 4-5 days running instead of 3
4. IF maybe starting mid-week

5. ST routine
6. New HFLC, second week but still not adapted
7. Getting thoughts and anxieties under control
8. Lots to do at work
9. Dental surgeon appt on Thursday

10. Planning a marriage/wedding?!

Yikes. Take it easy!

One of my homeworks with Coach is to work on the Thought Model, part of which is a Thought Dump - write down all the thoughts and get them out of your head. I realized after thinking about that, that this blog is like my thought dump! I just don't write down all the thoughts. Just the training ones. 

The nutrition went OK over the weekend, no banned foods. But I still nom and munch, which is against the plan. I keep saying, oh next week I'll start that part. No!

Maybe I could do that soon. But first - get to work! I've been up since 4:30 (and poor sleep too) and it's 9:30 and I just got to work!!!!!!!

23 mile week ending on January 23rd

RUN 4 miles treadmill, easy 5.0 speed

Depending on where I put the 5 miler last Sunday (I mean to have it in this week) I have either a 17 or 23 mile week. The plan says 23, I couldn't run the 5er on Monday, and oh heck I'm overthinking this and just need to be happy -- 23 miles this week!

26 miles next week. You can bet that I'll have 26.2 just because. Then a rest week. 

This week is a busy one. LA's truck is not drivable, I have a 12 hour something day on Tuesday along with a 4pm Coach meeting, then I have Thursday afternoon with the dental surgeon. In between, kidney transplant day.

But really my issue is the lack of two vehicles. It means I will likely be doing the 26 off the treadmill, or in the evenings on the treadmill. I really need to mix it up, or I'l be pushing too fast too far by going outside all the sudden. I really shouldn't be doing 20+ plus indoors! Coach Patrick is telling me what I already need to know.

I didn't get to strength training yet, I watched the module only this morning. I'd like to do the workout tomorrow morning, if I can get to the gym at 5am and then be home by 6am for LA to get to work. Then I run....in the morning? I think so. 

I'm not through all the modules yet either, but I'm focusing on the ones he told me to do first. Those I have finished. And probably starting Wednesday I'll be IF as per his plan. But in my head it starts Monday? We can see, my meals are packed to start Monday.