Recovered from weekend fatigue, but not from stomach issues

Weds: TREADMILL 2.2 mile run as 120 (60)
           STRENGTH Arms and shoulders 20'

           COMMUTE 7 miles

Thurs: ELLIPTICAL 30 mins and 2.2 miles
           STRENGTH Core 20'

           SWIM skipped

           COMMUTE 7 miles

The run was 2 minute intervals and I did 4.5, 5.0, and 5.5 mph pace. I'm not sure I calculated the distance correctly, but the general idea is correct. The ankle was fine, a bit talky later but minor bother during the run. It was a bit of a brain fog run. 

I didn't give a run-down of my gut last few days yet, and since I'll be mentioning it here I should probably review it. Friday T=6 after being "sick" the last 2 days. Then travel all day Friday and most day Sunday. Saturday, Sunday, Monday no BM. Then Tuesday morning T=7 a few times, and since T=6 since. It's Thursday! A week of this shit! No pun intended. 

This morning at the gym I just ran out of energy. I ate an orange before leaving, I usually eat nothing or an egg and the orange seemed to only make me hungry. Was it an energy rush then crash? Does an orange have that much sugar in it? Eh....

I finish my core workout which was sub-par and my head is flatlined. I go home instead of swimming, and once home I hurry through breakfast, nom some more including persimmons (what's the FODMAP status of those?) then end up shivering cold and tired. Up to shower (should have done that 1st) and since then just brain fog.

My gut is uncomfortable - feels full and crampy. Feel like I don't want to move. I gotta fix this. 

How?! 

Slept 9-10 hours, ahhhhhh

COMMUTE 7 miles

MORE ?

Probably not more. I'm finally feeling somewhat normal and there's a back log of things to get done. I stayed up 'late' last night to work on my to do list while LA slept. 10pm is not really late, but it was for me. 

I didn't mean to sleep in until 753am but I did! So much for a few household chores and walking the dog and a short at-home workout. I amazingly enough got out the door at 9am to bike in. I was feeling tired and cold and didn't want to bike, but I did and no regrets. It's not that cold (yet) and I woke up with the ride!

So the Choices I made for today were to just rest, relax, and re-do the to do list to be less frantic. Working good so far!

The plan for the rest of the week:
WEDS 60' treadmill, 20' upper
THURS 30' swim, 30' x-train, 20' chest/back
FRI treadmill as it feels good, 20' core
SAT/SUN long ride and long run, relatively

How's other things? No more gall/liver issues. My hammie/hip niggle is gone (hopefully!), and my ankle didn't stiffen up to hurt like it did a month ago in the last long road trip. Now it's just the fatigue, and getting my eating back to normal and not munchie. 

 

Happy Birthday Bee!

 Happy Birthday, Bee!!

What a day this is turning out to be. LA and I drove back from MO last night after seeing the kids. We arrive around 230am or so, bed by 3 or 330 am or so or whatever does it matter. It was raining then and it's raining now. So aside from being brain-dull, I'm off my "habits" because I didn't get to bike to work and took the bus instead. Further, I didn't get to walk my dog as she was picked up from the kennel right before I left for the bus. 

So - changes. Different Day, as I sometimes call it. And a day full of Different and Changes means different Choices. And I think that's going to be a theme for me for awhile.

Last night I listened to JBP on Sacrifice - the action of choosing to delay gratitude now in order to make a better future. That's what I need to focus on in the next few months. Making choices that benefit Future Bee. 

Chose to follow your plans for the day, to sleep and eat and move, to be grateful and open, to not sabotage or lie. The day is full of choices, as JBP would say the day manifests itself as a series of choices for you to make. And it's up to me to make the choices for the Future, for the Good and for the Betterment of myself. 

Today is a good example - I'm forcing choices for myself to make sure I keep moving when all I want to do it sit or sleep. Don't linger and eat because that's easier than doing something else and you mind thinks more food equals more energy. Today it won't. 

I've made and re-made my to do list a few times now, I keep adding to it and oddly the birthday present I'd want to have it clear by the end of the night! Then sleep. Lots of it. 

This is a disorganized post - it seems so clear in my head but doesn't translate today. 

And what a year this turned out to be! We then moved to MI on the same day I found out I needed ankle surgery, we continued living half -here/half-there until July when I finally left StL for a new house, a new job, and a new life. That new life, by the way, also includes 153 days of no Azuc and the slow rotting death of M. I tried the AIP to unknown/unsure benefit. I'm using a list of no-go's for me that includes no grains, sugars, alcohol, major starches. I'm better for it! It's hard though. No sushi!

I recovered from ankle surgery (152 days ago) and I'm running again! The recovery was up and down, I seriously had days in which I thought I'd never run again. I had days I didn't know that I even wanted to run again. But now it's like I can't get enough. Even though I'm dead-tired right now I would run if I could. 

And biking! LA bought two bikes yesterday and I might now have a new bike partner. That's how we started just over 2 years ago now - on bikes on the MCT, followed by sushi. I should get at least sushi worked back into my diet. 

Well, I need to get back to work, I'll come back to this as the next 12 weeks progress - the 12 weeks in which I'm committed to making better choices. Today - just too tired and I'm choosing to come back to this later!

5 days of rest, and the gall of it. Liver me alone.

Full rest Thursday due to fatigue, then rest due to travel Friday through Monday. It was so restful in fact that my daily step goal dropped to 9000 from 12000. Ugh. 

Thursday I was wiped out tired, like unreasonably tired. I took the day off. That night I came home and just crashed out, and went to bed with gut pain. That's so common for me, I don't really take note of it. But soon this turned into an under-the-diaphragm constant pain, like I was punched (not stabby or burning) that kept me awake most of the night. The one think I needed to do was sleep, and it was awful. 

I was hot, then cold, then hot, etc all night. But not feverish. I tried to keep from waking up LA, but I didn't succeed much. By morning he was worried and wanted to take me to the ER. But we had to leave soon to get the kids!? 

My denial was impossible. I didn't want to go to the ER or see a doctor, but he was convinced I had some gall bladder or liver issue. But the fact that I lacked other symptoms confounded us. No fever, no jaundice, nothing but the pain. And fatigue. I took a shower and laid down again, and kid you not started to feel better. WTF? He thinks a gall stone might have moved around, causing the problem then moving again and relieving the problem.

So I didn't go to the ER, had no further symptoms, and sorta only validated my reasoning for not going to see a doctor for this. But I think he's going to push on it, but I'll push back unless other symptoms appear. 

Also this weekend - LA bought two bikes!

Rest Day. Do you see the Dragon, or the Dragon's Hoard of Gold?

REST DAY
COMMUTE 7 miles

Yesterday and last night I was falling asleep from about 2 or 3pm on, all the way until bedtime. I was in bed by 830 or so, and we had a phone call with the kids around... I dunno I remember seeing 2300 something on the clock...Garmin says 2311-2343 I was awake. And it says just under 6 hours of sleep but I think this is short. I dunno. So with my arms, chest, and back sore from strength training, my right ankle giving mild signals of fatigue, my left hip/hammie niggle being mostly quiet, the daylong fatigue, and the fact that I had a lot to do this morning to get ready to leave tomorrow...Oh and the thunderstorm that probably meant the pool was closed -- I stayed home.

I did my little chores, I sketched envelope pictures for the kids, the dog didn't want to walk for some reason and just wanted to eat grass. The garage door opener guy was supposed to arrive by 8am but didn't, and I had to be at work for a 9am meeting. It wasn't a relaxing morning in the end. 

Last night I bought chocolate and figs and yet Monster Starved. I went to bed early. Moria was lingered but I left at M3. I won the Come Home. No Sabotage. Lies.... yea I lied about amounts. Meditation yes during the mattress construction, to calm post M3 anxiety. Creation - no time I did that today instead. Gratitude yes when I admired how my arms hurt less today. Social - that I failed last night when I didn't support LA like I could and should have.

So today's Choices: Get out again, that was great. Get out and go to bed. STFU when it comes to stuff not your business, it won't change. 

I finished JBP Chapter 1 last night, stand up straight with your shoulders back. One line was about framing challenges as opportunities. Do you see the dragon with his hoard, or do you see the hoard the dragon has? Do you see the problems or the opportunities? 

Full Moon: Stand up straight with your shoulders back

STRENGTH: 20 mins of Exerprise generated core workout
TREADMILL: 55 mins of 1.466666 running as 120 (60) at 4.0, total mileage 3.40 miles
COMMUTE: 7  miles

I woke up to the full moon in our west window, I opened the curtain and enjoyed it. But it wasn't a totally calm moment, the dog was begging to go out. She's adapting to our early morning schedule. 

The moon was hanging in the western sky as I got to the gym, and I could see it during my core set. And as I was on the treadmill, it fell below a building and was gone. 

The run was great, minimal but present hip/hammie issues. The ankle was OK (but stiff) unless I took an expected step, like to reach forward to the phone. Then it would briefly hurt. But it's normalizing - the morning pain and stiffness is improving. I'm still doing ROM work to get that back. It seems like no progress, but I'm not measuring either. 

The hip/hammie seems to have something going on too in the lower back/pelvis. A stiff need-to-pop feeling. Is this new feeling due to me compensating somehow? 

And my arms and back and chest burn from the last two days of strength training. Maybe my abs will join the chorus tomorrow. 

So this change thing. I broke the year up in to 12-13 week segments and decided to work on specific things each segment. And I identified 10 areas I really want to focus on: Monster, Sleep, Moria, Coming Home, Sabotage, Lies, Meditation, Creation, Gratitude , Social Support. And to focus on a JBP rule per week (give or take). Geez, how would I integrate all this and not overwhelm?

Yesterday I mentioned that while I might not be able to Change who I am, I can Choose what gets me to the better me. So....what if I sat down every weekend and focused on those 10 things and pick  Choices I could make to get to a better me. Examples: gotta get more specific week by week though.

1. Monster. Just fucking kill him.

2. Sleep. Start shutting it down 830 and be physically in bed before 9:30.

3. Moria. Get in and get out. Be done by 7:30 at the latest, unless something else going on.

4. Coming Home. I'm rocking this goal already, and the anxiety is already improving. 

5. Sabotage. One failure doesn't mean the day is lost.

6. Lies. Stop fooling yourself, stop denying, and stop failing to recognize what happens.

7. Meditation. Find moments in the day of quiet and peace.

8. Creation. Spend more time on stained glass! 

9. Gratitude. Stop everyone now and then to appreciate what's happening, get in the moment. 

10. Social Support. For me and those around me. 

Specifics this next week:

1. Monster. Don't bring anything home to feed him.

2. Sleep physically in bed by 9:30pm and no phone after that.

3. Moria. Get out by 8pm, dishes and all.

4. Coming Home. I realized yesterday that 5 minutes of Drops app is 5 minutes of PT

5. Sabotage. Full is full. Full means stop after M3.

6. Lies. Get accurate about countings.

7. Meditation. Twice a day, just stop what you're doing.

8. Creation. 3 times a week downstairs

9. Gratitude. In the gym, stop to feel how good it all is.

10. Social Support. Reach to LA more readily, we both need it. 

Now how to really integrate this?

You might not be able to change everything, but you can make CHOICES

STRENGTH Chest and back 20 mins
SWIM 700 yards in about 20-25 mins
COMMUTE 7 miles

I used my new Exerprise app to generate at C&B workout - loved it! New exercises. My arms and shoulders are a little sore from yesterdays workout, now today I'm adding to it. I wondered, if it's better to do this before a swim, after a swim, or on another day that I'm not swimming. If I alternate days, then my arms don't get a rest. If I do it in one day, then it's like a 60 min workout then a rest. As to whether before or after is better - before! Otherwise I get out of the pool and leave the gym without the workout!

The swim felt messy since my arms were tired. So I slowed down and tried to focus on form. Tried. 

I noticed yesterday that my left hip/hammie niggle hurts a bit on the bike when I stand up or try to push on the pedals. But it's better on stairs than it was a few days ago, and when I move around on the floor or pull my heel in, it's also better. Keep resting!

I've committed to having a better Come Home Goal, and I haven't mentioned it yet. I should - it's been successful! I come home and have 5-10 minutes of getting things done for me that keeps me from getting stalled in Moria right away. It feels good, the anxiety of the first few days is lessening. 

Now to improve the 2x M3 in the evenings. I worked it yesterday so that I'm done by 7pm (and drank my tea earlier in the afternoon) so that I don't go to bed with such a full stomach that it keeps me awake. But then LA came home and while hanging out with him I had a second M3. Ugh. But I wasn't too full! I think the 4 cups of tea right before bed is the real culprit. 

I found another new podcast yesterday, and one of the topics was about how you are who you are, you probably aren't going to change. Timely topic for me, giving the transformation ideas I'm having. He said you might not be able to change who you are, but you can make choices that make you the better version of you. Love that.