I thought I was too tired. So explain to me today's pace!

RUN 6.6 miles in just under 55 mins, for a 8:15 ish pace
COMMUTE 6 miles

I went to bed fatigued, woke up fatigued, then started coming up with excuses as to why my run would be slow. Thinking...maybe I should shoot for a 10 m/m pace...maybe I should drop off the back right away so I don't feel like I was dropped too hard...maybe...oh HTFU. Just go.

It was just me and IT, DS and CB were there but ran their own loop. IT and I talked racing and I got to verbalizing some of my recent philo-tri-sophical thinkings. A summary is below, it's good to remember these and come back to them at some point. But first the run.

We started out at 8:45 pace but that turned out to be the slowest mile! I was huffin' and puffin', but keeping up! By mile 4 my legs were getting burned. My mile 5 I had tight muscles at the lateral quads. My mile 6 I was wobbly. But I knew I could do it, so I didn't stop or slow. This past Saturday's race really drove home the point that you can ignore those mental ramblings and perform well. And here I thought I was too tired.

So back to my mental ramblings. They fall into a few categories.
1. I hold myself back too much. As Saturday and today proved, I can push myself to improvement. So why don't I? Why do I let the mental side of "oh I hurt" or "oh I'm tired" win? Dammit, shove that weak shit aside and f'ing GO. Why don't I?

2. I see the race season as big waves, but I let them crash into shore instead of riding them out. A big build to an A race, big A race, then a hard crash after the A race. Sound familiar? That's me! I'd like to learn to go with the flow more in the season, to let races build with and for each other. To run the MT50 and keep some of that in the back pocket as base training for 3DoS.

3. I'm not trying very hard. I seem to think about trying hard, but am I out there doing it? OK no doubt I do a lot of work, this journal confirms that. But I'll loaf a ride to enjoy the social aspect instead of going out and doing my own thing at my pace. Those type of days are few and far between. Maybe a better way to say this is that I'm trying harder but not smarter? I run and ride (and swim) the same way all summer and do I really expect to improve?

4. I'm doing something wrong in iron distance racing and training. When the iron training is harder than 50M training, but then the 50M race is harder than the iron--what does that mean? IT pointed out that the 50M adds up to a lot of pounding on the legs. Good point. But at the same time, I know I haven't PUSHED in an iron tri yet. Heck, have I pushed in a half iron tri yet? I did once in an olympic and the results were good. But when it comes to long distance I tend to stick to Steady Eddy. And steady as she goes really just means that the only way she goes.

5. I limit myself at the swim. I was going to type something like "I can't swim no matter what" but I caught myself before doing it. Yesterday JM offered more coaching time in the pool. It got me thinking--would a few more hours help? I've spent hours and $$$ on swim lessons and Master's, with minimal if any improvement in speed. My confidence in the water went up, but my pace didn't. It's as if I don't Get It for swimming. They are all telling me the same thing, but I Don't Get It. Yeah, well, 1-2 swims a week this year ain't doing much for me: just look at Saturday's time of 53-f'ing-minutes! (OK OK it was a no wetsuit...but still). What if I dedicated to 3-5 swims a week? Go back to the Saturday Master's in MidCo? Commit to improvement? Look what it's done for my run, what could it do for my swim? Why do I limit myself by saying "I can't swim, I can't improve, I just don't Get It". Huh?   WHY?!?!?

Keep thinking...keep being honest.  You might learn a few things.