SWIM: 2050y in 65 mins.
RUN: 3.5 mi in 32 mins.
BIKE: 22 mi in 75 mins
I have two posts for today, the first is this one about the swim. The second is a general overview of life. I’d combine them (and I might still yet) as they play off each other quite a bit. But I’d like to focus on each and really dissect things.
Today was Monday Master’s. I left the house earlier than my usual late time and arrived at the pool around 5:20. The swim starts at 5:15 which means I should be arriving at 5:10! Considering that I’ve been arriving at 5:30 the past few times, this is sort of a win.
Today was also long-freestyle day, which should be my favorite swim time. But it’s not. This swim just crushes me. My lane buddies are either getting faster, or I’m getting slower. There are more lane buddies, that has something to do with it. Instead of 4-5 peeps we have 6+ on most Mondays. And of the 6, I’m the slowest. I’m OK with that. But I’m not OK with that, and see that’s where this swim goes MENTAL.
I get passed in mid-lane. People skip a wall touch to get around me if I’m at the wall. If I’m at the wall people flip turn right into me cuz I don’t get out of the way. I’m swimming at my near max speed, more worried about who is coming up behind me than I am about my own form and swim. I feel like an obstacle. I feel like I should be one more lane over. But I worked hard to get “up” a lane and although sometimes when I’m not in the mood for a contact/competitive swim I seed myself in that slower lane it’s not where I belong. So I don’t want to move over. But I do.
No I don’t. I don’t swim any faster in the slower lane. Yet I’m not swimming any faster in my current lane. I’m swimming messier. The train of swimmers ahead of me is about 25-30y long so when I get dropped off the back it doesn’t take long before the first swimmer is on my toes. I’ll stop at the wall, let the train go by, then get back to my swim. They swim a 500, I swim broken 400. I get whatever swim in I can around their swim. For me—no intervals, no long sets. Instead it’s swim a 50, let some people get by me, swim a 25y, see who is coming up behind me and if needed let them go by, swim 25 repeat, repeat, repeat.
I get done with this swim and I’m wiped. My neck hurts. My arms are sore/tired. I’m a little dizzy from the effort. My stomach is upset from the stress. It’s one hour of OMG SWIM FASTER!!!!! and it’s not doing my head any good. And I do mean my head. It does a body good to work hard and be taxed. That’s how we build up! But what happens to me is in my head. I worry about the swimmer behind me. I worry about my swim. I worry about my form. I worry about getting out of the way. I worry about why I keep hitting the lane lines. Worry, worry, worry. It’s all in my HEAD.
There’s 2 ways to go about addressing this. The first is the way I’ve been doing it. Swim like a little mouse trying to stay out of the way and keep everyone happy. This is how I live. I live my life doing things to make other people happy. I generally tend to hate confronting, negotiating, or standing my ground. If I can find a happy middle, I consider that a win.
And how’s that working for me? Well, I get run over.
I end up running club errands in my spare time. I write newsletters in my spare time. I take on projects that others need help with in my spare time. I volunteer myself to help others out. I get stressed out, overworked, dizzy with to-do’s. And I keep talking about spare time. I don’t have spare time! Where is this spare time I keep mentioning??
Oh yeah. I don’t have it. Which is why I keep getting run over. I can’t say No to keep my sanity. I let people pile up on me. I’ll be unhappy and never let on when maybe a few words could change the tide to my favor.
The second way to address this is to follow LC’s plan that she mentioned this morning. She saw this swim getting fast for her, so she decided that she was going to swim like Hell at lactate threshold if that’s what it took to get the swim done. She said it was hard at first, too tiring, too draining. And now? She’s keeping up and holding her own in the train. This is one of the things I admire in LC. She’ll stand up for it, she’ll say it, and she’ll do it. I try to find a way around; she’ll find a way through.
Where is that in me? Where is the Me that will say “if you want to swim faster than me then you’ll have to go around me cuz I’m not gonna hang on the wall to let you go by”?
Bad enough that I was less than happy about how my Nov training plan was and had to be encouraged to ask about it. Bad enough that I get unhappy with work and have to encourage myself to be interested in it. Bad enough that IM-f^cking-CdA is a few weeks away and I’m not psyched up for it yet.
Oh yeah. IMCdA. I just did the math, and it’s 27 weeks away. That doesn’t sound like much, I like 6 months and 12 days better. 195 days? No 6 months sounds better.
OK here goes that 2nd post I mentioned earlier. I knew I’d blend them; they’re just hard to separate.
27 weeks away, I’m not excited, and I’m trying to ride out a low mood I’m in. I’m working on the “quit waiting” problem from a few weeks ago, I’m trying to live in the NOW. Well right NOW I feel behind on training. I feel like I should be crushing monster miles and endless hours. Not coasting. OK, granted, I’m coming off a high base level. When I did IMWI base training I was starting from a lower aerobic level. It’s probably safe to say that I don’t need huge base right now, because I already have it. OK, I’ll agree with that.
On the other hand, having CP has taken a huge load off my mind. I can remember prepping for IMWI and worrying over the training plan. What it right for me? Does it address my strengths and weaknesses? Will it get me ready? Will it work for me? With CP, I know I’ll be ready, I know my S&W will be addressed in time, and I know this training plan is mine. But yet I feel like I’m not doing enough. What was I doing at this point for IMWI? Easy way to look! Backtrack through this training log.
I’ve been wanting to backtrack for a few weeks now, in part to get back some of the interval workouts for the trainer and swimming (I can’t just sit there and come up with a workout on my own, I need the structure) and in part to compare this year to that year. I’ve told myself to not compare these years as there are too many differences. First time vs second time. Just finish vs time goal. Self coached vs coached. All in all a poor comparison, I know. But I still want to do it.
So I go back and surf the Ultra plan. For IMWI at 27 weeks out, I was doing 12hrs/week. 3x swim, 5x bike, and 4x run. Right now I’m doing maybe 10hrs/week and 3x swim, 2x bike, and 3x run. Yikes?!? Is that enough? Why am I not biking more? Am I running enough for a marathon?
Calm down. The marathon is 6 months away. Indoor training rides suck. And is 12 hrs that different from 10hrs?
If I want to improve, following the Ultra plan again isn’t the way to go. And we already know I want to improve. Otherwise I’d be parked on a couch.
That’s why I keep putting myself on the deck of the CoC pool every Monday morning for Master’s. Because I want to improve. Staying home in bed or swimming alone or swimming with a slower group is the equivalent of following last year’s training plan.
So here I sit, mulling over ways to improve. And while I was reviewing training log from “one year ago”, I found this post. God Damn, this sux. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Sounds like what I just typed above, doesn’t it? Except the tears. I didn’t almost cry this time out of frustration. But I was a bit shaky, my dismay showed on my face, and when CHG asked if I was resting because I raced this weekend I was just crushed. Crushed.
No, I didn’t race this past weekend. I rested. I did no house work and no training. I should be rested, refueled, and ready. Instead I was sitting out an easy 50 so I could be ready for the real intervals.
Crushed.
So what’s the plan, stan? Keep mousin’ through life? Or stand up and fight back?
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