No energy, overwhelmed, but OK. Eliminate FODMAPs

WALK 20 mins with LA, kids on bikes
COMMUTE 7.6 miles 

I went to bed in IBS distress last night. Looking at maybe why:
Home alone (kids did call from library): broccoli with mustard and ketchup in a coffee mug, 2 raw carrots with mustard, zucchini with mustard, lentil soup with ketchup, more lentil soup, more lentil soup, more lentil soup, rice cake with imperial and molasses, another rice cake with same, potato chips in a coffee mug, cherries by the handful......

No wonder. The soups were a few spoonfuls of frozen soup (didn't even warm it) in a bowl with ketchup on top WTF

Lots of FODMAPs lately, and since I've by symptomatic since start of July, it's time for a 4-6 week reset. Say, until the end of August? I bolded foods above with FODMAPs. Really, this again? 

And really, M3 like that. Again?

The maths I did yesterday, showing it could take MONTHS to goal, what a reality check. 

I'm overwhelmed at work - still days behind after the 4th of July weekend. Behind due to extra ELISA days. LA is overwhelmed with his stuff, and it hits me too. Worrying about him, wondering about what's next. I'd love to just take a day off to get stuff done, but when?!

Left hip issue from tennis? And M3 success! Maths for futures.

BASKETBALL!
COMMUTE 7.6

Yesterday amendment - it rained so LA gave me a ride home. 

How's about a dose of reality, and a hit of history. I made my usual Excel spread sheet to log changes. At least, end of Sept 1230 goal, and not until Xmas if half that. And mid-Jan for FG, and until until 1 year from now if half that. 

A year?! What did it take before? 

08152013 1306 to 08212014 1140 was 1 year for 15

Here - 15 would be ... MY BIRTHDAY

OMG that's 15 weeks 

Left hip pain

RUN 0.5 miles, then walk the rest
COMMUTE 7.6 miles

My left hip hurts today, and along with the itchy face I've had and the foot/joint pain, I'm now convinced that dairy is not my friends. No mas. 

So we did what we could, walk then run a bit. My energy is low, flat, my chest feels swollen and heavy, my legs tired. Hormone flux? 

Yesterdays plan went mixed. Home to wait, then planned M3 along with random but planned broccoli. Then cauli soup, then cauli soup, then frozen (!!) lentil soup (I couldn't even warm it?!), then ham with hummus and lettuce and ketchup, then lettuce and hummus and ketchup, and FULL. SICK. PAINED. 

I suspect that my new cinammon tea is a problem to keep an eye on. So is the eating of fiber supplement (too much, unnecessary) and now for about 1-2 weeks I wake up with T=6. Gotta fix.

Tonight, try again. Again. Again. Again. 

Starting again, making changes

 It's 4pm, and I'm on schedule for the day.

Gym. Commute. 10am M1, 230 pm M2, plans for 6-7pm M3. HIIT later with the kids.

10 years ago: I was doing 65 mile rides (Freeeeeeeeebbbuuuurrrrg), a Castlewood marathon, and soon Rt 66 half iron tri. A week later I was trying to figure out why I had a Big Build/Big Crash, focused-only-on-training way of life. How could I make training and racing less On/Off? How could I have fun and still race and train?

10 years later, I'm trying to figure out if I should try to do less strength/free weights and do more HIIT, if Noom will work or not, and marveling how I could spend an entire weekend and not touch my bike?!

10 years ago was 8-31-13 was 1286.  
10 years later will be along those lines! Even the Noom graph agrees. 

Back then it was 2lbs per month slide. Upon review, it's been 2lbs per month since 1st of May to now. So am I really so off track? 

Poor start to the 300s

 Last week...mostly 2-3.5 miles RUN, COMMUTE most every day, no GYM. 

Due to 4th of July travel, short work week, and other stuff - I didn't get much done. 

But I did start eating cheese (can't waste it, right? But I can waste my subscription and myself?!) and noted this morning pained feet again. I haven't had that in awhile, and with all the rest I just logged it's hard to blame that lack of activity for the pains. 

So I threw out the cheese this morning. 

I have plans for 12-13, but have now averaged up to 15. And that's just what I'm logging. I've been consistently breaking my plans.

And it shows. And it feels. And it's heavy. 

Last night while making HIIT cards I read about celeb w8 info. Read how. I know how. 

Today I waited until 10am, at least. 
Today I initiated!
Today I did get to the gym, although a bit late because I remade the oats to not have ghee and be 120.
Today I did kettlebells, abs, upper on a bosu, and elliptical, home by 8am.

Today is 305. Today is per plan. Today is ... for me. 

301 days

RUN 2 miles then walk 1 mile
COMMUTE 3.35 miles in... and 

Today will be 301 days! Friday will be 1500 days. But who's counting. 

Today will also be day 1. Day 1 of getting it right.

Preplan. Prepare. Preplate. 

No phone or distraction. 

Wait, be calm, just wait. 

These are the last monsters. 

Progress, not perfection, but yet progress towards it. 

Freedom from …

Anxiety. Stress. Being overweight.

I was going to type over whelmed. But the autocorrect/suggest said overweight.

That's a good way to put it. Overweight mentally and physically. The weight of ….

Of what. I'm buffered out today. It's another day of travel, I don't like travel. This sucks. The negativity. The lack of schedule. The constant attention. The constant people. The bickering. The attitude. The disrespect.

I realized that when the crowdedness is too much, I can leave. I just left. Again. To the beach. I'm supposed to be no screen in bed.

Chest pounds. Can't think. Can't breathe right. Tightened chest. A swirl.

I realized too that when I tell them to do something, it's me talking to me. My angry self talking to me. When I tell them to eat real food. Have a glass of water. Veggies. Are you hungry. Stop and pause. I'm wishing I had someone to talk like that to me. ?

Freedoms from. Comparisons. Moria. Regret. Wishing. Wanting.

Wanting change. Wanting less. Wanting more.

Tomorrow is 300 days no Monster. I treated today like it didn't count but it does. 500plus CO. Hotel food and habits. Waste. Screens. Garbage.

The sun sets. The waves touch the shore. The colors change and darken. Another day is gone. Another day lost.