15 years, and so much has happened. IMWI was the start of my long course career, the completion of that race was my 'proof' that I can set my mind to anything and do it. That was the original goal, you'll see it if you go back and read the initial posts.
Since then so many races, injuries, life changes. Recently moves and improvements and changes in life goals as I turn 50 years old.
One of my first thoughts on realizing the anniversary - was M there 15 years ago? I know we were acquainted. We'd been aware of each other since UIUC, in California and at home. Moments burned into my memory. But wasn't there a gap? Iowa? Wyoming house #1? I think so. I think it was Compton when we met again. And he didn't leave. Not for the move to Wyoming #2. For Soulard. For Michigan.
But the bastard died in Michigan, and he's not here now. Being able to say that almost means more to me than being able to wear this polo shirt. Sometimes I wish I could go back to then, the life I had before and be able to race and run and ride and feel so strong again. But I couldn't go back to M. Those two lives are closely intertwined. I wanted to go back to STL, and the life I had there for 18 years. But I was afraid to because M and STL were so closely associated. Dogwood Trail. SaveALot. Creve Couer Aldi.
It's the past. You can't go back no matter what anyway. No man stands in the same river twice. Isn't that how it is?
Today, some issues still remain but I'm so changed. I'm looking towards retirement. Towards the kids being in college. Will there always be issues? Yes. But they don't have to be these issues. The Orcs of M, the Mines of Moria. Minions and traps and pitfalls. Regrets and desires and unfulfilled goals. This can change too. Look at how much has changed already. Look at how much you are capable of.
Look at what you want to change and realize YOU CAN DO THIS.
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