Have I had a Mindset Shift?

RUN 4 miles in 40 mins, with 2x 1000m speedwork

I'll be adding COMMUTE here soon, it's on my list to get Puppy ready to go, even though the morning weather is less than ideally warm. 

Today's run was 2 miles with LA (preparing for Army 2 mile under 21 mins) and he was out of breath by the end. I was jealous and took that forward into my workout. We did the Pittsfield Library and back. 

Then I was on my own for 2x 1000m at 10K sets. Embarrassingly, last night I couldn't do the math for 1000m to miles, I knew it would be "about 0.65", but didn't connect the km to miles until I asked the iPhone for an answer. 0.62 miles

The plan was at the start of a 1.0 mile lap, to go and run until 0.62 miles. The first interval was in 4:53 with the slight downhill on Maple, the second was 4:50 coming back but without the hill. I was winded at the end, happily, but surprised to find I still had some pep during the cool down. When I'm running fast, I don't feel like my feet are going to land correctly, is that giving some hesitation? And I was a bit disappointed to see the paces afterwards - very close to my mile TT time last week - shouldn't these have been faster at only 0.62 miles? But the instructions was for 10K pace. I dunno.

Sunday on my long run with the Kastor audiobook I started to have a mindset shift. I realized about 1 minute away from my parent's house that I'd forgotten my water bottle. Instead of turning around to get it, it turned into a punishment for me - if you're going to be so stupid to forget that, then you're going to be thirsty. Huh? Why do I think that? Why am I so hard on myself? 

And in a question for Coach (only a month left, I NEED to mindset shift NOW) is if I'm graceful with myself, forgiving if that's the word, how will I improve myself. If everytime I make a mistake I let it go with grace, where's the repercussions of the mistake? On the scale, I guess.

Starting Sunday, after the equinox, I vowed to sit during all foods. No more countertop. And dang that was hard yesterday! But it did slow me down. And I'm back on track with wanting to stick to my plans (the Make A Plan 24 Hours Out was slipping for me) (no fuck that I was slipping on the goal, not the other way around!). 

Progress seems minimal, when the scale doesn't change much. But instead of peaking to 137 for whatevershit hormone stuff is going on, I went up to 134 or 135 and came back down to 131 instead of 134. But I'm stalled there.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. I gave up sugar and fruit and bacon, but added cheese. I gave up on IF and changed to 3 smaller meals. I stayed at 14-1500/day even though I added running, but I'm not an accurate logger. 

My mind has definitely improved the past few weeks. I feel like things are clearer and there's less problems to deal with. I see an avenue for change an improvement, finally, after months or years of anxiety and stress. 

The mindset shift is hard to write, it's more of a feeling. But I feel like an athlete. I feel strong and fast and more decisive. I feel like I can challenge myself and respond to it, instead of feeling piled on. I'm confronting problems and passing on stressful thoughts and looking for more. 

But I need to look for less too, haha, or the scale goals won't be there.