5 windy miles

RUN 5 miles in 52.5 minutes, no walks or rests

It's finally warmer out, but misty with rain in the area and WINDY. Ugh. But otherwise a great run, on the high school loop that with a tweak adds up to 5 miles if I overlap just 0.1 miles past the house. 

Last night some toenails on my right foot bothered me, I expected to find them swollen or red or just as bothered as I was - but they look normal enough. And my right hamstring is tight. I can feel the pull when bend to reach something low or stretch it. In addition to a tight right ankle, it made for a rough-feeling run. So I need to focus on this right leg, and enjoy the rest I have for the next few days. 

I attended Coach's Tuesday night group session, I was alone with LA in MO and had just spent the last few hours nom'ing in the kitchen. I sat for all of it, but stared at the phone and bounced and bounced, back and forth, and over ate. I did the same thing Monday night. Lonely. I was eating to avoid how I was feeling. Usually M is there too, but he's out now. No more. 

Ironically enough, the topic of the group session was emotional eating, it had been for the whole month of March so I now need to go back and listen to that, given that it seems to be an issue. I don't think of lonely, bored, and waiting as emotional prompts to eat - but they are! I was lonely these last two nights, so I ate to avoid it. When I'm waiting for something, to leave or run or go somewhere, I'll wait in the kitchen and grab a snack. 

In Tuesday's individual call, I discussed this with CP. The general guidance is - my thoughts control my emotions, so what am I thinking in these moments? I'm not, which is part of the problem. I don't think I just do. But it's on me to take responsibility and ownership of what happens. There's no one else to blame, and besides blaming someone else takes away my control and makes me a victim (of myself?). 

After Tuesday's call, I managed to do as I promised - come home, walk the dog, wash my face, do a chore - then sit for dinner. I did this Wednesday night too. And then on Weds I stopped earlier than I did before, not early enough, but earlier. And I didn't go to bed feeling sick and upset. Progress!