B2B Day Before The Race

Weds nothing! All driving, some monster issues though
Thurs RUN 4 miles about 38 mins
Fri BIKE about 2-4 miles? Lol, not sure a shake down counts

So here I sit on the eve of the race, I'm antsy, hungry and not hungry, thirsty and not thirsty, unable to sit still but wanting to nap.  My legs feel swollen. I don't feel particularly energetic. But my head is clear, the taper worked, and I'm ready to rock!

The past few days have been good, if a little unregulated and unplanned. That always throws me off but I'm doing good with it. I miss my normal foods! Of all the silly things! But I'm being good with foods, happy that I've reintroduced dairy.

Ok I'm wandering here.

The weather looks to be perfect. The water warm and smooth. The sun high all day and winds low. I've got the best forecast for a birthday race!

I've been targeting this day as a day marking a change for me.  No more monsters. No more letting the Blerch in. No more regrets, wish-I-woulda, or letting life go by the way I am now. I hate to admit the problems I see in me. Can't even type them here in a safe zone.

I tend to notice patterns and omens. I can't even guess how many "break bad habits" articles I've seen in the past week. On Wednesdays run I passed a church with a sign: John 3:3 You Must Be Reborn. (Upon further reading it was really John 3:7 but who am I to argu with a church?!". This is the multipleth "reborn" mentions ive seen recently. What does it all mean? (Aside from the fact im hyper vigilant because I'm thinking along those lines...).

One of my new obsessions since MiTi has been watching that transformation show on the trainer. Participants are given one year to make changes with a personal coach. I was jealous! To have an opportunity to have a coach lead and push you through changes, but this was a health and weight loss show, I certainly don't need to be jealous of that, lol! But still, I yearned for what they had a chance to do.

Well I do have that chance! I can designate at year of focus and growth. I could set 90 day goals, chase after what I'm looking for, and work towards what I'm yearning for.

The race start is 7:30am, and I'm told I was born around 7am. Since this is the east coast, it's safe to guess that I'll be swimming 39 years after that event..I'll be climbing out of the water like from a baptism. The rest of the day will be a trial of personal strength and fortitude, ending at a finish line I've thought about for the past year now.

Keeping it focused, my first 90 days are focused on slaying the monster, and getting my train on the right track. I'll start another Whole30, live more of the Whole9, work on habit breaking and reaching the goals I have in mind. This isn't the forum for detailing that, but it will appear here over time maybe.

It's a birthday gift to me, ahead of my 40th birthday. One year to finally take head on problems that have plagued me since .... Since way too long.