BIKE 40 mins aerobic
SWIM 62 mins and 2750y, with 12x100 (10)
The bike was something only an iron training would ask you to do. Ride 40 mins aerobic zone, and put in a 27 min "interval" to spice it up. I might have benefited more if I'd have done some strength training or stretching, but the plan is the boss. Not me.
The swim was a WU with an intermediate set of 9x50 as 3x [easy-medium-hard]. Then a 12x100 with 10s rest, keeping track of overall time. Then a 500y at 75% for aerobic extension. Then CD.
Well I woke up feeling great (no run yesterday can do that to a person...) and by the time I got to the pool I was upbeat but for some reason not looking forward to this swim. I was feeling super-pleased with my lifestyle changes, now in the 3rd week. My meals have been 95%+ perfect, I'm not sick to my stomach every night, I'm not hungry all day, I'm not constantly pushing little challenges on myself. I'm calmer, I'm taking time, and savoring food and the moments of the day. My mental clarity is so much better without the clutter.
So back to the swim. I'm feeling so upbeat that I pick a different row of lockers than usual! All 10 years at this gym and I don't think I've ever explored the other rows of lockers. "I'm turning a new corner", I tell myself.
But it turns out, the corner was really much later, after the swim.
As I was reading the plan for the swim, I started debating doing the alternate set of just 9x100. Why? I don't know! I just didn't think I could do it? Of course I can do it! Hell, I swam 2550 on just this past Sunday, why don't I think I can do it?! OK, maybe that's not the right word. I'm feeling doubt...but not about about ability...I'm feeling doubt about...having to do the work? I've been thinking on this for over 24hrs now and still don't have the words for it.
So back to the swim. I WU then count my way through the intermediate WU set. The pool has been cold lately and I'm doing my best to ignore it. Best way to do that is keep moving. So I put on my lap counter and set the watch so I can get lap counts, 100y times, and overall times. Gadget Geek Triathlete. I just jump right into the 12x100, not going fast but aiming for smooth and steady. My goal was to have all 12 be the same effort and time, no fading towards the end. The overall time was 26:40, each 100y averaged 2:05-2:10!
Why did I think that would be so hard? Then the 500, then I'm done. Woot!! I did it!! Yippee!!
Hold on folks, I still haven't turned that corner yet. I'm getting to that part.
Another long hot shower trying to warm up my body (I should start tracking time in that shower, at least 15-20 mins per swim, kid you not!!) and looking back on the swim. The dread is gone, and now I'm fist-pumping and mentally high-fiving myself for getting the swim done without cutting it back.
Wait. What? I did the minimal amount of work to "call it done", and I'm excited for that?! What's wrong with this picture?
I starting considering this on the drive to work: I did the minimal amount of work; I did enough to say it's done. I'm going about this all wrong, and I'm making two huge errors.
First off, I'm doubting myself too much. I KNOW I can swim a 12x100. Most any of us in this business can knock down a 12x100 swim given whatever time needed. So I can't call it doubt. I haven't come up with a better word yet, so I'll call it laziness. I'm being lazy. But that voice in my head is so constant, so loud, so convincing sometimes that as I'm walking to the pool deck I'm still doubting whether I can do this even when there's really no question that I can. That script needs to go, I need to start writing better mental scripts. This will make more sense in a few more paragraphs.
Second off, that laziness is translating every year into more of the same. My times aren't improving. And how do I know this? Well...I don't. And why is that? Because I don't track my times!!!! I have only a rough idea of my benchmark times, I can spit out a few numbers I might have done last year. I can reel off my PR's. But I can benchmark progress with my current (ie non-existent) tracking plan.
So here are the changes I need to make. I'm going to start a spreadsheet with my PR times, recent race times, and benchmark training times. I'll curate and groom and get acquainted with this list. I might even share it with others to keep me motivated.
Next, and getting back to the mental scripting, instead of doubting whether or not I can swim a 12x100, I should be wondering whether I can swim that 12x100 a few seconds per 100y faster than the last time. I should be able to walk into that deck with confidence that I can do it, and butterflies at the idea of trying to do it better. Instead of focusing on the whether I can or can't do the minimal amount of work, I need to accept the fact that I CAN DO THAT, and start making real progress towards this year's goals.
There should be a name for this doubting voice. I tried to come up with a Bee Binary to help me define it, but I'm thinking now that maybe it's my Blerch? I've already conquered the "stay on the couch and eat cake" Blerch. I'm now facing the Blerch of self-doubt: A Level 2 Blerch that says 9x100 would be easier, 400 would be shorter, pulling would be less work.
I have a Blerch problem!? And Ima gonna kill that bastard, one self-doubting thought at a time!!
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