One month post-SCAD

In a neat coincidence, I had my start of cardiac rehab one month after I was admitted for the SCAD event (until DrB changes the dx, I'm going to keep calling it that, even though the cath report and cholesterol numbers might indicate suggest otherwise). As I was driving to St Mary's this morning, I looked back on the morning I drove to the ER. What a whirlwind since then.

I'm doing OK, I think. I mean, really, considering all that's happened, I'm going OK. Good, great, even. Today is also 4 weeks into the 8 weeks of "slow walking and lifting restrictions" put in place. Half way there!

What's changed? Not terribly much. Mostly my diet. I'm now dedicated to grass fed/finished, opting for more olive oil instead of butter, aware of my saturated fat intake.

I miss training! But after 4 weeks of nothing and seeing another 4 weeks of nothing head of me, all the momentum is sucked out. When I see a runner or cyclist, I yearn for that feeling of movement and motion, wind and sun, exertion and pulse and fatigue and push.

I have not, as suggested by others, started writing a book or picked up a new hobby. To be honest, I'm not sure where my time has been going. Crossword and puzzles. SO. Selling shit from the house. Butterflies and gardens. More time in bed, some of it sleeping some of it just lying there (or is it laying there?) trying not to think.

Some of my OCD-type habits came back, they're OK, not harmful. Just quirky and re-focusing. Not the stair climbing one though. I miss that habit.

After close connections to family and friends in the first week, all the updating and news and such, I've reclused again back to normal. Not much to say, so I don't say much. 

I still don't feel like a "survivor", or that I went through some harrowing life and death ordeal, but everyone around me seems to think I did. I'm still not sure if I'm disconnected from it or if they're overreacting or if I tell the story in a way that leads them to that conclusion. 

But all in all I'm doing OK. No, I'm doing good!