...the thrush that awakes at day-break...sings because it is happy...

…the thrush that awakes at day-break with its song, does not sing because it is paid to sing, or to please others, or to be admired or criticised. It sings because it is happy; it pours the thrilling sounds from its throat, to relieve the overflowings of its own heart—

William Hazlitt 1818

RUN 6 miles in 60 mins, ave HR 133

No bike commute, still icy

Over the weekend I heard a quote from a Buddha podcast about how a bird that sings isn't singing to please others or make money, rather it's singing because it has a song. And in that moment I realized why I'm not excited to race yet this year. I'm too focused on the end, the finish line, the 'fortune and glory' of my races. It's an output of last year's "gotta finish the 100" feeling. I got focused on the goal, the finish, the accomplishment, and lost sight of the fact that I love to run! I love the purpose, the planning, the tidbits, the social, the different venues. 

So with that, it seems like a clog broke for me. And suddenly I'm interested in training plans, races, and planning with my Excel spreadsheets.

Yesterday a lot of planning started to fall into place. My goals became more concrete: 100k, 70.3, and what might be my birthday race -- a 50M/50k weekend challenge in Wisconsin! And finisher's get pajama pants! WHOOP!

Yesterday I started a spreadsheet, last night I penciled in changes, today I updated and color coded my weeks. I have penciled in -- a 6hr overnight race (Dark2Dawn), a 100k (Shawnee Hills), two 70.3 races (Rt 66 and the new Litchfield), and the grand-daddy 50/50 (Wedel Farms). Not sure about both 70.3 races -- it makes for a messy schedule. 

But if I stay focused on my endurance, low HR, and get back to bike and swim I can pull this off.

BUT -- first things first here. I have two somewhat major body issues. First off I've been slacking on my strength training and I can feel the weakness and stiffness in my back. I thought I was doing as Tom says "embrace your car", but in doing so I lost sight of "...for the rest of your life". In talking to him Saturday, I learned that I do need to embrace your car and drive the hell out of it but I have to take care of it everyday. 

Second, my left hip. I gotta admit, this isn't getting better. Hard to say if it's getting worse. Today while running it was a constant nag. It's somewhere between really bad discomfort and pain. Hell, just sitting here I'm aware of it. It's kinda like a super tight muscle. It aches  -- sometimes not just the hip but down into the quad and femur and sometimes the calf. Many options for what's going on. Nerve? That might explain the whole leg, pulsing, random problem but I don't have other nerve symptoms. Tight connective or muscle? This would explain the quad/femur/kinetic chain effect, and it would explain the alternating good and bad days. Some days more loose than others?

But I can't explain why sitting still and even more confusing lying in bed can be so uncomfortable! Not moving at all, the pain will come and go. It's doing that right now.

In the run today, I was 90% resolved to call Dr M. What is my hesitation for that? It's not like he won't believe me, like he'll think I'm nuts. But I do feel 'weak', like a complainer, like a problem child. 

And finally, some numerics of the biomedical kind. At the health fair at work: 118 pounds, 9.5% BF, 11.5lbs body fat, and my right arm is 0.3lbs heavier than my left. And it wasn't the Garmin, haha!