Tried a long run

RUN: 12.2 miles in 1:55

Here's another good example of how unfunctional I am lately. I wake up this morning at the first alarm-- 3:45am for a 4:50 run and decide against it. Actually it wasn't so much a decision as it was a protest. My mind and body just didn't want to go yet. Sleep is good, right? Snooze.

The second alarm--4:15am for a 5:30 run was my alternate alarm. By starting at this time I would meet up with LC, who was running 18 miles, and get in about 2 laps with her. Again, a protest and a snooze.

The third alarm--4:45am for a 5:50 run is the usual Thursday alarm that is always set. Finally I woke up, wobbled out of bed and dragged myself to the coffeepot, as per usual routine, and sat in the kitchen wondering: How will I get to my run with the truck broken down? Rich said not to ride my bike or run in the dark, so I can't get to the park now! What will I do? Didn't I work this out last night? I thought I had this figured out.

So there I sat, wondering what to do. And while sipping on the coffee, I remembered. The truck was fixed last night! The whole plan was to DRIVE to FP because we made an effort LAST NIGHT to fix the truck. OMG! Get dressed and rush out the door! I wonder sometimes if it should be legal to let someone so scatterbrained have a set of keys and a vehicle.

By the time the run started, I was still not really awake. But there I was, running along at a decent clip. The group was only 2 other people and I wasn't sure I could keep up with them. My mind and body were at odds with each other, let's see if I can describe it. My mind was fuzzy but motivated. I'm not sure it really knows what it's doing, we're going for a run but is that a good idea? My body is tired and saturated with training, but here it is running along feeling as if any moment it could break down or stop. Who's driving here? The mind or the body? It felt so good to be running. It wasn't really taking much effort, and it felt so natural. The light wind on my face, the feel of my heart beating, the movement of my legs and arms, the sound of my footfalls. Oh, this is what I love about it all--it's a sort of harmony that words can't tell.

But then there's the other side of it all. There was a battle going on. At the same time, I wanted to run forever and I wanted to stop. Explain that one to me. And little aches and pains and complaints kept sounding off. My right knee was tight. My heart rate was high. My legs felt like heavy putty. Sweat was burning my eyes. I was thirsty. My stomach was upset. But it all felt so good. I didn't want to stop!

The first lap finished in good time at a 9:25 pace. The second lap felt better than the first, as if my mind and body just gave up and decided to go along with the idea. We finished that in a 9:33 pace. Towards the end of the second lap, I was actually considering a few more miles?!?!? Was I nuts?

While waiting for LC to ready for her last 2 miles, I debated joining her. This was going to be my last long run before IMWI. I only wanted 15-18 miles, that's not so hard and the weather is gorgeous and I have time before work today. All these parameters are in my favor, but I'm not in my favor. LC was telling me that I need to take the taper SERIOUSLY, and she threatened to run faster and drop me if I tried to join her on this last few miles. She's right. I know it. But why can't I do it? Why do I keep fighting the urge to rest?

For the rest of the day, I was off balanced. No appetite, tired, groggy, but functional. My right knee tendons were painfully tight afterwards and I briefly iced it. Random pains would get me--right knee, triceps, hips, shoulders, neck, shins, like my body was rotating through options trying to find the one that would finally break me. I didn't each lunch until 5pm, and when I did force my self to eat I was sick the rest of the afternoon and evening. Once again, dinner was random and cruddy, but R made me a potato omelette and it was so good! Once again I had trouble falling asleep, with more random pains and muscle weaknesses still testing me.

Oh, yeah. This recovery thing isn't going that well yet. And I have to wonder if this is what post-IMWI will be like??