Not perfect but it's feeling good. Feel like I'm out of time every day

Yesterday productive, home to mail, change, dog, patio all before Moria. I had a list of chores that was mostly meal prep. So I switched dinner up to be during meal prep. Instead of addition to. I did that from 515ish to 745. Ugh. The whole evening in the kitchen for lunches and dinner. Like a day lost. No art, no workout, no relax. 

But I can't complain, LA worked until 10pm. We had phone call for an hour. I was in bed asleep, and I tried to wake up but failed. I feel like we're in a hamster wheel just trying to keep up with it, instead of making progress.

I have made progress on optimizing my commute and changing my schedule. I now come in around 715-730, work until 330-4. Out of the house 630/7 to 430/5. Instead of leaving at 830 and home around 630. Still a 10-hour day, and it wouldn't be so maddening if so much of it wasn't in a car! But I'm also trying to be quiet in the car, not a 1.5x speed audiobook or work.  

Progress! But I'd like to do art, do strength training, sit on the patio!! I have to accept that somedays I just won't be able to do that. 

Rewire and Reframe: weekend success

No running walking or anything, a travel weekend to MO. It's starting to bother me, that we don't get to "training" for the upcoming (and 2 months away as of today) 50K. We'll survive. But we'll hurt too.

Friday a PTO with some WFH, success mostly only because after 130 it was travel and I was limited and out of Moria. Then Sat Sun in AirBNB and no Moria. In fact, all great. No OF. No issues. No cheats. Enjoyed sushi in a planned meal. No chips. No snacks. 

In fact, I'm calling today my 3rd day of success here. 

Listened to book on drive back about neuroscience of habits and thinking, also reading what seems to be a better book on the same thing. 

I'm bothered too by the fact that we have 4 weekends in a row of "disruption", and I know I need to reframe that. "challenges"?
Past weekend to STL
This weekend CG travel but here
Next weekend NC for military thing
Nexted weekend to MO to help LA with kids

We need to plan our training! Can't lose 4 weekends like this, especially when the 18 miles (admittedly, HOT weather tho) the lasted weekend was more walking than running. 

Find time this coming weekend, get the bikes ready and share that with kids at Peeler?
Find a trail in NC for something new
Don't know plans for the MO weekend.... could be a rest. 

I definitely have a Moria-oriented habit loop to break. Well duh, work on it! 

66 same as 67, 65 can change

66 home to dog, mail, change, didn't want the water, laundry, then ... "I need to cook dinner" and thence moria. "Waited" until 7pm for my walk, went for the walk, came back to too much MORE watermelon, MORE phone scroll.

The pattern: I find an excuse to be in Moria, find my phone, and find myself LOST there not remembering or measuring or trying.

Today - the chores: Get outside to water plants after changing. Then you'll have to cook dinner! But you don't have to OF it. 

Success in 67, goals for 66

Yesterday home as planned to check the mail with the dog, change clothes and get a water, go to patio and brush dog - all of about 15-20 mins. Then back to bad habits. Was kinda OK until I got caught up in getting distracted by Polls and FB, went to bed OF on fruit and watermelon. Really OF, ugh.

Today the same. Come home and walk to the mailbox with the dog. Come in and change clothes and sit with a water - not walk around with it. Destress here. Then start laundry and water the plants outside. Then go from there. 

No you're not done yet. What happened yesterday? Habits in Moria. I had my phone and the urge to distract myself, and there's two ways I do it. What could I have been doing? Well I was saying that "I'm waiting to go for a walk". I was assembling my 2nd target order, while the 1st sat in a large box in my way in the kitchen. I was saying I need to wait, need to finish Target. I could have walked and did Target, although waiting for the 100F temps to drop isn't a bad idea. 

Could have traced the stained glass tomato (I did this later after the walk, barely anything done, and OF then too). Could have colored the magnolia (I did 30 mins this morning on that project). Could have written a letter to Jess (started that today instead of working on the magnolia). Could could would SHOULD. 

Instead I knowingly brought dinner in from the garage early, started eating it on the steps!

Today - finish tracing the stained glass. Main end goal: WAIT FOR LA TO HAVE A PLATED DINNER. 

Mail to a personal trainer

Haven't actually sent this, but I'm reading what I'm thinking....

Hello, 

I'm new to Nashville but not new to endurance sports. I was a long course triathlete and later an ultrarunner from 2006-2019. Injuries, pandemic, and moving twice disrupted my habits and schedules. Now I'm short on time, know all the things I need to do, but keep comparing to what I used to be - healthy, fit, strong, and confident. I'd like to get back to feeling confident and strong, blah blah 

So what is keeping you from going upstairs to do a Fit+ workout? Go for a run? Get out of Moria? Do you need to PAY SOMEONE TO TELL YOU TO DO THIS?

Failed. Start again at 67 days

WTF happened yesterday, it just seemed to fall apart. At work 740-4. Stupid commute home, not there until 5, frustrated and tired and headache. Moria with turkey "just some", then more, then I craved coconut oil, but mayo instead with a spoon. Then I thought I might as well just have some dinner, but not the chicken because of turkey, but then a bit of chicken, then I turned around and it was gone. Literally. I went to grab the tuppie, and..... where is it? Not in the fridge. In the sink. Empty. 

Multipolls surveys, to the point my eyes were tired. It was a perfect distraction in the end. A whole $0.75 or so of distraction. That's the reward. The price? 

Well since I ate everything before LA was home, all I had was half of my cocoa yogurt (ate grapes mindlessly instead) but added berries anyway, he wanted to watch the Newhart show and I agreed. And potato chips. In the bowl of the yogurt. Like a sick sweet salty chocolate disgust. Then a sparkling water. And I'm sick. Too much, too fast, too gross, too fatty, too much. I insist on my 45 mins walk, even though I already know I failed. I was debating - do I keep going past day 8 and still end on my birthday? But I stuck it out, I'm glad I did, the goal is not to end a 75 on the birthday, the goal is to change. 

On the walk I'm looking up local gyms, personal trainers. I've already tried this! (oh forgot the tsp spoonfuls of PB because I wanted fat, cry). Coach P. Noom. Loseit. Hamilton-almost. 

Why do I think committing more $$ to something will make it any different? If I can't get myself to stop eating PB and PC, why do I think I'd go to a gym with what little time I do have? 

I come home, frazzled, how can I change this? How to change the door to door to Moria? 

Not by signing up with a personal trainer. Not yet. 

1. Do a meditation in the car? A body scan? 

2. Come home to immediately walk the dog, don't even enter the house.

3. Change clothes, body scan, don't even enter the rest of the house. 
4. Have a super simple chore, stupid simple even. 

Weekend review, where am I?... 68 days? ish

Weekend!

Friday RUN WALK 7.61 miles in 1:41 (Run 55 mins) with LA to Cedar Park

Saturday RUN WALK 10.5 miles in 2:41 (run 50 mins) with LA in Warner Park

Week summary: run/walk 18.1 miles and walk 12.? miles for a total of 30 miles!

Wow! While I would like to have run more than just 5-6 miles/day it's a great start. And I feel fine, excepting back fatigue. No pains. It was HOT, the Camelbak is back, and yeah!

I woke up Saturday to 1400, but today (Monday) 1344. WTF, why do that to me? 

I stated my goal with LA that we need to be able to run 15-20 miles to make this race 'better', seriously who wants to be walking out there for 9-9.5 hours?

I feel like a runner again. 

Time over the weekend looking at capsule wardrobe ideas, then telling myself that 1250 first. Then wardrobe. Blue and tan capsule, with perks of yellow. Returned the Birkenstocks that I otherwise loved and found Cole Haans to try. 

As for meals, I'm terribly distracted and mindless, and that's where my goals are this week. No phone, no distraction. 

Second goal - strength training!!

Last week I started paying attention to meal distractions, successfully changed my schedule to come to work early (7-745am) and getting out on time.