Schedule rearrange kinda didn't work

Saturday FULL REST
Sunday RUN 8.1 in 90 mins, on a trail!!

I should have run 4 miles Saturday. That was the plan. But I overate in the morning, ate dairy too, was anxious and edgy about LA sleeping in and trying to be effective but quiet. All my chores done! Painted! All great, but the bored-anxiety-runningoutoftime feeling kicked in. 

So no run, and no strength. 

Sunday was almost the same. He'd mentioned maybe biking with me, so I waited until 10 am before prodding him awake. He really didn't wake up right away, and it wasn't until 1230 or so that we got him and his bike out the door and on the road. 

We found the B2B trail, it was muddy and snow packed in some places, rocky in others, and after 2 miles of this we diverted on to quiet roads. Hills! Trails! Rocks! I'm happy! But LA was struggling a bit, he hasn't had my benefit of training lately, and the later start time meant I needed to cut this short for ... there's a word for this and I'm blanking on it right now.... family something....oh yeah, SA - spousal approval. Is that a tag? Why yes it is. SAUs for Spousal Approval Units. 

So next weekend LA is out of town. I'm going to rest this week with only a few easy miles, then put the 12 miler into next weekend. That way, the next next weekend (in which we're out of town) also gets me SAUs for not missing the kids because I'm out on a run!

So only 28.1 miles this week, not 32. I've adjusted the schedule. And I'll still be able to run my marathon. 

Skipped a day, now looking at schedule rearrangment

Thursday SKIPPED RUN

Friday RUN 10 miles, treadmill, up to 10 m/m

Wednesday was a long flow assay at lab. Didn't get home and to bed until after 11pm, maybe even 11:30. So when morning came I was mentally wiped out. I went to my newish morning routine of painting with coffee, and still wasn't motivated. I'd already had my chores done thanks to Wednesdays effort, so I really didn't have many other excuses. Just wiped out, unmotivated, and I listened to it. Was it a reason, or an excuse?

It was cold, too. Now that's an excuse!

On a positive note, the rest of Thursday my energy was WIRED. Nothing like last week's slog of apathy, instead I was awake and thinking and active.

Same thing Friday with energy. Even after a 10 mile run (indoors because it's again cold but this time a fresh coat of 3-4" snow on ice) on the treadmill, I'm wired and awake. The run was fasted, and after I'd missed my bus again and again, I ended up eating "because my stomach would be happier". Well, it wasn't, and I regret breaking the fast early. To help, I didn't eat all the eggs I'd prepared at noon lunch with LA. 

So about rearranging my schedule. The original plan was a 6+4+8 10+4. Now I'm at 6+4 10+?+-?.

Meaning, on Saturday and Sunday I still need the 8 and the 4. It can also be a 10+2. It could even be a 12, letting me rest on Saturday.

Next week is a 10 mile rest week. Whew! I'll need it. 

A few days ago was 2s-day, or two's-day, or however you call it: 22022022, a neat palindrome of two's that happed on a Tuesday. I love the things like this, and resolved on this day with a call to CP in which I was told to "get honest" that M has to stop. And since then, he has. I won't get married with this in my head. But why wait. On Tuesday, we tried on our rings! And since then, gone.

But the weight isn't changing yet, and if anything I'm "heavy" with swollen legs and jeans that fit different and not for the better! This low-carb thing started around Jan 18, intensified 2-1 or so, so it's been 3.5 weeks of it. It takes weeks to adapt. I'm eating less than 50g total carbs per day and it blows my mind that I can run like this while eating like this. Why is the weight not coming off as it should?

Well, I gotta get honest. I gotta log the olives and the bacon and the snacks that aren't "planned". I need to reduce the added fat and focus on accurate proteins (ie, not chicken thigh so hard to quantify). I need to sit at meals and eat like an adult, not standing at the counter like a conveyor belt and surfing through foods. CHANGE!

Get Honest. And Fast.

Tuesday RUN 6 miles, outdoors!! 1:06:50 

Wednesday RUN 4 miles outdoors, 42:59 mins with 3x.5mi pickups (80s)

Out and Out! Yesterday's run was warm, 46F and pre-rain. I went south from the house and mapped out a cul de sac neighborhood. I got lost a bit and turned around, ending up twice at Waters Rd and eventually having to look at a map to find my way back. Turns out, I knew where I was I just didn't know my cardinal points. Now I do. 

Today I dropped off the car and ran back from the dealership, tacking on a half mile or so to even out to the goal of 4 miles. I did my first speedwork session!!! I had the wrist HRM, so no data there. During the pickups I did sub-9! Some 8.5 m/m. The 0.5 mile took about 4.5-4.75 mins. And cadence picked up nicely too. In the non-speed sections, I averaged about 10-11 m/m. #1, done. 

Yesterday I became interim lab manager at work. Hopefully only interim. We'll see. This caused some stress in the lab (the changing, not my change of title) as we have our system and it's mostly working for us. But I didn't get worked up about it, I managed to mostly ignore it. I'm not sure my boss knew what to think, when I just nodded and said OK when she scolded me a bit about getting stuff done. I get stuff done, just not the stuff she wants done first. 

Also yesterday my 5th regular call with Coach Patrick. I really should listen to more of the podcasts and the live calls, and get more out of this. I feel kinda isolated, but no Facebook for me. Anyway, yesterday I had to report no change in weight and the symptoms last week of depression, apathy, cold, bloating, fuzz-brain. Didn't get into the maybe-female hormone stuff of breast pain and swelling. 

In retrospect I kinda figured out that that some of that was secondary symptoms. The clumsy fuzzy feeling was from fatigue. The bloating and swelling from something I maybe ate (I tested dairy), as the bloat really started Friday after a total-depression morning, an odd tasting meal I didn't enjoy, and an afternoon run. 

Well to get to the point, CP thinks the symptoms are part of the process and probably mostly due to training, not the diet. My honest self agrees with that. He also said that we need good honest data on what I'm eating (I confessed to eating pieces of bacon and more, uncounted and unplanned). Agree. And he said that I'm not really running all that much and not really eating all that low. Agree, much to the dismay of the part of my brain that thinks I am running a lot and not eating enough. That's the famine part of the brain maybe, the comfort part, the Blerch. 

We also talked about stress and my Homework includes asking myself everyday what I can do to have less stress. My mind went to meditation (hahaha, I mistyped medication at first) but he corrected me and said walking, watching TV, or reading a book. I thought about that, and thought about how when I read it's for something (a book due at the library or a grant) and when I walk I'm doing something (Duolingo or podcast) and I when do I just do nothing? Well funny that, my dog just walked in the room.

So today, I let myself sleep in a bit before another long assay day at work. I skipped my strength session to watercolor. I'm still at home and working ahead on chores so I don't worry about them tomorrow after the long day today.

And rest, he said I need to pay attention to that. 

So Homework:

Get accurate, self integrity and honesty.

Get de-stressed, and actively find ways to reduce it.

Get rest and sleep, I've been careful with that the last few days. 

29-er. But a rough time getting there

Friday RUN 3 miles in 36 mins
Saturday full rest
Sunday RUN 10 miles, treadmill sadly

Friday I was still wiped out tired. Depressed, apathetic, flat, antagonistic, overwhelmed, clumsy, mumbly, dead-brained. I had lunch with LA, and it was so struggly to just walk there and talk. So afterwards I put out a message to my new PCP. I've put out a similar message to Dr A in 2020 - these cycles of intense fatigue and depression. See what happens. 

I got a letter last week that Dr A is retiring in April. Hope he's still racing. 

But by Friday afternoon I knew that *not* getting my 3 miles run in was making me feel worse, and in that morning I'd had the great idea of not going to the gym and instead running from work - outdoors. I wore my running clothes all day too. By 4pm, I was stir crazy and anxietied and although my gut was heavy and unhappy, I MapMyRun'd a 1.5-mile route and went for it. The long "hill" around the NE of the hospital started my gut to getting worse and by 1 mile it was a slog, and I knew I needed to find a bathroom. I didn't realize how badly I needed the bathroom until I walked to BSRB and -- well -- let's just leave it at that. I felt somewhat better, and pushed through a second loop. Then another bathroom visit. And once I was home 3 more like it!? Nauseated too, thought maybe some bad food? 

I'm glad I did the run and the second loop, mentally I needed it. I was OK with walking, I told myself that if were the race, I'd walk. 

Saturday we were both home for the first time in ...?  and he cleaned up the garage, I did house cleaning. Then errands which included a hair cut, then we sat by the fire to warm me up. 

Sunday morning I woke up from an awful dream in which I was at my parents house, and had to organize a wall of colorful crates that were empty and unneeded but there, then I was outside and a bear nosed me up into the air and I screamed and fell, then I was in the bathroom unable to go to the bathroom and then a rocket or meteoroid thing flew by the window in a billowing smoke stream, and by then I realized I wasn't going to get my 10  mile run in because it was getting dark, and I awoke totally relieved to realize --it's still Sunday morning and I could still do my run!

But the morning got busy, and I started my meal prep. Anxiety because I felt there was so much I could get done and I had this one day to do it. But moreso because I felt awful - squeezing head feeling, unfocused eyes, heavy watery gut. The fatigue was much improved, but still there. I promised to do my run at noon, then 1, then by 1:30 I was out the door. By then, we'd fixed the gray round chair, he'd cleaned up the girls' room, and he was doing a lot. I think to try to make me feel better. It did!! It was a relief, and I need to say that to him next.

The run was a slog. My gut was heavy and bloated, my energy flat. I'd eaten too much - no carbs though - but still all that fat/protein was there and my already-unhappy gut wasn't having it. I wanted to walk and walk, and drink and drink, and even eat more. I was a mess. I was tired! But I did it!!!!! There was no celebration, only in my head. 

I came home to LA in an unhappy mood because his fruit syrup spilled in the truck, he was managing his stress by eating. I make the same mistake sometimes. I M'd on the chocolate bar he had. I set up some sales on the ND site (the blue kitchen art thing I didn't like) and he was unhappy that I'd sold it. Then he was unhappy that the watercolors gift he'd ordered wasn't to my liking. He's buying me professional expensive stuff - I just need time and tutorials and practice! I can't get him to understand that more stuff is just more stuff and I don't want more stuff!!!! But I need to understand his POV as well. I'll work on it. 

Tomorrow-- rest!

So tired! My eyes droopy and puffy.

RUN 8 miles in about 1:40, includes the WU

So tired this morning, even after getting to bed last night before 9pm. We slept until 5am, I was awake for some time around 10:45 when LA came to bed. 

Awake thinking. Thinking. I remind myself of what I've heard in the Unf*ck Yourself book - that I need to be OK with Uncertainty. I'm uncertain about the future, what changes will happen, how life will no longer be "normal". 

Today's run was tired too. Before I left the house, I ate some bacon and ground beef. I think I was just weak minded and tired. Craving salt. How can I be craving salt when I seem to eat so much of it? I think I'm puffy *because* I'm eating so much salt.

But the run is done, even though the pace was 12 m/m and I wanted so badly to walk. And I did walk a little, but not as much as I wanted to. 

I ate brekkie (second brekkie) around 1130 and felt better. Still no carbs (eggs, mayo, cucumber, bacon, ground beef for brekkie) and still no change. Still looking for 120s. 

Gaining strength, Coach call #4

ELLIPTICAL 20 mins to warm up
STRENGTH 20 mins, 5th coach workout    

I started the coach strength workouts and on the first session burned myself - my lower body was like I'd run a marathon the next few days. I backed off, still only getting one session a week, and since then no real pains. Finally, today I was able to push most all exercises to higher weight or reps and although I was winded during the session I don't feel like I burned again. 

I'm still not quite to AMRAP/Failure on the sets. I'm still doing 15-20 reps as I can. There's still a bit of fear about going too far too fast and injuring something. Excuse or Reason?

Speaking of Excuses and Reasons and Self Talk and Denial.  My coach call yesterday addressed a few issues:

1. Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. I wrote this across the top of my questions and notes page, and then Patrick was wearing a shirt that says that (it's his quote)! Yikes! What's not changing? I'm still overeating after dinner, I don't leave after dinner and keep munching a bit. I stand to eat and/or hurry and look at my phone. I nom while cooking. I'm not improving my sleep and I'm so tired. I'm not working on flexibility even though I've noted a lack of it. I'm not doing my pre-hab/PT exercises. But to be fair, a LOT has changed: No fruit, <50g carb, IF, fasted workouts. But I need to close the gap on these other goals. 

His changes from last week of reduce slightly from 1300 - I haven't done that either, but I'm also running now 29 miles a week and I don't know if dropping lower is really needed. Yet. 

2. More details on that: I didn't enact his suggestion of dropping the calories, but in light of the 29 miles a week he seemed to back off a little on that. We talked about it, and his suggestion was to reduce the fat added to a recipe. He said maybe half the amount, that would be a lot! 

3. I'm running up to 8 miles at a time, but I'm running the same slow-ish pace each time. I at first blamed it on recovering from ankle surgery, then I blamed it on the transition to a low carb diet, and now I'm blaming it on just not trying to run faster! He suggested speedworkouts, and DUH like I used to do those every week! Remember running Tuesdays At The Track? I miss my Tuesdays. I'm building up my run schedule, up to 4 runs a week, and one of those needs to be speedwork oriented. Patrick said I don't need to be limiting myself to improvement on one run specificity (speed, technical, volume) and suggested I go beyond that. 

So I went to BRR's speedwork plan, and I'll start with that. 

UNFU*K YOURSELF book

RUN 8 miles treadmill

A true 8, not 8 plus WU and CD. Only 2 short walk breaks to get water or change videos. I've been watching youtube videos on decluttering and cleaning. Ahhhh....

Started an audiobook yesterday, see title. The voice is in a Scottish accent, nice, is that the real author? Checking... yes seems so. Lotsa truths in this book. I'd type more on it, but I'm not in the mood! Tired. 

I have my 4th call with Coach Patrick tonight. I'm not keeping up on my weekly goals like I did a few weeks ago, so here goes: 

Last week: RUN 26 miles as planned, 2 STRENGTH, still no fruit and under 50g carb, broke into cream cheese M, testing a little bit of dairy, mostly on track with IF

This week plan: 29 miles
Monday rest
Tuesday RUN 8 miles
Wednesday X-TRAIN and STRENGTH
Thursday RUN 8 miles
Friday RUN 3 miles and STRENGTH, travel in late afternoon
Saturday rest
Sunday 10 miles, trail? 

Next week, 32 miles running!  

Summary of last week: *=from previous week; #=failed last week
1. *All running, all good, no pains problems etc
2. No other symptoms, gut or otherwise
3. *Anxiety super low, almost flat/tired
4. Tired from back2back weekends of travel

Three body goals for the week:
1. Two strength sessions
2. #Five to ten minutes per day of flexibility
3. Run outdoors and treadmill

Three nutrition goals for the week:
1. Get meals prepped ASAP, because without I start to fail
2. Get out of the containers!
3. Limit the dairy

Three mental goals for the week:
1. preM3 anxiety almost gone
2. Drew the M, now draw the Bee
3. Get the paragraphs for each above

Special considerations for this week:
1. None? 
2. 
3. #Lack of flexibility is being noted

Talk to Coach:
1. Held to weekend travels again!
2. I'm tired and stressed
3. 133.2! Down from 135.