Monday on a Wednesday

BIKE 25 miles in 1:40, 4x TGP

SWIM 700 yards, the plan added kick sets!

I "missed" my Monday ride with LA being here and my med appoint (btw - all values normal and no culture growth, good or ugh?). Missing a workout will eat at me, why? I dunno. Just does.

I started at 630 due to the later mornings and pulled out my light gloves. In the end, I probably didn't need it, but I've been wearing long sleeves and jackets lately. Summer is over. 

The ride felt great, I like the new seat, and I'm waiting to see if the lady-bit sore spots fix up and I get back to normal. 

The swim was in the afternoon, I'm finding that the need to schedule 48 hours in advance is the best motivator. I get to sign up when my intentions and maximum, and I go to the swim because I feel obligated. I'm still using the Speedo Swim to 1000K beginner plan. In review it seems way too easy, only 600-800 yards so far, but it's working because it lets me build frequency without volume. And my swimming form is still pretty weak. A longer swim won't help me at all. 

No commute today, in order to get to the swim on the way home. 

The clouds keep it straight, but I can't?

Monday SWIM! 800 yards

Tuesday RUN 4.5-ish miles on the track, and COMMUTE 14 miles

Monday's schedule was changed up  by LA leaving and my Dr Steele appt at SLU. This appt had me way more stressed out than it should, but I didn't realize this until afterwards. The idea of being infected, again, I feel just gross. And unable to prevent this from happening, over and over, again. Yuck.

So no ride, we were kinda rained out anyway by overnight rains, but I'd still hoped I could ride in the afternoon. Nope, I was on a waitlist for a lane at the pool and after multiple "Hey a lane is open, first come first serve, good luck!" emails I managed to score a lane. 

Unremarkable swim, followed my plan added on a 50 because I don't like the uneven number of the plan.

Went home to a M sick tummy, my streak is broken and this was a WTH night. Ugh. 

Tuesday - 6am at the track, woke up after poor and short sleep but ready to go. I had some awful nausea after drinking my green tea (drank the cup too fast? I get this on a early morning stomach sometimes) and didn't get my appetite back until after the run and a shower. 

The run kinda unremarkable. BE and I kept it simple and jogged, added in a few drills, and both of us noticed the long straight line of a cloud over the downtown sunrise. All along the horizon, parallel to and so damned straight. How does it stay so straight?! Why doesn't the wind blow it around? 

By the end of the run, the cloud have moved east and shrunk in size, but it was still straight. The clouds can keep a straight line, but I can't?! 

Whispering Hills makes it a 3-swim week

 SWIM 1000 yards

Thanks to BE who reminded me that the WH pool was available and now open! For the first time in months, I'm here in STL with free time on a Sunday morning. LA was with his family, I had a half day at work, and this filled in my missed Friday swim.

I kept it simple, just swim. Play with the Garmin. Got sloppy around 800 yards, but pushed for 1000.

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M was back with rice and PB. Saturday I was terrible sick from it, today not much. Mental!

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NUMERICS 6:10 hours

SWIM 2800 yards!!!!

BIKE 20.1 miles (missed Weds and Friday due to being sick)

RUN 20 miles!!!

COMMUTE 27.6

10 mile run with new garmin

 RUN 10 miles! Time is irrelevant really, but about 1:50 mins

YAY! Was this a good idea, let's think about it. 

My new Garmin watch just MOVE!'d me. Ugh. 

Yesterday I didn't get my bike or swim in, I cancelled both. My gut was in full pain, like it was years ago where all I could do was lie down somewhere and just not move. I cancelled with swim a few minutes ahead of the start time, and the app asked me why I was cancelling. I selected "work" because I didn't see gut distress in the list. 

So now because of the gut, I've missed my Wednesday bike, Friday bike, and Friday swim. Not happy with that. Weds, Thurs, and Friday lost to this problem again. Looking at what's different.  

HAM- I've eaten it before, I don't like it, but it's processed and M'y. OATS - I've been eating steel cut oats most of September, I love them, they're not Gluten-Free labeled, super M'y though. That's all that's new....PB2 - eaten it before, no issues, super M'y. FATS - this could be gall bladder again. STRESS - lots of that, and really I think the gut and the stress are just a positive feedback loop of synergysticness. I get stressed then my gut locks up a bit, then I get stressed about that, then  my gut responds to that, then stress, then gut. 

Quick overview -- I eat brekkie around 8-10am, then 3-4 hours later a focal, but dull pain on the right side under my ribs. It's a constant pain, not throbbing or stabbing, sometimes motion makes it worse but it never goes away with different positions. Pressure definitely makes it worse. Sometimes radiates to my back. Nausea and a feeling of pressure in my throat, like I'm too full. It fades away after 3-4 hours of pain, with no apparent reason or outcome, like diarrhea or constipation or gas. What goes through my head, like, what's my impression as it happens? Gall bladder. Liver. Colon. Not small intestine. Not 'female part's. Not kidneys. 

The new stress is coming home to LA and having him see me sick, he doesn't like it, he thinks something is wrong, and how do I explain this? Nothing's wrong, no hospital or doctor needed, but he has to put up with my low mood and short tolerances. This is the first time he sees this. 

I gotta make changes. Again. Gotta figure this out. Because I can't do this again.

Anyway, now to my run. I avoided all fats and just ate potato and fruit, saw LA off to a visit with his kids, walked the doggie, and left for a sunny, light winds, perfect temps run -- with my new watch and NO PHONE. Wow, 2 hours with no text or brick to carry. NICE. Although I'm not sure I had the HR monitor and GPS dialed in right. Still learning. 

My goals were -- finish, take rests, and no in-run fuel. I wandered the neighborhoods, Compton Heights to Water Tower Park to MoBot to TGP. It started off great, but became more of a slog by mile 7. I didn't want to quit, but my body wasn't as on-board with this as my mind was. That's usually how I get into trouble with injuries.

Either way, it's finished. My right foot needs a new orthotic. My right buttock at the crease has a niggle still, like a really tired muscle not doing good. I keep thinking I need to start strength training, just do it!

Afterwards -- thirsty and a bit dazed, but no pains or sufferings, just like a long run should be. Ugh, I just called this a "long run". 

Same distance next week, then decide on H100?

Two garmins

COMMUTE
SWIM?
BIKE? 

WHOA is the line spacing issue fixed?!?!?!? 

Our Garmins arrived today -- I ordered them 24 hours ago! WHOA! I started to set mine up, but decided to wait and do it together. I just set mine up enough to swim and run tonight and this weekend. 

I had to delete Garmin Express from my work computer, not sure why, but it won't re-install now. Ugh. Is it a work computer thing?

It's the 3rd day in a row now up right upper quadrant gut pain a few hours after eating, kinda radiates to my back. Fades out after 2-3 hours of pain. Ignore it. But what causes it? Stress? Oats? Nothing? 

I didn't do a bike ride on the way in because I was so nauseated and burping up my late breakfast. I probably won't have time to ride today, maybe tomorrow. 

The swim is schedule to start in 90 minutes. It's my 3rd swim this week! So keep it simple and injury free. Hope it settles my gut out. 

But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow.

 Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out all the clearer.

RUN 6.5 miles in ??

SWIM ETA: 1000 yards!! 4x: 100, 75, 50, 25choice. Squeaked the last lap in as pool closed. 

This Tolkien quote was in my daily puzzler this morning. It was a quick solve, I recognized it right away.

Yesterday was a load of stress for me. I woke up after sleeping in (stress, "nothing is done"), left late for work and walked into a mini lab meeting, sat there feeling like in a vise while boss and coworker talked about how we're 'finally positioned to do some real science and answer the big questions' the boss has been asking all his career. 

Then I had to leave early, for feeling sick and guilty, nauseated and RUQ pained. Packed up the bikes and drove out to SBR for the new saddle installations. Then a meeting with my new realtor. So a lot got done and answered, but the day was long and took a toll on me.

Today, I woke up to run. Fielded the stupid phone call from the bank about investments review, got to work, ordered garmin, called dr office about UTI-ish symptoms, now I'm helping coworker with his assay. And obviously not working all that hard, because here I sit typing away in my thought dump site. 

I'm putting some time into my bullet journal. Setting some goals. Not really work. Just trying to distract myself.

Yesterday's stress response has LA worried, he's seeing this for the first time. How do I explain to him, what he thinks is "easy", for me is pulling the rug out from under me and flipping my life over. Everything will change. I don't do well with change, I like the Order, not the Chaos. I like knowing what to expect, I like the lines on the road, I like the rules of the game being followed. New job, new house, new city, new life. All at once. 

I guess I did all that and more in 2003. But since then my confidence was stripped away and replaced with doubt. Accusations of "controlling and selfish", am I? Accusations of "unwilling to improve", improve to what? Accusations of "not good enough", "not pretty enough", "not smart" enough, not enough for whom? 

This stress is uncovering the fact that I haven't recovered from those stinging accusations. That I wasn't enough for someone else's standards of "enough". 

This bumps up against a common debate with LA, when I tell him that he can't expect that other people will act in accordance with his standards of "enough". In the back of my mind, I'm like, here I go again...measured by another person's standard of "enough". His standards are way more harsh, how will I measure up to that? 

Since those accusations years ago, I completely reeled in my own expectations, removing them from review by others. It became no one else's business, so to speak. I kinda quit trying, if I'm not good enough already then why bother. 

Ugh. This goes no where. Like LA also says, focus on what's actionable. This above? Not actionable. Go for a run or something. Get to work. Swim later. But stop thinking. 

Invested in new ISM Saddles and a Garmin

 COMMUTE 9.2 miles

When I started this blog 11 years ago, one of my metrics was to track the amount of monies I was spending on this sport. I soon quit, it became too confusing and cumbersome and meaningless. 

But when I drop major monies again I come back to that metric -- how much this all costs. The last few years, the cost was mostly in medical bills.

Wednesday I took all three bikes to SBR for installation of the new ISM Road 3 saddles. Oof, $660 I think, and that's after the discount. It felt like an awkward normal to be in the bike shop again. All the stuff I knew is not old technology. Di2, aerodynamics, etc. I'll stick to my old bikes, which where embarrassingly dusty and in need of cleaning. In the case of Frea, in need of new bar tape. Add that to my to do list, ugh. Poor Frea hasn't even been out yet this year. 

Then on Thursday I purchased my new Garmin, and along with it a matching one for LA! $300 each. I'm excited for it! Which is really only funny if you read my post from few days ago when I poo-poo'd getting another garmin because it cost so much. Necessity is not only the mother of invention, I guess. 

On the flip side, I've decided against running the Blue Moon Run at CCP ($40) and against the MO Cowbell ($80) (both would be plus tax, fees, etc) as a money-saving move. I can run those for free!