COMMUTE 2 miles
last night STRENGTH 45 mins or so of the Core Syn DVD
I'm still pretty weak on the core syn. I'm skipping the exercises that hit my lower back too hard, or rely on jumping on the hip. Are lunges OK on the hip? I'm trying to be careful.
Bizzy Bee today - 44 plates of titering, mouse transfer and tamoxifen, fix 35 plates of titering, KA got lots of PCR done....and I'm done here I need to get home!
Full moon so pretty last night. M still gone. But keeps knocking and peeping in the windows.
Monday, October 14, 2019
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Bizzy as a Bee, love it and don't love it
BIKE COMMUTE all days, just the two miles
Long days at work, I'm happy with that. Lots of mouse work, titering, etc, and that's what I love. But I'm not home with Sugar, not getting stuff done at the house, and lost some focus.
Not much else to day, just little things.
Was in lab 515am Friday to start a time course, I came home around 8am (when free parking ended) to tend and walk the dog. I found a monarch on my little deck table, on the pot that I let chrysalis butterflies eclose on! I don't think he's one of mine? But funny how he ended up where most of mine hatch. It was chilly out and he looked weak, so I brought him inside. Build up a little towel nest under the cabinets. As of Saturday, he still couldn't fly but I didn't get home until 430pm so that wasn't much time outside. As of Sunday (today) it's warm out but I'm at lab again, when I get home I'll put him out for another chance. A few more warm days this week for him. Today I did put a sugar-solutioned scrubbie in a bowl, he did drink on that but soon enough back up hanging on a towel.
Found a big fat caterpillar Saturday! So I have 2 chrysalis and 2 cats in the house. Ooooh it's gonna be cold for them.
Last night was craving ginger again and I was dehydrated from being in the mouse house so much. Off to Walmart for ginger ale, and a few other 2L that I don't want to be drinking. I drank the entire ginger ale here at lab in just 3 hours!? What's this crave? The ginger? Or the sweet? Or the fizzy?
Eating too much butternut and it has my gut a bit sore. Bloated and heavy. But dad's butternut only comes once a year. But I don't have to eat so much at once, 200-300g is normal for other people but not me.
Used up my protein powder last night, in a M, all gone and no more.
Driving home from Walmart last night I was feeling down, SO just ran a harvest moon race, LA leaving for Michigan trip, haven't heard much at all from training friends. Feeling down and alone. Then Tool comes on the radio, I text SO to tell him (I knew he might be driving) and a few secs later he calls to tell me. Haha, that made me feel better. That we both listened to the song together.
I'm one week into my "One year to H100" and already fell back into M habit. "but it's less" I think. And I think I need to rename the blerch into Belerian. Better fit.
"Recovery" is going still. No more bone pain like earlier this week. But I'm going nuts. Everyone else enjoying the fall weather, crisp and cool, yet so out of reach. And no biking yet either. Ugh.
Long days at work, I'm happy with that. Lots of mouse work, titering, etc, and that's what I love. But I'm not home with Sugar, not getting stuff done at the house, and lost some focus.
Not much else to day, just little things.
Was in lab 515am Friday to start a time course, I came home around 8am (when free parking ended) to tend and walk the dog. I found a monarch on my little deck table, on the pot that I let chrysalis butterflies eclose on! I don't think he's one of mine? But funny how he ended up where most of mine hatch. It was chilly out and he looked weak, so I brought him inside. Build up a little towel nest under the cabinets. As of Saturday, he still couldn't fly but I didn't get home until 430pm so that wasn't much time outside. As of Sunday (today) it's warm out but I'm at lab again, when I get home I'll put him out for another chance. A few more warm days this week for him. Today I did put a sugar-solutioned scrubbie in a bowl, he did drink on that but soon enough back up hanging on a towel.
Found a big fat caterpillar Saturday! So I have 2 chrysalis and 2 cats in the house. Ooooh it's gonna be cold for them.
Last night was craving ginger again and I was dehydrated from being in the mouse house so much. Off to Walmart for ginger ale, and a few other 2L that I don't want to be drinking. I drank the entire ginger ale here at lab in just 3 hours!? What's this crave? The ginger? Or the sweet? Or the fizzy?
Eating too much butternut and it has my gut a bit sore. Bloated and heavy. But dad's butternut only comes once a year. But I don't have to eat so much at once, 200-300g is normal for other people but not me.
Used up my protein powder last night, in a M, all gone and no more.
Driving home from Walmart last night I was feeling down, SO just ran a harvest moon race, LA leaving for Michigan trip, haven't heard much at all from training friends. Feeling down and alone. Then Tool comes on the radio, I text SO to tell him (I knew he might be driving) and a few secs later he calls to tell me. Haha, that made me feel better. That we both listened to the song together.
I'm one week into my "One year to H100" and already fell back into M habit. "but it's less" I think. And I think I need to rename the blerch into Belerian. Better fit.
"Recovery" is going still. No more bone pain like earlier this week. But I'm going nuts. Everyone else enjoying the fall weather, crisp and cool, yet so out of reach. And no biking yet either. Ugh.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
"I can see how it's frustrating"
COMMUTE 2 miles
STRENGTH 40-45 mins of Core Synergistics
Overnight I noted that the pubic bone ached. Just a little. Just enough to notice. And all the muscles and soft tissues around the right hip hurt. So I put in a call to Dr L (first time I've ever done this) to ask if this is OK, I kinda got the "it needs time and unloading" that I expected and felt stupid for asking. But if he's not worried then I'm not worried. I'm just in a mode of making sure I heal ASAP and trying to take control of this.
Control. Ugh. Whatever.
I did the Core Syn for my workout today, skipping anything that loaded the hip. I was terribly weak and clumsy on most of it. Hope that improves.
Last night I was skimming through the 2016 blog book and found an early entry about how my energy levels were off, didn't feel right, and GOD DAMN I still feel that way. WTF?! So that also kinda led to me calling Dr L too, that I need to be on top of this and not be such a pansy ass about asking.
Then lunch with TV. I told him about the reference yesterday to a Dr for the bioresonance scan. He agreed (as did most of the internet) that it's bull shit. There's something to it, probably just that you believe you're healing? I told him I'm going back to my old diet, eating beef and giving up dairy. I told him my doctors aren't going to like it, but too bad because I fired a bunch of them. And I just wish I knew what to do. His reply was the post title. Great answer, btw, one reason I love him.
Regarding the 4-5 options from yesterday, he said Occam's razor, and the simplest is a nutrition deficiency that weakened the bones. Whether it's ongoing or past is unknown.
I agree with that, but what do I do about it?
And my hip still hurts, to walk after sitting for a bit of time. I'm trying to not limp, like I see so many other people walking around limping.
And after my egg and carrot and mustard lunch my mouth burned like I'd eaten sandpaper or chewed on rocks? I though my carrots were a bit undercooked, is that it? Or an allergy to something? GOD DAMN IT.
STRENGTH 40-45 mins of Core Synergistics
Overnight I noted that the pubic bone ached. Just a little. Just enough to notice. And all the muscles and soft tissues around the right hip hurt. So I put in a call to Dr L (first time I've ever done this) to ask if this is OK, I kinda got the "it needs time and unloading" that I expected and felt stupid for asking. But if he's not worried then I'm not worried. I'm just in a mode of making sure I heal ASAP and trying to take control of this.
Control. Ugh. Whatever.
I did the Core Syn for my workout today, skipping anything that loaded the hip. I was terribly weak and clumsy on most of it. Hope that improves.
Last night I was skimming through the 2016 blog book and found an early entry about how my energy levels were off, didn't feel right, and GOD DAMN I still feel that way. WTF?! So that also kinda led to me calling Dr L too, that I need to be on top of this and not be such a pansy ass about asking.
Then lunch with TV. I told him about the reference yesterday to a Dr for the bioresonance scan. He agreed (as did most of the internet) that it's bull shit. There's something to it, probably just that you believe you're healing? I told him I'm going back to my old diet, eating beef and giving up dairy. I told him my doctors aren't going to like it, but too bad because I fired a bunch of them. And I just wish I knew what to do. His reply was the post title. Great answer, btw, one reason I love him.
Regarding the 4-5 options from yesterday, he said Occam's razor, and the simplest is a nutrition deficiency that weakened the bones. Whether it's ongoing or past is unknown.
I agree with that, but what do I do about it?
And my hip still hurts, to walk after sitting for a bit of time. I'm trying to not limp, like I see so many other people walking around limping.
And after my egg and carrot and mustard lunch my mouth burned like I'd eaten sandpaper or chewed on rocks? I though my carrots were a bit undercooked, is that it? Or an allergy to something? GOD DAMN IT.
I've decided that when I die...
...I want someone to yell "Runner going out!" like they did at the Hennepin aid station.
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Dr L and the 4 or 5 things
COMMUTE 3.5 miles
Yes I want every damned mile I can get.
Appt with Dr L today and I had a list of things to ask about, including when I can add in any activity, why is my right arm and hand prone to tingling lately, what's going on in my upper back/lower neck with I pull my shoulders back, and why it is so pained and tight to walk after sitting. Naturally I didn't address much of this, not wanting to sound like a problem child complainer pansy ass.
The sitting to standing and walking -- he measured my right hip flexor with the lunge. Pre treat was 10 inches, post treatment 13 inches and feeling much better. Now we'll see if I limp so much? He worked on the illiapsoas (?) which is lower abdomen above the pelvic bones. He said this was "bad" and a "grade 2.5". He also said to this asst that he can dig into me, that I don't fight back, and I can take the pain. Oh, the challenge. Is this location where I felt the pull in the lower abdomen a few months ago? Mayhaps.
Then my lower back, the usual schtuffs. While that was being measured, I asked if I can add back any activities, he said not until there's no pain. Kinda under my breath (I was in cat-stretch) I said "....killing me". Now I honestly don't know if I said "you're" or "this is" or "it's" ahead of that. Different meanings. I sure didn't mean to imply this is his fault, but I think in my brain it's "them" that limits me, and I'm having a real mental issue with that lately.
Themses always telling me what to do. What to eat, what not to eat. What meds to take. What exercise limits I have. Etc. Etc. Etc. Problem child complainer pansy ass whino.
This launched into a discussion from him, and as always I wished I could have recorded it. Essentially, 4-5 reasons this happened. He repeated again that this bone shouldn't have broken, the broke-the-hammer-not-the-nail statement, that another bone should have broken first maybe. Anyway.
1. Nutritional deficiency due to malabsorption
2. Bone weakness due to previous malabsorption (ie 2013-2015 issues)
3. Muscle weakness, led to joint impact
4. Overtraining and thus overloading the body
5. Something else entirely.
All good reasons. I mentioned that some docs think I'm an undiagnosed celiac. Note that I don't say that I think I'm an undiagnosed celiac. Themses do, not me. (denial?). He then mentioned a Dr he and his wife have seen, and the successful treatments for her scleroderma and his eczema. This Dr uses "frequencies to treat infections, to keep the viruses from moving around", and found Lyme and HMCV in Dr L. Said he didn't believe in the treatments at first, debated and doubted, but once he followed the protocol (naturopathic) it worked. Some research online shows its called bioresonance, measurements of the galvanic skin response.
Huh. The scientist in me sees this a few ways. I'd like to see this treatment to call bunko on it. I'd like to see what the evidence is. I'd like to see what I get from it, just to poke holes.
The sick problem child whiny maggot pansy ass in me just wants to know what the hell is going on.
Fuck all this shit.
But in the meantime I'm looking at my options. I treat me? Find a specialist? Find a functional medicine person? Go get bioresonance scanned? Haha.
Yes I want every damned mile I can get.
Appt with Dr L today and I had a list of things to ask about, including when I can add in any activity, why is my right arm and hand prone to tingling lately, what's going on in my upper back/lower neck with I pull my shoulders back, and why it is so pained and tight to walk after sitting. Naturally I didn't address much of this, not wanting to sound like a problem child complainer pansy ass.
The sitting to standing and walking -- he measured my right hip flexor with the lunge. Pre treat was 10 inches, post treatment 13 inches and feeling much better. Now we'll see if I limp so much? He worked on the illiapsoas (?) which is lower abdomen above the pelvic bones. He said this was "bad" and a "grade 2.5". He also said to this asst that he can dig into me, that I don't fight back, and I can take the pain. Oh, the challenge. Is this location where I felt the pull in the lower abdomen a few months ago? Mayhaps.
Then my lower back, the usual schtuffs. While that was being measured, I asked if I can add back any activities, he said not until there's no pain. Kinda under my breath (I was in cat-stretch) I said "....killing me". Now I honestly don't know if I said "you're" or "this is" or "it's" ahead of that. Different meanings. I sure didn't mean to imply this is his fault, but I think in my brain it's "them" that limits me, and I'm having a real mental issue with that lately.
Themses always telling me what to do. What to eat, what not to eat. What meds to take. What exercise limits I have. Etc. Etc. Etc. Problem child complainer pansy ass whino.
This launched into a discussion from him, and as always I wished I could have recorded it. Essentially, 4-5 reasons this happened. He repeated again that this bone shouldn't have broken, the broke-the-hammer-not-the-nail statement, that another bone should have broken first maybe. Anyway.
1. Nutritional deficiency due to malabsorption
2. Bone weakness due to previous malabsorption (ie 2013-2015 issues)
3. Muscle weakness, led to joint impact
4. Overtraining and thus overloading the body
5. Something else entirely.
All good reasons. I mentioned that some docs think I'm an undiagnosed celiac. Note that I don't say that I think I'm an undiagnosed celiac. Themses do, not me. (denial?). He then mentioned a Dr he and his wife have seen, and the successful treatments for her scleroderma and his eczema. This Dr uses "frequencies to treat infections, to keep the viruses from moving around", and found Lyme and HMCV in Dr L. Said he didn't believe in the treatments at first, debated and doubted, but once he followed the protocol (naturopathic) it worked. Some research online shows its called bioresonance, measurements of the galvanic skin response.
Huh. The scientist in me sees this a few ways. I'd like to see this treatment to call bunko on it. I'd like to see what the evidence is. I'd like to see what I get from it, just to poke holes.
The sick problem child whiny maggot pansy ass in me just wants to know what the hell is going on.
Fuck all this shit.
But in the meantime I'm looking at my options. I treat me? Find a specialist? Find a functional medicine person? Go get bioresonance scanned? Haha.
Monday, October 7, 2019
Hennepin Hundred weekend summary
COMMUTE weekdays 2 miles
STRENGTH last week the 'legs day', a 30' shoulders/arms, and a 50' bike intervals/absX
Go me, three strength workouts last week! A week later I still feel the tight pull of the legs day in my quads.
I was planning to leave for home on Weds afternoon, but due to mouse work and other stuff I didn't leave until Friday morning. Happily I was able to get my work done, and happily I got about 1-2 hours at home visiting before I left for Colona.
I stayed at a cheap-o hotel and met a 100 runner in the lobby who through a mistake of some sort for the hotel lost his room booking. I almost gave him mine, but I didn't want to complicate things. Also the hotel was near a walmart, which sadly led to a $5 M session. Ugh. Watched part of an old black&white Godzilla movie before bed. TV is terrible, no wonder I don't watch it.
Up early to volunteer, met a runner Chris from Bolingbrook area, he's also injured (tweaked his back) and was volunteering for deferment, like me. I stayed in the school parking lot to redirect drivers to the bus pick up site. Chris and I briefly talked about how injury changed us physically and mentally. Good to know I'm not alone in how I feel.
Back to hotel, tried to sleep but ended up watching more shitty television. Hotel breakfast was lame biscuits and gravy, dry cereal, waffles, and these over sugared yogurts. I tried the yogurt and the truck smelled like it for hours. I should have stayed longer at the hotel to rest, but I checked out at 9am and found a Target store, thinking I could find a bday present for Jess. Then to a Fresh Thyme where I did find a gift, some salad bar for supper, some ginger and some new-to-me mochi. M'd some right away in the truck, again, ugh, and so much for supper. Rested, drove to a Walmart again to kill time. Found gifts for K&J, cottage cheese, protein powder and since it was raining like crazy I just hung there to wait it out. In the truck, M, and LA called for a chat. Then I napped in the truck until 5pm, drove to volunteer site at mile 88.
Came into a still setting up but well-rolling aid station, the Primos Running Club for my 6pm to 1am shift. I scouted out the caption, Lou, and he put me to building a fire. Then to making coffee, where I connected with a few others. Then I got to making pancakes (off all the people to make pancakes, and no they were not gluten free as promised). Soon enough the 50K started coming through. It was dark, some rolling great and others struggling, especially as the night wore on. Then the 100 milers, I missed the first ones making pancakes, but got to see them more once that was done.
I loved playing catch! As a runner comes in, cheer and pull them up to see what they need. I could go on for pages with all the stories, pages upon pages, almost like a race report. The few I like to remember: the woman who came in 1am or so who slept a bit near the heaters then coated her blistered feet in anti-chafing, who couldn't stand up without Lou and me supporting her, how she cussed while put anti-chafing on the lady bits, but then TOOK OFF TO FINISH. The 50K racer with her cousin who dealt with her blisters after being out there for hours, yet she LEFT TO FINISH. The woman who came in after not eating for hours, collapsed on a picnic table, we fed her pancakes and sugars, she got a back massage, took some time, and soon enough LEFT TO FINISH. The tired and angry runner who came in with a few others (some were pacers, at least), and her pacers started dancing to Getting Jiggy With It and I could tell she wanted to just smack them, and I told her about LA in my 100K how I wanted to smack him but couldn't catch him to do it.
Also the guy who was pissed off that his runner couldn't drop at the previous aid station, he wanted his runner to drop and asked us how, I made the mistake of saying "he can't drop" or something along those lines and he got pissed. I realize what I said was wrong, realized it right away. He came around the picnic table at me doing the yelling with the finger jabbing. A volunteer stepped between us, Lou got involved, and wow what a temper - to be yelling at volunteers. But wow - my response and attitude to a drop. Reference Farmdale 2016. I dropped at mile 80-something and to this day wonder what happened and how it could have been different if there was more push to go back out. No regrets, I just wonder.
Well anyway, the volunteer shift was going so great, we had a group with initiative and true desire to help the runners, so I stayed until sunrise. I could have stayed longer, but I wanted time with my family. After many hugs I left. And yes, I love you too Lou because being with your group brought me back to focus on why I love this, why I come back, why I want to challenge myself, and why I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHIT.
My laser now refocused. My goals for 2020 becoming hardened. My plans to get healthy, to heal, to do it right -- coalescing. I've laid out some diet changes (back towards SCD), canceled some medical appointments that don't follow my course, and have an ambitious plan for personal training to build functional strength before I get back to running.
-----
Otherwise, on my feet for so long yet no hip pain. I'm noticing that I'm very tight in the hips after sitting. And on the drive down to STL today and for hours after (even now) my right arm/hand is tingling. I see Dr L tomorrow, and oooooh the questions I have.
STRENGTH last week the 'legs day', a 30' shoulders/arms, and a 50' bike intervals/absX
Go me, three strength workouts last week! A week later I still feel the tight pull of the legs day in my quads.
I was planning to leave for home on Weds afternoon, but due to mouse work and other stuff I didn't leave until Friday morning. Happily I was able to get my work done, and happily I got about 1-2 hours at home visiting before I left for Colona.
I stayed at a cheap-o hotel and met a 100 runner in the lobby who through a mistake of some sort for the hotel lost his room booking. I almost gave him mine, but I didn't want to complicate things. Also the hotel was near a walmart, which sadly led to a $5 M session. Ugh. Watched part of an old black&white Godzilla movie before bed. TV is terrible, no wonder I don't watch it.
Up early to volunteer, met a runner Chris from Bolingbrook area, he's also injured (tweaked his back) and was volunteering for deferment, like me. I stayed in the school parking lot to redirect drivers to the bus pick up site. Chris and I briefly talked about how injury changed us physically and mentally. Good to know I'm not alone in how I feel.
Back to hotel, tried to sleep but ended up watching more shitty television. Hotel breakfast was lame biscuits and gravy, dry cereal, waffles, and these over sugared yogurts. I tried the yogurt and the truck smelled like it for hours. I should have stayed longer at the hotel to rest, but I checked out at 9am and found a Target store, thinking I could find a bday present for Jess. Then to a Fresh Thyme where I did find a gift, some salad bar for supper, some ginger and some new-to-me mochi. M'd some right away in the truck, again, ugh, and so much for supper. Rested, drove to a Walmart again to kill time. Found gifts for K&J, cottage cheese, protein powder and since it was raining like crazy I just hung there to wait it out. In the truck, M, and LA called for a chat. Then I napped in the truck until 5pm, drove to volunteer site at mile 88.
Came into a still setting up but well-rolling aid station, the Primos Running Club for my 6pm to 1am shift. I scouted out the caption, Lou, and he put me to building a fire. Then to making coffee, where I connected with a few others. Then I got to making pancakes (off all the people to make pancakes, and no they were not gluten free as promised). Soon enough the 50K started coming through. It was dark, some rolling great and others struggling, especially as the night wore on. Then the 100 milers, I missed the first ones making pancakes, but got to see them more once that was done.
I loved playing catch! As a runner comes in, cheer and pull them up to see what they need. I could go on for pages with all the stories, pages upon pages, almost like a race report. The few I like to remember: the woman who came in 1am or so who slept a bit near the heaters then coated her blistered feet in anti-chafing, who couldn't stand up without Lou and me supporting her, how she cussed while put anti-chafing on the lady bits, but then TOOK OFF TO FINISH. The 50K racer with her cousin who dealt with her blisters after being out there for hours, yet she LEFT TO FINISH. The woman who came in after not eating for hours, collapsed on a picnic table, we fed her pancakes and sugars, she got a back massage, took some time, and soon enough LEFT TO FINISH. The tired and angry runner who came in with a few others (some were pacers, at least), and her pacers started dancing to Getting Jiggy With It and I could tell she wanted to just smack them, and I told her about LA in my 100K how I wanted to smack him but couldn't catch him to do it.
Also the guy who was pissed off that his runner couldn't drop at the previous aid station, he wanted his runner to drop and asked us how, I made the mistake of saying "he can't drop" or something along those lines and he got pissed. I realize what I said was wrong, realized it right away. He came around the picnic table at me doing the yelling with the finger jabbing. A volunteer stepped between us, Lou got involved, and wow what a temper - to be yelling at volunteers. But wow - my response and attitude to a drop. Reference Farmdale 2016. I dropped at mile 80-something and to this day wonder what happened and how it could have been different if there was more push to go back out. No regrets, I just wonder.
Well anyway, the volunteer shift was going so great, we had a group with initiative and true desire to help the runners, so I stayed until sunrise. I could have stayed longer, but I wanted time with my family. After many hugs I left. And yes, I love you too Lou because being with your group brought me back to focus on why I love this, why I come back, why I want to challenge myself, and why I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHIT.
My laser now refocused. My goals for 2020 becoming hardened. My plans to get healthy, to heal, to do it right -- coalescing. I've laid out some diet changes (back towards SCD), canceled some medical appointments that don't follow my course, and have an ambitious plan for personal training to build functional strength before I get back to running.
-----
Otherwise, on my feet for so long yet no hip pain. I'm noticing that I'm very tight in the hips after sitting. And on the drive down to STL today and for hours after (even now) my right arm/hand is tingling. I see Dr L tomorrow, and oooooh the questions I have.
Tuesday, October 1, 2019
It's October! I've opted out of news and carbs
COMMUTE 2 miles
And I got sushi for lunch! It's nice n 90-some odd degrees outside and after a rush this-this-this morning of setting up genotyping PCRs and tamoxifen and eye swabs this was a needed break. Although it sets me up for not getting done on time today. I'll take the sushi and stay late!
As usual cutting down trees, and a pen drawing of the binary neurons in his head got me laughing so hard I thought I could be sick. And now a few hours later my chest hurts, my neck hurts, my head hurts. No wonder I can't sleep, with this shit going on in the background. I know Dr S said to try the nitroglycerin as a test - is it the heart or not - but I feel like taking the meds is a step towards conceding the fight to heart disease and drug dependency. What?
I thought for sure my legs would be burned and DOMS today, but only a little bit. The hip injury doesn't hurt much either, so I'm encouraged by all this. But still, I don't think that's the gym for me. Expensive. Three times a week only. I already pay for YMCA. And after he told me yesterday "that's the best numbers I've seen for a female squat" it kinda took the fuel out of the tank. No surprise, I want some competition! And I'm not going to find it here.
Which means I have to find a way to "break up" and give his key fob back.
Day 2 of Opt Out and no M. All good.
And I'm going back to low carb -- looking at recipes and thinking back to what I used to eat. I've already ditched rice and potatoes (sushi excluded, I left most of the rice behind but ate some) in the past few weeks so now the biggest questions are along the lines of what to do about dairy. Good or bad for me? And I've developed a crazy soda craving habit for ginger ale. I can drink 2L/day!
And my chest still hurts. Ugh.
And I got sushi for lunch! It's nice n 90-some odd degrees outside and after a rush this-this-this morning of setting up genotyping PCRs and tamoxifen and eye swabs this was a needed break. Although it sets me up for not getting done on time today. I'll take the sushi and stay late!
As usual cutting down trees, and a pen drawing of the binary neurons in his head got me laughing so hard I thought I could be sick. And now a few hours later my chest hurts, my neck hurts, my head hurts. No wonder I can't sleep, with this shit going on in the background. I know Dr S said to try the nitroglycerin as a test - is it the heart or not - but I feel like taking the meds is a step towards conceding the fight to heart disease and drug dependency. What?
I thought for sure my legs would be burned and DOMS today, but only a little bit. The hip injury doesn't hurt much either, so I'm encouraged by all this. But still, I don't think that's the gym for me. Expensive. Three times a week only. I already pay for YMCA. And after he told me yesterday "that's the best numbers I've seen for a female squat" it kinda took the fuel out of the tank. No surprise, I want some competition! And I'm not going to find it here.
Which means I have to find a way to "break up" and give his key fob back.
Day 2 of Opt Out and no M. All good.
And I'm going back to low carb -- looking at recipes and thinking back to what I used to eat. I've already ditched rice and potatoes (sushi excluded, I left most of the rice behind but ate some) in the past few weeks so now the biggest questions are along the lines of what to do about dairy. Good or bad for me? And I've developed a crazy soda craving habit for ginger ale. I can drink 2L/day!
And my chest still hurts. Ugh.
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