Yet I still don't feel good. The fatigue episodes seem to come and go, but I'm always tired. And not "I just ran a lot" tired. Like, underwater tired. I have mood swings up and down. LA tells a joke and I can't process it to laugh or reply. I watch a movie and don't follow the plot well. I can't think to read a recipe or lab protocol. My work is suffering, I can't read a paper or article to follow it. My memory seems OK though, and I'm slowly learning Russian. I want to work out but I have no energy. There's no acceleration or zip, the effort is way higher than it should be. I'm not responding to basic Couch-to-5K schedules, not to strength training 101 type stuff. I feel weak, tired, heavy, sluggish - mentally and physically.
Then there's more. Since early 2019 I've been having leg aches, like I was hit with a blunt object in the femur. Like my bones hurt, not the joint or muscle. These have continued and they disrupt sleep and rest. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning everything hurts, even when I quit running and biking in March and April. My boobs are HUGE and swollen, painful and heavy. At first they seemed on a monthly schedule of pain and swell but now it's constant. My weight is the highest it's maybe ever been and it all came on in 2019 in 5-10 lb gains that seemed overnight (Might could blame M and B?). A low calorie and careful diet only stalled the weight gain. I'm not losing any weight in spite of exercise, cutting out dairy and grains and sugar. Stopped M 26 days ago and no change. Stopped Azul at the same time, no change. I'm always cold, sleeping under blankets when it's 74F in the house at night. I feel swollen and soft, is that the weight gain? I'm clumsy and uncoordinated, tripping over things and stumbling down steps. I'm avoiding trail running because of this. I had trouble sleeping all last year, but it's better this year, maybe thanks to LA, or just being diligent about it? I have constipation, along with gas and bloating. (You'd think I'd be happy to have the IBS-D gone, but...). Since around April, I'm so thirsty on some days I can drink myself sick (that might have been due to the addictive nature of the fake sugar water I was drinking? I stopped it on June 30th to test it). Since May, the left half of my face spasms and tics, some days feels like it's not moving right. Sometimes my speech is slow and confusing, sometimes slurred.
So I start off emailing Dr McM, given the boobs issue. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe it's the Mirena, maybe this or that, but she can't order a thyroid panel so I should contact Avery. So last Thursday, I did. (I didn't mention my boobs, terribly self-conscious about them, almost hate them). He recommended a thyroid test, as I was "borderline low" in 2018 after the cholesterol results.
I checked this result, my free T4 was 0.84, and the normal range was 0.9 and up. My TSH was 3.97, and normal is up to 4.00. I remember mulling these numbers and wanting more info. But I didn't seem as symptomatic then, given I was still running a lot they seemed to think I was OK. And subclinical probably doesn't indicate Rx treatment.
Anyway, that was last Thursday, and over the weekend I kept myself from getting too hooked on the idea of my thryoid being to blame for this. But it's an easy path to follow. I've made so many changes, what more changes can I make before becoming pathological and obsessive? My self esteem is low, due to physical appearance. My consideration of myself as an athlete is gone, I feel like a fat newb slugging around the park with all the other newbs. I think I should cover the M-dot tattoo that I don't feel like I should be able to wear. I don't recognize what I see in the mirror. I feel like I'm trapped in the wrong body. This has been going on for over a year!!!
So in 45 mins I get the blood test, and then I wait. I'm kinda hoping it shows that something is off because even though it's another Condition to have, at least it's an explanation! If it shows healthy ranges, THEN WHAT do I do?!
I've been holding off on looking at hypothyroid symptoms, but here they are. Before I look and paste it in, I've highlighted above my symptoms. I'm trying to avoid bias here. Underlined if I think I have the symptoms:
Hypthyroidism signs and symptoms may include:
- Fatigue
- Increased sensitivity to cold
- Constipation
- Dry skin
- Weight gain
- Puffy face
- Hoarseness
- Muscle weakness
- Elevated blood cholesterol level
- Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness (I didn't know this was a symptom!)
- Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
Heavier than normal or irregular menstrual periods(N/A)- Thinning hair
- Slowed heart rate -- (always have this)
- Depression
- Impaired memory
- Enlarged thyroid gland (goiter)
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