I looped Forest Park!!

RUN 6 miles as 1 mile run/1 min walk. Forest Park loop. 1:13 including the 5 minute CD walk at the end.

I woke up planning to run early. LA is off with his kiddos and I was on my own. I got up and dressed in good time, but after walking the dog my energy tanked. I wanted a nap, but I wanted to run! By this time it's 8am. I decide to eat a bit (banana, eggs, walnuts, ghee) and see if it helps. Nope. By now it's 9am, I decide to go to work and run while my PCR is going. 

But this amps up my anxiety. I was already anxious about not "wanting" run, more like "not being able" to run, maybe. The anxiety was vague and non-specific, and even going to work didn't calm me. Ugh. 

I'm getting PCR and shit done at work, and keep thinking Gotta Run, but I keep putting it off. In a few minutes. In a half hour. After I get this done. Postponing. It wasn't until 3pm that I got out the door, feeling flat and un-energized. My usual lately. See tomorrow's posts about this. 

Off I go, the cloud cover giving me some break from the heat and sun. I brought my old SE phone for music and enjoyed the next hour of no distraction running. 

My 3 run goals: finish the loop; walk if needed; don't get hurt. Simple, eh?

I took the CCW loop from work, enjoyed the Jefferson lab upper trail, the wood bridges behind the stream, the new trees and signs for Covid and all the other people out. But my mood was flat and at one point in mile 2 I felt an urge to cry. WTF? 

I walked 1 minute per mile, this wasn't a complete rest but any more and it wouldn't feel like I ran the loop. I was thrilled to reach the other end of the park, and as per in-run goal #4 I DID NOT walk up Skinker Hill! 

Then I was thrilled to be over half way, but by this point I'm low on energy. It's the same lack of energy I had before, but the mental push is wearing out. But I don't seem to know how to stop, so I keep going on my 1 mile/1 minute schedule. I push. Push. Push, TRUDGE, until 6 miles near the soccer fields. Then like a switch, motivation is gone. I thought about running at least a bit more so I could "beat" last week's 6.2 miles but it was a no-go. I walked 5 mins, then stopped the garmin. 

YAY! I didn't specifically hurt anywhere afterwards. Still that tight butt-crease hamstring pain later, and some right-side lower back spasms that more likely were from yesterday's Abs session. 

I DID IT!! Next up, work towards the full run without (or at least minimal) walk breaks.