I hate what I've become; The nightmare's just begun

I must confess that I feel like a monster

RUN Memorial Day 25th 2.8 miles/3.4 miles with LA
RUN 29th 4 miles! solo run

A whirlwind of stuff lately. I'm not even sure when and how it all happened. Let's see if I can piece it back together.

What did I do last weekend, before Memorial Day. I worked, I think. LA had his kids. So yeah, I worked.

On Monday we went for a run down through the brewery and along Broadway. The goal was 3 miles but we came up short. Still felt good. After that we packed up to get his toys and trailer from St Rob and take that back to my parents. Looooong day driving.

Monday midnight arrival. Tuesday LA and Dad got the toys ready for storage and I visited with Mom, Kaitlynn, and Michelle. Early Weds we left to return the trailer to St Rob. Looooong day driving there and back again to St Louis.

For Monday-Weds brekkie I had all meals pre-packed. I messed up and didn't think Weds would be an all day thing, I think maybe I planned to get dropped off in St Louis while he went alone to drop the trailer in St Rob. Anyway, I ended up eating potato chips and tootsie rolls for Weds lunch. Then Weds night I ate a munch-meal of cheese an potato and a meal of cottage cheese with lots (why did I do so much?!) of baking cocoa. Was I craving minerals? Craving a suffer the next day?

Anyway, I was sick by the time I went to bed. I was dysfunctionally tired. Woke up Thursday so tired and still dysfunctional. And the day went to hell. He went to St Rob again and I was going to go to work but was afraid to leave the bathroom. Ugh. The chocolate and the potatoes, sabotage.

I studied some Russian, I did a little housework, but it was mostly stress and cleaning. Clean the kitchen, the fridge, the bathtub, the bathrooms. UGH.

Friday, same shit. This was yesterday. I was kinda better, less urgent. But still munch-munch meals that are off-plan. I make a plan because it WORKS and then I do this. I went for a run as a sort of self-punishment and was sick within a mile. Was a long 4 miles. Afterwards I fell in to the azucbowl again too. UGH. More sick.

Friday was also 365 days of NO BALROG. WOW!!  More on that tomorrow.