There are few transforming events in life, even few transcendental I'd guess. My previous transcendental was R2T100 last October, somewhere around 1 or 2 or 3 am when I was walking solo on a fully dark path with only the stars spinning above in a pool of black. That's what the silver glitter on my thumb reminds me of, those quiet stars watching my progress. An occasional shooting star flashed overhead. I felt small, powerful, alone, connected, smothered, free.
Coulda been the opioids....but that was miles and hours before.
I realized a few weeks ago that August has been building to this, the metamorphosis I've been feeling seemed like it could crest here, like when the sun reappeared the Butterfly would appear.
A recent Jin pod talked about how the caterpillar needs to die for the Butterfly to be born. My computer wallpaper had a caterpillar - chrysalis - butterfly montage. Other pods mentioned this metamorphosis, the mush phase and the transformation, the death of a caterpillar and the birth of the butterfly.
To really top it off, I recently learned that xDH has left the building. Another freedom.
I rode out to my coworker's home for a group watch, an alternate to lab meeting as the boss called it. During the ride I realized that in other years I might do this as a run, the computer estimated 13-14 miles would make an eclipse marathon! But no, riding today. Besides, it's hot and all city running. I wasn't able to find a greensway or path to link through.
The eclipse at my house was only 30 seconds. I'm sure Sugar slept through it. SVC's house had 1:49.6, about the best I could do without a long early morning drive to some random place to watch alone. Glad I didn't do that!
The eclipse started for us at 11:49 am. We went out front to catch the beginnings, I sat alone on the sidewalk and re-listened to the Jin butterfly podcast. I was surprised at how slowly this progressed. Think about it, the sun and moon are zooming through space, the shadow on the ground was said to be moving at roughly 1500 mph in the midwest. Yet the moon ever so slowly crept across the sun. I wasn't in a rush, I wanted the time to meditate on this. I was feeling something.
As the totality approached, the crescent sun went to a fingernail sun, and we watched from the back patio. We talked some of the science -- learned what collimated lines are (parallel rays of light) and how they'll show as shadow lines immediately before and after the totality. Read about Bailey's Beads, the glowing beads we'll see due to the moon's topography. Shadows stayed short and crisp, the radiative heat of the sun decreased faster than the light. In fact, it was surprising how much sunlight reached us even as the sun disappeared to a thin line. But as that approached, the dimmer switch effect came on -- the suns fading intensity became notable. Like someone was just dimming it. Colors became muted and flat, birds and bugs quiet, but the excitement was anything but.
Then, suddenly, at 1:18pm, totality. The sun was just....gone. Through the glasses a faint orange ring, but glasses weren't needed now!! A black hole outlined by a dazzlingly bright ring, a fuzzy haze of corona, a 360 sunset effect, stars came out..... AMAZING. In shock and goosebumps and electricity I stood up as if walking a few steps closer could actually bring me closer. I took in the 360 effect, and saw towering thunderclouds to our north still bathed orange in sunlight and flashed in occasional sunlight. Words cannot describe this. It wasn't pitch dark, it was a magical dark. Light but not light. Day but not day. Totality. Nothing like I could have imagined.
Too soon, the diamond ring appeared, a burning bright spot at the top of the moon. Glasses back on!! But before I looked up again, I looked at the house. The shadow lines!! More goosebumps! It was like water reflecting on the side of the house. Thin shadow lines dancing across the siding, so transient, so mesmerizing, so once in a lifetime.
And like the caterpillar's passing, so did totality. The moon continued to fall off the sun, and day returned like before. This phase seemed to go faster than the pre-totality, and like another guest pointed out wasn't as exciting.
I was still awed. Calmed. Transformed?
Then another gift -- rain on my ride home! I couldn't see the rainbow, but that was another gift.
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