I woke up early to rain. No surpise, I knew it was coming. In fact, we looked forward to it because the sooner the front moved through the sooner Sunday's weather would clear out.
The original plan was to swim at 8am with DC, but we delayed for the rain. Good thing, because I heard from others that the water was rough that morning. Instead we swam around 11am.
The delay wasn't all good for me though. With the hubby still asleep I decided to pack my 5 gear bags. To help with packing, a had prepared index cards with a packing list about 2 weeks ago. I knew I'd be overwhelmed and not thinking clearly the morning I packed them. Good call.
I had the bags lined up #1-5 along the wall in the hotel floor. Some were easy to pack, like the dry clothes bag. Others had me paralyzed in thought. Will I change clothes after the swim? If yes, then I need the sports bra and tri shorts in bag #2, not bag #1. (I very nearly forgot to pack this sports bra!! This caused more minor panic.) Do I have enought food? Do I have too many caffeinated gels? Do I want things bundled together or separate and easy to find? (For this I decided to Ziplock small things into groups--all the food here, all the others there. DC suggested this, great idea, the plan was just grab whatever little bag I needed out of the big one).
I struggled with packing for about 3 hours. DC invited me to join him for breakfast, at first I thought it a good idea to get away from this stress. Then I decided against it; I needed to get this done! Chocolate or vanilla gel in bag #3? Will I need a long sleeve shirt for the run? Which bag of the run? Do I have electrolytes in each bag? Enough gum? Soon enough I pinpointed my stress: I had gear separation anxiety. The bike, bag #2, and #4 all had to be dropped off today between 10-4pm. This might be the last chance I had to be absolutely sure I had EVERYTHING I might want or need. I like to look at my stuff over and over and over the night before and the morning of a race. I'd pack a bag, then go through it again to be sure. And again. I needed to get out.
Soon the hubby woke up, and we left for breakfast. My legs were bouncing. I mouth going 90mph. My hands shaking. My thoughts jumbled. But I wasn't worried about the race. I was worried about packing for it. My stomach was a mess of twisting and turning.
The rain cleared up, then DC and I left to swim. By this time (11am or so) the waters calmed to a nice smooth surface. Almost the sheet of glass I'd heard about for this lake. So this 2nd practice swim was even better than yesterday's. DC and I swam out about 15 mins then turned around. He pointed out key features of the course, sightlines, buoys, and gave me an idea of how the start line would look. The buoys he pointed out seemed so far away from the shore, way out in the lake. This left me uncertain about the swim. Would we really be that far out?? Could I really swim this? Would I get too nervous in what seemed like the middle of the lake?? More stomach turning, just what I needed. Yet with all this the swim was great and built confidence.
Next was dropping off the bike on top of the Terrace parking lot. Bike racks seemed to stretch forever there. I found my rack and hung Frea. This morning I had opened my Powerbar packages (they are hard to open while riding) by cutting open a small slit at one end. Worried about rain, I took them back off the bike so I could keep them dry overnight. Not that rain was in the forecast...I was just overthinking.
Next was #2 and #4 gear bags. Each of these were placed in two large rooms in the Terrace. Imagine row after row of bags, ordered in increments of 50 by race numbers, with little signs pointing out which area your number was in. It reminded me of a library. 2900-some bags in all, all in order, all lined up for tomorrow. Now times that by 2, because there were two bags for each athlete. By dropping off the bags, I got a preview of where to go on race day. Through this door, follow this green carpet, to the bag, through this door, sit in this chair...oh heck. There was no way I was going to remember all this overnight. Besides, there were arrow signs and volunteers everywhere. So no need to worry about getting lost.
After that, Saturday race prep was mostly done. My gear separation anxiety subsided without bags to keep peeking in and checking. Short lunch, then back to the hotel. My stomach calmed down, and so did my mind. But I was awful at decisions. I couldn't think straight enough to decide between anything, thankfully Rich and DC were patient with me all day. I was pretty worthless :)
But overall I was feeling good. I varied between doubt and confidence. At one point on Saturday my cop-out excuses started lining up. I decided that if something happened and I couldn't finish, at least I could say I honestly did my best effort. Minutes later I could see myself at the finish line, and minutes after that I could see me in a bike crash. Doubt to confidence to doubt and back to confidence. But it was a healthy mixture of the two.
My family arrived to Madison that night, as did some club friends who came to spectate. We had a group dinner (at which I couldn't decide what to eat) and my family got a glimpse of my club buddies. haha, wonder what they thought.
The rule is that Friday night's sleep is the most important, because Saturday's sleep would be restless and short. But I slept good both nights, only some worry about that swim.
I would do my best. An honest effort. And regardless of the outcome, I would be satisfied with that.
Bullshit. I was going to finish this race. Come hell or high water.
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