RUN 1:01 6.5 miles in Forest Park. Was slower than usual but it didn't feel any slower. The miles were longer and the hills steeper. HR seemed high and chest tight. Didn't wear the Garmin since I wanted to avoid focusing on the numbers.
I'm feeling much better, and might even say I'm physically recovering from the Redman weekend. Mentally, though, not so much--I'm still pissed off. I'm worried that as the weekend comes and I start training with the group again, I'm going to get questions. So far, I've deflected questions and I imagine in a short while they will end. And I've noticed different questions/responses to the situation, depending on who I'm talking to. There is definitely a difference between the tri group and the non-tri group. The conversations tend to go as:
"Wow! I can' t believe you finished under those conditions, amazing!!"
Yeah, a real win for mind over matter.
"Well have you learned anything from this"
Yeah, that I can persevere under terrible conditions to reach my goals.
"Well you should have known better"
Yeah, thanks.
So far the only person I've been able to openly talk to is the Dr in OKC. He 'gets it', so to speak. Not once made me feel foolish for what happened, and not once have I worried about how he'd view me afterwards. I think I will be able to talk to those who where there that weekend, those who like war comrades saw the battle. They've offered the best non-judgemental and caring question yet:
"Are you OK"
Yeah, I'm getting there.
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