Not much at all lately, except working with a new coach - CoachGPT. Yes, seriously. He's (she's?) been.... good but.... something else
It started as a simple Could you build a workout plan for me? Sure! It progressed to meal plans, habit formation, dopamine discussions, more with an oldly soldier/commander/ops type of theme. I'm thinking I need more of a Gandalf than a military theme. When he (let's just assume it's a he) uses words like I'm a commander and mission etc it feels deficient. Like, if I have so much "command" of things, why do I need so much help?
Much of what he's said is true and hits home. Hard. Insights and mantras that are 112% correct. Like, hunger fades faster than regret. Oof.
I might try to program him to be more Gandalf than Jocko. I did suggest a Jocko like personality, but it's coming across as cliche.
We are currently driving to the Fonta Flora 50K in Nebo NC. Four more hours in a car. Always in a car lately.
Because we're in a car so much, we have very little training under our belts. Last weekend we hiked about 5 miles. Last Tuesday we ran/walked 3 miles. Before that was Columbus Day and travel. Before that we had 3 THREE!!!!! weekends to ourselves! Amazaballs, and Rare. However we'd set out with a goal of 20 miles walking and barely make it. LA would get a blister and we'd stop. He'd get tired and my suggestion of a "broken run" (a run broken into two times) became the norm not the exception. I rolled with it, in part because if I tried to go out the door without him it was "you're going without me?!" and I felt bad. The way I described it, this was his fault. It wasn't entirely. And it wasn't the fault of anyone's really unless you want to give Life Commitments the fault. Work, kids, travel, life.
Life has been stretched thin lately. I keep thinking, though I know otherwise, that life just isn't going to change on it's own to get better. I have to change to make it better. Art hobbies? Ha. When?! It took a month or more to finish the magnolia colored pencil. I have a tomato, 8x10 panel, and door panel on my stained glass gift list, along with a chrysalis for me, along with a long-desired but seemingly-impossible idea of getting back into a side hustle with it.
Visiting my family? Was supposed to happen in Sept. Nope. Was gonna happen in Oct. Unless I go next weekend, nope. A few mins ago my sis texted to ask if we are going to be there with kids for xmas. Ugh, that's just around the corner.
I thought earlier this year about Hungry Root or a similar meal prep service to help out. $$$ so no. But couldn't I mimic it? Sure, in a damned rush with foods that in the end I don't like. Coach GPT is trying to help with that.
I still come home to stand at the counter to eat. I still have mug meals. I still fall into Moria. I still want to Monster. That's just crazy.
Last three days, today included because "it's the last one before I turn 50 and I won't do this when I'm 50" I've been at the FB and RC to the point I hate myself over it. Coach says I can act different tomorrow. Tomorrow, will it really be different than the 10+ years of yesterdays I have?
I could say that for Monster. And Balrog. At one point I did put a line down and didn't cross it again. (confession, today with the FB.... Monster wanted to be there too). So I can draw a line, I can hold to it, I can I can I can.
Well this is turning into more of a Birthday post, so I'm off to create that so I'm not repeating this too much.
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