BIKE COMMUTE about 2 miles!!
Shhhhhh.....I'm not really supposed to be riding Puppy, but I couldn't resist. The rear tire has been flat since he came home from SO's mechanic, wouldn't hold air. Then in October Dad moved Puppster to the basement. Last night I pulled him back up and this morning popped a new tube in. I was singing "Go Puppy, it's your birthday, we're gonna party, like it's your birthday..." Don't worry, that song won't be added to the IM Songlist. Oh, maybe it will. Playing on the YouTuber now for review.
LOLZ can't help but laff at the video. Yeah no not sure about this one. As a side note, SO's Candy Shop song is next on the playlist. Hahaha! Oh ya this In Da Club song is awful. Why was I singing it?
This morning Marsha and I talked about running next week, only with permission from Dr White. In my mind's eye there will be confetti cannons. Today I did my longest treadmill and bike sessions - 30 mins of each (no handcycle, boring!). 1.75 mi walk and 7.8 miles biked.
I've been aiming for 60' mins of activity a day. On Tuesday (or Weds, not sure) I did the first P90X CD, did it lightly and was still sore and numb afterwards. It was the push-up/pull-up workout.
I'm feeling great! No symptoms since around Nov 5th or so. A few days ago I committed to a 6-8 week vegan test, I'm a few days in and starting with a juice "fast", not really a fast and not really all juice. But it's pushing veggies, I tried beets today - just a half cup of canned - and Yummy! So my shopping list for next week has lots of F&V that I don't normally buy.
Oh did I mention I bought a Breville juicer for only $10. Thanks neighbor! The doctors aren't telling me to go veg*n but when they hear about it they support it. So I'm happy to try it. I really never thought I'd be OK not eating meat because I love it so much! But I haven't had my fluff in over a week, had a few egg whites while home for Turkey day, and other than a steak SO brought over for dinner (a man after my heart!) I've been pretty meat free.
The goal of this veg*n test? 6-8 weeks, depending on how I'm feeling, to see if I can shift the blood numbers. I get tested next week or so and this will measure the effects of the Repatha anti-PCSK9 human monoclonal, then the next test in February will test the effects of the diet. At least that's how I see it.
Oh and speaking of SO, last night I got my xmas present! A SUPER NICE jersey and bib shorts. Bib shorts?! New for me, oooooh hope it warms up so I can wear them. The material is soft and thin and way nicer than I've ever owned for biking. Or running. Or well much of anything lately.
Speaking of Turkey day, I enjoyed some Turkey on two days, no cheese, and no other meat! Only some yogurt and a few nibs of SO's lasagna cheese that I made for him and Dad. Dad's pan was enjoyed by the whole family, including niece and nephew who stayed there for the weekend while sis and BIL were on vacay in New Orleans.
Speaking of neighbors, I'm getting more follow-up-ish on queries about the furniture and schtuff I'm trying to sell. My living room so cluttered - sofa, swivel chair, lamps, rocking chair. All piled up.
My coworker SVC had her last day today. I got her a Nathan waist pack and a BRR card for her Disney marathon. Real Disney, like not my Disney, haha.
It's supposed to be upwards of 60F tomorrow, after some overnight rain. Want to go hiking!! But lets see how much mud from the rain and how much work I need to get done this weekend. M&D might be visiting next weekend so I want to get caught up.
So for December it's getting into running and my vegan test!
Friday, November 30, 2018
Friday, November 16, 2018
I cn haz hundredz?!
YES according to Dr W who said that intensity is more the problem than volume. So when I specifically asked about the low HR races like ultras and hundreds, she seemed OK with it.
I can't WHOOP loud enough on paper for this!
It's a wonderful carrot. I joke that I'm already race shopping, but it's a joke. I went through all this spring race shopping and planning and mapping and thinking and etc and etc, only to have most none of it pan out. My eyes and brain were bigger than my endurance capacity and my hip healing.
This week has been my best week since the initial events on Labor Day weekend. 80-some days ago I think. (I set a countdown in my phone for this). I'm pain free, no cardiac symptoms, no dizzy or fatigue, or breathlessness like I was having. Whether it was mental or physical or a combination of both, who cares. I'm out of it.
This past weekend I had a strong urge to run, even just a block or two. I still have it, but haven't acted on it. At rehab I started doing 10' handcycle (swim), 20' bike, and 20' treadmill (run). Only the bike gets my HR up, walking will need more hill.
Today on the bike my BP was 120/something! The highest it's read for me lately, but also I don't typically get BP readings while exercising. I hit my goal of 5.5 miles in just a squeak under 20 mins. Then on the treadmill a woman who got on an adjacent treadmill halfway through my session set hers to 1.5% incline and 3.4 speed while I was 1.0% and 3.0 (GRRRRR) (but don't forget she was holding the handrails) (but still, the competitive in me...) and this only spurred me to increase very slowly my speed a few points. Next week, >3.0 on the 'mill.
And yesterday I did my first stairs climb at work to the 7th floor of the mouse house. Felt OK, so I'll continue adding that back in.
And I'm looking at being meat-free before the end of November. I'm going to enjoy Turkey and more while on holiday vacation, then transition once the "clean out" is done. Then I don't buy anymore until ....? I'm going for 6 weeks as my initial goal.
Bought a juicer too, did I mention that in the last post? Enjoying a morning juice, still finding my fave ingredients. For the past 2 weeks or so I've had awful bloating and gut swelling, last night was first night that it wasn't a problem. So gotta keep track on that. Some suspicions on the blackberries I've been buying.
I can't WHOOP loud enough on paper for this!
It's a wonderful carrot. I joke that I'm already race shopping, but it's a joke. I went through all this spring race shopping and planning and mapping and thinking and etc and etc, only to have most none of it pan out. My eyes and brain were bigger than my endurance capacity and my hip healing.
This week has been my best week since the initial events on Labor Day weekend. 80-some days ago I think. (I set a countdown in my phone for this). I'm pain free, no cardiac symptoms, no dizzy or fatigue, or breathlessness like I was having. Whether it was mental or physical or a combination of both, who cares. I'm out of it.
This past weekend I had a strong urge to run, even just a block or two. I still have it, but haven't acted on it. At rehab I started doing 10' handcycle (swim), 20' bike, and 20' treadmill (run). Only the bike gets my HR up, walking will need more hill.
Today on the bike my BP was 120/something! The highest it's read for me lately, but also I don't typically get BP readings while exercising. I hit my goal of 5.5 miles in just a squeak under 20 mins. Then on the treadmill a woman who got on an adjacent treadmill halfway through my session set hers to 1.5% incline and 3.4 speed while I was 1.0% and 3.0 (GRRRRR) (but don't forget she was holding the handrails) (but still, the competitive in me...) and this only spurred me to increase very slowly my speed a few points. Next week, >3.0 on the 'mill.
And yesterday I did my first stairs climb at work to the 7th floor of the mouse house. Felt OK, so I'll continue adding that back in.
And I'm looking at being meat-free before the end of November. I'm going to enjoy Turkey and more while on holiday vacation, then transition once the "clean out" is done. Then I don't buy anymore until ....? I'm going for 6 weeks as my initial goal.
Bought a juicer too, did I mention that in the last post? Enjoying a morning juice, still finding my fave ingredients. For the past 2 weeks or so I've had awful bloating and gut swelling, last night was first night that it wasn't a problem. So gotta keep track on that. Some suspicions on the blackberries I've been buying.
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Two weeks into November
I miss typing into my little log here, but at the same time it surprises me that days can go by and I don't even think about ?!
Today is the 13th, almost halfway into the month. On Friday the 2nd I met my lipidologist Dr S. Awesome many times over. He's excited to discuss the science and research and answer questions, what more can I want for? He's starting me on two more Rx, Repatha and Vascepa. I'm still doing the research on them. The first is a PCSK9 inhibitor that will result in more LDL particles at the cell surface, instead of being targeted for degradation. The second is a high concentration EPA fish oil show to reduce cardiac deaths/events but the mechanism isn't clear from what I read. The Repatha is almost $7000/year (this after a 60% discount by the manufacturer) and the Vascepa is $300/month. See what insurance will do for me. Dr S says they'll go to bat for me on that. Oh, and I stop my OTC fish oil, the DHA can increase LDL. He gets tests for TSH (normal), free T4 (low, haven't followed up with that yet), and a serum protein electrophoresis to look for oligoclonal bands indicative of antibody, one theory is that I have antibodies interfering with LDL uptake. Cool, right?! Except, it's me.
So then on to Monday, where I have a head and neck CT immediately followed by an appointment with Dr B. All is well. The 8mm iliac dissection in the abdominal/pelvic CT last week is either not really a dissection or it is and he's not worried about it. I'm feeling MUCH better that I did a week ago, I didn't realize just how fatigued and tired I felt. The metoprolol is the suspect in that. He's stopped that and now I'm on a Ca+2 channel blocker to keep the arterial muscle cells calm. Dr B is optimistic for my future, pleased with how things are going, and what better can you want than to hear "see you in 3 months". Awesome!
It seems my science life has invaded my training life blog.
Tuesday the 6th I see Dr L. I'm holding good there, he says I need to start up the PT exercises to restabilize my hip which has started popping sometimes and occasionally hurts at one of the hip flexors.
On Weds the 7th I go back to rehab! Again I recognize a huge increase in energy, mental and physical. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling in the weeks before my second hospital admission.
This past few days was a quiet weekend with no symptoms. And I bought a juicer. Just what my countertop needs. But, I can see where it fits into a more-veggie lifestyle. Some of the soup recipes use veg juice as a base instead of broth. And speaking of recipes, I'm hoarding veg*n books from the library (probably cruised through 15+ already) to learn what to do about vitamins, protein, how to fix these new foods, and more. Soooo much info, and it all seems to agree but that could be because I'm searching within a defined parameter of "vegan". Engine 2, Eat 2 Live, 22-Day Revolution -- all programs espousing no animal products, little to no oil, limited starch, veg*n life.
As of today, I've cut processed foods, pork, oil, beef, fish, full fat dairy, and this week egg yolks. Leaving me with chicken, egg whites, the remaining liver in the freezer. The goal last week was at least 1 meatless meal a day. This week pushing that out a little further.
I've added tofu and tempeh, more greens, chia and flax seed (don't overdo these either), tahini, sunflower seeds (>1T a fail), red lentils (OK to 1/8th cup so far), butternut (tend to overeat), canned chickpeas (fail), canned lentils (not final test, and kinda yucky), and eggplant. Next up maybe quinoa. Haha, Fuck Quinoa.
Speaking of whom. I have this long draft email to send him as an update. Last time I did this we talked over the phone and he invited me on to the pod. I'm tempted, but not wanting to do so. So I'm wondering, why send the email then. Keep thinking on it.
Well anyway, the nutrition experiment is going good with a potential issue? In the most recent cath before they started they took an image and asked if I was constipated? No... why....? I "looked like i was". Nice. Then in the abd/pelvic CT the same observation of a "large volume of feces" and more etc. Yeah, that would explain why my gut is perpetually SWOLLEN. Ugh, some days I feel nauseated. The next morning I pass what seems to be and entire large intestine of stuff. I'm giving my gut a few weeks to adapt before make more changes. Or worrying about it.
This week, still feeling great at rehab yesterday. On Sunday I had the urge to run, that urge has been stalled out lately so it felt good to see it coming back. Yesterday at rehab I did a "swim bike run" by doing the handcycle first, then a bike, then the treadmill. :)
Today, in an hour I have my first followup with Dr White. More after that.
Today is the 13th, almost halfway into the month. On Friday the 2nd I met my lipidologist Dr S. Awesome many times over. He's excited to discuss the science and research and answer questions, what more can I want for? He's starting me on two more Rx, Repatha and Vascepa. I'm still doing the research on them. The first is a PCSK9 inhibitor that will result in more LDL particles at the cell surface, instead of being targeted for degradation. The second is a high concentration EPA fish oil show to reduce cardiac deaths/events but the mechanism isn't clear from what I read. The Repatha is almost $7000/year (this after a 60% discount by the manufacturer) and the Vascepa is $300/month. See what insurance will do for me. Dr S says they'll go to bat for me on that. Oh, and I stop my OTC fish oil, the DHA can increase LDL. He gets tests for TSH (normal), free T4 (low, haven't followed up with that yet), and a serum protein electrophoresis to look for oligoclonal bands indicative of antibody, one theory is that I have antibodies interfering with LDL uptake. Cool, right?! Except, it's me.
So then on to Monday, where I have a head and neck CT immediately followed by an appointment with Dr B. All is well. The 8mm iliac dissection in the abdominal/pelvic CT last week is either not really a dissection or it is and he's not worried about it. I'm feeling MUCH better that I did a week ago, I didn't realize just how fatigued and tired I felt. The metoprolol is the suspect in that. He's stopped that and now I'm on a Ca+2 channel blocker to keep the arterial muscle cells calm. Dr B is optimistic for my future, pleased with how things are going, and what better can you want than to hear "see you in 3 months". Awesome!
It seems my science life has invaded my training life blog.
Tuesday the 6th I see Dr L. I'm holding good there, he says I need to start up the PT exercises to restabilize my hip which has started popping sometimes and occasionally hurts at one of the hip flexors.
On Weds the 7th I go back to rehab! Again I recognize a huge increase in energy, mental and physical. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling in the weeks before my second hospital admission.
This past few days was a quiet weekend with no symptoms. And I bought a juicer. Just what my countertop needs. But, I can see where it fits into a more-veggie lifestyle. Some of the soup recipes use veg juice as a base instead of broth. And speaking of recipes, I'm hoarding veg*n books from the library (probably cruised through 15+ already) to learn what to do about vitamins, protein, how to fix these new foods, and more. Soooo much info, and it all seems to agree but that could be because I'm searching within a defined parameter of "vegan". Engine 2, Eat 2 Live, 22-Day Revolution -- all programs espousing no animal products, little to no oil, limited starch, veg*n life.
As of today, I've cut processed foods, pork, oil, beef, fish, full fat dairy, and this week egg yolks. Leaving me with chicken, egg whites, the remaining liver in the freezer. The goal last week was at least 1 meatless meal a day. This week pushing that out a little further.
I've added tofu and tempeh, more greens, chia and flax seed (don't overdo these either), tahini, sunflower seeds (>1T a fail), red lentils (OK to 1/8th cup so far), butternut (tend to overeat), canned chickpeas (fail), canned lentils (not final test, and kinda yucky), and eggplant. Next up maybe quinoa. Haha, Fuck Quinoa.
Speaking of whom. I have this long draft email to send him as an update. Last time I did this we talked over the phone and he invited me on to the pod. I'm tempted, but not wanting to do so. So I'm wondering, why send the email then. Keep thinking on it.
Well anyway, the nutrition experiment is going good with a potential issue? In the most recent cath before they started they took an image and asked if I was constipated? No... why....? I "looked like i was". Nice. Then in the abd/pelvic CT the same observation of a "large volume of feces" and more etc. Yeah, that would explain why my gut is perpetually SWOLLEN. Ugh, some days I feel nauseated. The next morning I pass what seems to be and entire large intestine of stuff. I'm giving my gut a few weeks to adapt before make more changes. Or worrying about it.
This week, still feeling great at rehab yesterday. On Sunday I had the urge to run, that urge has been stalled out lately so it felt good to see it coming back. Yesterday at rehab I did a "swim bike run" by doing the handcycle first, then a bike, then the treadmill. :)
Today, in an hour I have my first followup with Dr White. More after that.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
No _______ November?
November 1st, and it seems my main goal right at the moment is planning out my diet changes. I talk to a lipidologist tomorrow, will know more about whether going veg*n, full or in part, will make differences for me. I should at least try it? Either way, because I like planning and because I don't have any training plans or races to plan for, I'm planning this.
List to add and test slowly over time: soy and tahini already done, then quinoa, red lentils, flax, chia, butternut, oats?, more greens, canned legume, canned lentil, eggplant. I've found 2 more FODMAP apps that are helping with the serving sizes. The schedule will be determined by how symptoms go.
List to eliminate over time: processed food and and pork already done, then in this order: added oil and beef, egg yolks and fish, full fat dairy and chicken, all egg and all dairy and liver. This was in part dictated by what foods I have on hand to use up. I think if I don't consume all of fish for example (bag of scallops, 2 sardines, 1 oyster, 1 salmon, 1 anchovy) it won't be the end of the world. Eat them into the next week, or just leave in cabinet.
So far, butternut was a problem because I ate too much. The latest serving recommendation is only 0.25c. I was eating 1 cup! Also tested flax and chia, but lines got blurred because I was stacking and overdoing the recommended 1 tablespoon serving.
Geezus, VEGAN?! What a HUGE missed-steak.
List to add and test slowly over time: soy and tahini already done, then quinoa, red lentils, flax, chia, butternut, oats?, more greens, canned legume, canned lentil, eggplant. I've found 2 more FODMAP apps that are helping with the serving sizes. The schedule will be determined by how symptoms go.
List to eliminate over time: processed food and and pork already done, then in this order: added oil and beef, egg yolks and fish, full fat dairy and chicken, all egg and all dairy and liver. This was in part dictated by what foods I have on hand to use up. I think if I don't consume all of fish for example (bag of scallops, 2 sardines, 1 oyster, 1 salmon, 1 anchovy) it won't be the end of the world. Eat them into the next week, or just leave in cabinet.
So far, butternut was a problem because I ate too much. The latest serving recommendation is only 0.25c. I was eating 1 cup! Also tested flax and chia, but lines got blurred because I was stacking and overdoing the recommended 1 tablespoon serving.
Geezus, VEGAN?! What a HUGE missed-steak.
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
October Songlist additions
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
It takes a lot to change your plans
Hell a train to change your mind
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
Oh, maybe it's time to let the old ways die
and
You found the light in me that I couldn't find
and
It takes a lot to change your plans
Hell a train to change your mind
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die
Oh, maybe it's time to let the old ways die
and
You found the light in me that I couldn't find
and
I'm fighting a battle
I'm fighting my shadow
Herd fears like they're cattle
I'm fighting a battle, yeah
I'm fighting my ego
Lost youth, where did we go wrong?
I'm fighting for me, though
I'm lighting the long way home
I'm fighting my shadow
Herd fears like they're cattle
I'm fighting a battle, yeah
I'm fighting my ego
Lost youth, where did we go wrong?
I'm fighting for me, though
I'm lighting the long way home
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
But the battle was lost
'Cause I'm still here
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past it haunted me
Oh, the past it wanted me dead
Oh, the past tormented me
But the battle was lost
'Cause I'm still here
How October ended. The Good, The Bad, and the Vegan.
Monday Oct 22. No rehab due to suspension. Dr A just so happens to message me, asking how I'm doing. I reply with last week's story. He says I should call Dr B. I send Dr B the same message. And get an appt for Wednesday. The day goes OK, I left awful in lab meeting. TM said I looked sullen. Sooooo not my goal for anyone to see this. I've been aiming for Make Like Duck (make it look easy...) but I'm failing. I make a list of things to do before anyone comes to the house, and prep a packed bag, expecting the possibility of a September repeat.
Tuesday Oct 23. Still pain. To be more specific -- Getting up out of the chair and moving for a few minutes induces a tight feeling in the chest, that sometimes radiates up into my neck. I think even my jaw and ears. But it's not pain like I call pain. And it goes away after a few mins.
Weds Oct 24th. I get a balloon and Energy Drink from TM, LOL. Have lunch with TV. Appt with Dr B, and just the walk over to the CAM building left me w symptoms. As I waited in the room, studying meditatively the heart anatomy wall poster, I contemplated how to describe this. Dr B reviews my SLU cath images (so cool except it's me), can very clearly see how arteries acutely narrow to nothing. And he might even see another tear. He wants Dr Sing (phonetic spelling for now) to review tomorrow. In the meantime time he wants to admit me. NOW I REALLY START HAVING SYMPTOMS. Oh gawd, NO! But....... I can't deny how I feel. (well, I can deny anything, but.....). So I go home, grab up the dog, quick tidy the house, and grab the bag I packed on Monday. How did I know? Once at BJC, I drug my feet, walked Hudlin to see the rising full moon (never did get to see it), went to lab, finally checked myself in.
The hospital stay, Day 1. Weds night. The plan is to prep me for cath tomorrow, so NPO after midnight. I hadn't eaten since lunch with TV and I had zero appetite now. So I opted for no dinner. Hooked up to telemetry, giving some new meds, they tried nitro SL but my BP dropped too low and I was dizzy, so the IV nitro wasn't even started.
Day 2, my FUCKING BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday to me, how looks, my EKG? OK not funny. Up and waiting the day to see what happens. Dr B comes by quickly, I'm getting cath'd in the afternoon. More waiting. I get a balloon from Concierge, the nurses want to bring me a cupcake but I'm g-free dairy-free and on top of all that NPO. Waiting, enjoying my Indianapolis book, fielding texts about birthday and updates. I don't tell most people where I am, I'm embarrassed about it all. And don't want to attract attention for it. My cath is scheduled for 3pm, M&D expect to arrive about then. They find me in pre-cath prep, I'm so happy they made it before I went in! I was awake for all of the cath this time and watched what I could on the big TV. Great News!!!! The stents are wide open, everything is healing, and they see nothing. Wait, then what's causing the pain?? Dr S suggests artery spasms. Ugh. OK so good and vague news. Back to recovery, Dr B comes in and seems 10x more relieved than I am, I think I'm still processing, M&D come in, Dr S comes in, it's like a parade and I'm at the middle of it and don't like it, then back to my room for 4 hours of stillness for the post-cath wound closure. As before, I use this time to think.
See this is good news, but also not so good news for me. Now what do I do when I have symptoms? Keep going? Ignore it? How do I trust myself? Was I making it all up? Was it in my head? Did I condition myself to feel "something" on a treadmill? Did I get too involved in the pain, and cause myself anxiety?
It was real. I'm certain of that. It would come on so unexpectedly, like a surprise. I wasn't overtly anxious over it, it was more of a mental diversion, a distraction. I couldn't focus when it happened. That last bit might be the "overthinking" and "getting too involved" in the pain. So mayhaps I amplified it? I don't think so, my gut instinct doesn't agree with that. But I will for sure watch for this in the future, as part of the modifications.
In other news of the day, M&D set off the alarm at the house that night. But it's OK but who would break into the house with custom plates, a business logo on the vehicle, and be carrying things INTO the house?! LOL. Got my new dining room table.
Day 3, M&D come in early for Dr B's rounds. I get my bday present -- the necklace!! Time For A Snoopy Dance! Then I'm whisked away for my echocardiogram. Happily the sonographer explained it all in wonderful detail!! 30-40 mins of fun! I have mild and normal valve leaks, he doesn't mention anything else. Dr B comes in briefly, he talked to M&D too --
** And fucking-A just sitting here my chest starts to hurt, a pulsing focal pain. WTF. **
-- even though he didn't have explicit permission to do so, and I'm so thankful he did. He smirked when Mom told him about Cleo, LOL. Back to the room, where things happened quickly and I was discharged. HOME!!
We kinda celebrated my birthday the whole weekend. Shopping errands, resting, saw RM on Saturday for dog walk and TH on Sunday for breakfast. Dad walked Sugar, fixed back gate and installed light, and did lots of little lifting duties and more. Mom showed me how to cook tilapia. Visit ended way too soon. But I was looking much better this time around, the last time they were here things were less certain.
The last week of October, the 29th, I was back at work. Feeling MUCH better. It seems a heavy fatigue is lifted, was I subclinical sick last week? Did my weeklong experience with hives have something to do with anything? Today (on Nov 1st) I happily emailed Dr B an update that said I'm better than the past two weeks. and it's true. Not Cleo.
There's so much to be said about the past week. I may end up adding some in edits, or maybe I'll just let it go into the past. Speaking of which, I've dropped for now the 30+ point checklist thingie I've been doing for a few years. Time to let the old ways die? (Good song, by the way, downloaded to song list). So far I don't miss it. Of course, I've started another checklist. But I've also dropped the weekly Nutso checker with the colors and boxes I've been doing for a year or more too.
One week ago I was in the cath lab at this hour. Now I'm back to life, planning diet changes -- have lots of vegetarian and vegan books from the library!, listening to a 7-8 hour podcast from Peter Attila on cholesterol, fielding innumerable MyChart updates, straightening out a $22000 bill from St Mary's with UHC (Yikes, you can't do that to a heart patient!), and every now and then I feel an itch to run again.
Tuesday Oct 23. Still pain. To be more specific -- Getting up out of the chair and moving for a few minutes induces a tight feeling in the chest, that sometimes radiates up into my neck. I think even my jaw and ears. But it's not pain like I call pain. And it goes away after a few mins.
Weds Oct 24th. I get a balloon and Energy Drink from TM, LOL. Have lunch with TV. Appt with Dr B, and just the walk over to the CAM building left me w symptoms. As I waited in the room, studying meditatively the heart anatomy wall poster, I contemplated how to describe this. Dr B reviews my SLU cath images (so cool except it's me), can very clearly see how arteries acutely narrow to nothing. And he might even see another tear. He wants Dr Sing (phonetic spelling for now) to review tomorrow. In the meantime time he wants to admit me. NOW I REALLY START HAVING SYMPTOMS. Oh gawd, NO! But....... I can't deny how I feel. (well, I can deny anything, but.....). So I go home, grab up the dog, quick tidy the house, and grab the bag I packed on Monday. How did I know? Once at BJC, I drug my feet, walked Hudlin to see the rising full moon (never did get to see it), went to lab, finally checked myself in.
The hospital stay, Day 1. Weds night. The plan is to prep me for cath tomorrow, so NPO after midnight. I hadn't eaten since lunch with TV and I had zero appetite now. So I opted for no dinner. Hooked up to telemetry, giving some new meds, they tried nitro SL but my BP dropped too low and I was dizzy, so the IV nitro wasn't even started.
Day 2, my FUCKING BIRTHDAY. Happy Birthday to me, how looks, my EKG? OK not funny. Up and waiting the day to see what happens. Dr B comes by quickly, I'm getting cath'd in the afternoon. More waiting. I get a balloon from Concierge, the nurses want to bring me a cupcake but I'm g-free dairy-free and on top of all that NPO. Waiting, enjoying my Indianapolis book, fielding texts about birthday and updates. I don't tell most people where I am, I'm embarrassed about it all. And don't want to attract attention for it. My cath is scheduled for 3pm, M&D expect to arrive about then. They find me in pre-cath prep, I'm so happy they made it before I went in! I was awake for all of the cath this time and watched what I could on the big TV. Great News!!!! The stents are wide open, everything is healing, and they see nothing. Wait, then what's causing the pain?? Dr S suggests artery spasms. Ugh. OK so good and vague news. Back to recovery, Dr B comes in and seems 10x more relieved than I am, I think I'm still processing, M&D come in, Dr S comes in, it's like a parade and I'm at the middle of it and don't like it, then back to my room for 4 hours of stillness for the post-cath wound closure. As before, I use this time to think.
See this is good news, but also not so good news for me. Now what do I do when I have symptoms? Keep going? Ignore it? How do I trust myself? Was I making it all up? Was it in my head? Did I condition myself to feel "something" on a treadmill? Did I get too involved in the pain, and cause myself anxiety?
It was real. I'm certain of that. It would come on so unexpectedly, like a surprise. I wasn't overtly anxious over it, it was more of a mental diversion, a distraction. I couldn't focus when it happened. That last bit might be the "overthinking" and "getting too involved" in the pain. So mayhaps I amplified it? I don't think so, my gut instinct doesn't agree with that. But I will for sure watch for this in the future, as part of the modifications.
In other news of the day, M&D set off the alarm at the house that night. But it's OK but who would break into the house with custom plates, a business logo on the vehicle, and be carrying things INTO the house?! LOL. Got my new dining room table.
Day 3, M&D come in early for Dr B's rounds. I get my bday present -- the necklace!! Time For A Snoopy Dance! Then I'm whisked away for my echocardiogram. Happily the sonographer explained it all in wonderful detail!! 30-40 mins of fun! I have mild and normal valve leaks, he doesn't mention anything else. Dr B comes in briefly, he talked to M&D too --
** And fucking-A just sitting here my chest starts to hurt, a pulsing focal pain. WTF. **
-- even though he didn't have explicit permission to do so, and I'm so thankful he did. He smirked when Mom told him about Cleo, LOL. Back to the room, where things happened quickly and I was discharged. HOME!!
We kinda celebrated my birthday the whole weekend. Shopping errands, resting, saw RM on Saturday for dog walk and TH on Sunday for breakfast. Dad walked Sugar, fixed back gate and installed light, and did lots of little lifting duties and more. Mom showed me how to cook tilapia. Visit ended way too soon. But I was looking much better this time around, the last time they were here things were less certain.
The last week of October, the 29th, I was back at work. Feeling MUCH better. It seems a heavy fatigue is lifted, was I subclinical sick last week? Did my weeklong experience with hives have something to do with anything? Today (on Nov 1st) I happily emailed Dr B an update that said I'm better than the past two weeks. and it's true. Not Cleo.
There's so much to be said about the past week. I may end up adding some in edits, or maybe I'll just let it go into the past. Speaking of which, I've dropped for now the 30+ point checklist thingie I've been doing for a few years. Time to let the old ways die? (Good song, by the way, downloaded to song list). So far I don't miss it. Of course, I've started another checklist. But I've also dropped the weekly Nutso checker with the colors and boxes I've been doing for a year or more too.
One week ago I was in the cath lab at this hour. Now I'm back to life, planning diet changes -- have lots of vegetarian and vegan books from the library!, listening to a 7-8 hour podcast from Peter Attila on cholesterol, fielding innumerable MyChart updates, straightening out a $22000 bill from St Mary's with UHC (Yikes, you can't do that to a heart patient!), and every now and then I feel an itch to run again.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
3rd week of October, 2nd week of rehab
So little is going on, I can only come up with lame post titles.
Monday 15th -- After Friday's increase in symptoms at rehab, more attention was put on me today. And sure enough, a few minutes into the bike I had "symptoms": chest discomfort (not really pain), throat pain on left side, and a headache. I did get 25 mins on the treadmill, 20 mins on the bike (with lots of slowing and stopping), and 10 mins on the hand cycle. The rest of the day, I had chest discomfort.
Tuesday -- purposefully took an easy morning and noted no symptoms. Good, like starting from a zero baseline. Then I walked into work from FoPa, took the steps up to Children's and since then (hours ago) I'm having chest pain. Just pain in the chest, behind the sternum, comes and goes, sometimes pretty notable. But not at all like the initial attacks. My bottle of nitroglycerin is sitting next to me, what to do?! Take it and see what happens? This borders on scary.
I left off here. Now it's Oct 31st and I'm retro-writing. I'll pick up in next post.
But I can summarize the rest of the above week -- more symptoms Friday in rehab, and received a call that afternoon that rehab is suspended for at least two weeks.
Monday 15th -- After Friday's increase in symptoms at rehab, more attention was put on me today. And sure enough, a few minutes into the bike I had "symptoms": chest discomfort (not really pain), throat pain on left side, and a headache. I did get 25 mins on the treadmill, 20 mins on the bike (with lots of slowing and stopping), and 10 mins on the hand cycle. The rest of the day, I had chest discomfort.
Tuesday -- purposefully took an easy morning and noted no symptoms. Good, like starting from a zero baseline. Then I walked into work from FoPa, took the steps up to Children's and since then (hours ago) I'm having chest pain. Just pain in the chest, behind the sternum, comes and goes, sometimes pretty notable. But not at all like the initial attacks. My bottle of nitroglycerin is sitting next to me, what to do?! Take it and see what happens? This borders on scary.
I left off here. Now it's Oct 31st and I'm retro-writing. I'll pick up in next post.
But I can summarize the rest of the above week -- more symptoms Friday in rehab, and received a call that afternoon that rehab is suspended for at least two weeks.
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